Perhaps the fates had known it was too soon for them and intervened, sending them on divergent paths until the time was right. Because it felt right, now. Sitting here in a packed church surrounded by a community she was becoming to feel she belonged in, she truly felt like she was in exactly the right place, at exactly the right time. As the organist struck up the opening bars to ‘Once in Royal David’s City’, a single tear trickled down her cheek. Home. She was home, at last. If only the boys could be there with her, everything would be perfect.
Though Jess managed to hide how much she was missing them throughout most of Christmas Day morning, the Skype call with her boys after lunch was pure torture. They were so full of excitement and stories about what they’d been doing with their dad she couldn’t help but smile, even though her heart was breaking at being apart from them.
When she finally crawled into bed that night, she was too tired to fight back the tears and buried her head in her pillow. A creak from the attic stairs a few minutes later alerted her to Tristan’s imminent arrival. Sitting up, she did her best to mop her face and put on a bright smile.
With a bottle of champagne under one arm and a pair of crystal flutes dangling from the fingers of the other, he gave her a rakish smile as he kicked the bedroom door shut behind him. ‘I think you deserve this, after all your hard work today.’ His face fell almost immediately. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing, I’m being silly,’ she managed through a fresh sting of tears. ‘I just miss the boys.’
After setting the champagne and glasses down on the nightstand, he climbed onto the bed and drew her into his arms. ‘Shh. You’re not being silly, and of course you miss them. Have a little cry if you need to.’
Safe and snug in his embrace, she wept herself out, grateful for his understanding. When she finally felt better, she wriggled away from him to go to the bathroom and wash her face. By the time she returned, he’d opened the champagne. Accepting a glass, she clinked it against his and took a sip. ‘Oh, that’s good.’
‘I’ve got something else that might make you feel even better,’ he said with an exaggerated wink.
She couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Come on then, show me what you’ve got.’
Reaching into his pocket, he drew out his phone, opened a video clip and handed it to her. ‘I recorded this the other day.’
Elijah’s laughter filled the air. ‘Watch me, Tristan! Watch how fast I can go.’ Little legs pumping he cycled around the stable yard, eyes shining with joy. The image changed and they were inside the stable block. She watched as Lancelot led out a pony from a stall and hitched him to a railing. With gentle encouragement, he introduced first Elijah and then Isaac to the animal. The wonder on their faces put a lump in her throat.
‘When did you film this?’ she murmured, unable to tear her eyes from the screen.
‘Last week when you went shopping with Lucie. I meant to show you that evening, but I got distracted. They were so happy that day, I thought it might help cheer you up.’
‘Thank you.’ As the clip ended, her guilt eased. Yes, her boys were happy to be spending time with Steve and their grandparents, but they were happy here at Bluebell Castle, too. She raised her glass to Tristan’s. ‘Merry Christmas.’
Instead of clinking glasses, he leaned forward and kissed her. ‘Merry Christmas, darling.’
‘Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!’ Elijah barely gave his father time to unbuckle his seat belt before he was flying across the gravel towards her.
Crouching down, she hoisted him into her arms and held him tight, showering his little face in kisses until he squirmed in protest. ‘Welcome home, darling! Did you have a lovely time?’
‘I did! I got lots of presents. I was worried that Santa wouldn’t be able to find us, but Daddy said he wrote to him and told him where we’d be, and when I woke up in the morning, all my presents were there under Granny’s tree.’
‘That’s good to know, and well done Daddy for making sure Santa got the right house.’ She grinned up at Steve as he came over to them, carrying Isaac. ‘Everything all right?’
He nodded. ‘The journey was fine, thanks, and the boys have been good as gold all week.’ He raised an eyebrow at the castle next to them. ‘Nice place you’ve got here.’
She laughed. ‘We’ve only got a tiny bit at the top, but it suits us just fine. You can come up and have a look if you like?’
Steve shook his head. ‘Maybe another time?’ She’d messaged him to say she was thinking about extending her time at the castle, without elaborating on all the reasons why, and he’d been fully supportive, saying he could see the boys were thriving up here. He set Isaac down on the ground. ‘Eli? Why don’t you take your brother inside while I have a quick word with Mummy?’
‘Okay, Daddy.’ They exchanged hugs and kisses and Steve promised he would Skype them the next day.
Jess watched with an eagle-eye as Elijah helped his little brother up the big stone steps one at a time to where Lucie was waiting at the top to greet them. ‘Are you sure you won’t come in?’ she asked, turning back to Steve once Lucie had waved to say she had them okay.
‘I’d rather just unpack and run, if it’s all the same to you.’ He scuffed a foot in the gravel. ‘It’s a couple of hours from here to Wrexham, I’d like to try and get there in the daylight.’ She’d been surprised when Steve had told her he would be bringing the boys back, until he’d explained the reason behind it. He and Holly, his geologist friend had certainly progressed beyond coffee.
‘Meeting the parents, eh?’ She said, giving his shoulder a playful push.
He laughed. ‘It’s nothing serious. Holly told them I was spending time with the boys, and they thought I might be feeling a bit blue afterwards and might like a few days away.’
‘Don’t believe a word of it! You’re going to be inspected, so you’d best behave yourself.’
A polite cough came from behind them, and she turned to see Tristan on the steps.
‘I thought you might need a hand bringing the boys stuff in,’ he said, not moving closer.
‘Good idea.’ She waved him over. ‘This is Steve, be kind to him as he’s off to meet his new girlfriend’s parents.’
‘Hi. Tristan Ludworth, it’s good to meet you.’ Tristan shook Steve’s hand. ‘Well they can’t be any scarier than Wendy, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.’
Steve laughed. ‘Good point, and it’s nice to meet you, too. I’ve heard a lot about you.’
When Tristan raised an eyebrow at her, Jess shook her head. ‘Not from me!’
Steve laughed again. ‘From the boys. They’ve told me about everyone here. It’s good to know they’ve got so many people looking out for them.’
‘They’re a credit to you. The whole family adores them, you should see the pile of presents underneath the tree ready for later.’
‘I hope you’ll find room for everything, because I’ve got a boot full of stuff already.’ Steve raised his eyes to the castle. ‘Not that you’re short of space.’
‘Very true.’ Tristan rubbed his hands, reminding Jess of how chilly it was outside. ‘Look, let’s not stand around here, come inside and have a coffee.’
‘I won’t, but thanks, I appreciate the offer.’
Tristan shrugged like it was nothing. ‘As long as your boys are under this roof, I want you to feel welcome here.’
Jess felt her heart swell as she watched them interact. Here was the crossover between her past and her future, and it could’ve been awkward as hell. Instead, she felt only blessed to know these two very decent men, and her boys were blessed too for no matter whether they were with her or their father, they’d have a wonderful role model to guide them.
It was later that evening, when Jess slipped out from the chaos of the family room for a quick check on their guests. Elijah and Isaac were in their element, any upset they were feeling at being separated from their dad skilfully deflected by the fuss Tristan and the rest of the Ludworths had made of them. A stac
k of presents sat next to the small tree they’d put up in the corner. Nothing too grandiose, rather lots of small things including practical gifts like new wellies and coats as both were already threatening to outgrow what they had. The main gift had been a contribution from them all, and she’d left the boys sprawled on the carpet between Arthur and Tristan, a couple of big kids themselves, as they slotted together the tracks of an amazing train set. There would be enough track to cover half of the playroom floor as well as a fantastic array of old-fashioned locomotives, heavy goods diesels with stacks of shiny trucks to tow behind them and even the latest version of a high-speed passenger train.
Closing the door behind her, she pressed her back to it and listened for a moment to the piping laughter of her sons. They were so happy here, and it made the decision she’d been moving towards that much easier to make. Yes, there would be risks to starting a new business with Tristan, but that feeling which had started in the church – no, before that, when they’d first sat together beneath the starlight – cemented itself in her heart. This was home now, not just for her, but for Eli and Isaac, as well. She couldn’t wait to put the boys to bed so she could be alone with Tristan and tell him.
‘Here she is!’ Tim’s warm voice greeted her the moment she entered the library to find him and Charlie sprawled in a pair of wing-backed leather chairs, china cups full of coffee and a pair of brandy balloons on the table between them.
‘I was just coming to check on you but looks like you’re already well taken care of.’
‘That marvellous butler came through not ten minutes ago,’ Charlie replied. ‘We were just plotting to steal him away. Speaking of which,’ he held out a hand to her as he rose from his chair. ‘Come and sit for a minute, we wanted to talk to you.’
‘Everything’s okay?’ she asked, taking the vacated seat while Charlie perched opposite on the arm of Tim’s chair.
‘Everything’s fine, couldn’t be better. We’ve both been so impressed with what you’ve done here, haven’t we?’ Charlie glanced down at his partner, who nodded in agreement.
‘That’s what we want to talk to you about, Jess. You’re wasted up here, and I am mad as hell we didn’t fight harder to keep you at the firm. We should’ve done more to help you manage your personal situation.’ Tim said.
‘And that’s why we want you to come back,’ Charlie burst out. ‘Whatever you need, we’ll work out a package to help you. Rent allowance, childcare provisions, flexible working so you’d only need to be in the office one or two days a week. Whatever it will take to bring you back, we’re ready to do it.’
If she hadn’t already been sitting down, she might have fallen over. Part of her was exhilarated to know all her hard work here at the castle had left them with such a good impression, the other part … the other part wanted to throw itself on the ground and cry at the unfairness of it all. Just when she thought she knew what she was doing, these two came along and pulled the rug out from under her. Heart had been able to overcome head when she’d not had a solid career option on the table, but this was more than that. She wouldn’t be starting over, she’d be going back to a place where people knew her, to a job she excelled at, and if what they were saying was true, she might even be able to afford somewhere in her old neighbourhood so Elijah would be able to go to school with the friends he’d made in pre-school. Isaac could go back to his old nursery, too. Her finances would be stable, as well. Although she’d been paid a regular salary for her work here at the castle, if she and Tristan were to start their own business, there’d be no certainty of income for at least the first few months.
But if she went to London, she wouldn’t have him. And the boys wouldn’t have him, or all the other wonderful members of this eclectic, loving family they’d found themselves in the middle of.
‘What’s the matter?’ Charlie asked, deep lines furrowing his brow. ‘We thought you’d be over the moon.’
Jess forced a smile, trying to cover the heartbreak and turmoil inside her. ‘I am, I mean, thank you. I’m just a little taken aback, as it was the last thing I was expecting. Can I have some time to think about it?’
‘Of course.’ Tim leaned over to pat her hand. ‘Take all the time you need.’
Rising on unsteady legs, Jess sent them both a more grateful smile. They really were two of the most wonderful, generous people she knew. ‘Thank you again. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.’
She made it out of the library and around the corner before sliding down the wall to hug her knees in a tight ball. What the hell was she going to do?
Chapter 19
New Year’s Eve dawned crisp and bright. Scowling at the beam of bright sunshine breaking through where he’d forgotten to close his curtains properly the previous evening, Tristan climbed out of bed to drag them shut, then crawled between his sheets once more. How had everything gone to shit in the space of forty-eight hours? He’d been so sure, so bloody certain Jess was going to stay – especially after the way she’d been with him on those few stolen nights when the boys had been away.
Only Tim and Charlie had opened their very generous hearts – and wallets – and offered her the one thing he didn’t have to give her right now – financial security. Oh, he knew they’d be fine. Arthur wouldn’t let them starve, for God’s sake, and he was sure in his heart that between him and Jess they had the perfect combination to make a success of a new business. But he didn’t want to have to go cap in hand to Arthur, and he was damn sure Jess would baulk at the idea. He didn’t even have a proper home to offer her, as he’d not had time to sort out the renovations on the gatehouse, so, he’d be expecting her to squat up in the attic for the foreseeable future.
If he was her, he knew which option he would choose, so he couldn’t be mad at her about it. At Tim and Charlie, sure, that pair of interfering bastards were off his Christmas card list forever. But he knew Jess well enough to know she’d make the right decision in the best interest of her boys. It didn’t have to spell the end for the two of them; he’d sworn he would wait for her, and he’d meant it. He could split his time between here and London, assuming that’s what she wanted, and work hard to establish the business so once the boys were older and he could prove to her that he could give her that security she needed, they could build a future together.
It hurt. It hurt so much he felt like he’d been punched in the gut, but they weren’t kids, and whatever he’d told himself before about wanting to be her Prince Charming was a fantasy more suited to a child than a man. Life didn’t care about aching hearts and empty beds, it just kept rolling inexorably forward and it was up to him to adapt. He was the free agent, the one who could afford to be flexible. Give and take, that’s what love was. Well if he had to spend the next few years giving, so what? Jess was worth it.
He didn’t have much time to sulk over the next few hours as he worked with Arthur, Lancelot, Will and Maxwell to dismantle the enormous round table. Unlike the original, the replica had been designed and put together in sections, and although it took several hours of hard work, sweat and enough swearing from Will to fund as many luxury weekend breaks as Iggy could possibly want, they finally had the last piece stacked in one of the store rooms. Mrs W and her little crew moved in straight afterwards, scrubbing and polishing the tiles until they gleamed. The dogs and all their paraphernalia had been relocated to the family room, leaving the vast expanse of the great hall free for the dancing to come.
Dusty and tired, he headed up to his room for a shower and a catnap. It would be a late night, and he had a couple of hours to kill before the final preparations got underway, and the castle had fallen silent as most of the other residents had decided on the same thing. As he entered his room he stopped short at the sight of something sitting on the end of his bed. Moving closer, he found he couldn’t stop a smile from tugging at his lips as he worked out what it was. A harlequin mask, crisscrossed in diamonds of dark blue and black with glitter-gold edgings stared up at him, a midnight blue silk hand
kerchief folded neatly beside it. A note rested on top of the handkerchief and when he unfolded it, it simply said ‘From your Columbine xxx’
Feeling a lot cheerier, he set the little gift to one side and headed for the shower. No, things were far from perfect between him and Jess, but they had love and they had hope, which was a hell of a lot more than most had.
Dressed in his tuxedo, mask in place and the new handkerchief spilling from his pocket, Tristan worked his way around the room to where his brother stood in a mask the same style as his, only pure black apart from a red glitter heart encircling one of the eye slits.
‘Nice mask,’ Tristan grinned as he offered Arthur one of the two champagne flutes he was holding. ‘Who are you supposed to be?’
‘The King of bloody Hearts,’ Arthur grumbled, taking the glass and swigging a mouthful. ‘I blame that girlfriend of yours for coming up with the stupid idea in the first place. Why can’t we have a normal party?’
‘Because that wouldn’t be as much fun.’ Tristan gestured with his glass across the room at the array of glitter, feathers and beads adorning all the faces. ‘And, besides, Jess is not my girlfriend.’ Not officially, anyway, until she chose to make it public.
‘Well, that’s not what Lucie reckons.’ Nudging his arm, Arthur pointed across the room. ‘And if she’s not your girlfriend, why did she make you matching masks, eh?’ Clinking his glass against Tristan’s he added. ‘I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into because that looks to me like a family waiting for you to fill the missing gap.’
Tristan barely noticed his brother walking away, his gaze transfixed across the room. Beside the shining Christmas tree, stood Jess, bracketed by two little figures dressed in black shirts and trousers, their masks miniature versions of his own. The one fixed over Jess’s eyes was a more elaborate version, with blue and gold feathers rising from the centre of the eyepiece to form a delicate crown. Her gorgeous curves were draped in midnight blue velvet, just as they had been all those years ago when she’d stolen his breath and his heart. This version was a more grown-up take on the original, the waist tighter, the bodice cut lower in a stunning v which revealed enough of her creamy skin to make his mouth water.
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