by J. M. Dabney
“Mind your own business.”
“Whatever you say, boss.”
Crave calling him boss pissed him the fuck off. He knew the man only did it for show. Scary turned to find the biggest asshole waiting at the end of the hall that opened into the main room. He pulled the door shut and headed in the cop’s direction. The sooner he got this over with the sooner he could get back to his boy.
9 ELIJAH’S SHOPPING TRIP FROM HELL
Elijah narrowed his eyes at Brody and Landon, the two of them were acting weird—weirder than usual which shouldn’t be possible. They’d shown up at his house and said they were going shopping. He hadn’t understood what that had to do with him because Brody knew he hated shopping with a passion. Elijah sipped his coffee as he walked between them a few blocks over from Twirled.
“Are we going to the shop?”
“No, Mina is hanging out with the guys and—”
Lucky bounced in front of him. “We’re going to have so much fucking fun,” The gleam in the crazy man’s eyes had him backing up.
“If he thinks it’s fun, I’m going home.”
“Stop, this is for your own good,” Landon looped his arm through his and tugged him close to his side.
“What do you mean for my own good?”
“Well, you’re about to take two massive dicks up the ass, you need toys,” Lucky couldn’t have said it any louder if he tried.
“Lucky, calm down. Take a breath,” Brody grabbed the shaking Lucky.
“But this is going to be—can you imagine the size of the plugs? It’ll be like gag sizes, well, not gagging really, they’ll be going up his—yea, yea, off-topic, but do you have a gag reflex?”
“I’m in hell. I’m having a nightmare.”
A camera click had him jerking his gaze to Lucky. “I’m posting this just gotta figure out the right hashtag. Do Scary and Tank have a—”
“I will kill you.”
“No you won’t. Priest would die of longing for my company and you’d have his death on your hands. I’m expendable, but my fucking bear is precious.”
“Elijah, hear us out,” Brody pleaded with him.
“This is embarrassing, can’t we do this—”
“No, we’re not buying you a plug online. We have to buy you a few. Last time I was at your house I peeked.”
“Brody, that’s personal.” Mortification caused his face to burn. Was he a serial killer in his past life because there must be a reason for deserving these people for friends.
“You haven’t updated the treasure box in quite a while.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the go-to toys.” He wasn’t going to admit to the frequency of their use since Scary and now Tank was in his life. It barely took the edge off his horniness especially not since the night at Scary’s house and the office at Brawlers.
“But, Elijah, you haven’t seen the monstrosities—”
Elijah turned bright red and averted his eyes.
“Elijah! You’re holding out.”
“Well, I am dating—I can’t believe I’m dating two men, when did my life turn into a porno about tattooed bikers and the twink?”
“Now, Elijah, you are so not a twink, way too fucking old—past the twink prime,” Lucky scoffed.
“How have you survived to the ripe old age of twenty-eight?”
“I’m cute and charming?”
“Like a rabid wolverine.”
“You think I’m dangerous and ferocious. I like it.”
“Only you’d take that as a compliment.”
Lucky shrugged.
“You have a death wish.”
“Well, it is at the end of my bucket list to have my obituary say that I died in the dildo aisle while screaming give me orgasms or give me death. Everyone has to have a goal.”
“Ignore him,” Landon stepped between him and Lucky. “You became one of us when Brody committed to this crazy ass crew of ours. As one of us, we want what’s best for you. I’ve known Scary and Tank for a decade and in that time I’ve learned they’re not the subtle or gentle types.”
“But sex lives should be private. I’m not like y’all.”
“Nothing wrong with that, but would you rather be proactive and prepare yourself—forgive the pun. There’s no shame in this.”
“But this is embarrassing and you brought him.” He whined and shot Lucky a death stare.
“I’m here for comic relief. I’m a fucking wealth of joy and hippie inspiration, motherfucker. Namaste and clean Chakras and all that good shit.”
“You need heavy sedation, hell, you just need to be medicated.”
Lucky started singing. It took him a moment, but then he realized the crazy shit was singing Ramones I Wanna be Sedated.
“There is something seriously wrong with you.”
“Me, please, I am a well-adjusted member—” Lucky snorted. “I said member. I’m feeling all Victorian virgin he thrust—” Oh kill him now, the British accent was atrocious. “His throbbing mem—”
“Stop.”
“I never understood that. Cock, what the fuck is wrong with cock, in my book cock is best. It’s throbbing, hard, thick or slender, cock is the way to go. Ride it, pound it into. Cock, cock, cock—” Brody, Landon and him slapped their hands over Lucky’s mouth.
“If we’re going to do this, can we just get it over before I go away for murder and I don’t have to worry about new toys or if I’m ready for two mammoth boyfriends.”
“Fuck yea, let’s do this damn thing.” Lucky fist pumped the air.
He squeaked as Lucky’s arm slipped under his and practically dragged him through the door. Brody and Landon chuckled as they followed.
“Welcome to Plugs-R-Us, where all your stretching needs will be fulfilled before Scary and Tank plow you. Hey, Fred,” Lucky called the guy behind the counter.
“Hey, twice in one week, thought you had a pretty bear?”
Fred aimed a dubious glance his way.
“Oh no, this ain’t mine, this belongs to two of—”
“Shut up, Lucky.”
“Two, wow, innocent and freaky, why didn’t you bring him around before?”
“Naw, man, he’s obsessed with riding the massive—”
Lucky grunted as Elijah rammed his elbow into his chest. “I’ll gladly go to prison before this day is over.”
“Do you know how popular you’d be in prison? My asshole cringes at the thought.”
Elijah adored Lucky, even if the man was completely and utterly insane, but his patience had a limit. He’d just reached it. “Let’s make a deal, never mention your cringing asshole ever again.”
“Prude. Fred, my good man, point us in the direction of the plugs.”
“Straight back, third aisle over, you should know this by now.”
“I don’t come here that fucking often.”
“Sure, man, whatever you say.”
He dropped his chin to his chest and let Lucky lead him. This proved he needed new friends and to think he’d longed to be a part of this group. What had he been thinking?
“Okay, I’m assuming you don’t have any plugs at home.”
“No, why would I need one, I have a very—what in fake Jesus’s name am I saying?”
“Loosen up, get it—loosen up.”
“I’m so out of here,” He spun to escape only to come face to face with Brody.
“Vagina up, man.” Lucky ordered.
“What are you talking about?”
“I would say Nut up, but one tap to the nuts and the biggest and baddest goes down like a slut at a blowjob competition, a vagina shoots out a kid. What the fuck is that? That shit can take a fucking pounding, those things self-lube and instantaneous stretch. Lucky bitches. I’ve never tried one, but I’m sure Brody knows all about that shit.”
“Don’t you ever just stop and think, you know maybe I shouldn’t say that?”
Lucky looked confused by the question. “No. My Mama said women are the stronger sex.”
>
“I didn’t think so and I do love your mother.” Lily Trenton like her son was a menace, but he loved her as much as he did Peaches.
“Yea, everyone does, she's a goddess.” Lucky approached the display and faced him. “Okay, back to the task at hand. It’s kinda like getting your ears stretched, sometimes you want to just go for it, punch it or just shove that taper in like a motherfucking boss, but in this case gradual is key. Now, I’m more for a bit of burn,” Lucky spoke as he waved his arm Vanna White style to a row of plugs in increasing sizes. “For you, my friend, we need to treat you like the delicate fucking flower you are.”
Elijah felt his lips twitch and figured it finally happened the Twirled Crew drove him insane.
“So, big brother, this is what we’re gonna do—”
“We?”
“We don’t envy you,” Landon and Brody said.
“My men are gorgeous.”
“He said his men, and he’s completely blind. Scary makes people cross the street to avoid him. I was one of them.” Brody turned to check out the display of vibrators.
“But you have to admit him and Tank have that dangerous, bad boy thing going for them,” Landon eyed a huge dildo shaped like a fist.
He shook his head and brought his attention back to Lucky.
“Start with this one first, wear it at work, it’ll hit the prostate and you’ll be calling one or both of your men to come take care—”
“I’m not having office sex.”
“I can attest that office sex is hot as hell. Zerk’s come by a few times for lunch.”
“You are all too free with telling people—” Another shutter of a camera drew his attention and he turned to find Lucky taking pictures of toys. “What are you doing?”
“Sending pics to Scary and Tank to ask what we should buy you?”
“What,” His voice rose several octaves as he started wringing his hands. Please let him be joking, he reached for his phone to start making flight reservations for Antarctica.
“Um, yea, I mean, they’re kinda for them too.”
“I’m out of here. How many have you sent them?”
“I don’t know, I’ve gotten a few texts, the language those two can pop out is fucking shocking. For a silent dude Tank can sure get the point across through text.”
“I’m going home now—” He turned to head for the door and his worst nightmare happened. Tank and Scary were coming through the door and the look on their faces were enough to scare the hell out of sociopath. “Oh hell,” He ducked into the circular rack of fetish wear and set in the middle of it.
“What the fuck are you three up to,” Scary’s voice was gravelly and pissed.
“Scary, Tank, how are you two today?”
Elijah almost snorted at the sugary sweet and innocent tone Landon was trying to pull off.
“Don’t use that bullshit tone, I’ve walked in on Zerk fucking you like you’re goddamn Gumby. Where the fuck is our boy?”
“He was just here—”
“He’s hiding in the rack.”
Lucky that snitch. Elijah drew his knees to his chest and wished for invisibility. The plastic hangers clicked together as French Maid costumes parted and there were his men crouched down looking at him.
“How did you get into this?”
“They ambushed me. I thought we were going shopping. Lucky said since I was taking two—”
“Baby, come out of there.”
Tank held out his hand.
“I don’t wanna, I just want to live here. I could do a lot with this space.”
Tank’s lips twitched. Please—Tank signed. Scary disappeared.
He shook his head, Tank just smiled and crawled in with him. He laughed as Tank lifted him onto his lap and snuggled him close. His life wasn’t boring since the Twirled Crew came into his life.
My heroes, thank you for saving me—Elijah signed. Tank responded with you’re welcome. He laid his head on Tank’s chest and waited for Scary to get the three annoying men to leave.
“You three can go, we’ll take care of our boy from here. This was our fucking business and you three nosy shits should’ve stayed out of it.”
“But, Scary, we’ve seen you naked, my brother doesn’t need to feel like he’s been fisted by Godzilla and now there’s two of you. The sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling. The porn is horrific.”
He groaned as he covered his face and Tank chuckled at him.
“Out, we’re fucking done with y’all.”
“Can’t we say—”
A growl cut Landon off.
“No you can’t. Say bye, I think you three have done enough damage. Now we gotta talk our boy out of living in a rack of fetish latex.”
“But, but, Scary, I had a whole fucking tutorial planned. We were just getting to the gradual stretch and to start with—”
“I will kill you and make your dream of fucking your little bear impossible.”
“Don’t threaten my man’s future transcendent sexual experience with this hot fucking hippie,” Lucky grumbling faded as it appeared he was leaving.
It got quiet and then Scary reappeared.
“The coast is clear. What the hell were you thinking?”
“That I was safe with my friend and brother, then Lucky showed up and it spiraled out of control. Is he on drugs?”
“Prescribed or recreational?”
“Either because that man is insane.”
“You want to know something fucking scary?”
“Don’t tell me he’s mellowed.”
“Since Priest has been around, yea. What are you doing here?”
“Dying of embarrassment. I was about to start checking for flights to Antarctica.”
Tank chuckled loudly and tightened his arms around Elijah.
“Come on, let’s buy you some new toys.”
“No,” Elijah squeaked.
“Yes, something we can watch you fuck yourself with later.”
“You’re as bad as them.”
Tank lifted him and passed him to Scary, this having boyfriends much bigger than him was starting to suck.
Elijah straightened to find Fred watching them with an amused look on his face.
“Do I have to pick stuff out?”
“No, we fucking got this handled.”
He stood back as his men had a silent conversation as they picked up several boxes and he followed behind. Every time he tried to peek at what they held they’d move shoulder to shoulder blocking him.
“What are y’all getting?”
“You’ll see later when you come to the house for the date you rescheduled for some fucking job interview.”
“Don’t be mean.”
“Not mean, honest.”
He fell into silence as Tank led him towards the door while Scary headed for the register.
“What did you two get,” he asked as he walked outside.
Tank shook his head.
He huffed and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the brick wall beside the door.
Quit pouting—Tank signed.
“I’m not pouting.” He caught Tank rolling his eyes.
Tank closed the distance between them and braced his hands on either side of Elijah’s head. His man leaned down and Tank rubbed his scruff along his throat. He closed his eyes as he brought his hands up to settle on Tank’s sides. The roughness of Tank’s beard caused him to shiver. How did he make it to his age without realizing what he was missing?
Drawing back slightly until he could stroke his lips against Tank’s and suck at his lower one, while Tank mirrored the move on Elijah’s top lip. He didn’t care they were in public. Elijah fisted his fingers in Tank’s t-shirt and tugged him a little closer. Tank’s hands sunk into his hair and pulled until Elijah’s head tipped back to deepen the kiss.
His natural pessimism tried to take over and he pushed it away. A relationship with these two men was what he wanted and he didn’t know where it would go, but he wasn’t go
ing to deny it to himself or anyone else.
10 TANK IS THE ODD MAN OUT
Organizing the receipts and taking care of the accounting for the night was the shit part of his job. Tank sipped his pint and tried to put away the fucked up direction of his thoughts. He admitted he wasn’t the most confident fucker around. The scars kind of messed with his head for two decades. Guys like Elijah didn’t fall into his lap. Scary didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought and most days Tank didn’t either, yet this was Elijah.
He opened the spreadsheet to start inputting the information he needed to send to their accountant for the morning. Tank looked around to make sure everyone had vacated the premises before he slipped on his reading glasses. Forty-three years of bar fights and security was taking its toll on him, he wasn’t pretty—unlike Elijah.
Tank never met a man whose lips were so soft. Elijah touched his scars as if they didn’t exist. He’d had plenty of men who wanted to bend over for him, but none who wanted to touch him—kiss him. It was a pathetic turn of events. It was almost laughable how hard he’d fallen. Scarred and cold Tank Davis was close to caring for someone for the first time in twenty years.
He remembered the first one, the reason he’d come out of the closet and tattooed a target on his back. His neighborhood didn’t tolerate differences. Gay got a guy’s ass stomped into the asphalt. If you were lucky, you’d be able to crawl away and if not, it was a one-way trip to the morgue.
Ian had been like him, big and rough, and in no hurry to have his ass six-feet under. They’d met up every chance they got at a motel as far from their home turf as possible. He knew they didn’t love each other—he wasn’t disillusioned enough to think at twenty-three he’d have anything permanent. The experience accomplished one thing he hadn’t wanted to hide.
He’d packed up his shit and got ready to leave, Scary came by his apartment to ask him what the fuck he was doing. Back then Scary had been called Brawler. The most dangerous fucker in the neighborhood and Tank’s best friend. He’d come out and Scary nearly knocked his teeth out for keeping shit from him.
