by A. E. Murphy
I exit the small hut in my purple bikini, feeling self-conscious but also extremely sexy.
He eyes me hungrily, taking me in as I shift, trying to see how little the underwear covers my rear.
“You couldn’t have gotten me a one-piece?”
He raises a thick brow and yanks off his top. “Did you see how limited that store was? They had this or a thong. I figured you’d appreciate a full triangle.”
I roll my eyes, watch him kick off his clothes and then follow him to the ocean where I have a mini freak-out. About sharks, crabs and all things pinchy and bitey. But with some reassurance and guidance I follow him in until it’s at our waists and then freak the fuck out when something touches my ankle.
Screaming, I latch onto him for dear life, my legs around his hips which only permits him to walk us into deeper waters.
People on the beach mind their own business. I’m near sobbing about my ankle brush with death until he pulls the triangle of my underwear to the side and pushes in deep.
I gasp, a garbled sound of jumbled curses.
“I’m going to fuck you in the sea, in front of all of these people.”
I choke and breathe, “That’s your surprise?”
“No, that’s your punishment for sucking me but not fucking me earlier. I told you I have no control around you.”
I bite my lip. “You’re insane. What if somebody sees?”
His grin gets wider.
“What if a shark gets us?”
“At least my cock is safe,” he mumbles biting on my bottom lip and grinding against me.
I slap his chest playfully. “Not funny.”
“Yet she laughs. I wonder why so, if I’m not funny?”
“Shut up,” I mutter, pressing my forehead to his. “How can you act so cavalier and calm? I just want to scream and move and lie on the sand while you rut against me like a fucking animal.”
“You know all the right words.”
Laughing, I grind against him, moving just my lower half.
He kisses me slowly, torturously, taking his time as our bodies remain locked together.
There’s something to be said about hidden-in-plain-sight sex. It’s not even that it feels all that good in the water, it’s just him and his thickness and the fact it’s wrong and dirty.
“I need to fuck you,” he mumbles, slightly shifting his hips. “I want to fuck you like you have no idea.”
“Uh-huh.”
“No, I really need to fuck you.” His hips pick up the pace as I suck on his lip and tickle the back of his neck with my fingers. “I can’t stand this.”
“You started it, I’m taking no blame.”
His eyes flash with menace and I wonder what he’s thinking. Until he starts walking, still planted deep inside.
“People are catcalling,” I mutter, flipping off some of the crew who are watching us go. Gross.
“I don’t give a fuck.” He puts me down, leaving me but only for enough time to guide me around a large boulder resting by the trees which end the beach.
We have to swim a short distance and then he helps lift me out of the water as it’s like a really deep step of solid rock. The second he joins me, he has me up against the boulder, one leg around his hip, the other still touching the ground just barely and then finally, with a dramatic sigh, he plunges inside and does exactly what he said he would. He fucks me, brutally, so brutally the rock at my back grazes my skin but I don’t care. This is incredible. It’s raw, it’s angry and it’s us. This is how we do it. We don’t make love, we don’t do soft, we bite, claw, draw blood and we fuck like animals.
We fuck like we hate each other because we probably do.
I rip his head back by his hair so I can suck on his neck, marking him as mine for the first time, leaving a dark red oval beneath his ear in a place everybody can see even when he’s wearing a collar.
The sight of it has me spiralling, moving my hips desperately against his so he rubs all of those perfect parts. I come, pulsing and quivering around his cock, my limbs become weightless.
“Fuck, yes,” he cries, slamming into me one final time. We collapse onto the leaf-covered sand and he groans against my neck, “You made me tired.”
I shiver when his lips taste my damp skin.
“Don’t blame me,” I pant, “for your life choices.”
Sometime later, after an hour of me getting mad at him for trying to teach me to swim in an ocean where I’m freaking out, he takes me to the bar near where we parked and orders us some kind of honeyed ham and coconut dish and of course, rum. I feel like such a pirate. Drinking rum and eating ham on a beach in the middle of the ocean.
I eat my ham and salad, every so often flicking my gaze to the bag on the floor by Captain’s feet.
He too eats his food, moaning at how fresh it tastes. It’s heaven.
“We don’t always eat like we have on the ship, we usually have a freezer full of fresh meats to last us months,” he explains, sipping his drink and looking at the men at the table behind us. “You just came to us at a time when we were already running low on food.”
I give him an incredulous look. “I didn’t come to you, Calder. You took me.”
He blinks and then his eyes narrow on me. “Does it matter?”
Is he serious? “Of course, it matters. What kind of question is that?”
“Well seeing as we now share intimacies, I’d thought you’d perhaps forgiven me for taking you.”
Is he serious? “I… but… are you joking?”
“I’m pointing out a flaw in your ire.”
A flaw in my ire… I let that one sit for a moment. “I’ve been taking comforts where I can.”
“Comforts.” He drops his knife and fork and looks at me with his hands steepled under his chin. “Just comforts? I’m your safety blanket? Nothing else?”
Is he offended that I’ve used him? He’s used me too. What does he expect to come out of this?
“What else could you be, Calder? You kidnapped me.”
He stands suddenly, throws a few notes of a currency I don’t recognise onto the table and nods for me to join him. I burn the memory of the notes into my mind’s eye. Just another piece of evidence signalling my location.
We exit the bar with our bags in hand, with me trailing behind him. He’s really mad. I’ve definitely offended him.
“Where are we going?” I ask but he doesn’t reply.
It isn’t until we head towards the village and hit another small tiki-style bar that we come across Clunk.
The men he’s with, Larry being one of them, are all talking to two women, one of whom has her hand pressed directly over the groin of one of the men.
We’re given chairs but Captain kicks mine away from him, ensuring we don’t accidentally touch. He doesn’t offer me a drink but one is poured for me anyway.
How petty and immature of him.
I watch him make conversation with Clunk, as the women regale them all with tales and flutter their perfect lashes, making them feel special.
I think back to our intimate dinner and wonder if he chose that over this because of me? He told me he fancied eating there but now I’m wondering if it was because he knew his men would be at the brothel bar down the way.
“You’re a handsome one,” the woman who was talking to Larry smiles at Captain and glances at me, questioning with her eyes whether or not she’s about to offend.
Before I can say anything, Captain turns to Clunk, a sneer on his face. He leans over me as I’m between them both.
“She one?” Captain asks Clunk who shrugs and glances at me.
What the fuck is going on?
“You,” Captain says to the woman who smiles and shifts all of her attention his way, turning her back to Larry entirely. He pulls out a wad of cash, counts a few notes and asks her, “You want this?”
She nods eagerly.
“Wanna blow me?”
Her plump lips part as she looks around, startled by his au
dacity. “I have a place just over—”
My heart stopped beating.
He pulls her onto his lap and the entire table stills, the men who have seen many displays between us all glance between Captain and me but otherwise remain impartial and keep their conversations going.
“Oh,” she squeaks when he palms her heavy breast. It’s bigger than mine, rounder.
I’m going to hurl.
“You’ve got a big one,” she murmurs, sliding her hand beneath her rear and cupping him.
“You like that, huh?” His smile is seedy and malicious. My heart tears from my chest as I fight to keep my face straight.
“Of course, but can you use it?”
“Let me show you.”
She stands and holds out her hand but he ignores it to grab her arm and pull her around the hut but not before snarling at Clunk to, “Watch her.”
Meaning me.
I’m in shock. My stomach is roiling. I watch her giggle as they go, pulling down on her rising skirt hem as though she deserves any ounce of modesty right now. I watch them vanish around the back of the hut.
My face remains blank, it has to.
I won’t admit that this is killing me. Killing me. But it’s also saving me because I feel shattered, broken, jealous, envious. I feel like I want to rip her hair from her scalp, wrap it around his throat and strangle him with it.
This is good. He’s showing me how much of a wanker her is. He’s reminding me of what and who I am to him.
“Come sit with us,” Larry says softly, patting the chair beside him. “Have some rum. It’ll help with the burn.”
I guess I’m not as good at hiding my emotions as I thought.
I’m surprised when Clunk catches my eyes and with a soft tone, softer than any before, he says, “She’s just a whore, it doesn’t mean anything.”
Is that what I am too? Just a whore?
“She’s not just a whore,” I remark, biting down on my trembling lip. “She’s a woman and she’s just doing what she’s told.”
The other woman at the table gives me an appreciative look but I don’t care for it. My body is a livewire of feelings I’m trying to deny. Any type of kindness right now will set me off.
I drain my rum, cringing at the foul taste of it and try to laugh when the men cheer me on.
He’s done this on purpose, to teach me a lesson, to hurt me because I’m not smitten or in love with him.
It’s okay though, I’m okay with this.
I mean… I’m not. It hurts… but I will be.
It shouldn’t hurt.
Fuck, my head is going around and around in circles.
Ten minutes later, maybe more, maybe less, he walks around from the back of the hut while tying the front of his shorts. The woman pulls down her skirt hem and I notice her hair is a wild mess and her lips are swollen. Or maybe I’m imagining that part.
“Worth the money, Captain?” the man beside Larry asks.
“She’s better than most whores,” Captain replies and I bring Clunk’s glass to my lips with a trembling hand, nearly spluttering when I taste the absinthe.
He chuckles as though it’s hilarious and takes it from me before I can put it down.
Back on the ship at last after a long sailing trip. We didn’t talk, didn’t look at each other, or I didn’t look at him. I felt his eyes on me on occasion but he didn’t once utter a single word other than when he told me to be careful when stepping onto the sailboat in my new flip-flops. The connection between us broke the moment he humiliated me like that. It should never have happened to begin with between us.
I’m weak.
I’m one of those awful, weak-willed women that people hate and want to slap.
This is why I don’t kick up a fuss about sailing with him. I just follow, climb on the boat and let him take us back. The second the boat comes into the ship, I take my clothes and head back to his bedroom. I want to go to my cell but that would just prove him right that I do feel something.
Instead I shower the sea from my body after tucking my clothes into a section of a drawer and my phone into a cubby space at the back of it. Ready for when I get time alone to use it.
Tomorrow that’s exactly what I’ll do, call Niall and get the hell out of here.
The door opens as I’m escaping my super quick shower. I don’t shy away when he appears in the doorway, I brush my teeth while he watches and slide between his body and the doorframe. My body, for the first time doesn’t react to him.
A few days ago, I’d have sizzled at that kind of nearness but now I actually feel numb and dead inside.
He looks as though he wants to say something, he’s looked like that since the party ended. He looked like that on the boat when he kept looking back at me and he’s looking at me like it right now.
I meet his gaze and snap, “What?”
When he doesn’t reply I keep going, dropping the towel at his drawers. I stand naked before him for all of five seconds as I yank on one of his oversized shirts. Then, because I know my worth and I know he likes it, I crawl over the bed, flashing him my pussy in a way I definitely know he can’t resist, until I’m on the other side and curled into the foetal position. Purely so he can’t rest his head on me in that way he likes.
One thing is for sure, I don’t know why I’m riling him up, maybe to see if he has any remorse for what he did tonight?
Why do I care?
I guess I don’t. I’ve just always been a vengeful person and held a grudge. I won’t let him get away with this either. He humiliated me.
I stare at the wall while listening to the soft hum of the ship. I’ve found the sound to be quite soothing at times. Tonight, it just makes me miss the silence my bedroom at home brings.
We don’t speak, I’m too much of a coward to say anything and he’s just an absolute dick.
The moment daylight breaks through the clouds, he exits his room, though not without a lingering look my way that has me wondering what he could possibly be concocting in that vicious mind of his. I grab the burner phone, sitting in a position where I can easily conceal it should he walk in and then I turn the phone on with trembling hands, holding the red button until my thumb turns white.
When the screen lights up, tears blur my vision as I hastily dial Niall’s number inputting the country code first while mentally begging there’s a signal. My hands are shaking.
It rings once, the sound cracked and foggy but it’s there.
“Have you made your decision?” Niall’s voice is music to my ears.
I choke back a sob but my chest aches from it. “Niall?”
“Rain? Rain… you’re okay?”
“No… yes… I don’t know. I’m on a ship in the middle of the ocean.” I lower my voice. “I stole his phone.”
His tone is so soft with relief and it pulls on every heartstring making it hard to stay focused. “Rain…”
“I know. I shouldn’t be so stupid, but I need to come home now.”
“I’m trying, baby, we’re following leads and looking, I promise. Where are you?”
I whisper so quietly I pray he can hear me, “We stopped at an island. It’s tropical, the people that sound Hawaiian maybe but it’s not Hawaii.”
“Okay, that’s good. Anything else? Anything at all? Birds, fish? Trees?”
“Really tall palm trees, loads of sand… there was a woodpecker I think. I don’t know. Three days ago we travelled east through a massive typhoon. There were waterspouts and everything. It was terrifying.”
I hear his breath stutter as he says, “I miss you. I miss you so much, baby.”
“I miss you too.” I make my voice smaller, and my body, shrinking into a tiny human ball. “I’m so scared. Niall, they’re all criminals and I’ve done… things have happened.”
“Don’t apologise, not now, not ever. Just do as they say. I’ve told you this, you know this. Keep them happy and stay alive, Rain. I’m coming for you okay? I promise.” I hear him talking to someb
ody in the background and their excited voice carries over. “I love you. You know that. Remember that. I haven’t stopped fighting to get you back.”
I nod, gripping the phone and sniffling unattractively. “I have to go.”
“Keep the phone on. Don’t hang up.”
“What, why?”
“We might be able to trace it. How long can you give us?”
I press a few buttons on the screen and silence it. “About half an hour, until the battery dies.”
“I’ll disconnect before then if I can.” He blows out a breath. “I promise, Rain, I will find you.”
I race to put the phone back in its hiding place, trembling and sweating with fear, and for a moment I feel guilty and my gut twists with it. I don’t like it but I can’t stop the tears that fall. They cascade down my cheeks in waves and it just doesn’t feel right sitting in another man’s bed and crying anymore so I take my pillow back to the corner and just let it all out.
I sob and sob for all of the hurt and the fear and the pain I’ve felt.
I cry until the pillow against my face is soaking wet and I feel so exhausted I can’t move. But that crying becomes anger when I feel him approach and he tries to hold me by pulling me into his chest and telling me it’s all going to be okay.
How dare he?
Who is he to console me when he is the reason for all of this?
I lose my absolute shit. A rage fires through me and I let it loose. Shoving him away, I slap at his hands until I’m standing with my arms wrapped around myself and more than a metre between us.
“Don’t touch me.”
He looks at me but says nothing because we both know at this point there is nothing he can say.
“Can I move back to my cell?” I ask, wiping my eyes.
“No.”
When he steps into my personal space, I shove him again, my hands firm against the hard muscles of his chest. “Say yes.”
“No.”
“Please, Captain. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be around you anymore.”
His green eyes scan my face and his brows pull together with a look of sorrow. “You’re not staying anywhere but in here.”
“You are the lowest. You are awful.”
