by Jan Moran
Ruby pulled away. She wasn’t seventeen anymore. It was one thing to have thoughts that brought comfort, but it was quite another to upheave her life at this late stage.
Of all the contingency planning Ruby had done over the years—life insurance, health insurance, pension funds, investments—never had she considered that Niccolò would rise from the grave and ask for her hand again.
Ruby smiled at him through misty eyes. “I think it’s too late for us, my darling.”
Niccolò shook his head. “Maybe too late to start that family we’d planned on, but not too late to grow old together. Unless, of course, you have someone else in your life.”
“I’ve never loved anyone as I did you,” Ruby said.
“I’m almost sorry to hear that,” Niccolò said in a tender voice. “A woman like you should have married, had children.”
His sweet comment sliced through Ruby. “How do you know I didn’t?”
“I never received a request for a divorce. And, painful as it was for me, it wasn’t too hard to follow the brilliant career and personal life of the world-famous Ruby Raines.”
“The studio press department supplied most of that material, but you’re right,” she said. “I never married again.”
Ruby lowered her eyes. She’d only half-addressed his comment. Her head was already spinning from seeing Niccolò and processing the details he’d shared—which were undoubtedly true.
Looking up, Ruby said, “I remember the night we told your parents we were married and how angry your father was. He advised you to annul the marriage. Why didn’t you?”
Niccolò drew a deep breath. “My father insisted I fill out the paperwork, which I did. He thought an annulment would ease my mind and give me a fresh start.” Reliving his memories, he wiped his eyes. “Except that I couldn’t bring myself to sign the final documents. As long as you held my heart, it didn’t matter what a piece of paper said. As you became more famous, I thought that someday you would call and ask for your freedom.”
A wistful smile crossed his face, and Niccolò took her hand. “Or even ask to see me again. Until then, I still had a chance. My father never understood, but fortunately, my parents had many other grandchildren. The years passed, and the pain subsided. Finally, our love became a bittersweet memory. I still have the papers. If you want me to sign them, I will.”
Listening to Niccolò, Ruby choked up. She couldn’t answer him. He had suffered more than she’d ever imagined. How could she possibly tell him that she’d given away their precious child? Would this be too much for him now?
In the silence between them, Ruby thought about Niccolò’s story of anguish. She shared his pain. She understood how devastating rejection was—she’d thought he had rejected her. In retrospect, Ruby wished that she had returned to Italy to search for him, but at the time, she didn’t have the strength to return only to confirm his abandonment. The mind had a strange way of coping with what it couldn’t handle to avoid a breakdown. Accepting his death was less painful than accepting his denial of her. Work kept her busy, and when she finally had time, too much time had passed.
Or so she’d thought.
Niccolò slid his arm over her shoulders, and she leaned into him, cherishing his presence. Still, he had a right to know that he had a daughter. Even if he never spoke to her again. Ruby cleared her throat.
“Would you like to retrace our steps in Varenna?” she asked.
“I’d like that very much,” he replied, tilting his head to touch hers. “Those were the happiest days of my life.”
“Mine, too,” Ruby said. She hoped he’d still feel that way afterward.
Chapter 32
Lago di Como, 2010
* * *
The sun hadn’t been up long, and Ruby was having coffee on the terrace, enjoying the fresh morning Tivano breezes from Valtellina and the north. Her mind was full of Niccolò. She could scarcely believe he was alive and living on the shores of Lake Como. And that their love had endured the distance of time.
Sipping her coffee, she watched the early ferry cut through the water from Varenna to Bellagio. The morning bells of Chiesa di San Giorgio tolled in the distance, and the scent of honeysuckle drifted on the breeze, just as on the day they’d married.
Knowing that Niccolò was alive, Ruby had hardly slept. Adrenaline surged through her, and she felt the years melt away.
Watching the golden orioles flitting among the trees, Ruby smiled. Before they had parted last night, Niccolò promised to call her at noon today. I don’t think either of us will sleep much tonight, he’d told her, as he held her in his arms on the swing at his farmhouse among the grapevines.
“Scusi, Signora Ruby,” Livia said as she stepped onto the terrace from the kitchen. “A woman is at the door. She says she is your niece. Mari?”
Ruby bolted upright. “Mari is here?” It wasn’t like the perennially scheduled Mari to show up unannounced. “Don’t wake Ariana, but when you hear her rustling in her room, warn her that her mother is here. I’ll talk to Mari first. Let her know that.” Ruby rushed from the terrace to the front door.
“My dear Mari,” Ruby cried, swinging the door open. “Come in, come in.”
Mari stood at the door dressed in black, looking worn and frazzled, no doubt from an overnight transatlantic flight.
“Hello, Aunt Ruby,” Mari said. “Do you have any coffee? What I had on the flight was dreadful.”
“Of course, put your things down there. Livia will see to them.” Ruby noted how thin Mari was. She’d always worked out hard, but she looked haggard. “I wish I’d known you were coming.”
“I booked the flight yesterday,” Mari said, efficiently propping her designer purse and a laptop bag on top of her matching suitcase. “You said you wanted to see me. Sorry if I’m late, but I was having a tough time at work.”
“I’m so glad you came.” Ruby hugged Mari, and she was met with a limp embrace. “Let’s get your coffee. We have breakfast, too, if you’re hungry.”
Mari followed her to the terrace and flopped sullenly onto a chair. Livia hurried out with a large cup of coffee and a pot for refills.
“Thank God,” Mari said, cupping her hands around the earthenware mug.
“I’m glad you managed to take time from work,” Ruby said, easing into the conversation she knew was coming.
Mari cringed. “I got fired two weeks ago, so I’ve had a lot of unexpected time to sort through my mess of a life.”
“Oh, dear, I’m so sorry,” Ruby said. “I know how much that job meant to you.”
“It was my life. And it’s sad to admit that.” Mari pulled out a folded paper. “I didn’t have time to read your letter until after I left the company.”
Ruby recognized the stationery she’d bought for Patricia years ago. “You visited the bank?”
“Just recently. Do you know about this letter my mom left?”
Bracing herself, Ruby nodded. “I imagine she shared some information with you.”
“I feel…manipulated,” Mari said, angrily pushing her hand through her short brown hair. “Mom was always the softie, and then, well, you know how she deteriorated. But why didn’t you tell me?”
“I couldn’t come between you and Patricia,” Ruby said as gently as she could. “I had promised her I’d honor her request.”
Mari removed the letter from the envelope and handed it to Ruby. “You might as well read it. And then tell me if what I suspect is true.”
* * *
My dearest Mari,
I take no pleasure in writing this letter to you, but I cannot rest until I do. As you must know by now, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. My memory has been fading, and when I think of what lies ahead, it is quite humbling. I vacillate between sadness and fury at this dreadful disease that will rob me of the time I have left. However, if you’re reading this, it means I am finally free of it and at peace in heaven.
It also means that Ruby has decided to share our story with you. I have g
iven her this discretion.
You have been my most beloved child, dear Mari, and I cannot imagine what my life would have been like without you. While we haven’t always agreed, I admire your drive and courage. After that husband of yours left you with little Ariana, you did what you had to do. Although you and I had our share of arguments, I hope you’ve never doubted the love I’ve had for you. From the first moment I saw your sweet little face, you were the child of my heart, loved even more because I could not have children.
Yes, you read that correctly.
You see, I could never carry a child of my own. And yet, I have loved you as if I had. Despite our disagreements, you have shown me your love in countless ways. I want you to know that I forgive every harsh word between us, and I hope you do the same. Let us only recall the good times; there have been so many.
Reading this, you might be angry with me that I have kept this secret for so long. Please forgive me, but it was not only mine to keep.
I am sure your next question will be about the circumstances of your birth. For this, you must speak to my sister. Ruby will answer all your questions because that is her story to tell. She became the star of our family, and I was determined to keep her starlight bright.
Thank you for caring for me all these years, as you must have. I can only imagine what you will have gone through by the time you read this letter. Please know that I am genuinely sorry for this disease that will rob me of precious moments with you. Undoubtedly, I will have been a burden on you, and for this, I ask for your understanding and forgiveness.
I love you always and forever, my darling daughter. And into eternity, I will remain your mother.
Love, Mom
* * *
Ruby lowered the letter. Mari was efficient; she dealt with facts. Ruby had to be direct with her. “You should get comfortable. It’s a long story.”
“Don’t forget I’ve come a long way to find out,” Mari said, crossing her arms.
“First of all, you are indeed my daughter,” Ruby said. “I married when I was seventeen, and you were born when I was barely eighteen. By that time, I’d already worked on three films and had to support the family. Your parents included. There was a drought in Texas that left them penniless.”
“And you’ve accused me of being all about the money,” Mari said. “It’s hard work supporting a family.”
“Yes, it is,” Ruby said, deflecting Mari’s snide remark. “You’ve carried that burden a long time.”
Mari frowned with annoyance. “So, who was my father?”
“Niccolò Mancini. I met him on a film set in Rome, where he lived. After I returned, a series of events occurred, contact ceased, and I could only assume he was dead. I gave birth to you at your parents’ home.”
“Prematurely,” Mari interjected. “I knew that part. But did this Niccolò know you were pregnant?”
“Back then, times were different. Communication was difficult. I had his address in Rome, but that was all. We didn’t think we would be separated very long.”
“Why couldn’t you keep me?” Mari narrowed her eyes. “Or were you too busy going to glitzy Hollywood parties? I’ve seen the photos.”
“It was never like that.” Ruby glared at Mari. “I didn’t have a copy of my marriage certificate, so when someone tipped off the press that I had a child, word spread through the media that I had an illegitimate baby. The studio immediately invoked the morals clause in my contract to terminate me. I would have lost my career, but more than that, your parents—and mine—would have lost their homes and their livelihoods. They’d already been struggling. Those were lean drought years on the ranch.”
“You just gave me up like that?” Mari snapped her fingers dismissively.
“Not at all,” Ruby shot back, anxious to stifle Mari’s attitude. “It nearly crushed me.”
Mari twisted her lips to one side. “Sorry, it’s been a tough week.”
“We all have them.” Though Ruby had expected Mari’s insolence, she’d hoped her daughter would understand. “Everyone was older and more experienced than I was. What they said made a lot of sense. I didn’t want to give you up, Mari. In the end, I did it so that you could have a real childhood.”
“Still, you just left me on the ranch,” Mari said, flinging her hand.
Ruby gripped Mari’s hands. “I couldn’t take you with me. I made one film after another and many on location. It wasn’t as fun or as glamorous as it sounds. But on the ranch, you had a carefree childhood. Remember that horse you loved? Champ. How about the rodeos and your trips to Galveston at that beach house you adored? And your menagerie of pets. You couldn’t have had them in an apartment in L.A. And more than that, you wouldn’t have had the love of two solid parents.”
Subdued, Mari glanced to one side. “I suppose you have a point.”
Feeling her blood pressure rise, Ruby blew out a breath. “Patricia and Michael had already been looking after you whenever I had to work. After the studio took steps to terminate me, my agent came up with an idea to salvage my career. He had a vested interest, of course, but my parents quickly agreed and pressured me, too.”
“Wait. There’s one part I don’t understand,” Mari said. “I checked my birth certificate, which clearly states that my mom gave birth to me. She and my dad are listed on it.”
“That’s right,” Ruby said. “The studios demanded legal proof that the child I’d been charged with having in the tabloids wasn’t mine. Doc Schmidt, a country doctor, delivered you. So, my father and Michael approached him and arranged a deal. I paid the doctor and the local records office clerk to create and back-file a new birth certificate.”
“Wow,” Mari said. “Guess you could do that before computers?”
Ruby nodded. “When your parents produced that, the studio dropped its case against me, and my agent demanded an apology. Finally, the studio reinstated me, and the near-scandal faded away. But I was devastated. I loved you so much, and you were all I had left of my husband.”
Mari stared into her coffee. “I suppose I can understand how you felt,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t imagine being forced to give up Ariana when she was a baby.”
And yet, Mari had effectively given up Ariana to boarding schools. Ruby reined in her thoughts. Mari had been a single parent with a demanding position, reeling from a devastating divorce. She had done the best she could under trying circumstances. And Ruby had been thrilled to help.
“In retrospect, this plan was for the best,” Ruby said. “Patricia and Michael loved you so much, and I was too young to be a proper mother. I was even a little jealous of Patricia for a long time. But I grew up and came to terms with it.”
Mari bent her head, and Ruby heard a muffled sniffle.
“I understand your position,” Mari said. “For years, I beat myself up about my failed marriage. I worked so hard to prove myself. I wasn’t good at being a wife, or even a mother, but I could excel in business. And I did. Maybe I’m like you, after all.”
Ruby smiled at her. “You and I, we’ve both made mistakes, lived with our choices, and grew strong as a result. Ariana is one of us, too. She has the blood of strong women in her.”
Mari drew her hands over her face. “These last few weeks, I’ve had time to think about my mistakes. I should’ve gone to Ariana’s wedding. Worse, I didn’t even call her to see how it went. I guess she went on her honeymoon. Of course, after the way I acted, I couldn’t expect her to call me. So, how was the wedding?”
“Ariana changed her mind and left Phillip at the altar,” Ruby said.
Mari sighed. “I should have been there. Was she shattered?”
“It wasn’t easy,” Ruby said. “But thankfully, she recognized that Phillip wasn’t the one for her.”
Mari tapped her fingers on the table. “Better than a divorce later. I should fly to L.A. after I leave here.”
“You won’t have to.” Ruby touched Mari’s hand, risking a connection. “Ariana is here. And she has a lot to s
hare with you. All I ask is that you listen without judgment. She’s smart, and she’s changing her life for the better.”
“I’ll try,” Mari said, her voice cracking. “This is a rough time for me, too.”
Tentatively, Ruby put her arm around Mari’s shoulders. She hadn’t been able to get this close to Mari since she was a teenager. “Just when you think life is all set, it serves up surprises. We’re all reimagining our lives right now.”
Mari rested her head on Ruby’s shoulder. “Change is scary at my age. A woman in her mid-fifties is ancient for Wall Street,” she said with a bitter laugh. “Many burn out or become disillusioned, and I’ve lasted longer than most.”
Ruby stroked Mari’s short hair. “You probably have plenty of money to retire.”
“I’m fortunate, but I’m not ready to retire,” Mari said. “If you still want me to take over the management of your charitable foundation and portfolio, as you’d mentioned in your letter, I’d like that.”
“I’m quite serious about that,” Ruby said. “I’m going to be even busier than I realized now.” She gazed at her daughter. For the first time in years, Mari seemed to be examining her life. A fresh surge of hope coursed through Ruby. There was still a chance to change their family dynamics.
Mari looked surprised. “Are you making more films?”
Ruby chuckled. “Oh, my dear, you have so much to catch up on. I know there will be a lot to take in, but I hope you’ll allow me to make things up to you.” She motioned to the Villa Fiori. “I have plenty of room, and I’d really like it if you could stay awhile. I know Ariana would like that, too.”
Footsteps sounded behind them, and Ariana’s voice rang out. “Mom? What are you doing here?” Ariana had pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, and her strawberry blond curls tumbled from a haphazard ponytail. Her mouth was set in a thin line—obviously prepared for the worst.
