by Plautus
SYRA
apart . I’ll go meet her on a sudden, that she mayn’t find out that I’ve been loitering.
DORIPPA
In this matter I shan’t believe my son, who’s acting in compliance with his father; for, for him, like a regular cuckoo, has he determined to tell abundance of lies: for my own part I shall believe the Cook, in preference. But see, here’s Syra. How the old witch does run. Syra!
SYRA
Who’s calling me? Stares around her.
DORIPPA
The Gods send a plague upon you!
SYRA
Mistress, if you are wise, bestow this upon your rival and your husband in preference.
DORIPPA
For saying that, I’m no longer angry with you. But where’s your father? Why does he delay? Does gout hinder the man?
SYRA
He’s lame with neither gout nor chalk-stones, whom his feet carry into the country.
DORIPPA
Not at home?
SYRA
No.
DORIPPA
Where then?
SYRA
They say he’s in the country, and that it’s uncertain whether he’ll return to-day, he has such a large account with his bailiff.
DORIPPA
Everything is befalling me this day contrary to my wishes. I shan’t live till the evening, unless I drive that hussy away from the house. She turns to the door. I’m going home.
LYCISSA
apart . The mistress is going away.
PERISTRATA
apart . What, going away? Call her.
LYCISSA
calling . Dorippa! Dorippa!
DORIPPA
turning round . What nuisance is this? Who’s calling me back?
PERISTRATA
I’m not a nuisance, but a well-wisher; and it’s your friend Peristrata addresses you. Prithee, do stay.
DORIPPA
Why, Peristrata — i’ faith, I didn’t know you: dreadful vexation is tormenting and agitating me.
PERISTRATA
This I enquire about — prithee don’t deny me. I heard you just now; tell me what annoyance is troubling you.
DORIPPA
Peristrata, so may the Gods prosper your only son, do kindly lend me your attention; none could be given me more agreably: our ages are alike; together we grew up; we have husbands alike in age; with no one do I converse with greater pleasure. I’m really annoyed with good reason. What now would your feelings be, if at this time of life your husband Demipho were to bring a mistress before your eyes?
PERISTRATA
Has he brought one?
DORIPPA
So it is.
PERISTRATA
She’s at your house?
DORIPPA
At my house; aye, and cooks were hired; a banquet was being prepared, if my coming hadn’t upset everything. Venus and Cupid are tormenting the wretched old fellow at an unseasonable time.
PERISTRATA
But these things are trifles, Dorippa. I wish that I wasn’t more wretched.
DORIPPA
Trifles?
PERISTRATA
Really trifles.
DORIPPA
What worse could your husband do?
PERISTRATA
Aye, worse than worse.
DORIPPA
What is it? Prithee do say. As you to me, so I to you, let’s give advice to each other what needs to be done, It’s an old saying, that, “he’s truly wise who is wise at the risk of another.”
PERISTRATA
Dorippa, I have an only son; do you know that?
DORIPPA
I do know it.
PERISTRATA
Him his father some time ago packed off from his own house to Rhodes.
DORIPPA
For what reason?
PERISTRATA
Because he was in love.
DORIPPA
For that very thing?
PERISTRATA
Yes, and the very same thing now as well — inasmuch as he had brought a female slave here, his father coming to know of it, took her away, and put her up for sale.
DORIPPA
Aye, aye, I know it; my son told me the truth. I fancied she was the mistress of my husband. To whom was she entrusted?
PERISTRATA
To a certain old gentleman in this neighbourhood, his friend. I think that he has no other friend here except your husband.
DORIPPA
aside . It certainly is she. To PERISTRATA. What does your son?
PERISTRATA
He declares that he’ll leave this city.
DORIPPA
The matter’s in a safe position. What if he finds her?
PERISTRATA
I imagine he’ll stay.
DORIPPA
Beyond expectation we are saved; don’t doubt it; she’s at my house.
PERISTRATA
At your house? It was she, I suppose, about whom I heard you talking just now.
DORIPPA
It was she.
PERISTRATA
O well done; I love you with reason; you’ve restored me my son. Do let me see her.
DORIPPA
Let’s go in-doors then.
PERISTRATA
Let’s go. Turning round. Come here, Lycissa. Do you go tell these things to Acanthio. I’ll go here to Dorippa’s house. Exit LYCISSA. DORIPPA, PERISTRATA, and SYRA go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.
ACT V.
Enter CHARINUS, from the house of DEMIPHO, in a travelling habit.
CHARINUS
looking towards the door . O higher and lower portions of the threshold, now both of you farewell. This day for the last time do I raise this foot within my father’s house. The ease, the enjoyment, the in-dwelling, the habitation of this house is henceforth for me cut off, destroyed, and alienated. I am undone! The household Gods of my parents, the Lar the father of the family, to you do I recommend, that you will kindly protect the possessions of my parents. I shall now seek other household Gods for myself, another Lar, another city, another state. The people of Attica I do detest; for where worse manners are on the increase every day, where, those who are friends, those who are faithless, you are not able, to distinguish, and where that is torn away from you, which especially pleases your taste, there, in fact, if a kingdom were given one, that country is not desirable. Stands aside in deep thought.
Enter EUTYCUHS, from the house of LYSIMACHUS, at a distance.
EUTYCHUS
to himself . Thou who art the overlooker of Gods and of men, and the mistress of mortals as well, inasmuch as thou hast indulged me in this hope that I entertained, I do return thee thanks. What Deity is there now that is joyous with gladness like mine? That was at home which I was in search of. There did I find six companions, life, friendship, my native land, festivity, mirth, and jollity. On finding these, at the same moment did I utterly destroy ten very bad things, wrath, hatred, folly, ruin, perverseness, grief, tears, exile, want, and loneliness. Ye Gods, I pray you grant me a speedy opportunity of meeting him.
CHARINUS
to himself, not seeing EUTYCHUS . I’m ready prepared, as you see. Pride I cast aside; I’m my own companion, attendant, horse, groom, esquire; I’m my own master, I, too, obey myself; for my own self do I carry what I require. O Cupid! how powerful art thou. For easily dost thou render any one resolute through thy deeds, and then again, the same person diffident forthwith from being over bold.
EUTYCHUS
to himself . I’m thinking which way to run in search of him.
CHARINUS
continuing . The matter’s resolved upon, that I’ll seek her everywhere, wherever in the world she has been carried off from hence; and neither shall any river stand in my way, nor mountain, nor the sea, indeed, nor heat, nor cold; I dread neither wind nor hail; the torrents of rain I’ll submit to; labour, heat, and thirst, will I endure. I’ll neither stop nor rest anywhere at night, or in the day, assuredly, befor
e I shall have met with either my mistress or my death.
EUTYCHUS
looking round . Some voice, I know not who’s, flew to my ear. CHAR. continuing . You do I invoke, ye Lares of the roads, that you will kindly lend me aid.
EUTYCHUS
seeing CHARINUS . Jupiter! isn’t that Charinus?
CHARINUS
turning round . Fellow-citizens, fare ye well.
EUTYCHUS
aloud . Charinus, stop, this instant.
CHARINUS
Who calls me back?
EUTYCHUS
Hope, Safety, Victory.
CHARINUS
What do you want with me?
EUTYCHUS
To go along with you.
CHARINUS
Look for another companion; these companions that have possession of me, will not part with me.
EUTYCHUS
Who are they?
CHARINUS
Care, misery, sickness, tears, and lamentation.
EUTYCHUS
Drive away those companions, and look this way and return.
CHARINUS
If indeed you wish to speak to me, do you follow. Moves on.
EUTYCHUS
Stop, this instant!
CHARINUS
You do amiss, in delaying me as I haste; the sun is setting.
EUTYCHUS
If you would make haste in this direction, just as you are hastening in that one, you’d be doing more rightly; this way there is now a prospering gale, only tack about. Here is a fair Westerly breeze; there is a showery Southern blast. The one causes a calm; the other stirs up all the waves. Betake yourself towards the land, Charinus, in this direction. Don’t you see right opposite? Black clouds and showers are coming on. Look now to the left, how full the heaven is of brightness. Don’t you see right opposite?
CHARINUS
He has thrown religious scruples in my way; I’ll betake myself in that direction. Turns towards EUTYCHUS.
EUTYCHUS
You are wise. O Charinus, turn your steps, and turn your feet as well, in the opposite direction, Extend your arm. Catch hold of me. Do you hold me new?
CHARINUS
I’m holding you.
EUTYCHUS
Hold on, then. Whither now were you going?
CHARINUS
Into banishment.
EUTYCHUS
What to do there?
CHARINUS
As a wretched person would.
EUTYCHUS
Don’t fear; this instant shall I restore you to joyousness before you go away.
CHARINUS
I’m going. Moves.
EUTYCHUS
A thing that you especially long to hear, the same shall you hear for you to rejoice at. Stay this instant; I’m come as a friend, full of the kindest feelings.
CHARINUS
What is it?
EUTYCHUS
Your mistress ——
CHARINUS
What of her?
EUTYCHUS
I know where she is.
CHARINUS
Prithee, do you?
EUTYCHUS
She’s safe and sound.
CHARINUS
Where is she safe?
EUTYCHUS
I know where.
CHARINUS
I’d much rather I did.
EUTYCHUS
Can’t you possibly be calm in your feelings?
CHARINUS
What if my feelings are agitated?
EUTYCHUS
I’ll bring them for you into a safe and tranquil state; don’t you fear.
CHARINUS
Prithee * * * do say where she is — where you’ve seen her. Why are you mute? Speak — you are torturing to death wretched me by your silence.
EUTYCHUS
She isn’t far from here.
CHARINUS
Why then don’t you point her out, if you see her?
EUTYCHUS
I’ faith, I don’t see her at this moment; but I saw her just now.
CHARINUS
Why, then, don’t you cause me to see her?
EUTYCHUS
I will cause it.
CHARINUS
That means a long time for one in love.
EUTYCHUS
Are you still in apprehension? I’ll disclose it all. No person is there living more beloved by me than is he who has got her; nor is there one to whom it is right that I should be a better wisher.
CHARINUS
I don’t care about that; I’m looking for her.
EUTYCHUS
About her, then, I’m telling you. Really, this has not come into my mind but this moment, to tell it you ——
CHARINUS
Tell me, then, where she is.
EUTYCHUS
In our house.
CHARINUS
If you are telling the truth, a worthy house, and aptly built, I deem it. But how am I to credit that? Have you seen her; or do you speak from hearsay?
EUTYCHUS
I’ve seen her myself.
CHARINUS
Who took her to your house?
EUTYCHUS
Why, you’re asking an unfair question. What matters it to you with whom she came?
CHARINUS
So long as she’s there ——
EUTYCHUS
She certainly is.
CHARINUS
Then, for these tidings, do you wish whatever you please.
EUTYCHUS
What if I do wish?
CHARINUS
Pray to the Gods to bring its fulfilment.
EUTYCHUS
You are laughing at me.
CHARINUS
My fortunes, in fine, are redeemed, if I can see her. But why don’t I lay aside this garb? Goes to the door of DEMIPHO’S house, and calls. Hallo, somebody, come here this instant out of doors. Come out, and bring me thence a cloak this way.
EUTYCHUS
Well, now how much you do gratify me.
CHARINUS
to a BOY who enters, bringing his cloak . You boy, who have come with such speed, take my scarf giving it , and now stand aside there; that, if these things are not true, I may hasten to go upon this intended journey. To EUTYCHUS. Are you telling the truth?
EUTYCHUS
Really, Charinus, you are not ashamed of anything. Don’t you believe me?
CHARINUS
For my part, I really do believe everything that you tell me. But why don’t you introduce me to her, that I may see her?
EUTYCHUS
Wait a little.
CHARINUS
Why am I to wait?
EUTYCHUS
It’s not a convenient moment to go into the house.
CHARINUS
You are torturing me to death.
EUTYCHUS
There’s no need, I tell you, for you to go into the house just now.
CHARINUS
Answer me-for what reason?
EUTYCHUS
She’s not at leisure.
CHARINUS
Why so?
EUTYCHUS
Because it isn’t convenient to her.
CHARINUS
Is it so? Not convenient to her who loves me, and whom I love in return? He’s trifling with me in every way. I’m too foolish to believe him. He’s only delaying me. Turns to the BOY. I’ll put on my scarf again.
EUTYCHUS
Stop a little, and listen to this.
CHARINUS
taking off the cloak . You boy, take this cloak, please. Puts on the travelling scarf.
EUTYCHUS
Really this hasn’t come but this moment into my mind to tell it you. My mother’s dreadfully angry with my father, because he has brought into the house a harlot before her very eyes, while she was away in the country. She suspects that she’s his own mistress.
CHARINUS
not attending to him . I’ve taken up my belt. Puts it on.
EUTYC
HUS
She’s now enquiring into this matter in-doors.
CHARINUS
inattentive . Now my sword’s in hand. Taking it from the BOY.
EUTYCHUS
But if I were now to introduce you?
CHARINUS
inattentive . I’ll take my bottle, and be off from here. Moves.
EUTYCHUS
Stop, stop, Charinus!
CHARINUS
You are mistaken; you can’t deceive me.
EUTYCHUS
And, i’ faith, I have no wish.
CHARINUS
Why, then, don’t you allow me to proceed upon my journey?
EUTYCHUS
I won’t let you.
CHARINUS
I’m delaying myself. Boy, do you this instant be off hence in-doors. The BOY goes into the house. Now I’ve ascended the chariot; now I’ve taken the reins in my hands. Imitating the action of a charioteer.
EUTYCHUS
You are not in your senses.
CHARINUS
Feet of mine, why don’t ye betake yourselves into the chariot, straight for Cyprus, since my father determines on my banishment?
EUTYCHUS
You are silly. Prithee, don’t be saying this.
CHARINUS
as though to himself . I’m resolved to persist — to use my endeavours to seek her out where she is.
EUTYCHUS
Why, she’s at our house.
CHARINUS
as though to himself . For what that person said, he told a falsehood in it.
EUTYCHUS
Really, I told you the truth.
CHARINUS
continuing . Now I’ve come to Cyprus.
EUTYCHUS
Nay, but follow me, that you may see her whom you are looking for. Moves towards his FATHER’S house.
CHARINUS
pretending not to hear . Enquiring there, I didn’t find her. EUT. I’ll not care then for my mother’s anger.
CHARINUS
still pretending . I’ll still go on to seek her. Now I’ve got to Chalcis; I see there my former host at Zacynthus; I tell him why I’ve come thither; I make enquiry if he has heard say who has brought her thither, who has got possession of her.
EUTYCHUS
Why don’t you cease that nonsense, and step with me this way in-doors?
CHARINUS
still pretending . My host answered that figs grew, not bad ones, at Zacynthus.
EUTYCHUS
He didn’t say false there.
CHARINUS
continuing . But he says that he has heard about my mistress, that she’s here at Athens.