The four of them stayed like that until Mrs. Tate had finished.
“Alright,” she said back to them out the door and pulled the drain plug from the bath. She pushed herself up from the floor with her arms braced against the tub, letting out a stiff groan. Rae got up first and helped Mrs. Tate all the way to her feet. Cara followed and helped Rae stand Evie back up as Mrs. Tate wrapped a towel around her, and they all guided her to the bed. Her body was riddled with old scars that screamed at them while they dressed her in the fresh clothes as best they could. They wrapped her arm up after putting some butterfly bandages on the deep parts that still oozed and smeared some ointment on it. Mrs. Tate walked into the kitchen as the girls got Evie under the lone sheet on her bed and tucked her in. She returned with a glass of water and left it on the nightstand, gave Cara and Rae a nod, and walked out of Evie’s room without another word.
Rae kicked her boots off, letting them drop to the ground next to the bed, then laid next to Evie. Cara walked over and switched the light off to the room, leaving the little bedside lamp on next to Evie’s side. She curled up on the generic, barely two seater of a couch that was in each teacher’s room at the Block, and drifted off from pure exhaustion shortly thereafter.
Cara slept restlessly, woken by flashes of the day and her past, but her body kept bringing her back under almost immediately. The next time she woke the sun was just starting to turn the sky to gray, and it took her far too long to figure out what had woke her.
Across the room in the bed, Evie was thrashing and screaming in her sleep. Rae was bent over her from the side holding her arms and trying to wake her, but she just kept shouting, “Evan! Evan! “ Finally, with a firm and loud call of her name, her eyes snapped open, and her hands went for Rae’s throat. Evie’s face morphed into rage as she spat out, “Where is he?” She kept them there for only a moment before her eye focused on the reality before her, and she released. Rae still had to let out a cough before she could speak.
“I’m sorry, Rae. I’m sorry.” Her eyes started to move around the room searching for something that wasn’t there. “I can hear him. I always hear him. He’s screaming!” She wailed the last two words as Rae gently laid her back down onto the pillow.
“He’s not here, sweetheart. I’m sorry. He’s not here.”
Evie’s breath quivered loudly once as it escaped her throat, and then she was asleep again. Rae looked over at Cara who was now sitting up and staring at the scene. She rubbed her eyes and took her hands all the way over her hair. She looked back up when they heard the door to the room click open, and Wyatt peeked in.
“Everything alright?” he whispered.
“Yeah, she’s ok. Back to resting.
“It’s just like back home.” They heard Nico’s voice behind him in the hall. “She did it every night, especially in the beginning.” He inched a little more into the door way, but found himself unable to look in. “We heard, and wanted to check on her.”
Rae and Wyatt looked at each other sadly, then Wyatt began to walk out of the room, closing the door. “We’ll leave you to it.”
The two women found they couldn’t get back to sleep after that. They laid there until the sun was up, and the room was filled with warm yellow light. When Chris came in with some microwaved oatmeal, they excused themselves and left her to do her check up while they grabbed breakfast. But Evie kept sleeping. She slept, almost continuously, for a full twenty-four hours. When she’d wake in a fit, whoever was watching over her would make sure she took a sip of water before she went back to sleep. The next morning she woke as Chris was checking her bandage and wounds.
“Good morning,” Chris said as she pulled up the gauze and looked over the three lines. They had nicely scabbed over, but she was in need of new dressing. She rolled it up and threw it into the tiny trashcan by the night stand.
Evie tried to sit up and grabbed her head immediately.
“Go slow. Even without a head injury, you’ve been asleep for so long, you have to ease your way into sitting.” She laid her back down and watched as she went back into her default mode of staring off in front of her. Chris grabbed the bedside glass and put fresh water in it. She came back and slid her arm underneath her, gently and patiently helping her to raise herself up to a seated position. She handed her the water. “Drink.”
She sipped it slowly at first, then drained the whole thing in one gulp. Her one good eye searched around the room not looking for anything in particular.
“Here, take this.” Chris had refilled her glass and handed her a dose of extra strength Tylenol. “Should be good for your head and your eye.”
She took it without a problem and went back to staring off. Chris sighed softly and went about redressing her arm. “Rest is good, but if you’re feeling up to it, you can move around a bit. Maybe get some fresh air if you’d like. And you need to eat something.” She looked back up at her as she pulled the sleeve of the ragged T-shirt she was wearing over her dressing. A few moments passed without a response, so Chris stood and went over to the kitchen counter, then came back with a little pile of dried apple rings. “You can start with these.” She placed them next to her water glass. Evie began to lay back down in the bed.
Just then there was a light knock on the door, and it opened. Chris looked back to see Rae entering, followed by Wyatt and Nico.
“Hey,” Chris said. “She seems to just be settling back in again.” She turned back to Evie.
Rae gave her a nod and walked over to the side of the bed Evie was turned to.
“We’ve come to say goodbye, Evie. We wanted to wait for you to be awake.” Rae stroked some of Evie’s stray hair back into line behind her ear. “We were supposed to be back yesterday, at the latest. We can’t push it any longer, or Toni will send more out looking for us.”
“And you know how she gets,” Wyatt joked as usual, but with a bit less sparkle in his eye.
Rae smiled, then leaned over and gave her a big hug.
“Come back to us whenever you’re ready,” she whispered in her ear, then pulled away.
Wyatt came up next and bent over her giving her a kiss on the top of her head.
“Get us if you need anything, Evie. We’re here to help. Plus, I wouldn’t mind an excuse to come back. Worth it for the hot showers alone.”
Slowly Nico walked up to take his turn. He knelt next to the bed and looked into her face, her eyes still lost and unfocused. His arm reached up, and he placed his hand over hers, never saying a word. After a few silent moments, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, stood back up, and walked out. Wyatt and Rae followed, waving back to Chris as they left.
Chris looked over Evie for a while longer, then reached over to the small stack of apple, plucking one ring from the top. “Eat this one, and I’ll leave you be. Check on you around lunch time ok?”
Evie’s eyes strayed just a bit towards her, but stopped half way there. She reached up and took the food from Chris’s outstretched hand. When she brought it to her mouth, she nibbled at it until it was gone. Then she closed her eyes and pulled the sheet up over her all the way to her ears.
“Okay,” Chris said quietly, and rose from the end of the bed. “Get some rest. I’ll see you later.” She tentatively walked out of the room and closed the door behind her without a sound.
On the bed, Evie laid, silent and still, the sheet barely even rising with her breath. Her head still pounded, and her eye could now open enough to see out of again, though the bloated lids and brow put pressure on her face. And her face… it wasn’t sad or lost, confused or scared. It was set and furious.
CHAPTER 28
Get Up and Go
For a week, Evie was a ghost. The Block would see flashes of her as she walked out towards the gate and left. Then again when she arrived back. She never took her pack and never said a word to anyone, but when she returned her hands were always filthy, and her eyes still far away. Once a day someone would leave food at her door, and later it would be gone, but the bowl
or plate set back out in the same spot it was left like the food had just faded away and disappeared off it. Then at the end of the week, there she sat, her back against the banister that looked over the entry hall across from Magda’s office. When Magda woke and went to start her day, she opened her door to see her waiting stoic and still.
Before she spoke to her, she assessed her, not having seen her since the first full day when she had slept through it. Her eye was fully open, but the skin around it was jaundiced looking, the mustard yellow spreading across the one quadrant of her face. But under them, both were blackened with the dark circles that swooped down. Her skin was pale from exhaustion, and her eyes flickered about reminding her of her son when confronted with the presence of other people.
“Evie, hello.” She watched as the woman stood up from her spot. “It’s good to see you. How are you?” She waited a moment for her to say something in return, then led the way when there was still no response. “What can I do for you this morning?”
“How’s it looking, for here?” she asked bluntly, her eyes repeatedly sliding to Magda’s face and off to the side, then back and away again.
For a moment Magda wasn’t sure what she was referring to, a puzzled looked flashing on her face until a thought crossed her mind.
“Our stores?” she asked.
Evie faintly grunted in acknowledgment that her guess was correct.
“Well, thanks to you and your friends from the Ranch, I must say, it’s looking very hopeful. Plants are sprouting in the fields and courtyard, and Wyatt taught Ted quite a lot about cultivating seeds to have for next season. He even transplanted those berry bushes you had mentioned from outside our gates, and the apple trees are budding very nicely. The chicks are getting quite large. We let them roam a bit outside now during the day, and I have been speaking with Doug about going out, not too far, and trying for some deer again.” She paused for a moment. “And our pantries have expanded quite a bit with the help of your last leave.”
“Is there a cushion?”
“I’m sorry?”
“A cushion? Are you confident there’s going to be enough?”
“Well,” Magda swallowed noticeably. “I, I suppose I’m not sure. We’re still rationing to be safe, but it seems we will just have to wait for the crops and see how successful our hunting is.”
“So no,” Mac said flatly.
Magda’s jaw tensed a bit, and her face lost some of its warmth.
“I’m- I feel very hopeful that we’re-“
“Hopefulness isn’t going to make your crops grow or your chickens lay eggs. I need to know if you can all make it through the winter. Right now.” Mac was looking her right in the eye, her gaze unyielding.
Her harshness had Magda on the defensive, and she let out a long breath at the reality being shoved in her face.
“Yes, I understand that. I can not speak of what our future will be as of right now, because it is in transition. All we can do is wait on the crops to grow, the chickens to grow, our food stores to grow. All else depends on how proactive we can be with hunting.”
“So, no. The Block is not ready to make it through the winter yet.” It was harsh, truthful, but unhelpful. Rather it was hurtful and direct. She didn’t have time to tip-toe. Magda just glared at her in thought, until she found the one she needed.
Her face relaxed a bit, but Mac knew there was a new understanding now. “Why do you need to know this right now?”
“I have things I need to do. Finish. This place is one of them.”
“No, Ms. MacNamara, it’s not. You have done so much for us. There is nothing owed, except from us to you. I am grateful.”
“I need it done.”
For awhile, they looked at one another, no ill will or anger between them. Magda noticed Mac’s eyes started getting flighty again. The back and forth started, and they didn’t look at Magda anymore. She knew the truth of this whole thing now.
“What do you need?”
Mac’s eyes found her face again. “I need to see all you have.”
“Alright,” she said, giving her a sad smile. “It’s all downstairs. Let’s go have a look.”
As they entered the cafeteria, voices halted, heads turned, people froze. It wasn’t packed. It was only Nate, Joe, and Jack, plus Cara, Mike, and other gate guards catching breakfast after their night shift. The microwave whirred in the silence, then beeped that it was finished. Mike got up and walked with them as they passed.
“Hey, Mac,” he said as he broke off to get his food from the machine, and they continued to the pantry.
She could hear some conversation start back up, hushed, and most likely about her. They entered the big closet-like space, and she looked over the shelves. One section had been broken up into little boxes or containers with people’s names on them. One with Evie stared back at her still full of its contents.
Magda started the tour pointing to the ground and an entire side of the pantry. “This is what was brought back to us from last week.”
Mac stared at it, looking over everything. Two large sacks of basmati rice, smaller ones of flour, brown and white sugar. Some cans of water chestnuts, baby corn, stewed tomatoes, and chipotles. There were jars of jams, demi glaze, and strange pretentious relishes; some bags of dried organic labeled legumes and grains. Then a few boxes of what she remembered were extremely overpriced types of crackers and tasteless low calorie, low sugar cereals. She almost wanted to laugh at the perfectly fitting take they’d gotten from the mansion’s kitchen pantry. The memory of what was also there snapped her out of it, and she faltered a bit. She turned to look at what lined the smaller back wall from before: a few canned jars of apple sauce, ziplocks of dried apples, dented cans of black beans and corn, two large canisters of oatmeal, and three boxes of pasta.
“There’s a bit more on the second floor,” Magda broke into her thoughts. “The majority of what we’ve frozen or canned from last season, though not much is left.”
Evie ran her thumb up and down the space between her eyes, and backed out of the pantry and into the kitchen. She thought of how there was still more food at the mansion. They had been interrupted, but she couldn’t go back. Not now. She ran inventory on her pack, and thought if she had enough to do this next run and settle this damn place for the winter. She didn’t. She’d have to cash in some favors so she could let go.
“I know another place,” she said to Magda, but Cara, Jack, Joe, and Nate were standing at the counter pretending to pour themselves drinks from the always full pitcher that sat there.
“Evie, no, it’s fine,” Jack said almost immediately.
Cara walked around to her and leaned against the counter giving a kind look, but shaking her head.
“Wait, there’s another spot?” Joe said, aggravated at her apparent withholding.
Nate slapped his back to tell him to shut up, and Magda shot him a warning look. Mac stood in the middle of the tiled floor thinking to herself while they all stared at her.
“No. We are going to be fine. The rice and the other dried goods. Our crops are going to grow, and we’re going to make it,” Magda said confidently to her.
“Do not rely on anything unless you see it in front of you.” She didn’t mean for it to sound harsh, but it did. She softened her voice, but didn’t allow for kindness on her face. “One more place. Then you’ll be set. And I’ll be done.” The last seemed to be said more to herself than the others.
Joe spoke up again, but his words were tinged with concern and apprehension. “Why haven’t you told us about this new place?” No one scolded him or even shot him a look. It was the question everyone else was thinking, and they weren’t sure they wanted to know the answer.
“Too many people there. It’s-“ she tried to find the words. “The place and its stores, they’re firm and well managed. The people… they’re not… it’s not stable there. I only go when I have to. I couldn’t even explain it if I tried.”
“Then don’t go,” Jack said
almost pleadingly.
“I have to. Even if I wasn’t thinking about this.” She pointed back at their pantry and walked past them as she left the kitchen.
“Then we’ll go with you!” Jack shouted, getting ready to argue with her. The rest of them stood with him, and Magda was in the doorway with a worried look.
Mac stopped, her back turned to them. They could see her shoulders rising slightly as she breathed, but her body wasn’t tense. It wasn’t gearing up for a fight, even of words. She turned back to them.
“Alright. I’ll take three. One car.” Jack’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. He didn’t expect it to be agreed to without him even pleading his case. “Don’t take anything you care about. Meet me at the garage in twenty minutes.” She was off, walking away out the door.
Jack turned to Magda. Her hands waved out once at the situation.
“You decide amongst yourselves.”
“I’ll go,” Jack said first.
“I’m in,” Joe said, his usual enthusiasm gone.
Nate went to speak, but Cara grabbed his arm. “I’m going with her.”
He looked at her and gave her a nod.
“Watch your backs out there, guys,” Nate said with a look of worry that had never crossed his face before.
Magda walked up to them and stood next to Nate, looking at the three in almost solemn ceremony.
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