by Keya Jay
***
Ryder rode around for nearly an hour before turning around and heading toward Banquet St.
“Yes may I help you?” a voice said over the speaker near the gates.
Ryder thought about turning around knowing that she couldn’t see him but he decided against it.
“It’s me Loretta, can you open the gates?”
“Of course sir, hold on just one moment,” she said as she clicked off the intercom address system and went to do as he asked.
Ryder started his car back up and proceeded to drive as the gates swung open slowly. He took several calming breaths before exiting his car and entering the house.
“It’s nice to see you Ryder, she’s been asking about you you know?” Loretta said as she exited the kitchen and met him in the living room.
Yea he knew which is why he has kept his distance.
“Is she awake?” he asked.
“No, she just had her medication and it seemed to have put her straight to sleep.”
This must be his lucky day, Ryder thought as his chest began to untighten at the realization that he still had some time before he had to face her.
“I’ll be in and out,” he promised.
“Take your time I’m sure she’d be glad to see you,” Loretta said as she went back into the kitchen.
Guilt made Ryder nervous, he had no doubt in his mind that she’d be glad to see him, he just wished he could say the same for her.
Ryder didn’t like watching this woman die right in front of him. He knew it had to be hard for Loretta. He’s well aware that Loretta is his mother’s care taker, but she’s also her friend and yet Loretta didn’t turn her back on his mother like her own son and husband did.
Ryder took hesitant steps toward his mother’s door and opened it slowly before slipping inside.
The smell was horrid but he learned long ago that it’s better to breathe through your nose rather than your mouth; it’ll feel almost as if you can taste it. He was glad he didn’t eat much while out with Skylar he’d hate for it to make a quick return.
Ryder’s mother looked so sickly lying against those white sheets. Her face was pale minus the circles around her eyes; her lips were chapped and dry. She had to be thirsty but he had no right waking her up in order for her to drink some water.
Ryder looked at the woman who suffered like this for years. None of the doctors thought she’d even make it this far, they said she should have died before her 25 birthday but yet his mother made it. She’s alive and kicking—ok well maybe not kicking but she was breathing—Ryder felt bad for leaving her but there was no way he’d sit and watch as his very own mother died.
The doctors have no clue now how long she has; they say she can die at any moment. Ryder can’t risk getting close to her if he’d just end up losing her.
Ryder walked back out of her room and headed down the hall toward Loretta’s room.
“Are you ok sir?” she asked.
Ryder rarely comes into her room, though this was technically his house and all of these rooms belong to him, she deserved some privacy.
“I’m fine Loretta, I’m leaving,” he announced.
“Here’s my number,” he said writing it down for her. Not sure why but knowing that someday it would come in handy, just hopefully no day soon.
“Would you like me to call you when she wakes?” she asked as she accepted the piece of paper.
“No,” he said shaking his head slightly. “Only if you have to,” he added in a whisper before turning toward the door and leaving his mother behind yet again.
He thought it hurt the first time, but it was even worse the second, he thought as he closed the door behind himself.
He made sure to warn Loretta to lock the gates and not to let anyone in unless he authorized it before getting back into his car and driving away.
