“I don’t think I want you to pay me,” Evie said slowly.
Natalie nodded. “I understand.”
“It was fun for a bit,” Evie said. “Talking about it. But with that, just before, it’s kind of getting out of hand.”
Natalie nodded.
“Is that okay?” Evie said.
Natalie shrugged. “I do understand.”
“You’re not too disappointed?”
“I understand,” Natalie said again. Carefully on purpose, Evie assumed. Deliberately not answering the actual question. Evie didn’t point that out.
“Well,” Natalie said, and glanced around. “All right. I can take you home now if you’d like.”
“What?” Evie said. “Um, not really.”
Natalie looked at her, confused.
“I mean, not unless you want me to go,” Evie said.
“Of course not,” Natalie said.
“Well, then no.”
Natalie kept looking at her. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand.”
“We’re friends, right?” Evie said. “Or we’re becoming friends, at least. You said that before.”
“I did, yes. Of course we are.”
“So how do you normally try and fuck one of your friends.”
“Usually I don’t.”
Evie smiled. “Yeah, I imagine. But if you were.”
Natalie shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Well maybe,” Evie said. “If you want to fuck me, you should just try taking to me for a bit. Sort of chat, like anyone else would, and then maybe, you know, ask me if I’d like to fuck or something. Instead of just offering me money.”
“What,” Natalie said, seeming shocked. “Just say, would you like to fuck, just like that?”
Evie sighed. “With your eyes or hand or whatever. You don’t have to with actual words.”
“Oh.” Natalie kept looking at her. “Yes, all right.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.”
“So we’ll do that?”
“We’ll do that. But Evie, could I just ask? Are you offended? About the money?”
“Not really.”
“You sounded a little like you are.”
Evie thought, and then said again, “Not really.” Doing Natalie’s trick back to her, not quite answering the question.
“A little?” Natalie said. “I’m sorry to ask, I just think we should sort this out.”
Evie shrugged.
“Well, I’m sorry if you were,” Natalie said, sounding slightly defensive, “You didn’t seem to be the other day.”
“I’m not offended,” Evie said, relenting. “I’m just... Not sure it was the right way to do this.”
“Oh,” Natalie said, and suddenly seemed to be thinking quite hard.
Evie realized why. She realized what she’d said.
“There is a this, right?” Evie said. “I’m not wrong about that?”
Natalie didn’t answer.
“Is there?” Evie said. “A this which is more than you being able to pay me, and whatever’s going on with you and that.”
“What?” Natalie said. “Nothing’s going on with me and that.”
“You’re sure?”
“Fairly.”
“Good,” Evie said, and decided not to get distracted by side conversations. “So there is a this?”
Natalie hesitated, and then sighed, like she had earlier about money. “There’s a this,” she said. “Yes.”
“Good,” Evie said. “I’m glad.”
“I imagine.”
“I am,” Evie said. “Because if I’m going to do this, if we’re going to be having sex, I think want to for free, okay? I don’t think I want you to pay me.”
“Oh,” Natalie said, startled. “Evie, I…”
“Just listen. So this thing just now, that answered my question. I know how much I’m worth to you now. And I think knowing that is enough for me, and I don’t actually need to do it.”
Natalie looked completely confused, and Evie didn’t really blame her.
“Never mind,” Evie said. “It makes sense to me.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“So it’s okay?” Evie said. “If you don’t pay me?”
“I think I can cope.”
“You really ought to be pleased,” Evie said, and grinned, and after a moment Natalie smiled back.
“I am,” Natalie said. “And just to check. You don’t want to go home just yet?”
“No, not unless you want me to.”
“Of course I don’t.”
“Then I’d like to stay.”
“All right. Good.”
“And I’d like you to talk to me. Like normal people do.”
“Of course.”
“People who don’t try and buy other people to fuck them. And people who don’t try to sell themselves.”
Natalie looked at Evie, then seemed to decide to leave that alone. She nodded, and picked up the wine bottle, and held it out. “More wine?”
“Thank you,” Evie said.
Natalie began to pour. “Perhaps you should keep the money for tonight though,” she said, as she poured. “Just since…” She looked up and saw Evie’s face, and stopped. “Oh fuck.”
Evie was annoyed again. She was very close to angry. She made herself calm down, since the last time someone said something stupid it had been her.
“You really are an asshole,” Evie said, quite calmly.
“Shit,” Natalie said, then, “Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I completely didn’t think.”
“Stop talking,” Evie said. “Please.”
Natalie looked at her.
“Just stop,” Evie said, and held out the money. “And do something with that.”
Natalie took the money, and put it in a drawer. The nearest one she could open, Evie thought. Evie saw cutlery inside it.
“Would you like to sit down?” Natalie said.
“I’m sitting.”
Natalie looked at the couches. “Over there.”
“Oh,” Evie said. “Yep. Okay.”
Evie slid forwards off the bench, and onto the floor, then picked up her glass, and followed Natalie to the couch. The apartment lights were dim again. The lights outside were bright. Evie looked, for a moment, then realized Natalie was hesitating, waiting to sit down.
“Where?” Evie said.
Natalie shrugged.
“Where do you usually sit?” Evie said.
Natalie seemed almost embarrassed. “I usually don’t,” she said. “I’m usually at work, and I don’t have that many guests.”
“So where would you like to sit?”
“Just sit down,” Natalie said, sounding tired. “Please.”
Evie looked at her, and then did, facing the windows, where she could see the view.
*
Evie looked at the city’s lights and sipped her wine. She felt old and wise and terribly sophisticated, mostly because the wine wasn’t sharp and she was sixteen floors above the street.
She was thinking. A lot had just changed, and she needed a moment to work it all out.
“Um,” she said suddenly. “Could I say one last thing, before we stop talking about money?”
“Of course.”
“You don’t mind?”
Natalie shook her head.
“Wait,” Evie said. “I have to say two things. First is that apparently the idea of being paid kind of turns me on, but not so much I’m actually going to do it. Does that make any sense?”
“It does, actually.”
“Good. Because what I was actually going to say was that all that isn’t actually anything to do with why I’m here with you. Not really.”
Natalie looked over at her.
“I like you,” Evie said. “The money was part of it, part of why this was fun. But money wasn’t all of why I’m here. Does that make sense too?”
“Almost,” Natalie said. “As best as it can, yes.”
“Good. I just wanted you to know.”
They were both quiet for a moment. Evie watched a plane high over the city, out towards the airport.
“It’s just that I feel like I took advantage,” Evie said. “Like I tricked you or something.”
“You didn’t.”
“I kind of did. By talking about all this so much, and then not doing it. I’m sorry, that’s all.”
“I was taking advantage too.”
“By paying me?”
Natalie shrugged.
“You weren’t really. Taking advantage.”
“It feels like it to me.”
“You didn’t mean to, though?” Evie said. “Did you?”
Natalie sat there for a while. “Not on purpose, no.”
“So don’t worry about it, then.”
Natalie nodded, and there was another silence. Natalie seemed to be thinking.
“When I gave you that cheque,” Natalie said. “I liked you less. Just while we’re telling each other things.”
“Because the price went up.”
Natalie looked over. “Not because the price went up. Because you were changing the arrangement, and that made it feel like maybe this was only about money to you.”
“Oh,” Evie said. “Why shouldn’t it only have been about money? At the start?”
“Was it?”
“Maybe,” Evie said.
“It wasn’t?”
Evie shrugged.
“I hoped it wasn’t,” Natalie said. “I wanted to think that.”
“It wasn’t,” Evie said.
Natalie smiled.
“It wasn’t, except we both know now that I’ll fuck for money,” Evie said. “So what does that make me?”
Natalie thought. “That bothers you? That you were going to?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You didn’t in the end, though,” Natalie said. “For what that’s worth. You never actually did.”
“I know. But I would have. It was just chance we didn’t last time.”
“I’m glad we didn’t.”
“Yep,” Evie said. “Of course you are. It saved you three hundred dollars.”
Natalie looked at her.
“Sorry,” Evie said. “I think I was joking.”
“You think?”
“I was. And I’m glad we didn’t too.”
Natalie nodded.
There was another silence. A truck went past somewhere far below. Evie heard the engine come and then go.
“While we’re saying things…” Evie said, then stopped.
“Go on.”
“I might still like the idea of being paid,” Evie said. “Just not by you. Is that terrible?”
“Not really.”
“I don’t really understand why.”
Natalie seemed to be thinking again. “Can I say something?” she said. “Advice, I suppose?”
Evie shrugged. “Yep.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course. Why not?”
“I don’t want to be telling you things all the time, with my...”
Evie understood. “Age?”
Natalie made a face.
“It’s fine,” Evie said. “That you say things because of your age.”
“Stop it.”
“With your wisdom.”
“Please,” Natalie said. “I meant you might get sick of being lectured at, that was all.”
“Nah, it’s fine.”
Natalie hesitated.
“Tell me,” Evie said.
“I think the first time was a little different,” Natalie said. “And it changed after that. The first time, we didn’t know each other. You thought I was a stranger you’d never see again, and that made it all right.”
“Yep, maybe,” Evie said, thinking.
“But now we know each other better, and that changes things.”
“Yeah, I suppose it does.”
“Just if that helps at all,” Natalie said.
“Actually it does.”
There was another silence, another moment to think.
“I don’t want this to change,” Evie said. “Just so you know. I like what this is. I like your dipshit way of picking people up.”
“I…,” Natalie said, then, “Thank you.”
Evie shrugged.
Natalie sipped her wine, and looked at Evie, and Evie thought Natalie was deciding what to say next.
“Okay,” Evie said. “So are we or not? Because if we’re going to, we should probably get to it.”
“You mean…”
“Sex? Yep.”
“Just like that?” Natalie said, sounding startled.
“Or we don’t have to. If you’d rather not.”
Natalie didn’t answer for a moment. She looked at Evie, and cleared her throat. “I have a suggestion,” she said. “And it’s just a suggestion. Why not leave it for tonight, and start again next time. And do something, then. Not anything particular, just have dinner, perhaps.”
“No sex?”
“Perhaps not tonight.”
“You don’t want to?” Evie said.
“Not until you’re sure you do.”
Evie was actually surprised. “Why not?”
“Does it matter?”
“No. I mean, I thought this was just… fucking. And being friendly.”
“I like you. I like to talk to you. So if you want to do something else, something that isn’t just sex…”
“Oh,” Evie said. “Yeah, okay. Actually, I would.”
“Only if you want to. I mean, if you don’t….”
“No, I get it. Friends, yeah?”
Natalie nodded.
“Um,” Evie said. “Okay. So one thing, though, and I really mean this. You can’t try and pay me again. Not if we’re going to be friends. Not for anything, and not ever. Because I’m not okay with what it would make me if you did.”
Natalie nodded.
“We can be friends,” Evie said. “We can fuck each other. But we if get this other thing mixed up with us… I just can’t stand that, okay?”
“All right,” Natalie said.
“You do understand?”
“I think so. No more jokes.”
“Yeah,” Evie said, and smiled. “Maybe not. And don’t even buy me a drink if I ask you not to, okay?”
“All right.”
“Not anything, okay? Please be sure you understand. Really sure.”
“Evie, I am. I do.”
“I’ll never forgive you if you mess this up.”
Natalie looked at her, and said, quietly, “I understand, Evie. I won’t.”
“Thank you,” Evie said. She leaned towards Natalie and kissed her quickly and said, “One or the other, okay? Paying or friends.”
Natalie nodded.
“So,” Evie said, and couldn’t help herself. “Want some sex?”
Natalie looked startled.
“Sorry,” Evie said, grinning. “I guess that wasn’t funny.”
“It actually was.”
“You didn’t laugh.”
“Well, no.”
Another silence, although this one was more comfortable. Evie watched the lights of a ferry out on the harbour.
“You know what,” Evie said, after a moment. “I should go.”
“You don’t have to,” Natalie said.
“Yeah I do,” Evie said, and stood up. “We’ll just start fighting or something again if I stay.”
Natalie didn’t answer, which probably meant she didn’t disagree, Evie thought.
“And anyway,” Evie said. “I’m not a sure thing any more, so now you’re going to need to try harder. You might need some time to think about how.”
“Try harder?”
“Yep,” Evie said. She wound her scarf around her neck, and began doing up her coat.
“What do I have to do to try harder?”
“Don’t know. What do you normally do when you want to fuck someone?”
�
��Offer her money?” Natalie said, and then immediately looked worried.
Evie stopped, and looked at her. “Yeah,” she said. “You probably would. And we really have to stop making jokes about that.”
“Sorry.”
“So what I meant,” Evie said. “I suppose, was, what should you do? Not what would you do. What should you do if you were being all polite and shit?”
Natalie just sat there looking helpless, and after a moment Evie realized Natalie actually might not have any idea.
“Ask her to do something with you?” Evie said gently. “Maybe?”
“Yes,” Natalie said. “That.”
“So,” Evie said. “Ask me sometime.”
“Just ask you? You mean, phone you and ask you out?”
“Yep. Exactly that.”
“Oh,” Natalie said.
“It really isn’t that complicated.”
“I suppose not.”
Evie smiled, and went to the door. “Okay, well, bye.”
“Don’t you need a ride?”
“I’m right. I’ll do something in town while I’m here.”
Natalie hesitated, then stood up and walked towards the door. “I’ll drop you off,” she said, and picked up her keys from the kitchen counter as she went past.
“I said I was staying in town.”
“I’ll drop you off in town.”
Evie nodded. After a minute, she said, “Don’t talk, though.”
“Why not?”
“Just don’t.”
“All right.”
“I mean it,” Evie said. “That was a good way to leave things. It was all nice and sorted out and a bit mysterious too. We’ll fuck it up if we actually talk, so don’t talk.”
“I won’t,” Natalie said. “I promise.”
And she didn’t talk, not at all. She went to her car and drove where Evie directed and did it without a word. She glanced over and smiled, occasionally, and nodded when Evie explained where to go. She kissed Evie goodbye in silence, and waved when Evie got out of the car.
“Call me,” Evie said, and Natalie nodded, but still didn’t speak.
Evie was quite impressed by how far Natalie had taken it.
Evie's Job Page 12
