by Emily Childs
“Perfect! See you soon.”
I smirk at Dot. “Friends with Jace now?”
“What? She’s funny. Sort of a spitfire too. Our kind of girl, even if she’s Rafe’s cousin, we can still buddy up don’t you think?”
“Yes. Come on, she says she has something to cheer me up.”
“Probably Rafe on one knee.”
I snort. “I don’t think she’d get his stubborn butt to make another move, and I don’t think she’d interfere that much.”
At least I hope not. Seeing Rafe will shatter my heart all over again. He’s called. I have his voicemail—all it said was to please call him back. No I love you, no I’m sorry. Then he called when I was in a meeting with the school. Again, nothing more than his name on the screen.
I have the sinking feeling his lack of interest in the things broken between us is proof he wasn’t as invested as I thought. But then I remind myself that I know Rafe. He’s a vault sometimes, especially when he’s reeling, or hurt. Still, I need more from him right now. I don’t need a vault.
My parents are confused as ever, of course. I’m grateful, though. Mama hasn’t said a degrading word, she’s even let me cry. Daddy doesn’t interfere with matters of the heart, but he’d asked for the entire scoop and listened intently not two nights before as I cried over the only man I’ve truly loved.
“Ollie!” Jace calls, drawing me out of my thoughts.
“Hi, I—” I stop when a familiar face beams back at me. I shriek, like a lunatic, and shove past Dot and Jace, then fling my arms around his neck. “Auggie! Oh, my goodness, it’s so good to see you.”
August wraps his arms around me, but gives me room to keep bouncing on my toes. “Hi, lollipop. It’s good to see you too, girl.”
I wipe a tear and shriek again when I see Lily. I squeeze the life out of her and laugh as if we’ve never been apart. But in another breath, I’m lost to the black stroller. “Oh goodness—she’s beautiful. Y’all know I’m going to hold her this instant no matter what you say.”
Lily and August laugh as I dig into the carrier and scoop out the little blue-eyed girl. Her head tucks under my chin. I bounce and kiss her cheeks. “I’m in love.” I kiss the top of the baby’s head. “That’s right, beautiful, I love you.”
Jace comes to my side. “I told you I’d cheer you up.”
I spare an awkward glance at August. He only smiles back. August likely knows there’ve been a few romantic moments between me and his brother and it’s on the borderline of awkward. I try to shrug it off. “You’re right. I’m officially cheered up. Glad you finally met Auggie.”
“It’s good to meet everyone,” Jace says. “My brother is coming down next week to join in the fun. I think y’all will get along with him.
I hold my breath when I finally notice Millie standing back, cane in hand. In all my baby excitement I didn’t see her. Thankfully, there’s no sign of Rafe.
“Hi, Millie.”
Millie drifts to a bench and pats the place next to her. I swallow and cling to baby Brin. When August and Lily turn to talk to Jace and Dot, I take it as my cue to go and talk with Millie.
“How are you doing, sweetie-pie?”
“I’m okay, Mill.”
She tilts her head and tickles Brin’s toes. “We were always able to talk about heartache before.”
My pulse is thudding in my throat as I close my eyes. “That was before it was a heartache with your son.” I don’t know what Rafe has said, but I can’t keep any lies going a moment longer. “Millie, we weren’t engaged. I don’t know if Rafe told you, but it wasn’t real.”
Millie laughs, surprising me, and rubs my back. “Oh, Ollie I know. I knew the entire time.”
“What? You gave me . . . your mother’s ring.” Which I still have in my apartment.
“Olive,” Millie says. “I understand what doctors tell me. I understand all my instructions from my therapists, you think I couldn’t gather when you two fools came in to tell me you weren’t really engaged? I know your mama paid Rafe the day the Abernathy boy lost your trust. I know it all because your mama cleared it with me the day after she asked him. Wanted to be respectful and all that.”
I rock Brin, a sting of tears well in my eyes. Millie always knew? Even stranger, my mother spoke to her about the arrangement. I know Mama visited Millie a few times, but it sort of warms my heart knowing my strait-laced mother did all that. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it was the nudge you two needed, sweetheart. I was right, wasn’t I? Turned out y’all weren’t pretending after all.”
“Millie, you know . . . you know what happened, right?”
“Again, Ollie, I had a stroke. I didn’t lose my eyesight. I had words with my son yesterday, and I told him the same thing I’m going to tell you: are you willing to let it all go over one bump in the road?”
My chin trembles. “I can’t be with Rafe if he’s going to hold my last name over our relationship all the time. I love him, Mill. I never lied about that, but I can’t convince him to be with me if he doesn’t think we belong together.”
Millie pats my knee. “I know sweetie. Men can be fickle, can’t they? I want you to know, Ollie, you’re a daughter to me. Always have been, always will be. You should also know I’m praying both of you, or one of you, will smarten up and break through some pride and not throw something real away. You give that some thought.”
I grin and brush back Brin’s feathery hair. “I will, Millie. I promise.”
Chapter 29
Rafe
“What’s this?” I ask.
Zac shrugs, and points at the brochure he shoved into my hand. “Some lady stopped by with information about trade programs and scholarships for us. Thought I’d show it to you.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re the one who always talked about school. There’s an engineering technology certificate, look there.”
I follow his finger to the description of the program. More hands on, it says. Perfect for those who like to design then build. A lot of trigger words that get people like me excited. Truth told, it’s intriguing. “I like working here, Zac.”
He rolls his eyes, scrubbing his now thick beard. “And I expect you to stay. The program takes four years, man. But a lot of the courses are at night.”
“Why don’t you go?”
“I make plenty of money owning this place and I have no desire to go back to school.”
I’m interested, but it’s not practical. With a touch of disappointment, I hand it back. “Takes money to go to school.”
“Yeah, it does,” he says as he hops into his truck. “Somehow people without money find a way. There are programs to help, Rafe. August is going to school and they aren’t rolling in it. Plus, they have a kid. Think about it, that’s all.”
“You sound like—”
“Olive,” Zac finishes. I know my friend is on my side. I mean, of course he is. However, sometimes it seems like he’s biting back an opinion from the tip of his tongue when it comes to my relationship. Or rather, nonexistent relationship. Zac starts his truck, grinning smugly. “Well, she’s not the only one who thinks you can do things you don’t believe you can. I’ll see you on Friday. Your place, right?”
I nod stiffly. “Barbecue. Lily’s frying up a few things. She’s gone rogue and thinks Louisiana does fried food better.”
Zac snorts in disgust. “What’s she talking about? We’ll see about that. Anyway, have a good week off, man.”
I toss the brochure onto the passenger seat of my truck before heading home. The weight of this last week leaves me slumped and burdened, crushing me little by little. School is tempting, and I break a little knowing the first person I want to talk to about it all is Olive.
But she’s not here. Not anymore.
Because of me.
Everyone must still be at the beach. I took the rest of the week off for August’s visit. On Monday I received my paycheck from Cutler Incorporated. I’ve
never seen that big of a check all at once, it made me sick, but August deposited it for me, and he said he’ll take over buying the medical supplies we still need to help our mom.
I told him to take whatever is left over to help with a down payment on a condo for her whenever she’s ready to be on her own again.
The house is empty, but I smile at the bottles and pacifiers drying along my counter. Something about little Brin keeps the gloom from becoming unbearable.
After I shower and try to decide if I should make something simple or order pizzas for everyone, a steady knock breaks my solitude. I brush my hand through my hair to free the ends of dripping water as I answer. I forget to breathe.
Lon Cutler is at my door.
“Hi, Rafe,” Lon says. This is one of the few times I’ve seen the man dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. He still looks important.
“Sir,” I mutter. “Good to see you.”
“I was hoping I might come in and have a word.” He grins, kind of like he knows I’m about to toss my lunch. Kind of like he’s glad to be intimidating me. Can’t say I blame him.
I prepare mentally. This man I’ve respected my entire life is about to rip my throat out. I promise to take it like a man. Better to face this now without everyone watching when he cuts me at the knees.
I open my door wide. “Come on in.”
Lon takes in my front room, chuckling when he points at the small box of baby toys.
“August is in town,” I tell him.
“That’s right. Lily sent us word they were coming about now. I’ll make a point to see that baby then.”
“Can I get you anything?”
Lon shakes his head and settles onto my couch. “No, I’m just fine. I suspect you know why I’m here.”
“I imagine it has something to do with the shower.” I wipe my clammy hands on my jeans, crack two knuckles at once, then sit across from him on the other couch.
“Right on the mark. You see, when I sit with my daughter and see tears in her eyes while she tells me she’s in love with a man and now it’s all fallen apart, I’m left rather confused. I’m not one to get involved, but this is different with you, Rafe. We’ve known each other too long.”
Olive told her parents. Guilt ravishes my gut like insatiable hunger, pinching and gnawing. Leaning over my knees, the only place I can look is at my carpet. “I apologize for upsetting your family. I respect you, and I never meant to cause any problems for anyone.”
Lon has a young face, only a little salt and pepper on his sideburns. He’s a kind man, but there are times he can hold your attention with a single look because you’re too afraid to look away. “Let’s forget formalities, son, and get right to it. Tell me what changed your opinion of my girl—your friend—so quickly.”
“Sir, nothing changed in how I feel.”
“Then here I am, as confused as I was. Olive didn’t hold back, you see. Saying all kinds of things about love and whatnot. Now, as her father I’m a little biased, but I’m curious how you can walk away if a girl like mine is saying all that to you? You don’t feel the same?”
I scoff bitterly and relax against the cushions. “She means everything to me,” I tell him without hesitating. “But I’m not a man who can give Olive the life she’s known.”
Lon frowns and I shut my mouth. He narrows his eyes. “I know you’re not going to tell me you broke my daughter’s heart because you don’t live in your own Big House. I know you’re more of a man than that.”
Seems I’m not. My knee bounces without much control. My heart races. “Mr. Cutler—”
“Lon, son. Call me, Lon.”
“Lon,” I say taking a breath. Time to be blunt. “Am I the type of guy you want with your daughter?”
His face softens and he even smiles. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but I wasn’t running after Tom Abernathy to get his side of things, now was I?”
I chuckle. “No, but let’s be honest. It’d be quite a shock if folks at all those parties knew the real me.”
“Listen Rafe,” he sighs. “I won’t pretend to know what bull you’ve been told in your life. I’ve heard some, but I’m sure I don’t know it all. We tried to treat everyone like friends. I know Bernie seems stiff sometimes, but she loves everyone at the house. The woman simply has her own upbringing to overcome. Your daddy is scum if you don’t mind me saying. After Millie came to us looking for work, I always hoped we’d make you and August feel accepted. So, if we—me in particular—ever gave you the impression I thought less of you because of where you come from, then shame on me.”
I’m stunned. Enough that I stare at Lon like an idiot for at least two minutes. “I never felt disrespected by you, sir.”
“Good. From what I’ve seen since y’all were tiny, I don’t expect Olive ever made you feel less than the most important guy in her life.”
I clear my throat, embarrassed at the husk in my voice. “Lon, I won’t ever have what the Abernathy’s have to provide for Olive.” Perhaps the words are a test, to gauge Lon’s true feelings. The sort of feelings people like Tom and Beau have tossed at me my entire life.
Lon’s laugh is rife with frustration. “Son, have you lost your ever-loving mind? You think I want a guy like Tom Abernathy for my girl? I saw the way he mocked Ollie, I noticed how her eyes were flat around the boy. Between you and me, when the engagement was called off, I was leaping for joy inside.”
A smile curls in the corner of my mouth. Something cracks inside, deep and fierce. Like Lon awakens the wonderfully selfish side of me that is willing to say I want her. I want her more than I want air, and I couldn’t care less what anyone else has to say about it all. The exact idea Olive has been pounding into my head since we were kids. All this time I’ve been a stubborn mule, afraid to believe I could have everything I wanted. That I could take something precious like her for myself.
“Listen up, Rafe,” Lon continues. “If you think I’d stand between my only child and a man who respects her, values her, lights up her face, then you must think poorly of me as a father.”
“No, sir,” I say. “I’d never think anything but the best of your family.”
“Then what are you doing?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I hurt Ollie, said things that I didn’t mean because . . . I was a coward.”
“Yes, it would seem you did. What are you going to do about it?”
I dare smile, a sincere grin that fits with what I say next. “I love Olive. More than I can say. There are people who think she should run far away from me.”
“Sounds like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”
“But if it’s all the same to you,” I tell him. “After a few good tongue lashings from . . . everyone . . . I don’t care anymore. Olive is worth more to me than them. I mean it.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” he says, “but I’m not the one you need to be telling.”
I’m about to admit the truth about Olive’s reluctance to speak with me when the front door creaks and a bluster of laughter interrupts. Lon peeks over his shoulder as Lily steps in first, a fussing Brin in her arms. She stops, eyes wide, as August shoves in with the folded stroller in his hand, the other out for our mom.
“You okay, Mama?”
“Fine, who’s here in the fancy car?”
Over her initial shock, Lily grins and hurries to Lon. “Mr. Cutler!” She practically squeals, but then, she did live with them for over a year. “What a wonderful surprise.”
August turned around, caught off guard for half a breath, then he laughs.
Lon releases Lily, then moves to my brother. “August, glad to see you back.”
“Good to see you, sir. You giving Rafe a piece of your mind?”
“A small piece.” Lon chuckles and holds out a hand for our mom as she steps into the room. “Millie, you’re even prettier than the last time I saw you.”
She squeezes his waist in a side hug. “Well, last time you saw me I was drooling out one side of my mouth.”
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Lon grins and waits until she’s sitting, then claps his hands together. “Well, I’ll be getting out of your way. You give some thought to what I said, Rafe.”
“Why don’t you stay for dinner, Mr. Cutler,” Lily says, now Brin is calm and sucking on a pacifier.
“Thank you, but I have a boring business dinner I’m due at in an hour, and I best change first. Look at this girl. You two do good work.” Lon tickles Brin’s little arm with a grin. “Y’all come up to the house sometime before you head on back though. We’ll never forgive you if you don’t.”
“Yes, sir,” August says.
I shake his hand at the door. “Thank you, Lon.”
“You’ve got people on your side, Rafe. Don’t forget it. Bye, now.”
Everyone waves, but falls silent the second the front door closes again. I avoid their eyes, and feel every gaze pouring into me.
August takes Brin from Lily and clears his throat. “You going to let us know what that was all about?”
I glance at the window at the fading sunlight, drumming the sides of my legs, and face my brother. “I need to go.”
“Where?” Lily asks.
“I need to talk with Olive.”
I don’t miss the crooked smile spreading over my mom’s face.
“She’s at the Big House,” August says.
“What? How do you know?”
August gently pats Brin’s back, smiling. “Oh, we saw her at The Battery. She’s at the Big House. Don’t screw it up, Rafe, or Mama won’t let you back inside.”
“Okay.” I draw in a long breath. “I’ll be back.”
Chapter 30
Olive
Seeing August and Lily had been both delightful and pure anguish. I want to be with the Whitfields right now, enjoying each other and laughing. I want to cuddle little Brin while I hold Rafe’s hand.
I thought he might call if he knew I spoke with his brother, but my phone is nearly drained of life, and silent as the grave.
I made a spur of the moment decision, knowing Daddy had a fancy business dinner, to eat with my mother. Just us. We’d eaten simple sandwiches, no one watching, and I suppose one good thing has come from this: I’m talking to my mother.
