“I should get dressed,” Evie said.
Natalie grinned. “Probably.”
“I should,” Evie said, as if it was in doubt, then wondered if that was a completely odd thing to say. She’d only been naked in the first place because she was showing off for Natalie. She looked around for her clothes, feeling slightly silly, then dressed as quickly as she could. She felt silly until she realized Natalie was watching her get dressed, and until she saw Natalie’s face as Natalie helped with her zip. Natalie wanted her, and that made her feel better. Natalie wanted her, and everything would be fine. Evie tidied up her hair, and Natalie got shoes and keys, and they both seemed to be ready.
“Thank you for this,” Evie said, as they left the apartment. “For somewhere to study.”
“It’s fine,” Natalie said. “I want you to stick around.”
Evie smiled, and they went downstairs.
It was still raining when they got outside, and the roads were shiny and wet. Evie watched the wipers as Natalie drove her home.
*
Evie spent the rest of the weekend studying. Natalie was nearby, but mostly quiet. Every so often she put food or coffee beside Evie, but otherwise she seemed to be working as well. It was nice, Evie thought. It was nice to be around Natalie, and it was nice Natalie wanted her there. Natalie’s apartment was a good place to study it, Evie decided, especially once she realized she could smoke out on the balcony that it turned out Natalie had. Evie managed to finish what she’d wanted to get done by the time Natalie went to bed, and so went with her, mostly for sex. Then she got back up afterwards and read some more until she was too tired to keep going. Then she slept, and thought she was ready.
She slept in the next day. The exam wasn’t until the afternoon, and sleep was more important than extra reading. She slept in, so by the time she woke, Natalie had gone. There was a note beside the bed saying good luck and help herself to what she wanted, and stay as long as was useful, and Natalie would call later. Evie hesitated, because it felt odd to be at Natalie’s when Natalie wasn’t there, then decided Natalie meant what she’d said, and the apartment was quiet, and stayed. She ate breakfast, and read over her notes again, from start to end, and then, because it was almost lunchtime, she went to uni. She read everything again as she did. She kept reading on the bus, trying to memorize as many of the obscure case names as she could, since that seemed to all the examiners ever looked for. She read as she walked onto the campus, and read as she waited outside the lecture theatre the exam was being held in. Her friend Lizzy sat down beside her, but Evie kept reading. Lizzy didn’t feel the same pressure as Evie did, but she knew how Evie got, so she stayed quiet and waited. Evie read until it was time to go into the lecture theatre, then stopped and packed everything away. She’d done all she could.
She followed Lizzy up the rows of seats, and sat down next to her. Next to her but one, with a space between them, which was what the examiner up the front was telling them to do in a bored voice.
Lizzy was sitting there, waiting, slightly fidgety. Evie decided that meant it was all right to talk.
“So I met someone,” Evie said quietly.
“Yep, I know.”
Evie was a little surprised.
“You’ve been around less,” Lizzy said. “And not home. And not answering your phone. So yep, that’s kind of obvious...”
“Oh,” Evie said. “Yeah, okay.”
“So you met someone...?”
“I did.”
“That’s good.”
“I think so. She’s a bit older than me, though.”
“Like a year or two?”
“Um,” Evie said. “Like twenty-seven.”
Lizzy shrugged. “Twenty-seven is nothing, don’t worry about it.”
Evie wondered if she’d somehow done this to herself on subconsciously on purpose. “Um no,” she said. “She’s twenty-seven years older than me.”
Lizzy sat there for a moment, not saying anything.
“Hey,” Evie said. “I just said…”
“Yep, I heard.”
“And…?”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Yep, that’s all.”
“What?” Evie said. “I’m that weird?”
“Not weird, just…”
Evie waited.
“Unusual?” Lizzy said. “Isn’t it?”
“You’re the one saying so.”
“Sorry,” Lizzy said. “I’m sorry. I’m glad, really. I’m glad you found someone.”
“Did I say good sex?” Evie said.
“Nope.”
“It is.”
Lizzy grinned. “Then you should keep her.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“What’s her name?”
Evie shook her head.
“I just want to know what to call her,” Lizzy said.
“Don’t call her anything. Just say whatever you say. I’ll know who you mean.”
“Okay,” Lizzy said. “So is this something new? Or have you before?”
“Is what something new. Her?”
“Her age. Her being older?”
Evie was feeling a little defensive. “Why? Because I’m odd for wanting too?”
“What?” Lizzy said. “No. Just whether you ever have. Whether you’ve thought about it and wanted to before, I suppose. Because anything at all, really. I don’t know. I just wondered if you had.”
“Nope,” Evie said. “I haven’t. But I like her.”
“Good.”
“She just asked me that too.” Evie said, thinking. “I don’t know why.”
“It’s unusual, that’s all. She might be wondering too.”
Evie nodded. “It shouldn’t be. Odd”
“Yep,” Lizzy said, and reached over and squeezed Evie’s hand. “But it is, so…”
“Yeah.”
The examiner began telling them to quieten down, and that the exam would start in few minutes. She started passing exam papers around, but telling them not turn the papers over yet. Evie stopped talking, and started making a list of precedent cases in her head, so she could write them all down as soon as she started. She always did, and it seemed to help her, because halfway through she’d be too tired to remember them all otherwise.
“You can start,” the examiner said, and Evie did. She concentrated on the exam, on writing short essays about obscure case law she’d never use, and worked as steadily and thoroughly as she could. She did all right, she thought. She usually did all right. She wasn’t the best student in the world, and wasn’t going to be the best lawyer, but she could manage if she worked hard. Today, at least, she thought she had.
After the exam a group of people Lizzy knew decided to go for a drink. Evie went too, even though she didn’t really know any of them. Lizzy kept glancing at Evie, grinning sometimes, but not actually saying what she obviously wanted to say. Not while they were in a crowd, Evie assumed. Evie met her glances, and sometimes glared back, trying to make sure that Lizzy kept quiet. She wanted to talk to Lizzy, to let her ask her questions, but wanted to do it when they were on their own. She had planned to, later on, but then Natalie texted Evie to ask how Evie had done, and Evie said good, and Natalie said they should celebrate and Evie said, “Yes, are you finished work?” And even as she texted that, Evie knew it meant she was abandoning Lizzy, but she did it anyway, because she also knew that Lizzy would do it to her.
“I can be,” Natalie answered. “Want to do something?”
“Yep.”
“Now?”
“Yep.”
“I’m on my way,” Natalie sent.
Evie said bye to everyone, and that she had to go. “Sorry,” she said quietly, when Lizzy leaned over to hug her.
“Talk to me later, okay?” Lizzy said, into Evie’s ear.
“I will,” Evie said.
“You’re going to see her, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Have fun.”
Evie gr
inned.
“But talk to me,” Lizzy said. “I want to know everything.”
“I promise,” Evie said, and then went outside to wait for Natalie.
13: Natalie
Natalie was seeing Evie more and more often, far more than she’d expected to, even though things were becoming quite serious between them. Over the next week, they met up each day, usually after work, sometimes for lunch. It was probably more time than either of them could afford, but they did so anyway. They both seemed to want to see each other, rather than think very carefully about work or timetables. Natalie was glad they were. She was glad to be having this, like this, being with Evie, and glad to be feeling things she’d mostly given up expecting to feel ever again.
On the first day, the Monday, after Evie’s exam, Natalie collected Evie from university, slipping away early from work in order to do so. She felt slightly wicked, slightly like she was misbehaving, but she went anyway. She found Evie at the place they had met before, the carpark at the edge of the campus. Evie was smoking, but saw Natalie coming, and threw the cigarette away. She was smiling as she climbed into the car, and kissed Natalie with a smoky mouth. She kissed, then twisted around awkwardly to throw an armload of books and paper onto the back seat. Some of the pile slid, and fell onto the floor, but Evie didn’t seem to care.
“Hey,” Evie said, and kissed Natalie again. “Why aren’t you still at work?”
“I finished early.”
Evie put her seatbelt on. “Are you allowed to do that?”
“I’m a partner.”
“So, what, you get to do whatever you like?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh,” Evie said, and grinned. “And what do you want to do right now?”
Natalie didn’t answer. She was concentrating on driving.
“Is it sex?” Evie said. “That you’d like to do? Maybe?”
“If you want to,” Natalie said, then realized Evie was staring at her. “What?”
“Are you listening?”
“Of course I am.”
“You’re in an odd mood,” Evie said. She was still smiling. She didn’t seem to mind.
“I don’t think so,” Natalie said. “Am I?”
“Um,” Evie said. “Yes. Want some sex?”
Natalie took a moment to realize what she’d missed. “Oh fuck,” she said. “Yes, sorry. Please. Of course I do.”
“Better,” Evie said, grinning.
“Sorry,” Natalie said. “My head’s still at work.”
“I got that.”
“I mean, I might still be a thinking like at work, which might make me…”
“Abrupt?”
Natalie smiled. “Distracted. And you might not be completely used to work me yet either.”
“I’ll get used to it.”
Natalie looked over.
“I will,” Evie said. “Promise.”
“Good.”
“So,” Evie said. “What are we doing to celebrate?”
“You’ll see.”
“Or you could tell me.”
Natalie grinned. “Or you could wait and see.”
Evie looked at Natalie for a moment, and then shrugged, unconcerned. Natalie had a plan, although it wasn’t anything particular, just takeout from somewhere nice and wine because Evie seemed to like food, and then sex afterwards, sex for Evie rather than herself. It wasn’t much, but it would mark the small occasion of the exam, and Natalie hoped Evie would like it.
Evie did, or she seemed to, as far as Natalie could tell. Evie seemed happy enough, once they got to Natalie’s and Natalie had explained. Natalie was pleased, and relieved as well. More relieved than she wanted to admit. She had started worrying in the car, thinking she shouldn’t have mentioned celebrations, and what she’d organized wouldn’t be enough. Evie seemed happy, though, and that pleased Natalie, and then they had sex which made her forget about being anxious.
“I’m easy to please,” Evie said, a lot later. “You shouldn’t worry so much.”
“I wasn’t,” Natalie said, not quite sure why she was denying it.
“Yeah you were.”
Natalie stopped arguing, and rolled over, and kissed Evie instead. Kissed her for understanding, and for noticing, and because it seemed like it was true. Evie was easy to please, and Natalie was glad.
*
On Tuesday lunchtime Natalie phoned Evie, mostly just to hear her voice. She felt a little silly, but did anyway, and was glad she had as soon as Evie answered. It was good to hear Evie, and Evie seemed pleased to hear from Natalie too. She said hi, and asked where Natalie was, and Natalie said court, assuming Evie wouldn’t need to know more, but Evie said, “Which one? Which building?”
“Oh,” Natalie said. “The Supreme Court, in the city.”
“Doing lawyery stuff?”
“I’m instructing,” Natalie said. “If that’s what you mean.”
“Sitting quietly while a barrister argues?” Evie said.
“Yes.”
“Are you? Sitting quietly?”
Natalie smiled. “Yes. And sometimes passing pieces of paper over too.”
“What’s it about,” Evie said. “The case?”
“Tax. Nothing interesting.”
“Maybe I think that is interesting.”
“Maybe that’s exactly why I’m suddenly remembering client confidentiality.”
Evie laughed. “Okay,” she said. “I only just woke up.”
“It’s lunchtime.”
“Yep. So?”
“Nothing,” Natalie said. “Never mind.”
Evie laughed again. “What are you doing?” she said.
“Having lunch.”
“What is it?”
“A muffin.”
“You should eat proper food.”
Natalie sighed. “I know.”
“Are you in the café?” Evie said.
“I am.”
“I’ve never been inside it,” Evie said. “I’ve seen it, but I’ve never been inside.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. It just seemed private, you know? For real lawyers. Not for me yet.”
“It’s a public café.”
“And all the same.”
“Would it help if I was with you?”
“Yep, actually.”
“We’ll go sometime,” Natalie said, then impulsively, “Or now?”
“Now?”
“Yes, if you like,” Natalie said, suddenly hoping to see Evie. “I’m about to go back in, but we’ll be done in an hour or so if you were free then.”
Evie didn’t answer, and Natalie suddenly wondered if that was odd, asking Evie to come into the city just to have coffee in a fairly average café. It probably was, she decided. She was probably being unreasonable. Evie probably had other things that she needed to be doing. “Sorry,” Natalie said. “I mean, just if you can, but you’re probably busy. I completely understand…”
“What?” Evie said. “No, I’ll come.”
“You’re sure? You didn’t sound that interested?”
“I didn’t sound that awake,” Evie said. “I’m half-asleep. In an hour, yeah?
“You don’t have something else you should be doing?”
“I’m on my way,” Evie said. “Asshole. I’m not that busy. Of course I will.” Evie sounded like she was smiling.
“Oh,” Natalie said. “Good.” She started to explain where the cafe was, and Evie said she knew, because of how she walked past the signs every time she was there, and Natalie remembered how law students liked to sit in the back of courtrooms and watch, and decided Evie probably knew her way around the building. “I’ll meet you in the lobby,” she said.
“Yep. In an hour. I’m getting up.”
“I want to see you,” Natalie said. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too,” Evie said, and yawned, obviously, and then hung up.
Evie was on time, but Natalie was slightly late. And slightly later f
or waiting outside the courtroom until she was certain everyone involved in her case had left. She waited, feeling bad, but doing so anyway. Evie was sitting on bench near the court building’s main doors, waiting, reading something on a laptop. Natalie walked up to her and said, “Hi.”
Evie jumped, then smiled, and then quickly stood up. She took a step towards Natalie, then stopped, as if unsure. They were in the lobby of the court building, right next to the front doors, and Evie was looking at Natalie like she desperately wanted to kiss her. Evie wanted to, but wasn’t, so Natalie did instead. She kissed, and Evie seemed surprised, and then kissed her back.
Natalie suddenly wasn’t sure that hadn’t been a little too public.
“It’s this way,” she said, and went towards the café. They walked down a corridor, past portraits of judges.
“Do you know him?” Evie asked, looking at one.
Natalie wasn’t sure why Evie asked. She glanced at the portrait. It was a justice from the 1950s. “Um, no.”
“Her?”
“No.”
A moment later. “Him?”
Natalie looked at the plaque on the portrait. “He died in 1898.”
“Yep,” Evie said, grinning. “But did you meet him before he died?”
Natalie just looked at her, and didn’t answer, and wondered if Evie had planned that. After a moment Evie laughed, which probably meant yes.
They went into the café, and stood at the back of a short queue, waiting to order. Evie looked around, curiously. Because she’d never dared come in here before, Natalie assumed. It was actually quite charming. Evie saw her watching, and began to reach for Natalie’s hand, and then seemed to realize what she was doing and stopped.
“Um,” Evie said, quietly. “Don’t you know people here?”
“I do tax. Why would I know people here?”
“You’re here right now…”
“Sitting quietly while barristers argue,” Natalie said. “Remember? And only very occasionally.”
“Other people you know might be here too?”
“Not right now,” Natalie said.
“You’re sure?”
“I am. And Evie, even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t care.”
“Oh,” Evie said, and reached over and took Natalie’s hand. She seemed pleased, and held it while they ordered. They ate, and talked about nothing, and that was nice too.
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