by Elin Wyn
I was out of bed and out the door in two strides. I didn’t bother getting dressed.
What could be wrong? Miri was nervous about being in a holding cell, I knew that. But I thought I’d done a good job of easing her mind.
It briefly occurred to me that there was a possibility she was trying to escape. If she was, that would mean she was guilty of something. I squashed the thought the moment it formed.
I burst into the guard station, startling the two guards at their post.
“What’s happened?” I demanded.
“We aren’t sure. It looks like the human female is having some kind of fit,” a Valorni explained to me. He stepped aside so I could see the surveillance monitors. One was fixed on Miri’s cell. She was sitting up in bed, though she was stooped over, and it looked like she was pulling her own hair.
“Let me down there this instant,” I ordered.
“We can’t do that,” the other guard, a K’ver, protested.
“Do it or I will make you do it,” I growled. I had a few inches of height on both of them. By now, I was surely stronger.
“Fine, but you’re taking the heat if we get in trouble,” the Valorni scoffed.
I moved through the hall, my vision narrowed in on Miri’s door. Her cell wasn’t unlocked. I shot a glare at the security camera before turning it off.
They weren’t going to help her.
They shouldn’t even look at her.
Gripping the door handle, I twisted it until the whole mechanism cracked. The door swung open.
Miri sat on her bed, sobbing hysterically. She hadn’t noticed that I just broke into her cell.
“Miri.” I hurried to the bed and gripped her wrists. She looked up at me, her eyes red-rimmed and wild.
“Zarik?” Her voice was hoarse.
“What’s the matter?” I asked. I slowly lowered her hands away from her hair. When I released her hands, she lurched forward. Her thin arms wrapped around my shoulders. Without thinking, my hands gripped her waist and I pulled her against me.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” I urged her gently. For a while, she couldn’t speak. Her breath came in ragged gasps that shook her whole body. I held her steady until she was able to speak again.
“I remember,” she said.
“Remember what?” I asked.
“I remember.” Another sob broke through her lips. I placed my hand on the back of her head and placed her head on my chest. I hoped I was doing the right thing. I’d never comforted a distressed female before.
I didn’t know the protocol.
Was there such a thing?
I was following my instincts. At least, I didn’t appear to make things worse.
“I remember, I remember, I remember,” Miri murmured.
“What do you remember?” I prompted. She drew breath as if she was planning to speak, but a pained cry was all that came out.
“All right,” I hushed. “You don’t have to tell me if it causes you such distress.”
“I remember,” she whispered.
“I know.” I turned to the side and pressed a kiss into her forehead. There was no conscious thought to my motions, it simply felt like what I needed to do. Her brow was damp with sweat and her skin was far too hot.
“Should I let go?” I asked. “I don’t want you to overheat.”
“Please don’t let go,” she whimpered.
“If you don’t want me to, then I won’t,” I assured her. Some of her hair was matted against her forehead. I gently pushed it back. Her hair was softer than I expected it to be. I ran my fingers through it once more. To my surprise, Miri’s tense muscles began to relax. I kept doing that until I felt her arms slip from around my shoulders.
“Let’s get you back into bed,” I suggested. I gently helped her lie down. I pulled only one of the blankets over her. Her skin was still too hot.
“Wait,” her small voice cracked. “Are you leaving?”
“Not if you don’t want me to,” I told her.
“I don’t want you to.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’ll sit with you for as long as you need.”
I sat beside her and resumed stroking her hair. She seemed to enjoy the physical contact. I wasn’t sure how long we stayed like that, but before too long she began to shiver. I pulled the other blanket over her, but that didn’t stop the trembling.
“Are you cold?” I asked.
When I leaned down to touch her, I realized she was silently crying.
Without thinking twice, I pulled back the blankets and slid in beside her. She rolled over, pressing her tear-soaked face into my chest.
“You’re all right,” I whispered to her.
“Talk to me,” she answered in a broken voice. “Tell me something that doesn’t have anything to do with any of this, something that makes sense.”
Tell her something.
For a moment, my shame was on the tip of my tongue, but I stopped. She didn’t need to know that.
Not ever.
I gathered her in my arms.
“When I was a very, very small boy,” I whispered to her, “I caught a bad case of Piperian fever.”
“What’s that?” she sniffled.
“We’ve eradicated most of the childhood diseases that struck Skotans in the past, but Piperian fever just keeps mutating. Adults shake it off in a week or so. Children,” I paused, wondering if this was the best story to tell her, “children usually die.”
“That’s horrible.” Her arms tightened around me, as if she could protect me from a long ago threat.
“True. And any progress we’ve made on a cure has probably been lost to the devastation of the Xathi.” I’d never really thought about that. Maybe the Skotan scientists would have found a cure, if we hadn’t had to divert so many resources to survival.
“But my grandmother refused to give up on me. She nursed me and kept me in freezing baths, trying to keep my temperature down.”
“You’re already so warm,” she murmured, relaxing.
“If you’d touched me then, I’m afraid I would have burned you.” I ran one finger over her upper arm. Such soft skin. So delicate.
“I survived, but the fever left its mark. Bleached my skin, softened my scales.”
Made me a freak. But an alive freak.
“I think it's pretty,” she mumbled. “Different.”
I stayed awake until the trembling of her shoulders stopped.
When I felt sure she was asleep, I gradually let exhaustion claim me once more.
Pretty.
Huh.
Miri
I woke up with the sun streaming through the window. It caressed my face softly, its warmth spreading across my skin, and it was enough to make my eyelids flutter open. Sitting up in the bed, I ran one hand through my disheveled hair and took a deep breath. My face felt sore from crying, and my eyes were still bleary and swollen. Had I seen my reflection in the mirror, it would probably have been enough to scare me.
I was about to swing my legs off the bed when my hands bumped against something under the sheets. Or, rather, against someone. Turning to the side, I held my breath as I realized that Zarik was lying in bed with me, his bare white chest rising and falling softly. Perhaps unconsciously noticing my stare, he stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes.
“Miri?” he asked me with a whisper, looking around the room as if he didn’t remember how he had ended up in bed with me. It didn’t take long before he breathed out gently, his confused expression giving way to a more relaxed one as he remembered what had happened the night before. Sitting up, he reached for me and laid his hand on top of mine. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” I said, reinforcing my reply with a nod. My heart sped up a bit as I felt the touch of his fingers on my hand, his hand so big it made my own feel incredibly tiny. “And all because of you,” I continued, not capable of filtering my own words. My eyes met Zarik’s for a moment, and I found myself relishing his presence.
I had been completely adrift in the world, but he had looked after me. He had kept me safe, and even comforted me when I simply couldn’t take it anymore. But he was so much more than just my protector...there was something about him that was almost magnetic, the pull of his character and body enough to shut down all rationality inside me.
“I didn’t do anything,” he started to say, but I was no longer listening to him. My eyes were fascinated by his lips and the way they moved, and a second later I was leaning into him, my eyelids drooping as my mouth demanded his.
I stopped when our noses brushed against each other, our lips so dangerously close that I couldn’t stop my head from spinning. I had grown accustomed to feeling dizzy and disoriented, but this was completely different...this time it was worth it to have my head spinning.
Neither of us dared to make the first move, to bridge the gap between our mouths, but in the end, we both surrendered at the same time. Our lips touched with a kind of gentleness I didn’t expect from Zarik, but I lit a fire under that gentleness of his and fanned the flames.
Parting his lips with the tip of my tongue, l ran one hand down his chest as our kiss became a frenzied one. Our tongues danced eagerly, and my heart kept the tempo as his hands roamed down the sides of my body.
I hadn’t expected to feel this comfortable around someone like Zarik but, now that we had kissed, I finally realized it wasn’t simply a matter of comfort. Zarik made me feel stronger. He made me believe I could survive whatever challenges life decided to throw my way.
“Thank you, Zarik,” I breathed out, slowly breaking away from him.
“What for?” he whispered.
“For being here when I needed you the most…” I paused for a moment and, averting my gaze, continued. “And I’m sorry for this. I shouldn’t have—”
“No,” he hushed me, laying one finger across my lips. “I won’t let you apologize for this, Miri. I had a taste of you, and that’s not something I regret. In fact, it’s just the opposite.”
Pulling me tight against him, my head resting against his chest, he wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe in his embrace, more than I had ever felt since I woke up in those woods, not even knowing who I was. I curled up against him, wishing for that moment to never end, and hummed softly as I felt him caress the small of my back, his fingertips gently brushing against my skin.
“Last night,” Zarik said after a few minutes, “you were saying that you remembered. And you seemed scared. I don’t know if you want to talk about it, but I’m worried. What exactly did you remember, Miri?”
I hesitated before speaking.
I had remembered a lot, yes, but the memories were more painful than I had expected. I finally had a sense of who I was, where I lived, but the memories of the past few weeks...I didn’t remember all of those, but I knew that they were dark. Deep down, I wondered if I didn’t remember them because I didn’t want to.
“I remember my apartment,” I finally said, keeping my eyes closed as I mentally walked around the place where I had once lived. “I lived alone. And I was alone when…” I trailed off, my heart hammering against my ribs.
“What happened, Miri?”
“I was alone, and then I wasn’t,” I breathed out. “There was someone else in there with me, but I don’t remember who...or even what happened. There’s a gap there. But I remember waking up in a cold bed, my wrists tied to the frame.”
I gritted my teeth, the panic I had felt then surging once more. The memory of waking up in that bed was a vivid one, and I could still feel the way my wrists had been restrained.
I looked down at my hands by instinct, almost expecting to see my skin chafed from pulling against my restraints. There were a few marks on my wrists, yes, but they were barely noticeable now.
“You don’t know who did that to you?”
“I don’t,” I said as I shook my head. “I remember voices, silhouettes...but I don’t remember faces or names.”
“What about other details? There might be something in your memories that’ll help us figure out where that happened, and where you were before.”
“I... I don’t remember much,” I said. “My memory is spotty. There were more beds around me, and they seemed like the kind of beds you’d see in a hospital. Stretcher beds, maybe. There was the smell of disinfectant, and I remember a plain floor.”
“A hospital, then?”
“I don’t think so.” Pinching the bridge of my nose, I kept my eyes shut as I forced my mind into the past.
“Good, that’s good,” Zarik whispered, holding me close. His voice was soothing and it made me relax. I took a few deep breaths and more memories started bubbling up to the surface. “What else, Miri?”
“I remember someone holding my arm,” I continued. “They checked my pulse, and then they wrapped something around my arm. Like a tourniquet. Then…” I held my breath then, remembering how a needle had punctured my skin. “They injected me with something. I felt nauseous, I felt sick, and I was so afraid…”
“It’s okay,” Zarik said. “I’m right here. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
“I don’t know how long I remained there,” I said, the words now flying out from between my lips. “Maybe days. Weeks. I don’t know. But I do remember loosening my restraints over time. And one night, I broke free...I dashed out of the room I was in, down a deserted hallway, and then out into the woods. And then...then I just started running.”
“Were there more people with you?”
“I... I think so,” I nodded.
“Thank you, Miri,” Zarik smiled kindly. With his eyes on mine, he leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I know that was hard for you, but I’m glad you shared it with me. We don’t have to do it now, and we can wait till you feel ready, but you’ll have to share this with the general.”
“I will,” I replied. “I need to know what happened. I need to know what they did to me.”
“We will figure it out, Miri,” he said. “And whoever’s behind all this...we’re going to get them. That’s a promise.”
Zarik
I paced back and forth in front of General Rouhr’s closed door. Patience had never been one of my virtues.
In fact, I couldn’t say I’d ever met a Skotan with a gift for patience.
I didn’t want Miri going in there alone. She needed some measure of security. She needed a hand to hold. I paused to wonder if I was underestimating her. In the short time I’d known her, she’d proven that she was brave and resilient. I should start giving her more credit. But I also had this undeniable need to protect her from anything and everything.
When General Rouhr’s door opened, I turned around so fast I nearly took out a Valorni coming down the corridor. He gave me a sharp glare but I ignored him.
I was glad to see that Miri wasn’t crying, but she did look awfully pale. When she saw me, she immediately came to my side. She gripped my arm, touching her forehead to my shoulder.
“Are you okay?” I asked in a soft voice. She nodded silently. I planted a kiss on the top of her head. I felt her body relax against mine. She felt comfortable with me. Safe. It felt good to be her safe haven. I fought the urge to give her a full kiss. General Rouhr was one of the few people whose opinion I actually cared about. I still needed to have some degree of professionalism.
Miri lifted her chin to look up at me. The sweet look in her eyes was almost my undoing. I couldn’t resist pushing a lock of hair back from her face. Professionalism be damned.
“Do I need to leave you two alone for a moment?” General Rouhr asked, one brow arched.
“No, sir,” I replied, though I kept Miri close to me.
“Based on the information I’ve gleaned, I believe that there is a group of humans somewhere purposefully attacking exposed vines of the Puppet Master with hopes of getting it to secrete gas,” he said.
“Recreationally?” I asked.
“That could be a component,” Rouhr said. “But I think they are attempting to m
ake a modified version of the memory-erasing gas.”
“I doubt they have good intentions,” I muttered.
“I agree,” he nodded.
“I’m at your disposal if you have a mission for me,” I said.
“So am I,” came Miri’s soft voice. I smiled down at her.
“That’s what I was hoping to hear,” the general grinned. “Miri, are you up for returning to your apartment? You gave me enough information for me to find it. It’s in the southwest section of Nyheim. If that’s where you were taken from, your kidnapper might’ve left something behind.”
Miri paused for a moment and sucked in a deep breath.
“I can do that,” she nodded.
“If you change your mind at any point, that’s perfectly all right.” I looked at the general for confirmation. He nodded.
“We’ll go as soon as you’re ready,” I told Miri. She looked nervous, but she managed to smile.
“Wait a moment.” General Rouhr stopped us just before we walked away. He held his comm unit in his hand, the notification light blinking.
“Is something wrong, sir?” I asked.
“There was a woman who came in a few days ago looking for her missing daughter. When Miri regained her memory, I reached out to the woman and invited her to come in,” he explained. “The timeframe fits.”
Of course. Wrapped up in Miri’s mystery, I’d forgotten about the woman who started my quest.
“You think she could be my mother?” Miri asked hopefully.
“There’s a possibility,” General Rouhr said cautiously. “It was more likely when you weren’t sure of your name. But it's still worth checking, right?”
Miri bit her lip, thinking. “I’ll go see her,” she agreed.
“She’s in the lobby,” the general directed.
Miri and I walked hand in hand to the elevator. A few of the other crew members had gotten used to the sight of Miri and me touching in some way over the last few days, though I still enjoyed seeing the occasional surprised stare.
