by A. G. Khaliq
What was happening to me? When did I become so weak? When did I stop teaching bitches who was boss?
“Hurt by the truth, are you?!” Aminah screamed. “Surprised I fought back?!”
I said nothing. In this moment… All I could feel was pain. Not physical pain… but emotionally. The things Aminah had just said to me, the way she spoke to me like I was a glorified slut, like I slept with every man that breathes. It really hurt me, I couldn’t even give a snide remark. Because it was the truth. I was speaking to Dante, a man I met online, who was in his 20s, when I was only 16. And I was planning to meet him too… All because I couldn’t stand the boys in my school. I felt like they didn’t understand me, or understand where I was coming from. Dante was always there to listen to me, to listen to me vent out about my problems without judgement. I guess that’s why I liked him so much, why I’d grown so attached to him… Even though deep down, I knew it was wrong to be with a man who was so much older than me. No other man made me feel the way Dante did.
“That’ll teach you not to pick on my friends,” Aminah roared, spinning me back into reality. I walked out of the school gates timidly, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.
ABID
“Please, just one more chance…” Asae moaned, still clutching his crotch in pain.
“Time’s up, motherfucker,” Trex warned.
I cocked the gun in my hands and shot Asae three times through his skull, my patience wearing thin. I was getting tired of hearing his lame ass whimper like a fucking bitch.
“Trex, clear up this shit like it never goddamn happened,” I shouted.
Trex bent down towards the body, tossing it into the grave Asae had just dug. “See you in hell, motherfucker.”
ELLIE
I walked down the street, looking down to the floor, still feeling humiliated about what just happened back at school. I could hear a familiar voice calling my name behind me.
“Ellie!”
I turned around to see that it was Keelan. I rolled my eyes and continued to walk, ignoring him. I really didn’t want to face anyone after the way Aminah had just put me in my place back at the school gates.
“Ellie, please just hear me out!” Keelan called. I continued to ignore him, but he bolted into a run, and caught up with me.
“Please Ellie, I was thinking about what you said,” Keelan said, exhausted. “I know I’ve had a bad history with girls, but I’m willing to change myself for you!”
Keelan drew in a deep breath.
“Please Ellie, give me a chance,” he said sadly. “I won’t let you down.”
I turned around to face him, shaking my fists angrily. “Get lost, Keelan!” I roared. “Don’t you know the meaning of personal space?! You don’t have to goddamn stalk me!”
“Ellie, I was just…” Keelan frowned, taken aback. “I just wanted to say sorry for the way I snapped at you in the first aid room!”
I sighed heavily.
“Please, talk to me!” he pleaded.
“Stop goddamn following me, Keelan!” I accused. “I’m warning you!”
I slapped him hard, across the face, and he jolted back, shocked. Before the realisation of what I’d just done could hit me, I bolted out of the street, weeping as I ran. I could hear Keelan cough up a sob.
Nevertheless, I continued to run. One foot after the other… but my phone was pinging into a frenzy in my pocket; I was getting so many notifications. I slowed down to catch my breath, and whipped my phone out of my pocket.
I checked my messages, and jolted back in shock, not being able to believe my eyes. I didn’t know what to make of what I’d just witnessed…
Dante had sent me an explicit nude image of himself. I was taken aback and confused, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say…
I took deep breaths in and out, and shakily sent a message to Dante, trying to demand answers from him, an explanation as to why he sent the photograph.
Hey, what was that for? I texted.
To show you I’m older and I’m not like any of these school kids, he replied.
Um, I guess so… I texted.
Be ready for the weekend babe ;) I can’t wait to see you. Make sure you’re dressed sexy, it’s a high-class restaurant.
I sighed, taking deep breaths in and out, my heart hammering against my chest. It felt like somebody was waving red flags in my face… It felt like my common sense was warning me not to meet Dante.
But what could go wrong? I would just be meeting him at a restaurant, and he would be giving me so much money for doing so. It wasn’t like we were going to meet at a hotel, or his apartment…
And he was different. He made me feel special. He was like my getaway when everything in life was going shit. He’s 21… but he knows just how to be a proper gentleman. I just hoped that he would like me just as much in real life as he did online. I hoped that I would live up to any expectations he had of me… That he found me pretty enough, funny enough, classy enough.
I nodded in satisfaction as I spoke to myself, and walked out of the street, ready to make my way home.
MUM
I lay down groggily on the hospital bed, feeling like death. Louis had fallen asleep on the floor in front of my bed, with his legs up. He looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb him. The doctor made her way into the room, smiling at me reassuringly.
“Hi Linda, how are you feeling, my love?” she asked.
“Not the best, but I feel a lot better from when I was first rushed here,” I admitted.
“Stay strong, darling. You just need some time to rest and repair,” the doctor reassured. “I’d make sure that the man who did this to you doesn’t get away with it. You better go to the police about this. The things men in the pub do when they’re drunk!
“Don’t worry Doc, I will as soon as I’m out of here,” I replied, exhausted.
“Anyway, I came in here to check on you, but I also wanted to let you know you’ve got a visitor,” said the doctor, and I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “He’s a guy called Matthew. Do you want me to let him in?”
“Yes! Yes, of course!” My eyes lit up in happiness. Matthew… he came to see me. My light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing mattered as long as I still had him by my side.
I rubbed my eyes as the doctor left the room, and then Matthew walked inside, holding a massive gift box in his arms. He stared at me with a timid expression on his face.
“Baby, I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he said sadly. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Don’t worry, babe,” I reassured him. “You just being here for me means the world to me as it is.”
Matthew gave me a kiss on my forehead, and my heart fluttered with butterflies. He was the only glimmer of hope I had in this dark situation.
“I wasn’t there for you,” he said timidly. “I didn’t get there in time to help you.” He took deep breaths in and out, and a tear slid down his cheek.
“It’s not your fault, my darling,” I said, sitting up on the bed.
“Linda, if only you knew how much I care about you…” Matthew began. “I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, to spoil you, look after you, treat you like a queen.” He sighed, drawing out another deep breath. “But it can’t happen while you’re living with Steve.”
Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, as I contemplated how fucked up my life was. I couldn’t be with a man that I wanted to be with… because of another toxic, abusive, misogynistic, manipulative man that held a chokehold over my life and stopped me from ever being happy.
“Babe, you need to stay strong so that you can get better,” Matthew said sadly. “Don’t get upset please.” He kissed my forehead again, and then put the large present he’d brought in with him, down next to the hospital bed.
“It was Steve that did this to you, wasn’t it?” Matthew sighed. “Not a drunk old man.”
I said nothing.
“Babe, you need to leave him before he does any more da
mage!” Matthew begged. “Please babe. It’s breaking my heart seeing you like this.”
“I’m too scared of him,” I admitted. “It’s like I’m in a tangled spider web and I’m trapped, and I can’t get out of it.”
“Babe, you need to go to the police about this…” Matthew began.
“I would have a long time ago…” I said timidly, crossing my arms. “But I can’t do that to Louis. He loves Steve to pieces, he would never forgive me.”
“If Louis knew what was going on, maybe he’d understand…”
“Oh Matthew, he’s already been through so much since his dad left,” I sighed. “When I had a second marriage and married Steve, Steve gave him happiness… It was what Louis needed after all those sleepless nights. I don’t want to worry him, and that’s why I’m never going to tell him the truth about Steve abusing me. I can’t break his heart by taking away the one man who means the world to him…”
And it was true. Steve was like the dad that Louis never had. He was the only adult who really understood him, and knew where he was coming from. They’d have the most amazing days out, and Steve would spoil him, and they’d have really intellectual conversations. It hurt Louis enough when Steve would act off and wouldn’t stay in touch… Louis finding out that Steve was a woman-beater would just add more salt to the wound.
Matthew drew a deep breath, and I stroked Louis’s hair sadly, as he snored peacefully, not batting an eyelid. As long as Louis grew up to be a good man… None of this would matter. Louis and Matthew were the only people that mattered to me.
∆∆∆
CHAPTER 3
MISTAKES WERE MADE
ELLIE
I stood in my room, changing in and out of outfits to find the perfect dress for my date with Dante tonight. I finally settled with curling my hair and then tying it back, wearing red lipgloss, and wearing a navy bodycon dress that hugged my curves. Dante was going to be so happy, because I looked so good right now. This outfit was giving me the confidence boost that I needed.
I walked into the living room, carrying my baby sister in my arms. She was just 2 years old. I searched the house for Mum and Dad, but they were nowhere in sight… It looked like they weren’t home again.
Why did they always have to fucking ruin things for me? How was I supposed to meet Dante when there was nobody home to look after the baby?
I rocked the baby in my arms, worried, contemplating what to do. I was just going to have to feed her and put her to sleep. It’s not like me and Dante would be out that long… and hopefully, I would be back in time for when she wakes up. It’s only one day… one day couldn’t hurt, could it?
I cooed at the baby, suddenly feeling miserable. Any chance of a nice thing I had was always ruined by my duties at home. Deep down, I felt bad that I was going to leave the baby home alone. But I delayed meeting up with Dante enough… We were supposed to meet up months ago. It was time to make myself happy for once, instead of always being a goddamn babysitter for my Mum and Dad. I’m only 16… and I should be living my life.
“I’m gonna leave you in your bed, baby,” I said, stroking my sister’s cheek. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.” I put her dummy in her mouth and put her back into her cot, praying that nothing would go wrong.
I stood in town outside Primark, patiently waiting for Dante to arrive. I decided to get my phone out to speak to him instead.
“Hey Dante!” I said cheerfully to him on the phone. “I’m waiting outside the street you told me to. Where are you? I can’t see you anywhere.”
The phone line went fuzzy, and I stared at my phone, confused… and then the phone line went dead. He must have had bad signal, right?
I shoved my phone back into my pocket, staring at my surroundings. Everybody was busily making their way back home from work, or going shopping, or going out for a nice meal. It was starting to get cold.
And then I saw a man walking towards me. At first, I thought I was being paranoid, but he held his gaze with mine, and I shifted about uncomfortably, wishing Dante would hurry up already.
“I’m right here, baby girl,” said the man, just inches away from me now. He was so close, I could smell his bitter alcoholic breath, and it made me uneasy.
“Is this some kind of sick joke?!” I accused, as I took a few steps back to look at the man properly. “Where’s Dante?!”
“I am Dante,” the man shrugged.
I started trembling, dismayed. “No, no, you can’t be!” I gasped. This man was old, with terrifyingly veiny blue eyes, pitch grey hair, wrinkles… He looked about 65, and he was wearing a baggy green sweater, paired with baggy brown trousers and brown boots.
“The Dante I was talking to was only 21!” I accused. “He was young, muscular, tattooed…”
The man rolled his eyes at me as I clutched my chest in fear, the realisation of what was happening fully hitting me and kicking in. I’d been catfished… My whole relationship that I had with Dante online had been built on a lie. None of it was real… And I didn’t know what to make of that. The one man I trusted, the one man who was my getaway from my tragic, shit life…
He’d been lying to me this whole time.
He’d been deceiving me this whole time.
“Obviously I had to use someone else’s pictures, or you would never meet me, knowing that I’m an old man,” he said condescendingly.
“You’re sick!” I cried.
“Come on, don’t be like that,” Dante said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “I still really like you, Ellie. You’re even more beautiful than I imagined you would be.”
At this point, I was shaking with rage. I felt so angry, so hurt… So betrayed. I’d been played for a fool. And my blood felt like it was boiling to the point it almost dried up.
I shoved Dante so hard he almost toppled over. He straightened himself out, balling his hand into a fist.
“Stay away from me, you old creep,” I accused. “I’m leaving!”
“We can meet up just this once and never meet again,” Dante persisted, shrugging. This man couldn’t take no for a fucking answer. “We’re only going to a restaurant. I’ll raise the money to 1000 pounds just for you to have dinner with me tonight.”
I drew a deep breath in. My mind was in a state of confusion. 1000 pounds… that was more money than I’d ever seen in my lifetime. Just to have dinner with an old man?
“I’m not sure I should,” I said uneasily, and Dante burst into a fit of laughter at my discomfort.
“I’m not an animal, Ellie,” said Dante. “I’m offering you so much money just to come to a restaurant with me. It’s not like you’re gonna see anyone you know.”
I don’t know what came over me at this point. I didn’t have time to think before the words tumbled out of my mouth. I felt under pressure with Dante here, and I felt like he would carry on pestering me until I agreed to go to the restaurant with him.
“I guess I’ll come then,” I said uneasily.
Dante nodded in approval, leading me in the direction of his car. I just wanted to get this over with and then never see him again, after how betrayed I felt. It felt like my world was crashing down on me. I really never expected that Dante wouldn’t be the man he said he was. I trusted him… This man had sent me nude images of himself, he made me feel loved and wanted compared to other boys at school.
I guess this was karma. Karma’s way of punishing me for bullying other girls at school. Karma’s way of punishing me for wanting an older man, when I myself was underage.
I guess with time I would heal. At least I was getting some money out of today...
LOUIS
I stood in my living room, excited. Mum was being discharged from the hospital today, and she’d made a full recovery. I was so happy that she was finally coming home.
“Mum!” I yelled happily, as she walked through the door. She giggled, and then pulled me in for a hug.
But then I jolted backwards, as a massive man started bolting into the house at full spee
d, knocking the door down. It looked like a policeman.
“What the hell?” I reacted, afraid.
“Who are you?” asked Mum, terrified. “Me and my son haven’t done anything wrong!”
“Have you come to arrest us?!” I cried.
“I’m a High Court Enforcement Officer,” said the man angrily. “I’ve been given a High Court Order to seize goods from your property.”
“What are you talking about?!” I said, dismayed, and Mum’s chest was heaving upwards and downwards; she was going white in shock.
“Your mother has had a long-term debt that she hasn’t paid off yet,” the debt collection officer said angrily. “She's going to have to come up with the money within 2 hours or we're going to have to repossess your property.”
Mum started sobbing uncontrollably, not knowing what to do. I couldn’t bear to watch her like this… She’d just been discharged from the hospital, and now these bastards stormed in here demanding money.
“Mum, why didn’t you ever mention that you were in debt?” I asked sadly.
“I thought it would go away,” Mum cried. “I can’t afford to pay it off.”
I put my finger to my chin in thought, trying to think of a possible solution. I couldn’t let this happen to Mum… she’d had bad enough luck already.
And the only person I could think of that could help us get out of this situation… was Steve.
I felt bad because Steve had a lot of bills to take care of under his measly wage as a plumber, but I couldn’t let Mum break like this. I couldn’t let these officers take our home. I was going to have to put my differences with Steve aside to sort this, no matter how mad I still was at him for letting me down time and time again. He was the only option… so I just hoped that he would be able to help us out.
