‘I know how she feels,’ Ellie cried. ‘And I’m sorry for what she’s going through but no matter how bad she’s feeling, there’s no need to burst in on me like that.’
‘We’d been planning to get divorced for some time but hadn’t got round to it. I wanted to get on with finally making things official and asked her to come down here after Christmas.’ He sighed. ‘But when this bastard let her down, she freaked out, booked a hotel and headed straight here. She admits she wasn’t in the best frame of mind when she tracked you down to work.’
‘I’m sorry about that. Sorry that she’s hurt, but even if the café had been empty, it wouldn’t have mattered. The point is that you didn’t tell me you were married. In fact, you openly denied there was anyone else in your life.’
‘That’s because there isn’t.’ He sounded desperate, but Ellie wasn’t softened. ‘Liza and I haven’t seen each other for years. We got married in the States when I was nineteen and in Cyprus for some R&R after my first tour. I was – it was a bad time, a crazy time, and we hooked up after a night in a bar in Paphos. A week later we decided to go to Vegas to a wedding chapel.’ He stopped and closed his eyes briefly.
‘I realised that it was a crazy idea and we knew by the time we were home that we’d made a mistake. I went back on tour; Liza was working as a singer, all over the world. We meant to get a divorce but,’ he took a breath, ‘I guess we just never got round to it before.’
‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me about her instead of lying?’
‘I didn’t mean it to be a lie. I thought it would be less … complicated to sort it out myself and I was sure I could. Not even Mum and Dad know. They’d hit the roof. Marriage is important to them, and it is to me too … commitment and loyalty are, though you may not think so at the moment. They’d be devastated to know I did it on a drunken weekend in Vegas. They’re so proud of me. I love them and I don’t want to destroy that. I didn’t want to hurt you or complicate things when it was over twenty years ago.’ He passed his hand over his eyes. ‘I’ve been a complete and utter idiot.’
Ellie resisted the urge to agree. ‘Why didn’t you deal with this years ago?’
‘Like I said, we just never got around to it, and us both being away such a lot didn’t help. At first, we kept meaning to but then we lost touch completely. I knew I had to sort it out and I fully intended to. I managed to track Liza down through Facebook and saw that she was coming home over Christmas so I thought it was finally time to deal with it. Especially since I’ve met you and we had grown so close. I had no idea she’d suddenly decide to land here out of the blue.’
‘The past comes back to haunt you, Aaron. That’s the problem,’ Ellie retorted.
‘Yeah. Well, now I’ve learned the hard way.’
‘Anything else I should know about while you’re at it?’ she asked, stinging from his revelations about Liza. She felt light-headed, with exhaustion and shock, and her head had started to ache again.
‘Nothing I want to tell you about now.’
‘Right. Other secrets.’ It felt as if all the relationships around her were turning to ashes.
‘Not secrets, so much as things I’m ashamed of. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my time.’ His tone was bitter. ‘There are times I’ve got things wrong and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my days.’
Mistakes. Was he referring to his army career? Ellie knew that was unblemished; Evie had told her he’d even won a medal and now Ellie realised she’d no idea what he might have been through. She hardly knew him at all, but that hadn’t stopped her from falling in love with him.
‘None of this is relevant to not telling you about Liza,’ he said. He straightened up and put his shoulders back as if he was facing a court-martial and ready to take all responsibility. ‘And you’re right. I did lie to you and I’m so sorry. It was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done and I’ll do anything I can to make up for it and gain your trust again because, dear Ellie, I don’t want to lose you. I love you, even though it’s too late to say that now.’
His eyes glittered and Ellie’s resolve wobbled. He seemed on the verge of tears: this big, strong man she’d handed her hopes of a brighter future to.
He loved her.
And she believed him.
A crack opened up in the wall of anger that was protecting her from bursting into tears. She’d made mistakes with Julian. Aaron had listened to those and been non-judgemental and kind.
She loved him too, yet that wasn’t enough. He’d shattered her trust, and it probably was too late.
‘I wish you’d been honest with me,’ she murmured, disappointment crushing her into the depths of despair. ‘I can handle that you’re married, that it was years ago, but what I can’t deal with is that you didn’t tell me. You lied to me when I asked if there was anyone else.’
‘There isn’t anyone else. I swear on my life.’
Ellie winced. The pulse in her temple threatened one of her occasional migraines and she sure as hell didn’t need that on top of everything else. She wished she’d never said yes to the whisky.
‘Liza is my wife in name only. There’s nothing between us apart from friendship.’
‘How do you know she thinks that?’
‘Because it’s true, and you know it too. Please, Ellie, give me some time and another chance.’ He reached out for her but she turned away, wrapping her arms around herself defensively.
‘I am so sorry I’ve hurt you. It’s my fault. I should have told you. I would … you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I didn’t want you to think badly of me. I didn’t want to tell you how lightly I once treated marriage. Not when I know you’re a good person, that you value love and commitment. Not when you’ve been let down so badly before.’
‘Don’t blame me for this. It’s not the way I am that made you lie.’
‘It’s not the way I am, either. Not then, not now.’
She shook her head, unable to form her turbulent thoughts into words. He didn’t ask again, didn’t plead – not that she would have listened anyway. The voices of shock and disappointment had drowned out any reason. She had to be as far away from him as possible.
‘You know, there have been times when I saw things happen to mates and innocent bystanders …’
Aaron spoke so softly, Ellie had to turn around to hear. ‘Times when I was only yards away. Instantly, before the dust had settled, almost in the fraction of a second before the flash … I knew it was all over for them.’
She stared at him, saw the resignation in his expression. ‘This feels like one of those moments. There’s no coming back from this, is there?’
‘I – I need to go home. Be on my own. Please don’t call me.’
‘If that’s what you want.’
‘It’s not what I want. It’s the last thing I want, but right now, it’s what I need.’
Her head throbbed sickeningly. She let herself out of the cottage and walked into the darkness, tears half blinding her. The moon came from behind a cloud, showing her the path to Seaholly Manor. The sea boomed behind her, foamy in the half-light. She heard the door close behind her. An aura of coloured lights formed ahead of her, appearing from nowhere in the half-light. She knew she was in for a migraine.
She had to get home.
She should have relied on her own intuition; been much more guarded, not handed him her trust and her bloody heart on a platter: Here you are, Aaron, carve this up and feed it to the crows, why don’t you? I’m gullible, trusting Ellie who loves being let down by blokes.
She’d lost Aaron. She needed to be on her own, but then, she needed to go home to her family. To Scarlett, her mother … and to her dad, but he wasn’t there.
Never had she felt the fragmentation of her family more than in this moment. Her whole world appeared to be caving in around her.
She had the terrible feeling that Aaron was right. There was no coming back from this.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The moment she pulled up, her mother appeared in the porch and dashed out onto the drive. She had the door open before Scarlett had the chance.
‘Scarlett! What on earth has happened to you? We’ve been so worried about you. Why didn’t you answer my calls? I expected the police to call me at any moment.’
‘My phone battery died and I left the charger at home.’
Anna hugged her, almost squeezing the life out of her. It was the first time in ages that she’d had such a spontaneous, heartfelt embrace from her mum. She let the hug go on a second or two before they both stepped back.
‘The weather looked horrendous on the TV. I was so worried.’
‘It’s been a bit difficult,’ Scarlett said, playing down her journey. ‘But some people have had things much worse. So many people have had to abandon their cars. I’m lucky.’
‘Well, come in by the fire. You look frozen.’
‘I’m OK. Honestly.’
‘Is that your father’s old gardening coat?’
‘Yes. I needed an extra layer.’ She walked in ahead of her mother and despite her weariness, burst into a smile.
‘Oh my God, who got the tree? I didn’t think we were ever going to get one.’
‘Well, I thought it would be more cheerful and that you’d enjoy it. Someone from art class helped me to collect it in his van and set it up in here.’
‘It’s huge!’
Her mum smiled. ‘It was all they had left, and while I had the offer of help, I took it.’
The tree was magnificent, almost touching the ceiling. Even though her mum must have used all Joan’s decorations and a few extras, it could still have taken more, and patches were bare. Scarlett vowed to buy some more decorations to fill the gaps, she couldn’t bear it to be unfinished.
While Scarlett was heartened to see the tree, she couldn’t help thinking of how much her dad had always enjoyed going to the forestry centre when the Latham kids were young, and her parents still continued the tradition. She thought of the doubt and loneliness in his voice when she’d spoken to him, and her heart ached.
‘I’ve almost finished decorating it.’ Anna cut into her thoughts. ‘I hope you don’t mind. It gave me something to do while I was worrying.’
‘No …’ Scarlett was struck by a pang of guilt. Her mother must have been very anxious about her. ‘I’m sorry to have worried you, Mum,’ she said, meaning it. ‘Where’s Ellie?’
‘I don’t know. She should be home by now and she’s not answering her phone. Why don’t you try now and let her know you’re OK? Sit down while I get you a hot drink.’ Her mother handed her the landline handset. ‘I’ll make one while you get changed.’
Scarlett hung her dad’s coat up in the cloakroom and tried Ellie’s mobile, but there was no answer. She must be with Aaron, Ellie thought, or off on a secret present-buying mission. Maybe Ellie had left a message on Scarlett’s dormant mobile.
With her phone charging by the bed, she scooted into the shower, luxuriating in the feeling of being warm and safe after her exhausting journey.
She changed into sweatpants and a hoodie, while texts and WhatsApp messages pinged and beeped when the phone woke up.
Oh no … three texts and a call from her father, asking if she was alive. She replied quickly to say she was fine. There was one from Ellie that was hours old wishing her a safe journey then five from her mother … and one from Jude.
Sorry to bother you. Just a quickie to see if you are OK because your mum called to see if I’d heard from you. I’ve seen the snow on the news. If and when you get this, text me to let me know you’re home.
So, even though he’d said he wouldn’t bother her, he cared enough to break that silence and see if she was OK.
Jude was solid gold. She might have been a tiny bit in love with him before the festival.
She was safe at home but all her problems were still here. In fact, they loomed even larger. Lovely, gorgeous Jude deserved an explanation, however painful and horrible that would be. She was going to have to broach her fears with him …
She quickly texted Ellie back to say she was home, anticipating a reply if and when Ellie had a signal. Then she took her phone and charger downstairs and plugged it in next to the chair, reluctant to be far from it again.
Her mother walked in with a tray of steaming mugs and plates of food. ‘Here you go. I warmed a few mince pies. I made them earlier so they might not be up to Ellie’s standards. I cut a slice of Christmas cake too. It’s not quite ready but I think you need it.’ She smiled.
‘Thanks, Mum.’
Scarlett accepted the tea, sipped it and the warm liquid filled her veins. She bit into the mince pie and tried to swallow it. She was starving, but now, safe and surrounded by the comforts of home, the adrenaline that had kept her going through the blizzard had evaporated. The twinkling fairy lights reminded her of previous Christmases with their innocence and blissful ignorance.
‘You do like the tree?’ Anna asked.
She nodded, crumbs and unshed tears clogging her throat. ‘Ellie will love it, I’m sure.’
‘I must admit I’m getting slightly worried about her.’
‘She’s probably with Aaron,’ Scarlett said.
‘Hmm.’
There was the crunch of footsteps on gravel.
‘That sounds like her now.’ Anna peered around the curtains. ‘It is,’ she said.
Shortly afterwards the front door opened and Ellie walked in. However, it wasn’t the bouncy, smiling Ellie they expected, but an Ellie with a tear-stained face and slumped shoulders.
Scarlett met her halfway across the room. ‘Ellie. What’s the matter?’
Their mother hurried to her side. ‘What’s happened to you, darling?’
‘Don’t worry, I’m OK. Physically.’ Ellie hugged her mother and shot Scarlett an agonised look. ‘It’s Aaron. I should have known better than to trust any man by now, I suppose. I just found out he’s not who I thought he was.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Even though she’d been dying to get home, Ellie’s heart sank to her boots. Telling her mum and Scarlett was almost as bad as hearing the news in the first place and made her headache even worse.
‘What do you mean, “not who you thought he was”?’ Scarlett demanded.
‘He’s married. Getting a divorce, as a matter of fact, but it would have been nice if he’d told me about his not-so-ex. She waltzed into the café this morning and informed me she was his wife and would be naming me as co-respondent in the divorce.’
‘No way! You’re joking!’
‘It’ll be all round town by now.’
Their mother clapped her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh, darling. This is horrible for you.’
Scarlett was instantly on the warpath. ‘I can’t believe Aaron would lie to you like that. I had no idea he was married!’
Ellie allowed herself a fleeting inner smile at Scarlett’s loyalty before going back to the reality of a situation which no amount of righteous indignation would solve.
‘Me neither. Nor his parents and sister. He married her – Liza – years ago after a whirlwind romance. They’ve been meaning to get the divorce ever since but lost touch while he was in the army.’
‘What a cow to come to your workplace and humiliate you like that!’ Scarlett declared.
‘What a nasty thing to do,’ their mother said. ‘This Liza must be a real charmer.’
‘In one way, I can hardly blame her, even though it was a shock at the time. She’s just been let down by her latest boyfriend and she’s a volatile character, according to Aaron.’
‘She must be to burst into the café like that!’
‘Yes … but she’d
already headed down here for the festival, wanting to see Aaron and maybe use him as a shoulder to cry on.’
Scarlett let out a snort but Ellie was willing to be a little more forgiving of Liza now she’d heard what had happened. ‘She saw us together aboard the Marisco, looked me up on the sailing trust website then asked around at the hotel and found out where I worked.’
‘She sounds quite a character. You must have been very shocked when she turned up at the café,’ Anna said gently.
‘She’s certainly a character but she was obviously in quite a state herself,’ Ellie muttered before firming up her voice. ‘Aaron reckons she won’t follow through with naming me, but if she’s as unpredictable as he says, who knows? And it’s not the point. The point is he didn’t tell me. He let me think he was free.’ Voicing her hurt to her nearest and dearest opened the wounds all over again and reminded her of the yawning chasm that had been opened between her and Aaron. ‘I’ve just had a massive row with Aaron about it. Sorry to put a dampener on the Christmas spirit.’
Ellie flopped down on the sofa next to Scarlett, and leaned back against the cushion with her eyes closed. ‘You think your life is all going well. You find a place to settle and someone decent – special – to share it with, and then, kaboom, someone blows your cosy little dream sky high.’
She opened her eyes, realising the irony of what she’d said. The lights on the tree made her head pulse and feel sick.
‘We all know how that feels,’ Scarlett said quietly.
Ellie patted her hand. ‘I didn’t mean you, lovely.’
‘Sounds like you need a large G&T,’ Anna said. ‘In fact, I think we all do.’
Ellie held up her hand. ‘Thanks, but not me, Mum, I’ve got a splitting headache.’
‘Do you want some of your migraine tablets?’
‘Yes, please. Then I think I’ll go to bed.’
A Perfect Cornish Christmas Page 24
