He nodded. “Yes. Is there a pool too? I swim as well.”
“Yes, we do. It has a hot tub, and we have a sauna too.”
I rolled my eyes as I realized she was wanting to get hot and sweaty with Jude. Of course, who could blame her. I wondered if I should tell her that he was good at hot and sweaty, but not to expect him to be there if she ever needed him.
“We also have a little playground if you have children.” She looked at me, but I didn’t respond. Jude didn’t say anything about it either, which proved that he’d forgotten he had a kid or didn’t care.
We followed her out of the leasing office and down walkway toward the end of the building. As we walked, she chatted about what was included and not included in the rent, but I wasn’t able to take it in. I was preoccupied by the fact that Jude was here. What were the odds that I’d run into him again? It was like God was playing a cruel joke on me. Maybe it was a sign that this was a bad idea.
But I couldn’t back out now. I’d see the apartment but not make any decision until I knew where Jude would end up. I needed to get out from under August’s control, but I didn’t want to do it in a place that Jude would be around. Whatever place I found for me and Maya needed to be away from them both.
7
Jude
Fate was totally fucking with me. Bismarck wasn’t so small that I should be running into April like this. Not when I finally decided it was time to let her go once and for all. Seriously, if we were meant to be, she wouldn’t have dumped my ass eight years ago. Or, when we saw each other again at the restaurant, it would have been like a scene from a romantic movie in which we confessed our love and lived happily ever after.
Instead, April acted indifferent to me at best, annoyed at the worst, which made no sense since she was the one who broke things off with me. Either way, I doubted she was having sexy dreams about me and wondering if maybe we could try again. Nope, that was my dumbass heart.
But didn’t I just decide that my heart was holding on to something that had died years ago? Yes, I did. So why was fate putting this beautiful woman in my path again? I was here to move forward with my future and put my past behind me. How could I do that with April here?
The minute I walked into the leasing office, the air changed in that way it always had when April was around. This time, because I was committed to forging ahead with my life, I wasn’t going to acknowledge it. I put on my war face and tried to pretend she was just another person looking to rent an apartment. Of course, that was easier said than done because her scent was intoxicating. She wore her hair down, and it hung in long luscious waves that my hands itched to touch. Just in case they had minds of their own, I shoved them into my pockets and focused on the leasing lady.
The leasing lady’s gaze inventoried my body and she made a few comments about working out and saunas that I knew were code for “I want to fuck you.” I wondered what April thought about that? Did she care that another woman was openly apprising me and liking what she saw? The woman was attractive and there was a time I might have taken her up on her implied offer. Before April, I’d dated a few girls that I’d fucked. I liked them, but it wasn’t until April that I understood what it meant to be in love. Or at least I thought I did. Perhaps I was just young and naïve. After April, I tried to move on, dating occasionally, but not really feeling a connection to them like I had with April. Eventually, I gave up looking for love. Except for an occasional hookup, my sex life consisted mostly of my hand in the shower. Although April and I were clearly done, it didn’t feel right to consider a hookup with the leasing lady, especially since the only woman my dick wanted to be inside was April. Again, fate was being such a jerk to me.
Pushing away thoughts of sex, I walked with April and the leasing woman down to an end unit. The leasing woman chatted away although I wasn’t sure what the hell she was saying because April’s scent wafted behind her, making me drunk with longing.
“Here is the two-bedroom unit,” the woman said, opening the door.
I wondered why April needed two bedrooms. Were she and August having financial troubles and moving? Did she have a significant other and needed extra space? I had to bite back a growl at that idea. Maybe she was going to have a roommate. I wondered if she was still friends with Petal.
“As you can see, its layout makes it quite spacious,” the woman said, turning on the light.
She was right. The entry walked into a hall. To the left was a galley kitchen and dining area at the far end of it. The hall opened into a decent sized living area, with French doors to a large patio that looked out over a grassy area.
The leasing agent’s phone beeped. “Excuse me, I need to check this. You two can look over the place and then I’ll show you the one-bedroom,” she said, motioning that she was going to stand outside.
I followed April up the hall, passing a fair amount of storage in a wall of closets. Across from them were the doors to two bedrooms. I waited outside one as April walked in, looked around and came back out. She went to the next room, which from the doorway looked larger and was likely the master. At the end of the hall was a guest back.
“Why do you need two bedrooms?” I asked, unable to stop myself. I was practically crossing my fingers hoping she didn’t have a boyfriend or fiancé or fuck…a husband.
A slight tinge of pink came to her cheeks. Immediately, I was back eight years ago and loving how her cheeks blushed when I expressed my lust for her.
“I need a home office,” she said, turning away from me and checking the bathtub in the guest bath. “I’m making a career change.”
“Oh? How’s that?” I leaned a shoulder against the wall, with my hands still safely in my pockets.
“I just quit my job and am trying to determine my next move.”
Like the universe was talking to me, I immediately thought of Mr. Lassen’s comment about having someone up front at the office.
“What do you do? As a profession?” I asked.
“My degree is in business administration and accounting—”
“Accounting? Like August.” Jesus, did she follow in his footsteps? How depressing. Not that accounting was a bad thing, but it wasn’t what April had planned to do. At least I didn’t think so. One of the things I’d loved about her was how open she was to life. She was curious about everything. She couldn’t ever answer the question about what she wanted to major in in college because she didn’t know.
“I want to take a class in every subject and see what speaks to me,” she’d say.
I remembered one time after we’d made love, we lay naked in bed and went through her college catalog where she told me about all the classes she wanted to take. Italian. Folklore. Women’s Studies. Criminology. Child Development. Dance. I’d suggested human sexuality, but she informed me she was taking that now, and then she blew my brains out with a blow job.
What I didn’t remember was her expressing any interest in business or accounting.
She nodded. “I wanted to study something practical. That I knew I could use to support myself.”
I frowned as I got the feeling that her answer was practiced. I wondered if August had forced her into giving up her desire to study as many different things as she could, and instead get a practical degree. It sounded like something he’d do. August had always been one for order and pragmatism. He’d taken it to the nth degree when he told me that I wasn’t good enough for April. From a practical standpoint, he was probably right. I didn’t have a career that was always steady or paid well. Construction was often at the whim of weather and the economy. But I loved her with everything I had. I couldn’t imagine anyone loving her as much as I did. Hell, I left her to improve my financial prospects simply so I’d have something to offer her.
I shook my head of thoughts of the past and focused on her. “Do you work at your dad’s firm?”
“I did. I quit.” There was a determination and fire in her eyes at that statement. It couldn’t have been easy to walk away from he
r father’s firm. From August. I wondered what had happened to make her want to leave.
I also wondered how desperate she was for a job. Would she take one from me?
“You know, this might not fit with what you do, but Cyrus and I just opened our new office today and we need an office manager.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you offering me a job?”
“It’s yours if you want it.” Inwardly, I questioned what I was doing. I had no clue about her qualifications or experience. All I had to go on was the woman I’d known before, who was smart and conscientious. At the same time, I couldn’t stop the ridiculous longing for her to take my offer. I was supposed to be getting her out of my system.
“I’d need to know more about it,” she said. That wasn’t a no.
“Yes, of course. I can give you all the details. Are you free for dinner tonight?” Holy shit, was I asking her on a date?
Her eyes widened in surprise, that matched my own, but she didn’t say anything.
“So, what do you think?” the leasing manager interrupted us. “It’s clean and spacious, don’t you think?
“Can we look at the one bedroom now?” April asked.
“Yes, of course. This one doesn’t work?”
“It’s very nice, but like Ju…” She stopped herself and simply nodded toward me. I wondered why she didn’t want to say my name. Or maybe she didn’t want the leasing lady to know we knew each other. My brain went to all sorts of crazy ideas about that. Maybe she didn’t want the leasing woman to tell her boyfriend that her ex was here. Jesus, I was going around the bend.
“Like him, I’d like to see the one bedroom,” April finished.
The leasing woman led us out and up the stairs to a unit almost directly above the two bedroom one. Wouldn’t it be something if she and I were neighbors of sorts? Then again, if she did have a boyfriend, I didn’t want to have to see it.
“The one bedroom is similar to the two-bedroom place in the kitchen and living room layout. It only has one bath though.”
We toured the one bedroom, which I knew would suit me fine. The leasing woman stayed with us, so I didn’t have a chance to talk privately with April. After viewing the unit, we all walked back to the leasing office.
“So, was there one you liked?” she asked April and me.
“I need to think about it,” April said.
“Yes of course. Let me give you some information.” The woman pulled out a folder and opened it. “In here we have our brochures, apartment layouts, pricing sheet, and information about amenities.” She shut it and handed it to April along with her card. “If you have any questions or want to look at the apartments again, let me know.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.” April turned to leave.
The leasing woman turned to me. “What about you?”
“I’m ready to take the one bedroom,” I said, torn between taking care of this and following April out.
The woman smiled in a way that suggested she wasn’t just happy to have a sale, but also that I might expect visits from her now and then. “Have a seat and I’ll get the lease agreement out.”
“I’m going to sign, but can you give me a minute?” I didn’t wait for an answer as I hurried out the door to catch up with April. “April.”
She stopped and turned, her eyes surprised and wary. I wondered what the wariness was about.
“You didn’t answer me about dinner.” I hated how desperate I sounded.
She bit her lip, and I was sure she was going to say no. “Okay. Mangione’s? Seven?”
I’m sure my smile looked ridiculous. “I’ll be there.”
She gave me a nod and then turned to leave. I watched her, my heart filling. There was no fucking way I was going to rid her from me, I realized. A part of her would always be with me. The question was, how did she feel? Was she just looking for a job? Or maybe some part of me was with her too? Tonight, I was determined to find out.
8
April
I was going mad. That was the only way to describe why I was even considering a job from Jude. And yet, when I wanted to say no, I’d agreed to see him for dinner to discuss the job. Crazy.
I left the leasing office wondering if I’d lost my mind. I’d already decided I couldn’t take the two-bedroom apartment, even though I’d wanted to. Since Jude was ready to sign a lease, I couldn’t live there. And yet, I was going to consider a job from him? Seriously, what was wrong with my thinking?
A job was a professional situation, I told myself. We could work together, and that would be it. I’d see him at work, do a job, and then go home, somewhere else so that our personal lives wouldn’t intersect. See, it made total sense. Maybe if I kept thinking that, I’d believe it.
The truth was, seeing Jude was hard. It brought back all those old feelings of love and a longing to have what we’d one had. I wished I could get the fairy tale wishes of a young girl out of my brain, but seeing him took back to that time when I was happy and felt loved.
Because all those old emotions were messing with my mind, I needed to cancel dinner with Jude. The only problem was, I didn’t get his number or even his business’ name. So, I’d go to the meeting, hear him out, and then I’d turn down the job. Yes, that’s what I’d do.
Except I needed a job. If I couldn’t take Jude’s I needed to look for another one. I still had an hour before I needed to pick up Maya at day camp, so I went to a coffee café, got a large mocha, and looked up current job openings on my phone. There were a few that might be interesting, but I worried they didn’t pay as well as the job I had with August.
I shook my head as resentment boiled over when thinking of August and my work. I shouldn’t even be considered an employee. Dad’s firm was as much mine as August’s. I should be a partner. I didn’t mind the work I did for the firm. I minded that I was treated like I wasn’t important.
With a few minutes left before I had to get Maya, I called my friend Petal and asked if she’d be able to watch Maya tonight while I was out. She agreed, as always. She really was a great friend.
That afternoon, I picked up Maya at day camp, rushed home and cleaned us both up, and was out of the house before August returned. It took me a little longer than I’d planned to decide what to wear. It was a job interview, but it was also dinner. Did I dress professionally? Or did I want to dress in a way that made Jude rue the day he abandoned me?
I shook my head. This was no time to be petty. I had Maya to think about. So, I opted for professional. Once I was dressed, I checked on Maya, who’d put on shorts and a tee-shirt with Petal’s bakery’s logo on it.
“Maybe I can work for her today. Sometimes she lets me help the customers,” Maya said.
I smiled, loving how little things could make her day. “I think Petal will be closed when we get there, but I know she’ll have something fun for you.” I pulled her hair back into a ponytail in case Petal’s activities included baking.
“Where are you going tonight, mama?” Maya asked.
“I have a business meeting, baby.” I didn’t feel the need to let her know I was about to upend her life. Not until I knew for sure what I was doing.
“Will uncle Auggie be there?”
“No. This is just me.” It hit me that I was leaving my daughter to go meet with her father. A father she didn’t know about. And he didn’t know about her. But that was his fault. But Maya…I hated that she wouldn’t know Jude. At least not the Jude I’d loved eight years ago. This Jude, I didn’t know. The man that could ignore and abandon his pregnant girlfriend didn’t deserve a beautiful child like Maya.
I loaded Maya up in the car and drove us back towards the town center. Petal was just closing up her bakery when we arrived. She had a cute little place above her shop that was made all the better because it always smelled like cupcakes from the scents of the bakery below. In her apartment, she had a toy bakery set for Maya to play with. Since I still had some time before meeting Jude, I sat with Petal and had a glass of wine
.
“Thank you so much for watching Maya last minute like this,” I said, as Maya pretended to take an order for cupcakes at her playset.
“Are you kidding me? I love hanging with that sweetie.” She turned her attention to me. “So, what’s up? What do you have going on tonight? You look like you're going to an insurance conference or something.”
I looked down at my staid outfit. It wasn’t much different from what I was wearing earlier; a business skirt with tailored coat, and a filmy white blouse. I put my hair up feeling like it made me look older and more experienced.
“It's a business meeting of sorts.”
Petal quirked a brow. “Of sorts?”
I covered my face as I admitted the truth. “I’m having dinner with Jude.”
Petal did a spit take, reaching for a tissue from the box on her coffee table. “Jude Mason?” She wiped her chin.
I nodded. “I ran into him on Friday when I was covering that shift at the restaurant and then today again when I was looking at apartments. He offered me a job, hence the business clothes.”
“Wait, what? You’re looking at apartments? And, you have a job plus the work you do for my business. Why are you looking at another job?”
“I quit today.” I took a long swig of my wine as the ramifications of that hit me.
She gaped at me. “Really, April, you really should have warned me before you started saying how you’d totally upended your life. I don’t even know where to start.”
“I quit because I was tired of August dismissing me and being so condescending all the time. I couldn’t take it anymore. And once I was out of the office, I knew I needed to be out of the house too, so I went to look for a place for me and Maya.”
“I suppose that’s not so crazy. It’s not like you haven’t been talking about getting out from under him. What’s the deal with dinner tonight?” She tucked a strand of her long red hair behind her ear and settled in to listen.
Eight Long Years: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance (Heart of Hope Book 5) Page 5
