by Keya Jay
***
When Ryder woke it was only about 3 o’clock at night. He watched as Skylar slid from beneath the covers and left the room, he thought about not following her but shit she was just knocked out cold for like five hours so there was no telling what she about to do so he got up and followed her anyways.
Ryder found Skylar in her dark room, writing on that damn wall again, she didn’t acknowledge his presence as he stood behind her and he wasn’t about to say anything to her until she spoke first, he was tired of being the one always having to break the damn ice. Skylar put down the little pen thingy she was using and ran her hands through her hair before pacing the room, but still she said nothing. Ryder walked up toward the wall to read the new edition she had added.
The Monster
With-in me live the two sides of one coin.
The angle I led other’s to believe I am, and the monster I decoyed.
Never too noticeable in stone the hold it has on my soul;
Burns and Chars the surface, the monster with in claws and sears my bones,
Not even to leave me with the odds and ends of control.
A thick mind drought brought a respite from the optimism of my thoughts.
The Monster’s hold withers and slithers with-in the deep recesses of this body of mine that rots.
It controls the actions of my body making them some-how tamer
And occupies my most inner thoughts, turning them into thoughts of a stranger.
My very own thoughts, words, and actions I’m having to wrestle;
Beyond the bounds of ordinary repercussions of the war going on in my own vessel.
Never once feeling repent toward my lack of control played out by The Monster’s hand, it
Feels as though the restraints on my mind prevent me from being candid.
Just when I think I’m free to do, over me the monster towers,
The monster being free verses the decay of my own will power.
“What happened to you last night?” Ryder asked
“I don’t know,” she said softly.
“Skylar you’ve been out all night and then I find you this evening behind the house in the backyard knocked out and you’re telling me you don’t know how that came about?” Ryder asked as he refused to face her and kept staring at the lit up wall. Ryder heard Skylar sigh and then another light came on in the room. “Where did you go Skylar?” he asked as he turned to see what she was doing.
“Ryder,” she said before sighing loudly, “I honestly don’t remember everything that happened ok, but if it makes you feel any better all I can remember is leaving because I was under a lot of stress here and…”
“And you needed release,” he said after her pause.
“Yea,” she agreed reluctantly. “After that I don’t really remember what happened, I remember seeing Brooke and her friend Casper but after that everything is kind of blank at this moment,” she said as she looked over her shoulder at him but not really meeting his eye.
“You stayed here all day?” she asked after a while of silence.
“Yea, you never came home and I didn’t want to leave Larissa here all by herself.”
“Shit, I forget all about her. Damn,” she said as she brought her hands behind her head and looked up to the ceiling.
“Well you don’t have to worry about it, by the way her mom came by not too long ago and she dropped off some papers for Larissa.”
“What kind of papers?” she asked confused.
“Medical papers and things like that.”
“So she’s really not coming back,” she said a little disappointedly. Ryder didn’t answer her because he didn’t think he had to answer that question it was pretty obvious that she wasn’t.
“Why’d you leave in the first place?” he asked her already somehow knowing her reasoning’s. “Besides the addiction?” he added.
“It was too much,” she answered reluctantly. “All of it, it was all just too much,” she said as she turned to face the wall again.
“You’re not going to get very far unless you get some sleep or something you look like you’ve been through hell.”
“Thanks,” she said sarcastically as the room suddenly got dark as she turned off all of the UV lights and left the room. Ryder followed her back up to her room and watched her crawl back into bed.
“Why did you stay?” she asked as she looked over at him as he stood at the foot of her bed. “Besides for Larissa?” she added. Ryder sighed before sitting on the edge of her bed.
“Because your need me,” he said as he gave her a cocky smirk over his shoulder.
“I need you?” she questioned.
“And because your mother told me to, she made some pretty good points that not even I could argue with.”
“My mother?” she whispered.
“Yes, your mother,” Ryder said as he scooted back toward the head board of her bed.
“How..?” she asked confused. Ryder looked over at her and realized that he missed messing with her; he missed how they used to be before their feelings started getting into the mix of everything and then he realized that she had asked him a question.
“Um…how the hell do I explain this?” he said to himself.
“I already know about the whole whisper soul being—for lack of a better word—more powerful than the average human soul.” She said.
“Well then I guess there really isn’t much to explain then. Whisperer souls don’t look like apparitions you know like most human souls do, they look more like what they did when they died--more or less like that—but there really isn’t much of a change, you can’t really touch them but they can make them self-seen to whoever they so choose.”
“And my mom chose you,” she said. She didn’t sound upset by it or hurt that her mother didn’t choose her she almost sounded happy about that.
“Yea, I guess she did,” he agreed as he looked over at her faint smile.
“So what did she say?” she asked as he looked over at him.
“Umm shit, what didn’t she say?” he said shrugging his shoulders. “She talked a lot about you if that’s what you want to know, she knew more about me than I know about me which if I am being honesty freaked me the hell out,” he said with a little laugh.
“Did she like you?” she asked.
“Umm I wouldn’t say she liked me not at first but I think she’s kind of used to me now, I guess.”
“That’s better than nothing. Trust me when I tell you that that woman didn’t like anyone I did, she hated them all; every boyfriend and every friend with the exception of Brooke and that’s only because Brooke was her best friend’s daughter,” Skylar said with a short laugh.
“Well that’s because you friended and dated any fuckin body,” he teased.
“I did not!” she said as she smacked him against the chest. “I chose my men and friends very seriously mind you,” she said.
“Of course you did,” he said with a wink.
“Fuck you Ryder,” she said as she turned her back on him.
“I quit,” he said as he dragged her back against him. “Your mother was really nice to me when she was telling me what the hell I was doing wrong, honestly she reminded me a lot of you,” he said.
“By telling me that I act like my mother isn’t going to get me to forgive you,” she joked.
“Fine, but you can’t say that I didn’t try.” Skylar turned against Ryder so that she could see him.
“How did Larissa take my disappearance?” she asked.
“She asked about you but I told her that you would be back so she drew you a picture; I put it on the fridge for you so you’d see first thing in the morning.”
“Thank you,” she said sincerely.
“No problem, now get some sleep,” he ordered.
“Ok,” she said as she got more comfortable on the bed. “Are you staying?” she asked as she looked up at him.
“Do you want me to?” he asked her.
/> “Always making shit about you.”
“It’s a yes or no question,” he taunted.
“Yes, ok? I want you to stay.”
“I knew you wanted me,” he teased as he slid in beside her and dragged her toward him.
“Fuck you Ryder,” she said but Ryder could hear the smile in her voice.
