by Vikki Vaught
He lifted her chin. “Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.” Then he lowered his head and gently kissed her eyelids, then feathered kisses on her cheek, making his way to her lips. A small gasp escaped her, as he pulled her close and deepened the kiss. Not wanting to, but unable to resist, she melted into his arms, feeling sensations race through her as he kissed her.
The kisses grew more heated and his hand roamed to her breast, cupping it in his large hand. Straining for his touch, Anissa felt him tug down the neckline of her dress as he slid his hand inside, taking her nipple and rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Pleasure surged through her and she moaned, wanting the feelings to go on forever.
Then remembering all the reasons why they could never be, she pulled away. “No, we must not. Please…let me go.”
Instantly, Alex stepped back from her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I just wanted to stop your tears, please forgive me. It won’t happen again.”
Anissa straightened the bodice of her gown to regain her composure. “I wanted you to comfort me, but we come from different backgrounds. An intimate friendship between us would never work. I’m sorry. I need to return to the house now.” Then, picking up her skirts, she ran from the barn.
Chapter Eight
After she left, Alex leaned his head against Buttercup’s stall and sighed. She was right…nothing between them could ever work. Her destiny lay in England and his here.
So, why do I yearn for it?
God, why can’t I resist her?
When she melted in his arms, he had lost himself completely in their kiss. Her lips tasted as sweet as honey and her skin felt as smooth as satin. His arousal still raged at fever pitch in the aftermath of their embrace. While his intellect told him it could not work, his body disagreed. He definitely needed to banish her from his mind. Tomorrow evening, he would visit Carla. She would help him forget Anissa. He and Carla had been lovers off and on for the last five years, and she would welcome him with open arms.
Yes, that’s what I’ll do.
Surely that will work.
He only needed to make it through the next few days, and then he could take her to Alexandria and put her out of his mind. Surely, distance would help—even if Carla did not.
By the time, he had returned to the house, night had fallen and everyone had gone back inside. He found his mother in the parlor alone.
When he entered the room, she gave him a stern look. “What happened in the barn? When Mrs. Carlson came back, she looked as if she’d been crying. She took her son, excused herself, and went upstairs. I know you told me there wasn’t anything between you two, but are you sure about that?”
“Of course I’m sure,” He tried to modulate his tone. However, he could hear the frustration in his voice. He hoped his mother did not notice. “I asked her how her husband died, and she started crying. Nothing else happened. She’s had a lot to deal with, between losing her husband and then having to flee England to get away from Lord Howard. If anyone deserves to have a good cry it’s Mrs. Carlson.”
“Poor woman, from what you told me earlier, she does deserve a good cry. Perhaps our trip into town tomorrow will help cheer her up. Well, I’m tired, so I think I’ll turn in.” Then rising on her toes, she kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, son, it’s good to have you home. I’ll see you in the mornin’.”
“Goodnight, Ma. I appreciate you bein’ so understanding.”
Alex went into his study and poured himself a large glass of whiskey. Settling back in his chair, he proceeded to get very drunk. Even though he fought it, his mind kept wandering back to the kiss in the barn. Anissa was so beautiful with her glorious, deep golden hair, brilliant blue eyes, and luscious curves. He could imagine her petite frame moving under him as he thrust into her woman’s heat.
Slamming his fist down on the desk, he sighed as frustration coursed through his veins. This obsession had to end. He would go mad if he did not get away from her. Seeking oblivion, he continued to drink until around one in the morning, then staggered up to bed.
Alex tossed and turned, but eventually fell into a troubled sleep. When he awoke the next morning to the crowing of the rooster, he had a headache to end all headaches. The whiskey from the night before had not quieted his mind or his dreams, but it had made him sick. Sitting up, waves of nausea and dizziness assailed him. Reaching for the chamber pot, he emptied the contents of his stomach as cold sweat broke out on his forehead. Knowing he needed to fight the sickness, he got up and went over to the washbasin, then splashed cool water on his face.
Steeling himself, Alex lathered his face and shaved. His hands were shaking so badly, he nicked his chin in several places. Once he finished shaving and had dressed, he began to feel marginally better. By the time he made it downstairs to the dining room, he felt more like his old self. When he sat down at the table, Mina brought him a plate piled high with fried eggs, grits, sausage, and biscuits with gravy. After devouring his breakfast, he headed out to the barn, saddled Blazer, and raced toward town.
Once Alex reached his office, he tied Blazer’s reins to the railing and entered the building. He stayed so busy working he did not have much time to think of Anissa. Late in the afternoon, he grabbed a bite to eat with Bridges. By the time he departed, it was well past seven o’clock, and he headed over to Carla’s House of Pleasure, confident he would find a warm welcome. After all, it had been months since he had left Baltimore for his trip to England.
Still early for a whorehouse, a dozen of Carla’s girls, all scantily dressed, lounged around on the sofas and chairs. They all greeted him with enthusiasm.
“Good evenin’ my beauties, where’s Carla?” he asked.
Rose, a sultry, dark-haired woman, spoke up. “Carla’s in her office. I’m sure she’ll be happy to see ya, Captain. I’ll take ya back there, if you’d like.”
“No, that’s not necessary, darlin’,” Alex told her, “I do believe I know how to get there, but thank you for the offer.” Then giving her a peck on the lips, he strolled down the hall.
With a quick rap on the door, Alex heard Carla’s mellow voice call out, “Come on in.” Pushing the door open, he entered and when his friend saw him, she walked around her desk with her hips swaying as she gave him a slow smile. “It’s good to see ya, Alex. I heard that your ship docked yesterday, so I figured you’d be comin’ round to see little ole me.”
She rose up on her tiptoes and gave him a blazing kiss that should have curled his toes, but instead, her heavy perfume and the cosmetics she wore, glaringly brought to mind Anissa’s delicate rose scent and natural, unblemished complexion.
Determined to block her out of his mind, he returned Carla’s kiss, thrusting his tongue into her welcoming mouth, allowing his hands to glide over her generous curves and full bosom. Carla dug her fingers into his shoulder as he lowered his head and yanked down the neckline of her gown with his teeth, then took one of her turgid nipples into his mouth, roughly nipping at it the way Carla liked. Backing her up to the daybed across the room, he pushed her down, and pulled up her skirt as he fell on top of her.
Carla ripped open his breeches, grabbed his rigid cock and squeezed as he groaned his pleasure. As she guided his stiff erection to her dripping portal, images of Anissa’s face flashed before his eyes, and his cock deflated faster than a balloon. He sat up, ran his fingers through his hair and groaned.
Carla sat up, and with an inquiring look asked, “What’s wrong, lover, why’d ya stop?”
Alex rubbed his hand across his face. “God, I’m sorry, Carla. I can’t do it.”
“Why not? You seemed enthusiastic enough a moment ago,” she retorted. “You’ve been out to sea for weeks. You should be randy as a goat.”
“I am, or I was,” Alex muttered, “but I damned well can’t do it. Oh, God, Carla, I’ve met a lady and all I can think about is her. It’s drivin’ me insane. I thought when I saw you everything would be fine, but all I can see is her face. I even imagined I could
smell her sweet perfume. I’m sorry, but I can’t have sex with you when she’s on my mind.”
Ruefully looking at him, she said, “In all the time I’ve known ya, you’ve never let any female get to you. What makes this ‘lady’ different? How’d ya meet her?”
Glancing over at Carla, Alex took in her state of dishabille, and he felt a flicker of desire. It died as swiftly as it came. He swore, “Damn it all to hell. I don’t want to feel anything for her, but I can’t seem to help myself. I helped her flee England when she came to me begging passage on my ship. She’s a high society widow, for Christ’s sake. We have nothing in common but a fierce passion for each other that we’ve not acted on.”
Looking at him with pity in her sultry, dark eyes, Carla murmured, “You got it bad, don’t ya? You’ve fallen in love with her. Poor Alex. I know that’s the last thing you ever wanted to have happen, after Pamela.”
“No,” He absolutely refused to accept this. “I’m not in love with her. I refuse to be. It’s sexual, nothing else. I burn with desire whenever I’m around her. If I bed her, I could get my fill of her and be fine. I won’t allow her to break through my shield if it’s the last thing I do.”
With a skeptical gleam in her eyes, she shrugged. “Whatever you say, Alex, but know I’m here for you if you change your mind. We’ve always been good for each other. I hope you’re right about not bein’ in love with her. Once you have her out of your system, come on back. Now why don’t I pour ya a nice glass of whiskey, and after you’ve drunk it, ya can head on home.”
Alex drank his whiskey and let Carla fuss over him for a while, then mounted up and headed for home. His spirits were lower than he had ever known them to be since Pamela’s betrayal.
Over the next few days, Alex avoided being around Anissa as much as possible, only seeing her at meals. Between getting everything handled at work and making sure he had everything around the house caught up, he barely had time to think. She kept her distance as well, which helped. He still slept poorly and woke up every morning with an arousal so stiff he had to relieve himself just to make it through the day.
Alex could not wait for Friday to come, so he could take Anissa and Harry to Alexandria. He certainly hoped putting some distance between them would help break the hold she seemed to have on him. He prayed that the old saying “out of sight, out of mind” held true for him.
* * * *
On Friday, the eighteenth, Anissa rose at the crack of dawn. She rushed through her morning ablutions, dressed quickly and woke up Harry.
As he rubbed sleep from his eyes, he asked, “Are we leaving for Meadow Grove today, Mama? I do not want to go. I will miss playing with Melanie and my cat, Barney. May I please take him with us? I promise to take good care of him. You shall not even know he is around. Please, Mama?”
Anissa sighed. What would it harm to allow him to bring the cat? After all, he would be lonely without his friend. “I know you have become good friends with Melanie, but you know we must not stay here. Your uncle will surely arrive in Baltimore soon, and he cannot find us. As far as your cat goes, I suppose you can bring him, but you are responsible for him. Do you understand me, young man?”
“Oh, thank you, Mama.” Harry bounced out of bed, his entire attitude changing. “I shall take great care of him, I promise.”
Smiling, Anissa helped him wash and dress. Once she had him ready, they went downstairs to the dining room, where breakfast waited for them.
Mina bustled into the room. “Mrs. Carlson, I’ve packed ya a basket for yer trip an’ I puts plenty o’ my biscuits with honey and butter in it, ’cause I knows how much ya likes ’em. I’ve also packed fried chicken, so it should keep ya from havin’ t’ stop along th’ way.”
Anissa took her seat at the table and smiled at the cheerful woman. “Thank you, Mina. I will miss your excellent cooking. I imagine I have gained a bit of weight. Nonetheless, thank you for the basket, it is most appreciated.”
Smiling broadly, showing her slightly crooked but startlingly white teeth, Mina said, “Well, ya needs fattenin’ up, child. You was skin and bones when ya first arrived heah. And, this fine young man o’ yorn needs some fattenin’ up too. Now eat up, th’ Cap’n’s already ’et his breakfast and is waitin’ outside by th’ carriage. Harvey’s carryin’ yor trunk down as we speaks.”
Once Harry finished his breakfast, Anissa helped him wipe his mouth, and then they went outside to the carriage. They were getting such an early start the sun had barely started to creep up over the ocean, and all the brilliant colors of pink and gold streaking the morning sky almost took her breath away. She realized she had not watched the sun come up while she had stayed there. It seemed more spectacular than the sunrises in England. She wished she had taken advantage of it and had watched the dawn break every day, instead of sleeping in.
Alex’s mother and sister were out front to see them off. Georgia hugged her. “I’m going to miss you, dear. My best friend lives in Alexandria. Mary Lou and I have been friends since birth. I’ve written a letter to her, introducing you. Once you’re settled, go see her. Take care, and don’t forget to write.”
“Thank you, Georgia. That is thoughtful of you. I look forward to meeting your friend. And of course, I shall be happy to write you.”
Anissa turned to Kathleen. “I’m sorry I did not get to meet your beau. I wish you the best. Thank you for going riding with me.”
“I’m glad we had the opportunity. I’ll miss you, Anissa,” Kathleen replied. “Take care, and write soon.”
Harry and Melanie were saying their goodbyes, and poor little Melanie had tears rolling down her cheeks. Anissa knelt in front of her and gave her a hug. “You shall see us again. I will make sure you see each other before we go back to England. Take care, Melanie.”
Alex helped her into the carriage, and then he assisted Harry in as well. “I’m riding Blazer, since I want to leave you the carriage. We should arrive in Alexandria long before nightfall. There should be time for me to drive you around Washington City.”
Anissa leaned out the window of the carriage. “I hope we have time. How far is Alexandria?”
“It’s around fifty-five miles. Meadow Grove is on the edge of Alexandria. Since it’s so close to Washington City, quite a few of the government officials make their homes there. My mother’s father was a Supreme Court justice. That’s why he chose to live there.”
Anissa looked surprised. “I did not realize Meadow Grove was so close to your capital. I look forward to seeing it. You will have to explain to me what a Supreme Court justice does when we have more time. Do you think Buttercup will be all right traveling behind the carriage?”
“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. If she becomes too restless, I’ll switch and ride her for a while.”
Anissa watched as they pulled away from the house. Everyone waved as they drove out of sight. Alex’s family had been so welcoming. She would miss them, and Harry would miss Melanie terribly.
Settling back in her seat, she smiled over at Harry when she heard a little sniffle. “I know you are sad over leaving Melanie, but you shall see her again once your uncle is no longer a threat. Now, why don’t you play with Barney?”
Harry wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. “All right, Mama.” Harry reached into the basket and pulled out his kitten. Soon, he became so absorbed in watching Barney’s antics he forgot to be sad.
Around ten o’clock, the carriage pulled to a halt by a pretty meadow with a stream running beside it. Alex opened the door. “I thought you might need a private moment. There are some bushes downstream, which will give you some privacy. Harry can come with me.”
Embarrassed, but grateful, Anissa hurried toward the bushes and took care of her personal needs. Once she finished, she joined them by the stream. Alex was trying to teach her son how to skip rocks.
When Harry got his rock to skip two times, his laughter rang out. “Look, Mama. I did it!”
“I see that, darling. Before long, you
will be able to skip a rock as many times as Captain Hawks.” Turning to Alex, she added, “Thank you for being so patient with my son.”
“No problem, he’s a good lad. Well, we need to resume our journey. We’ll stop again in a few hours to eat. If I know Mina, she’s probably packed enough food to last us for several days.”
Anissa laughed. “I’m sure you are right. She certainly loves to feed people. I will get Harry and we can be on our way.”
Anissa watched the countryside as she rode along. Maryland had lots of verdant pastures and gentle, rolling hills. The landscape reminded her of Oxfordshire, where she grew up. By the time they stopped for lunch, Harry was complaining of hunger. Again, they stopped by another stream, and Anissa spread out the blanket and set out the food while Alex took Harry to the bushes.
When they returned, Anissa had plates of fried chicken, cheese, biscuits, and apples ready for them. All three of them ate ravenously.
As Anissa packed up the remaining food, Alex explained, “Our next stop is Washington City. We’ve made good time, so we should have time for a brief tour.”
“Oh, good,” she replied as she closed the food basket. “I look forward to it. I am so glad I had the opportunity to meet your mother and Kathleen. I truly liked them.”
“My mother and sister are fond of you as well. I’m glad you enjoyed their company.”
Anissa sat back on her heels. “Your home is lovely. As I watched the dawn break this morning, I wished I had taken advantage of watching it each morning, instead of sleeping.”
Alex stretched out on the blanket beside her. “I know what you mean. My room opens onto the balcony, and I enjoy watching the dawn break. I get such a peaceful feeling.” They noticed Harry had fallen asleep while they talked.
“Oh, dear, what will we do now?”
“We can afford to rest a bit more before we return to the road. The horses need a rest anyway. I sent a letter to Barrington last Monday. Bennett found a ship leaving for London on Tuesday.”
