“The ice cream shop girl?” KP asked. “Isn’t Gigley a lot old for her?”
“They’re not romantically involved,” I said. “Emily is using Tom as her lawyer for something. When we brought it up, he got weird and defensive. We think it might involve this investigation somehow.”
“The ice cream shop girl’s in legal trouble?” KP said. “What did she do, rob the mint chocolate chip factory?”
Miss May took a big bite of pizza. “We’re not sure. That’s part of the mystery. All we know is that Todd was a jerk to Emily. Then Emily skipped town as soon as Todd died. And she’s been sketchy through this whole investigation.”
“Sounds like the killer to me,” said Big Dan. “Even ice cream shop girls can snap and kill in cold blood. Huh. Cold blood. That’s funny because she sells ice cream.”
“Very funny,” said Teeny. “So what do you girls think we should do now?”
“We need to go see Emily.” Miss May grabbed the water pitcher and refilled it at the kitchen sink. “She said she was going to a spa, right? But she didn’t mention which one.”
“She could have been going anywhere on the east coast,” I said. “How are we going to narrow things down?”
Teeny waved my concern away. “I know which spa Emily was going to. The Hudson Inn and Spa in Peekskill.”
Miss May returned to the table and began filling everyone’s water glasses. “How do you know that?”
“She said she was going to get a volcanic body scrub, which sounded so nice to me I looked it up. The Hudson Inn and Spa’s the only spot in the area with that offering.”
Miss May looked at Teeny funny.
Teeny shrugged. “I like the sound of volcanic spa treatments. So what?”
KP chuckled. “Big Dan, I think you know what to get Teeny for her next birthday.”
Big Dan looked up from his slice of pizza. “Say what now?”
22
Farm to Table
The woman at the front desk of the Hudson Inn and Spa was so snobby she might as well have been a poodle herself. She had a tight, black ponytail, her makeup was perfect, and she was fit and thin.
“I’m sorry. Terribly sorry, really. But I’m afraid I can’t grant you access to the property unless you plan to stay here at the Hudson Inn and Spa, the Hudson Valley’s leading spa and the only regional spa that offers volcanic body scrubs.”
“You said that already,” said Miss May. “But we’re looking for an old friend. We’ll only be here half an hour, at most. Can you make an exception?”
The woman winced. “I cannot. If I make an exception for you, then I’ll have to make an exception for every farmer that stumbles through the door.”
“That’s not how exceptions work,” I said quietly.
Miss May put her hands on her hips. “And how did you know that I’m a farmer?”
“Oh,” said the woman, in a pitying tone, “I didn’t know. But I suppose it does make sense. You’re wearing overalls and your boots are muddy. It’s not the good mud either, like the kind we use in our volcanic body scrubs. It’s…regular mud. Not from a volcano. It’s OK. We have a terrific janitorial staff.”
The front desk woman looked off to the side. There stood a janitor, mop at the ready. The woman gave the janitor a small nod and he nodded back, apparently prepared to disinfect the spot where we were standing as soon as we left.
“Wow,” said Miss May. “You are so rude. You know what? Fine. We’ll find our friend another way.”
Teeny poked her head up. “Unless we got a room. We could get a room, that’s all I’m saying. Three scuzzy farmer ladies like us? We deserve to be pampered too. And I’ve heard great things about those volcanic body scrubs.”
The woman did some typing on her computer. “We have one room available. Two queen beds. Five hundred dollars for the night.”
“That’s absurd,” said Miss May. “You can rent a full guest cabin on my fruit and fir farm for a week for that price! Five hundred dollars, I would never in all my life—”
“I’ll pay it.” Teeny pulled her wallet out of her purse. She looked over at me and Miss May. “Happy birthday and Merry Christmas to the both of you for the next year. This is my treat. And I’m getting each of us a volcanic body scrub.”
Miss May pulled Teeny aside. “Teeny. We don’t need to pay for access to this place. We can sneak in through the back or pose as waiters in the restaurant. I’m sure there’s another way we can find Emily.”
Teeny glared at Miss May. “This isn’t about Emily anymore. I want a scrub. Don’t take that away from me.”
Miss May hung her head. “OK, fine. But dinner’s on me tonight.”
Teeny smiled and turned back to the snobby poodle woman. “We’ll take the room. And a 7 PM dinner reservation to go with it. And also three volcanic body scrubs as soon as possible.”
“My first availability for volcanic body scrubs is tomorrow morning.”
“Deal.” Teeny handed the woman her credit card with a big grin. “This is the best day of my life.”
Although the price was steep, our room at the spa was gorgeous. The view overlooked the Hudson River. Each bed was made with perfect, white linens. There were gourmet truffles perched on all four pillows. And the carpet was so soft and plush it felt like wearing slippers when you walked barefoot.
The jacuzzi bathtub was big enough to fit an offensive lineman from the New York Giants. The shower had one of those showerheads that simulates rain and falls from the center of the ceiling. And the robes were made from the same stuff as the carpet, as far as I could tell. Soft and luxurious, unlike anything I had ever worn before.
Miss May, Teeny and I took turns getting showered and putting on our robes. Then we all three flopped onto a single bed and turned on an episode of House Hunters.
Aren’t home-improvement shows the most comforting type of television? I love watching the renovation process. And the before and after photos at the end of the show are so satisfying. Every episode is a reminder that change is good and that growth is nothing to fear. OK, maybe I was watching more for the mindless entertainment than the whole growth reminder, but still…
The spa’s upscale dining establishment was called the Riverview Restaurant. As you can probably guess, every table had a view of the river, as did most of the inn. The walls were made from gorgeous, gray stone. The tables were deep mahogany. And the chairs were the most comfortable restaurant chairs I’d ever sat in, plush and leather with sturdy arms.
Once we were situated, the waiter arrived with a basket of warm, homemade bread and fresh country butter. The bread was almost pure white inside with a golden brown crust. The butter melted as soon as it hit the bread and it all melted further in my mouth. I finished my first slice in three bites and then reached for another. “This is the best bread I’ve ever had.”
“And the best butter,” said Miss May.
Teeny smiled. “See? I was right. This is a great experience.”
“Sure,” said Miss May. “Except we haven’t remembered to look for Emily for a single instant. We spent all afternoon watching house shows and trying to figure out what our robes were made of.”
“It’s important for every amateur sleuth to get her rest and relaxation,” Teeny said. “We need to stay fresh to avoid succumbing to the stress of the job.”
“What are you two going to order?” said Miss May.
I knew as soon as I opened the menu. “Mushroom risotto. With a side of garlic mashed potatoes and another side of oven roasted broccoli. And I think I’ll get the ice cream sundae for dessert.”
Miss May chuckled. “Sounds delicious. I’m thinking maybe the salmon. It comes with asparagus and lemon, that sounds so good.”
“What about you, Teeny?” I asked.
“Three more baskets of this bread.”
We all laughed as Teeny grabbed two slices of bread at once. I was pretty sure she wasn’t kidding about eating the bread for dinner.
The three of us cha
tted about life and love and everything in between as we savored our delicious dinners. Teeny told us that her relationship with Big Dan was going well. She said he had his quirks but she liked that, and the two of them had been getting along. Then she turned the conversation to Miss May. “I think John Wentworth could be your Big Dan, May.”
Miss May shook her head. “I don’t need a Big Dan in my life. No offense to Big Dan, he seems…odd but lovely. Just…I’m happy with what I have. No romance required.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Miss May. Everybody needs a little romance. And Mr. Wentworth is so sweet to you.”
“He comes on too strong,” said Miss May. “If I was going to have a partner in my life, he would need to be more subtle and understated.”
“So you’re playing hard to get,” said Teeny. “We’re too old for that, May. If you play hard to get for too long you’ll be really hard to get because you’ll be dead.”
“Do you not think Mr. Wentworth is cute?” I said. “He has nice eyes and he can walk.”
Miss May laughed. “Is that all I deserve? A man who can walk?”
“That’s not what I was saying,” I said, laughing. “Mr. Wentworth is in good shape, that’s what I meant to say. He seems active.”
“Whatever,” said Miss May. “I don’t want to talk about my love life. I want to talk about yours. What’s up with Wayne?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Every time we start the metaphorical car, it breaks down after a few miles.”
“But is that because of a problem between the two of you or just circumstance?” Miss May asked.
“Circumstance,” said Teeny. “They can’t help it if a dead body shows up on their date. From what I heard, they had a wonderful night before that, enjoying my baked macaroni and the fancy backroom of the restaurant.”
“You’re right,” I said. “Thank you for that, by the way. It was special.”
“You’re special,” said Teeny. “I think Wayne sees that in you. That’s why I like him.”
“But he can be so annoying during these investigations,” I said. “Maybe it’s too complicated, an amateur detective dating an actual detective… There’s always something for us to disagree over.”
Miss May shook her head. “Deep down, Wayne doesn’t disagree with anything we do. But he needs to publicly be against us or Chief Flanagan will fire him. And the man needs a job. You can’t blame him for that.”
“Yeah. But…” I spotted someone across the room and trailed off. I stammered.
“What’s going on?” Teeny asked, like she was talking to a dog who had suddenly sat up from a nap, alert. “What do you see?”
I choked out the words. “Emily is here. At—at the restaurant. And she’s eating dinner with Todd’s wife.”
23
Russian to Conclusions
“Looks like they’re in cahoots.” Teeny glared over in Emily and Eve’s direction. “That’s the only explanation. They killed Todd together. One held the gun and the other pulled the trigger.”
“That sounds cumbersome,” I whispered. “And impractical. Also, Todd wasn’t shot.”
Teeny rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“What are we going to do now?” Miss May asked. “Should we go talk to them?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. If the two of them are up to no good we shouldn’t ambush them. They both know that we’re working on this investigation. If they feel threatened they may disappear or do something rash.”
“But we need to know what they’re up to.” Teeny took a big bite of bread. “My goodness this bread is delicious.”
“I have an idea.” I looked from Teeny and then over to Miss May. “I think it’s a good one.”
“So tell us,” Miss May said.
“First, the three of us need to exit the restaurant. Not this second, but as soon as I’m done talking. Don’t look in their direction. We’ll slip out the side door and head up to the room. Then I’ll call down and tell them to bring our food up to the room along with the bill.”
Miss May nodded. “What’s second?”
“I brought my Russian grandma disguise in my suitcase. I think I should put it on and come back down here. See what I can learn.”
“But you were right,” Miss May said. “This might be dangerous. I don’t think—”
“I’ll be fine. It’s a good disguise. It fooled Teeny even when I was sitting with the two of you. And I’ve met Teeny a bunch of times. Besides do you have a better idea?”
Miss May shook her head. “Let’s get out of here.”
The three of us rose at once. Then, quietly, we pushed in our chairs, turned, and walked toward the exit. “Remember we can’t look back in their direction. The last thing we want to do is make eye contact,” I said. “Imagine we’re like…Lot’s wife. We’ll turn to salt.”
“But it’s so hard not to look,” said Teeny. “Anyway, Lot didn’t turn to salt. Lot was fine.”
“We’re ten feet from the exit. Stay strong.” I stepped out in front of Miss May and Teeny and led the way. I caught the eye of our waiter as we left. I wanted to indicate that everything was fine, and for some reason that prompted me to give him the peace sign. He gave me the peace sign back, confused. And we brushed past him without saying a word.
Seconds later, we were back in the main body of the inn, huddled near the business center, breathing a collective sigh of relief.
“Good job, ladies,” I said. “We made it out.”
“The suspense almost killed me.” Teeny shook out her hands to loosen up. “It also kills me to be so far away from that basket of bread.”
“Emily’s coming! Quick, hide.” Miss May gestured toward the restaurant. Sure enough, Emily was slipping past a couple of waiters, headed toward the exit. My eyes darted around, looking for a hiding place.
“The business center,” I said. “Everybody sit at a computer and act natural. Pretend like you’re checking your email. Don’t look in her direction.”
The three of us pushed into the business center and sat at the computers. I pretended to type but kept one eye on the hallway. After a few seconds, Emily bustled past the business center and headed for the bathroom in the hall. She did not see us.
Once again, I breathed a sigh of relief. We were safe. At least for a little while longer.
Teeny laughed as we entered our room and immediately flopped down onto the bed. “That was a close call. How did I do in the business center? I never check my email, but I tried to make it believable.”
“You were clicking too much but you did fine,” I said. “And you did great, Miss May.”
“I checked my email for real,” said Miss May. “Got a coupon from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Every three days they give me 20% off, but I never shop there. What’s with that?”
I shrugged. “Promotions, I guess.”
“So you’re going to head back down to the restaurant?” Miss May asked, looking over at me.
I crossed to my suitcase and pulled out my fat suit and dress. I responded in my thick, Russian accent. “Anna Kournikova needs her dinner, too.”
I re-entered the restaurant full disguised and hobbling. A waiter approached with a courteous smile. “Greetings, ma’am. Do you have a reservation with us this evening?”
I slipped the kid a fifty dollar bill and spoke in my Russian accent. “I need the table over by the window. Near those two ladies.”
The waiter looked at the money in his hand and then looked back up at me. He studied my face, and for a moment, I was afraid he might recognize me. Then he gave a gentle nod. “I think we can accommodate that request. Right this way.”
The waiter led me to the table adjacent to Emily and Eve and I sat down, careful to keep my back to them for extra precaution. The waiter asked me what I wanted and I replied in an instant. “One loaf of hot bread with extra butter.”
“All you want is a loaf of bread?” said the man.
“I eat more later,” I said. �
�But for now, you leave me alone. Thank you.”
The waiter hurried away and I leaned back in an attempt to catch some of the conversation between Emily and Eve. Neither noticed my arrival, and they spoke in clear, loud voices.
“We lost a husband and a father, sure,” said Eve. “But that husband and father was also our plumber, and gardener, and the guy who screwed in the light bulbs. With Todd gone, we don’t have the money to keep living in our house, let alone the money to pay you what you’re asking.”
“I understand where you’re coming from.” Emily’s voice was calm and composed, as always. She always impressed me with her ability to handle difficult people. “But your husband caused me serious emotional hardship. Ever since he entered my life, I’ve struggled to sleep and I’ve had terrible nightmares. I don’t think you understand how much your husband had been tormenting me. He threatened me all the time. I’m not talking about my business. He threatened me personally. Said he’d kill me if I didn’t do what he asked. I understand that he’s not around anymore, and I’m sorry for that. But I filed this suit long before Todd died. I don’t feel his death excuses him, or you, from his actions.”
I widened my eyes. From the sound of it, Emily was suing Todd for harassing her. And she refused to drop the suit after Todd’s murder.
“I hear you,” said Eve, voice beginning to shake. “And I agree. Todd’s passing doesn’t excuse him from his actions. The guy caused me hardship too! I wish I could posthumously divorce him! But his death does excuse me and my kids. We’re not Todd. We didn’t harass you. He did. And we’re broke, especially now that he’s gone. I spent my last few bucks paying for this dinner, trying to talk some sense into you.”
“I can’t be bribed by a fancy meal,” said Emily. “This lawsuit—"
Eve interrupted. “My husband is dead. I’m dead broke. You’ve got a good business. You’ve got money coming in. Can’t we put this behind us? I’ve got children.”
No Cone Unturned (Apple Orchard Cozy Mystery Book 12) Page 10
