I sucked in a breath. “I don’t want to, Petal, but I don’t see any other choice.” Not if I wanted to protect Jude. I cared for him and I wanted him to succeed. I didn’t want to make that harder for him. So the best answer was to let him go.
23
Jude
When I arrived back at work, April wasn’t there. My gut clenched in concern that she’d done something stupid, like confronted August. When I checked with Cyrus, he said she took the rest of the day off. I texted her to make sure she was okay.
She indicated she was at Petal’s, which was a relief. Because I intended to fight for her and Maya, I knew I needed to get my head in the game at work. I couldn’t let August fuck things up for me and Cyrus, so I focused on the job for the rest of the day. We had clients, but weren’t yet at full capacity to make the business a success. At this point, I didn’t think building a successful business would change August’s mind about me and April, but the more solid the business was, the harder it would be for him to cause us problems. At least, that’s what I hoped.
When I finished, I messaged April again saying I wanted to see her and Maya. She responded that she and Maya were tired, so they were staying in and going to bed early. I stared at the text wondering what that meant. Did I take it at face value? Normally, I would, but today, things hadn’t been normal. She’d already started withdrawing from me after seeing August for brunch. Was this her way of easing out of my life. Fuck that!
I was on my way to Petal’s when I reconsidered. April was in between the proverbial rock and a hard place. I wanted her, but I also knew that she wasn’t going to walk away from August. If I was going to win her, I couldn’t play tug of war with him, using her and Maya as the rope. She’d been working on getting out from under him, and I’d made that harder. So perhaps my best move was to give her space. For her to stand up to August on her own without pressure from me.
That night I didn’t sleep well wondering if I’d made the wrong choice. She could take the time to build her personal power and tell August to take a hike, but it was just as possible that she’d decide it was better to tell me to take a hike. Of course, I’d never be truly gone. No one, not April, not August, not anyone would keep me from Maya.
The next day, I walked in expecting April to be at her desk and when she wasn’t, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Like she was choosing August over me.
Where was she?
I headed to Cyrus’ office.
“Hey, Jude. I’ve been through your report for Mr. Lassen. I think you hit all the salient points. We should arrange to meet him.”
I leaned against the door jamb of his office. “Sounds good. Do you know where April is?”
Cyrus sighed and I knew this wasn’t going to be good. He picked up an envelope and handed it to me. “She was in earlier. She left this.”
Fuck. Another letter telling me to take a hike?
“What is it?” I pulled the single sheet from the envelope.
“It’s her resignation.”
“Fuck!” I read over the letter. It was professional. There was no talk about August being a fucking asshole. No discussion of her relationship with me. No mention of what was best for Maya. Just gratitude at being afforded the opportunity to work for us. Then she said how she was sure we’d be a success. It was all such bullshit.
I remembered what August had done, and for a minute, I wondered if this was his doing. But this was hand written and Cyrus said she’d delivered it personally.
I crumpled it up and walked out.
“Jude!” Cyrus called.
I stopped because he was my business partner and I couldn’t go off half-cocked with his life on the line too.
“What are you going to do?” he asked standing and coming around his desk.
“I’m going to get April.”
“And her brother’s threat to ruin you?”
I put my hands on my hips and looked down for a moment. Then I looked Cyrus in the eyes. “He can try, but I’m not without leverage. August is known in town, but not necessarily liked and respected. Me, I’ve been gone, but the only bridge I burned when I left was with August.”
Cyrus studied me for a moment. “Okay.” It was heady how much trust he was giving me.
“And if I’m wrong, I’ll give you all my assets and whatever else I can give to make it right, Cy. But I can’t lose her again. I just fucking can’t.”
He nodded. “Then you should go get her.”
I made a b-line straight to Petal’s thinking she’d better be there. Of course, if she’d gone back to the house or to work for her brother, I’d go there. I didn’t give a shit if August threw a fit at my showing up.
I jerked open the door to the bakery.
Petal’s head snapped up and she smiled. “I knew you’d be here. She’s upstairs. Maya is at summer camp. So, you have her to yourself.”
I stared at her. “It’s nice to have someone on my side.”
“I’m on April’s side, Jude. But I know you are too.”
I walked into the back and to the stairs that led up to the second-floor apartment. I knocked, but was prepared to bust the door down if necessary. God, I hoped I didn’t end up in jail for disorderly conduct or kicking August’s ass before this was all said and done.
April opened the door. My breath hitched like I was seeing an oasis after a long drought, even though it had only been a day since I’d seen her. But then I noted the dark circles under her eyes, and how sad she appeared.
I was about to pull her into my arms, but she stepped back. “What are you doing here, Jude?”
That stopped me short. “I tore up your resignation.”
She sighed wearily. “It doesn’t change anything. I can’t work for you.” She left me at the door and went to the couch, sinking down like all the air had left her. I hated seeing her like that.
“What happened, April. What happened to you setting your own course in life?” I shut the door behind me and went to sit across from her in a plush chair.
“You know what happened. August.”
I shook my head. “We can’t let him derail us again, April.”
“It’s not that easy—”
“Bullshit!”
She flinched at my outburst and I inhaled a steadying breath.
“I know August is your brother and you love him. I know that he has looked out for you, but he’s also manipulated and betrayed you, April. You’ve been trying to break from him. If you give in now, you’ll never break free.”
“So, I’m supposed to go from one man telling me what to do and controlling my livelihood to another?”
I jerked back. “What the fuck, April? I’m not telling you want to do. I’m not controlling—”
“You’re telling me to stand up to August. You’re my boss.”
“You resigned, remember?” I was a fucking idiot to remind her of that. “I don’t want to control you, April.” I wasn’t sure what to think about her statement. Maybe she did need time to stand on her own without August or me.
“The point is, August won’t give up. He’ll do what he can to hurt your business. He wants to destroy you.”
I looked her directly in the eyes. “Because one time wasn’t enough.”
She cocked her head like she didn’t get my meaning.
“August destroyed me when he sent that forged letter from you. The only way he can destroy me again, is by taking you from me. I won’t let it happen if I can stop it.”
Her breath hitched and tears came to her eyes. “But your business.”
“You and Maya are more important than my business.”
“What about Cyrus? It would hurt him too.”
“I’ve made peace with Cyrus on the potential that things could go sideways. He’s okay with that. But April, August isn’t God. Don’t underestimate me and my ability to influence people in this town.”
I swore I could see a tug-of-war in her eyes. Taking a chance, I moved to sit next to her on the cou
ch.
“The only thing that matters to me is you and Maya. You have to decide what matters to you. But if you’re resigning and pushing me away to protect me from August, you have to stop. When you do that, you give into him. He wins.”
“I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“He only hurts me if it costs me you, April. Don’t you understand?” I pushed her hair out of her face and then gazed into her eyes, wanting to make sure she knew I was sincere. That I was speaking from my heart. From my soul. “I love you.”
24
April
My heart was expanding and cartwheeling in my chest as his words wrapped around me and for the first time in eight years, I felt safe and truly loved. It was a false sense of security, but one I wanted to latch onto. If only August wasn’t so hardheaded.
“Jude.” It was the only thing I could say. I flung my arms around him, and held him never wanting to let go. I hadn’t wanted to write that resignation letter, but I couldn’t see any other choice if I wanted to get August off Jude’s back. I did it to protect Jude, he was right about that. I still wanted to protect him, which meant I’d need to figure out how to avoid giving in completely, which was hard because he said he loved me and his arms were holding me, and he was whispering such lovely things to me.
“I’m not letting you go, April. This time we win. I love you, baby.”
My mind immediately went back to the first time he’d told me he’d loved me. We’d been out under the stars drinking wine. At that time, I’d said it back to him, but for some reason, the words stuck in my throat. Oh, I felt them. I felt them deep in my soul. But because I did love him, I couldn’t let him throw away his business, his friend’s business, on me.
The best I could do would be to show him how much I loved him. I pulled my head back, and sought his mouth with my lips, cranking the heat up to high. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to feel him, physically, emotionally. I wanted one last time with him.
Yes, I was going to appease August, but I was going to do it on my terms. I was going to become Chief Operating Officer of my dad’s business. I was going to get control on my part of the trust. I was going to make August leave the house to get his own life, while Maya and I lived in my parents’ home.
I pushed all those plans aside, and instead immersed myself into Jude. His scent. The hard lines of his chest. I straddled him, sliding my cleft over the steel length of his cock making him groan.
“Touch me, April. I fucking need you to touch me.”
His words made my blood heat to scorching. My heart swelled beyond its limits and then broke. Why couldn’t I have this man and my life? Why did August hate me that he’d make it his life’s mission to ruin my happiness?
Our hands were a flurry of movement as we undressed. I gripped his dick, and sank over him.
“Oh fuck!” he yelled as I took him deep inside me. “Slow it down, baby…Jesus, fuck…” His hands cradled my face, and he kissed me. The kiss started hot and crazed, like I was feeling, but he brought it down by slow degrees, until it was drugging and all I could do was hold on to him as I drowned in his love.
His lips left mine, trailing a path along my jaw and down my neck, where he lightly sucked. He dragged his tongue along my collar bone.
“You’re mine,” he murmured as his lips traveled downward. “I’m yours.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry. His mouth wrapped around my nipple, gently sucking, and all thoughts except of Jude left. My pussy responded, pulsing around him.
We kissed and touched and loved, and it was nearly perfect.
“Come on me,” he whispered, as his fingers found my clit, rubbing it until I was gasping. I rode him, seeking my release, knowing he was watching me. Knowing it gave him pleasure to give me pleasure.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, April.”
I hit the threshold and then leapt as pleasure consumed me.
“Yes, baby…come…come on me,” he said, his voice strained as he held himself back. I moved, rocking over him until I came down.
He maneuvered us until I was laying on the couch, and he was over me, looking down intently into my eyes. He started to move, in and out, slowly, watching me as he started me back up the ascent.
“This time we come together,” he said, lifting my thigh higher so he could sink deeper inside me.
I gripped his shoulders.
“From now on, April, we do everything together,” he said on a harsh whisper.
I wanted that. I wanted to do everything with him. Forever. I wished I had his faith that August wouldn’t hurt him or us. But I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t let August hurt him. I couldn’t deal with the resentment Jude would grow to have for me if August did succeed in hurting him.
I sought his mouth with mine, wanting to complete the connection, wanting to immerse myself in him one last time. I let go of my worries and pain, and let myself be fully present. Feeling the slide of him filling me, the warmth of his breath on my cheek as his need ramped up, the grip of his fingers on my hips as he held me to him.
“April.” His voice was hoarse, desperate. In it I heard love and desire. “Come, April.”
I wanted to. I was there, teetering on the edge, but not ready to go over because once I did, it would be over. I wanted to stay here, hanging in this exquisite torture. His body a part of me.
He tilted my hips and plunged in, grinding, hitting my most erotic spots inside and out, and I couldn’t help but soar. My orgasm overcame me in a rush, flowing out to every neuron in my body.
“Yes,” he cried out, thrust and grinding again as his warm essence filled me. Together we moved, rocking, sliding together, until the last echoes of our release subsided.
For a moment longer, I lay with him inside me, savoring the only man I’d ever loved. The only one I would ever love. I closed my eyes as I gathered strength to do what needed to be done.
“We need to get dressed,” I said, gently pushing him away.
His eyes stared at me in concern.
“Petal might come check on us,” I said by way of explanation.
He gave a quick nod and withdrew from me. I wanted to cry out and hold him to me. To never let him go. We rose and got dressed.
He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “Are you okay?”
I managed a smile. “Yes. I just don’t want to get caught by Petal.” I looked at my watch. “I need to pick up Maya soon.”
“I want to come with you. We can spend the evening together.”
I looked into his crystal blue eyes, seeing everything I’d ever wanted in them; us as a family, and yet I knew it couldn’t be. August would do whatever he could to ruin it.
“Maybe you and her can spend the evening together,” I suggested, wanting to complete my mission quickly. Drawing it out was too painful.
He frowned. “Where will you be?”
“I have a few things to take care of.”
He studied me. “You know I love you, right?” He must have had a sense that I was moving away from him again. I realized I was being an idiot to think I’d just waltz out and live my life separate from him and him not doing anything about it. I’d have to meet this moment head on. Be clear that we couldn’t stay together.
“Love isn’t always enough. We’ve already learned that, haven’t we?”
His jaw tightened and he released me. “You don’t love me.”
My heart cried out that he’d think that. “I didn’t say that.”
“No. You didn’t say that you did either.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jude. August—”
“Fuck August. He’s not the center of the universe. Jesus, are you going to bow to him forever? Let him run your life? What do you want, April? If it’s not me, fine, but grow a fucking back bone and stand up to him.”
My eyes narrowed in anger, even though I knew a part of him was right. I’d been kowtowing to August forever. “He’ll ruin your business.”
&nb
sp; “I don’t need you to protect me from August. I need you to make up your mind about what you want from me if anything.”
I looked down. “I need you to be Maya’s father.”
His jaw tightened. “That’s it?”
Inside I was dying a slow death, but I nodded.
He looked away for a moment, I’m sure trying to figure out his next move. He must have decided he didn’t have one. “I wish you’d told me before you fucked me and gave me hope that we could be a family.”
I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I wanted to rush to him and take everything back. To tell him we could be a family.
“I can bring Maya over to your place if you want. She can spend the evening with you,” I said instead.
He gave me a hard, withering stare. “I’d like that.”
“Good. Okay. In an hour?”
He nodded.
Unable to endure his disdain any longer, I rushed out.
“Everything okay?” Petal asked as I hurried toward the bakery exit.
I didn’t answer.
25
Jude
Jesus fucking Christ. I stood in the middle of Petal’s small apartment alone. April had just given me goodbye sex and expected me to go along with it. And, I was beginning to think I would. I was sick and tired of being the only one trying to salvage what we’d lost. I’d wanted to regain her love before I knew about Maya, but now that I did know we had a daughter, I’d wanted it all. April, Maya, a family. But clearly, April didn’t.
I stalked out of the apartment, and instead of going through the main part of the bakery to exit, I left through the back door off the kitchen. I didn’t want to see Petal.
The good news, I supposed, was that April planned to bring Maya to visit with me. At least she wasn’t trying to get in the way of me spending time with my daughter. I realized I didn’t have a lot of food or toys, so I ran out to pick some up. I did a quick Google search for home made science experiments too since she enjoyed science.
Eight Long Years: A Second Chance Secret Baby Romance (Heart of Hope Book 5) Page 14
