by Serena Grey
Rachel is still frowning. I give her a reassuring smile. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter.” I squeeze her hand. “Swanson Court International is a very strong institution. I’ve dedicated my life to ensuring that. Even if Evans got a few people to sympathize with him, they’d be on a fool’s errand trying to hurt me.”
That seems to placate her, and she relaxes. We move to other topics and finish our dessert.
After dinner, we head outside. A car is already waiting at the entrance for Wilson and Betsy, and after we say our goodbyes, they leave.
Soon after, Joe pulls up, and I open the door for Rachel, waiting for her to settle inside before going to the other side.
I have my hand on the door handle when I hear the loud sound of an engine revving.
At first, it doesn’t register. It takes me a moment to realize the car is coming in my direction, fast.
Everything slows. The car moving toward me, the sounds…and in my mind all I can see is Rachel’s face. I pull the door handle in my hand and leap inside the car, shutting the door just as a black sedan zooms past, right over where I was standing, so close it almost scrapes the side of my car. The sedan comes to a screeching halt a few feet away.
Even before I push the door open and follow Joe as he approaches the other car, I already know who the driver is, and when Evans climbs out, grinning and weaving on his feet, I can barely control the urge to punch him.
By the time I get to where he’s standing, Joe has him in a viselike grip.
“Are you insane?” I can barely keep the anger from my voice.
“Come on!” he slurs, his eyes going from my face to Joe’s. “It was an accident. I lost control of my car for a moment.”
He’s lying, and he knows we know it.
“You’re a disgrace,” I retort. He flinches and I continue. “Look at yourself, for God’s sake, and try to take responsibility for once.”
“Fuck you, Landon. You think you’re better than me? Fuck you.” He sneers. “You’ve always thought too much of yourself. You think you can go around taking anything you want. I’ll show you.”
“Take him home,” I tell Joe, ignoring Sinclair’s outburst. I hear him spit at me as I walk away, but I don’t bother to respond. He’s a drunken fool and I will not waste my time with him.
Rachel is standing beside our car, watching me with worried eyes.
“Are you all right?”
She nods then glances in Evans’ direction. “He tried to kill you.”
“He’s stupid and drunk.” I open the passenger door and wait for her to climb in, then I go around the hood, getting in the driver’s seat. “Joe will drive him home and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself, or someone else.”
“Shouldn’t you call the police or something?” She’s staring at me, her eyes still wide with fear. “He could have hurt you.”
I don’t want to think about it. “Let’s go home.”
She’s silent throughout the drive, and I can’t even imagine how she must have felt seeing that car come toward me. In the apartment, I can barely let go of her hand. The adrenaline recedes and I’m suddenly aware of how real the danger was.
Rachel is shaking, and when we get into bed, she clutches me tight.
“I’m fine,” I whisper, over and over. “I’m fine.”
Nothing will take me away from you.
I’m up early, especially since I spent the night unable to sleep. In my study, I make a few calls. When I dial Ava’s number, her voice tells me she’s not surprised to hear from me.
“I heard about what happened, Landon. I’m so sorry.”
I can’t keep the impatience out of my voice. “You know that doesn’t cut it.”
She makes a sound. “He’s crazy.”
“And dangerous.”
“Landon…I don’t know what to do. I’m worried about how all this could end.”
The uncertainty in her voice gets to me. I’ve spent the last few months pushing her away without caring if she had any other support. Now, it makes me feel slightly guilty.
I sigh. “I would have called last night, but I didn’t want to wake you. He’s your brother, and he’s out of control. It’s time to stop talking and do something about him.”
“But I don’t know what to do! I’m worried, about him, about you…what he could do. He’s barely functioning, and the drugs aren’t helping.”
She’s crying now.
“Ava…” I don’t know what to say. She has to take care of him, or I will. “Try rehab or a sanatorium. The next time he tries anything like what he did last night, I won’t be so easy on him.”
“What will you do?”
“Nothing, for now. Get him under control. Stage an intervention or something. Convince him he still has a lot going for him and hating me will get him nowhere.”
She sighs. “That’s easy for you to say.”
“He’s not my responsibility, Ava.”
“Yes, I understand…and obviously neither am I.”
I don’t argue. I have other priorities now, and making sure Rachel has nothing to worry about is more important to me than Ava’s feelings.
Later, I find Rachel in the kitchen drinking coffee.
“Good morning.” I peer at her face. “Are you okay?”
She gives me a tight smile and a shrug. “I’m fine. Good morning.”
I can see she’s not fine. I order breakfast and watch Rachel pick at her food.
“So what’s going to happen with Evans?” she asks.
“Don’t worry about it.”
She makes an exasperated sound. “Of course I’m worried. I was there yesterday. If you hadn’t moved out of the way so quickly…”
I wish she would stop thinking about it. “He’s unstable and struggling with substance abuse problems. He’s blaming everyone but himself for everything that’s wrong with his life…but forget about him. He won’t be causing any trouble anymore.”
“Is Ava going to get him into rehab?” she asks. Then, meeting my eyes, she continues. “I was looking for you earlier. I heard part of your conversation with her.” She sighs. “The thing is, no matter how easily you brush last night away…I was afraid, Landon. I still am.”
“Rachel—”
“No, let me finish. It’s not just the physical danger to you. It’s more than that. I don’t like feeling that you let Evans off because of what his sister still means to you.”
“Rachel,” I say gently, “I won’t deny that I tried to be considerate of Ava—not because of what she means to me, but because I would have done the same for anyone else, especially someone I’ve had both a business and a personal relationship with.”
Her throat works, but she stays silent.
“Evans is obviously battling personal issues…and I’m familiar enough with those to have some compassion for him.”
Her eyes flash with barely suppressed anger. “You can’t seriously compare what he’s going through to what you went through. You witnessed an accident and blamed yourself when you shouldn’t have. Evans is a spoiled playboy who is acting out his dissatisfaction in a dangerous way.”
I know she’s right. “Well, he will go to rehab, or he’ll go to jail. Those are the options I will give him. Either way, he won’t be bothering us again.”
Her eyes close. “Okay,” she concedes. “If you’re sure.”
Chapter 33
Rachel spends most of the next week getting ready to go to Barbados for Laurie and Brett’s wedding.
Even with the last-minute shopping and work deadlines, it’s a quiet week for the both of us. We don’t talk much about the incident with Evans, or about Ava. I only tell her that Evans has checked into a facility.
I don’t tell her that only a few days after checking in, he assaulted an orderly and left. His whereabouts are unknown, but the last thing I want is for her to worry about him when she should be enjoying the days leading up to Laurie’s wedding.
Now, on the way to the airport, e
ven though I hate to let Rachel out of my sight even for a few days, I’m relieved she won’t be beside me if he tries anything again.
Joe is driving, and in the front passenger seat is another man, one of the new security additions to my staff. I’ve assured Rachel his presence means nothing. It’s a necessary lie. I don’t want her to be apprehensive about my safety.
Except, it doesn’t work. As the car moves through the busy streets, she’s studying me, her eyes tinged with concern.
“What are you worrying about now?” I ask, smiling to put her at ease.
She smiles back. “Am I so transparent?”
“No, but I’ve made it my business to memorize your every expression.”
She sighs softly. “Stop saying lovely stuff to me. It’s hard enough to leave you as it is.”
“Then don’t go.” For all my relief about her being out of Evan’s reach, it’s still killing me that we’ll be apart for a week. “I want to turn the car around, take you somewhere, and hide you away.” I chuckle wryly. “I love Laurie and I know she’s your family, but I’d rather steal you away than lose you for a week.”
“You’re not losing me. I’m just going to be halfway across the globe.” She laughs softly. “Does it help that I feel the same way you do?”
“No. That just gives me more incentive to want to steal you away.” The tender expression in her eyes makes me catch my breath. “I know I’m being selfish.”
“You’re not selfish. I’ll miss you too, terribly. It’s just…however tempting it is, we can’t lock ourselves away forever.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
Her laughter soothes me. “I don’t want to go a day without you, not ever, if it can be helped at all.”
The car stops. Not far away on the tarmac is the jet I provided to take her family to Barbados.
“I love you,” she whispers. Her eyes go to the front passenger seat and her face falls. She looks at me. “I need you to be safe.”
“I will be.”
She sighs. “Landon…” Her eyes are on mine. “Will you at least think of talking to someone about your nightmares? Whatever you’re afraid of…”
I swallow. My nightmares have been getting worse—another thing we haven’t discussed.
“The only thing I’m afraid of is losing you.”
“You won’t.”
“How about you start thinking about the kind of welcome you’re going to give me when I do get to Barbados.”
“I’ll give you the tourist treatment, show you the sights.”
I grin. “I know the sights I want to see, and I don’t have to fly miles and miles to see them.”
“You have a one-track mind.”
“You make me unable to think of anything else.”
She sighs. “I hate that I have to go now.”
I nuzzle her lips, memorizing the feel and taste of her. “I hate that I have to let you.”
Her phone rings, interrupting us. It’s her mother.
“I love you,” Rachel says, pressing another kiss to my lips.
I grab her arms and kiss her properly. “I love you too. Call me when you land.”
As a preview of what my life would be like without Rachel in it, the next two days are excruciatingly lonely. The silence of my apartment is no longer comforting. It just feels empty without her.
The third day of her absence, I head to San Francisco. I have a lot to discuss with the management team at the Gold Dust, and it takes up most of my morning. I spend lunchtime visiting with Cameron and Jules then arrange an early dinner with Ava.
I didn’t tell Rachel I was meeting with her, but now, as I wait in my suite for Ava to arrive, I consider that I should have. But then, I’d have to tell her why. I still don’t see why I should ruin her time in Barbados with the news that Evans is walking around, probably looking for ways to hurt me.
The door opens and Ava walks into the suite, trailed by Claude. She’s dressed demurely in white silk, and though perfectly made up, her eyes are filled with concern.
“Oh Landon!”
She comes in for an embrace, and I extricate myself after a quick hug.
“I’m so sorry,” she continues. “I really thought he’d stay in rehab until he got better.”
My smile is tight. “Obviously you were wrong.” I motion for her to sit. “Claude, why don’t you arrange to have dinner sent up?”
Almost reluctantly, he leaves me alone with Ava. She settles on an armchair. “Are you going to try to find him?”
“I have to know where he is, Ava.”
She sniffs. “I understand how you feel. When I heard he tried to hurt you, I swear, Landon…I…” Her voice breaks.
I watch her wipe her eyes. A hotel staff member arrives, wheeling in our food, and he lays it out it in the dining room.
“Why don’t we eat,” I suggest. “We can talk about Evans later.”
She follows me to the table. With the food and wine, she is soon relaxed and regaling me with stories of her last trip to Europe, including running into two exes at a party. I feign interest. I think she knows where Evans is, and I need to get that information out of her.
After dinner, I refill her glass. “When was the last time you saw him?”
“Evans?” She’s taken aback by the change in subject. “I…um…”
I don’t take my eyes off hers. “You can’t protect him forever.”
“You don’t understand.” She pushes the glass away. “He’s unstable. My uncle is suing for conservatorship—did you know that? He’ll lose access to his money, his independence… His accounts are already frozen, all because of…”
“Of me?”
“I didn’t say that.” She sighs. “He blames you. He thinks if he hadn’t lost the hotel—”
“That’s bull and you know it. He’d have lost the hotel anyway.”
“I know that.” She rises gracefully to her feet and walks to the windows. Through the sheer curtains, the sunset paints the sky in many vibrant colors.
Rachel would love this sunset.
Rachel.
I miss her.
“I need to know where he is.” I’m losing my patience. “It’s bad enough he wants to hurt me, but I can’t let the people around me be in danger too.”
“The people around you.” She spits out the words. “It used to be me you cared about, Landon. All these years, I thought if I waited long enough…”
The words trail off, but I know what she was going to say. Her flirting, her interest in my relationships…all of it should have told me she was still deeply invested in the idea of us.
Slowly, I rise from my seat. “I’m sorry to have disappointed you, but my main concern at this point is finding out where Evans is.”
She exhales. “He came to see me. He wanted some money…”
“God! Ava!”
“He said he wanted to travel,” she says in a rush. “To get away from it all.” Her eyes are imploring. “I couldn’t say no, Landon. Without you, he’s all I have.”
“Ava.” My voice is firm. “You never had me.”
Her eyes fill with tears, but I don’t move. “All those years ago, I thought…we were too young…you had so much work ahead of you… I tried not to mind that you chose your precious hotels over me, but now? Her? What does she—”
I stop her. “Don’t even talk about her.”
“Why? Because she’s so precious to you?”
“Exactly. I love her, and if you want me to help you find Evans and ensure he gets the treatment he needs, you won’t say one more word about her.”
“You can’t—”
My phone trills in my pocket. It’s Rachel. Relief at the interruption makes me accept the connection without thinking. Only after do I consider that it’s not a good time to talk.
“I can’t talk now,” I say softly. “I’ll call you later.”
“I suppose that’s the girlfriend.” Ava’s voice is bitter. Her lips curl. �
�How like her to somehow interrupt the minute I finally get a moment with you.”
At my glare, she turns her sulky expression back to the window.
“Hello?” Rachel’s voice comes through the phone, full of questions I can’t answer right now.
“I’m here,” I tell her. “I’ll call you later.”
“Who is that?” Her voice is thin. “Who’s there with you?”
I wish I could lie. I wish it was anyone else. “Ava.”
She doesn’t reply. I hear the sudden beep as she ends the call.
Ava is watching me, and the wounded, sad, helpless expression is back. “Landon—” she starts.
“I’ll find Evans,” I tell her in a dry, dismissive tone. “I’ll let you know when I do.”
She pauses. “I know he’s dangerous, and I know why you feel the way you do. He’s my brother, and even I’m afraid of him.”
“Yet you gave him money and didn’t think to let anyone know.”
“I—”
“You should leave now.” I don’t bother to hide how pissed I am. “If you’re so afraid of him, you can stay here for now. Claude will arrange a suite for you.” That’s the best I can offer.
She inhales.
“I’ll show you out.”
Her eyes register hurt and betrayal, but I don’t care. I’m more concerned with what Rachel is thinking.
For the rest of the evening, Rachel doesn’t take my calls. I finally give up and spend a long time on the phone with Jed, discussing what we can do to locate Evans and make sure he can’t get near any of my properties. When I try to reach Rachel again, she still doesn’t answer.
I finally call the hotel and ask to be transferred to her room. That works. When she takes the call, I can tell from her tone that she doesn’t expect it to be me.
By then, I’m frustrated, and it shows in my voice. “Are you avoiding my calls?”
“How was Ava?” she demands without missing a beat.
“So that’s it, isn’t it?” I sigh tiredly. I have more to worry about than her mistaken assumptions about Ava and me, and I wish she could see that. “You were ignoring my calls because I met with Ava? How about trying not to interpret every single situation to confirm your insecurities?”
