by Linda West
I looked up at Devlin.
"If your dad already signed the company over to you before the ball…" I shook my head, trying to understand. I was so confused.
"You didn't have to act like we were in love… why did you dance with me like that and kiss me– like that?"
He looked me in the eye.
"Because I wanted to."
I blushed. Was he messing with me? Trying to get me to break down and throw myself into his arms and kiss those luscious lips again and melt into utopia…
He caught me up in his arms and pulled me close. "Because you're adorable and delightful, and a pain in the butt, and you've changed me."
He pulled me into his arms, and I fell into his spell against my will. I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight and felt every bit of his muscled body pressing against me. His insistent lips kissed me deeply, and I returned his passion.
There was a loud rapping on the door, and we both turned startled by broken silence and our tender moment being burst. I had to catch my knees from buckling.
Sofia's shrill voice cut through the heavy door. "Devlin? We need to talk right now. You get that chauffeurs daughter out of here, and you stop playing games."
Devlin looked at me.
"I better go deal with this and other problems I left at the Ball. "
I nodded. He grabbed my hand again.
"We'll talk later."
And with that, he walked out the door.
Chapter 44
The rooster was crowing when I let myself out of the bedroom in the early light of Christmas morning. Devlin had come in sometime in the late hours and was fast asleep, luckily. I didn't think I could face him again. I shut the door quietly and snuck one last lingering look at his slumbering figure.
I had changed into my own clothes and tied my hair up in a ponytail. I was sporting my Hug a Tree shirt and some jeans, and I almost felt like myself again. I left behind all the clothes Devlin had bought me, as well as the beautiful ball gown with a thank you note for the Landers.
I regretted I wouldn't have time to see Carol and Ethel and wish them a merry Christmas, but I knew it was better this way. I had grown way too attached to the adorable senior bakers for my own good. This was all just acting and the play was over.
Jeeves was kind enough to drive me down the mountain and I blinked away tears randomly swiping at my face with my glove. Jeeves cast sidelong sad glances at me and patted my arm every few minutes. He put on some Christmas music but it sounded odd against the sadness that hung in the air.
He dropped me off at the car rental place, and I hugged him tightly. He patted my back affectionately. "We're all going to miss you, Allie. Please come back."
I wiped back a tear and hugged him one more time before I got out of the car with my backpack. Didn't he realize I was never coming back? The game was over. The deal done. It was time to step out of this bizarre fantasy and go back to my real life.
Jeeves waved goodbye and blew a kiss as he pulled away. I watched him climb the steep incline back up the mountain with a heavy heart. I would miss him.
I looked at the Rolls and hesitated.
I had the key, so there was nothing stopping me now.
I took a deep breath and looked around the town of Kissing Bridge once more, imprinting it upon my memory of things I would love forever, and then I climbed in and drove away.
Chapter 45
I let myself cry. Why not? I felt as if I had fallen off a cloud of my own making. I wanted to see the Landers and have them pat me on the back and tell me to take some baked goods and everything would be fine. I wanted my father to hug me and say I had done the right thing. I had saved our home. I wanted Devlin to...
Horns began blaring, and I looked in my back mirror. Devlin was behind me in the black jeep. I bit my lip. He pulled up next to me and motioned me over to the side.
I took a deep breath and pulled over. He jumped out of the jeep and was by my side in a moment. I got out of the limo and closed the door. We were the only ones on the road, and the flurries had picked up again. Little snowflakes danced around Devlin's gorgeous face, and it took everything in me to look away.
"Where are you going?" He took in my clothes and hair.
"Home. I told you. The deal is over. I'm sure Sofia would rather I not be at Christmas with the family, anyway."
He let his breath out hard.
"Balderdash. I could care less about Sofia–or any of those girls." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "I hate the idea of not spending Christmas with you."
I shook my head. "You do? Why?"
He wrapped his arms around me. "Because you're a breath of fresh air, Allie, and I've gotten used to you insulting me."
I laughed, but it hurt inside. "I need to go home…see my dad." I couldn't meet his eyes.
He tipped my chin up to gaze at me. "If you must go home to see your father, I won't stand in your way, but you have to open up your Christmas gift at least." He reached into his pocket and withdrew an envelope and handed it to me.
I opened the envelope; it was full of legal papers I couldn't make out. I stuffed them back in the container.
"What is this?"
"It's a deed to a penthouse apartment on 5th Avenue."
"Excuse me?"
"A home–for you. You wanted that more than anything." He smiled from ear to ear.
"I have a home, Devlin. I told you that's what the money was for."
He grabbed hold of me and pulled me into him and kissed me deep and hard.
"But not a home in the city–and not near me."
His gray eyes danced.
"I'm confused."
He smiled and grabbed my hands.
"I want to continue to see you, silly."
I stiffened and pulled back. "So, it's another offer?"
He searched my eyes.
"No, Allie. I guess it's the first step. I just want to be closer to you. That's all I know. We're both horrible at love. But we're perfect for each other. A mortgage is almost a commitment." He laughed that deep, sexy sound, and I would have melted any other time. I was crazy about him despite all my attempts to deny it, but not this time.
"I want to keep seeing you, Allie."
I shook my head. "You care about me. I know you do. I'll surround you with jewels and cars and flowers and let you protest in front of my building without arresting you…"
I pushed him away from me.
"Are you nuts? Stop fooling yourself. You’re Devlin Somerset, darn bachelor of the year! It's a glorious, beautiful thing that your father has accepted you for who you are…" I shook my head.
"But I can't lie to myself, Devlin! You are the worst thing that could happen to me. I'm not going to fall in love with you. Let you break my life apart someday when you move on. You're commitment-phobic, and I…I want the real thing." I was surprised at my own truth.
He tried to kiss away my excuses, and I struggled not to give in. I couldn't stop the tears now as my authentic, true self had finally won out.
He wiped them away gently. "I've changed since I met you, Allie."
I gurgled a half-laugh cry out." I don't want you to change, nor do I think you really can, Devlin." I looked at him in those beautiful eyes. "I care about you–I do. But I want the real thing. I was lying to everyone the last four days, but mostly I lied to myself. I don't want to go through life without having real love. I know now more than ever that I want my own family to make Christmas traditions with—and to insult over breakfast."
He laughed stiffly, but I could see sadness creeping into his eyes, and his smile seemed forced.
I took his hands and made him meet my gaze. "I don't want to have any regrets."
I touched his cheek. He looked at me sadly. "Thank you, Devlin. Without you, I might have lied to myself and kept myself from being truly happy.”
"Allie…" It came out like a groan. My heart melted.
There were tears in his eyes. "I'll give you the worl
d. Just tell me what can I do?"
He looked so sad; I almost threw myself into his arms and changed my mind. Lied to myself.
He rushed on pleading. "Take the penthouse, it's worth a few million dollars. Cash it in if you want, travel the world, or new clothes."
I shook my head and looked down at myself in my Hug a Tree shirt. Devlin would never understand me, nor what truly mattered in my world. The important thing was that now I did.
"Donate it to the Amazon, Devlin," I said, and I reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
I got in the limo and sped away as fast as I could before I lost my resolve.
Chapter 46
Three months later
It was spring, and the roses were starting to bloom outside, but the flowers in the yard didn't bring me the joy they had in the past. Random things and memories jumped up and reminded me of Devlin like a ghost. Which, in essence, he was.
Dead to me.
Living in another world.
For the last three months, I had fought a war in my head over my feelings for Devlin. Sometimes it was easier to lie to myself and believe he loved me and that he would suddenly magically change because of our special bond. But I knew life didn't work like that.
Movies and books worked like that.
Real-life gave you lemons, not fairytales.
There was a time when I might have given into Devlin's calls and flowers and cute texts, but not this time. If I let Devlin in, and he acted just as I expected Devlin Somerset would, – it would kill me. Worst of all it would be all my fault.
In the past, I had been side-swiped by the breakup train because I never saw it coming. Now I knew better. I knew certain guys rode that train, but that if I chose a healthy guy, then real love was possible. I wasn't lying to myself anymore. No more fostering commitment-phobic men until they left. I wanted to find my forever love.
Today I was the lead speaker downtown at a rally to support the boycott of palm oil. Palm oil products are just stupid. The toxic oil is poisonous for people and the planet. Sadly, half the loss of the Amazon rainforest is due to palm oil companies buying it up and burning it down to clear it for their palm oil plants. Needless to say, I was passionate about it, and I also truly needed a cause to fill the void that seemed to be where my heart used to live.
I stuffed my backpack with my Save the Rainforest bumper stickers and looked around the house. I had everything I needed. I had kept myself as busy as possible, and today was no different. Dad was in the living room, reading the paper when he called to me in an excited voice.
"Allie, you should see this. Somerset Industries has introduced a whole new green agenda for their products." He held up the paper and showed me a picture of Devlin shaking hands with some men in suits.
I caught my breath at seeing his familiar face. Memories of me tangled in his arms, hearts beating together, more alive than ever after our horrific brush with death.
I headed for the door. "See you later, Dad."
Six months later ...
Summer on the Jersey Shore is a wondrous thing. The glorious sun warms the skin and lightens the sorrows. My friends had planned a beach day, and I was tempted to go, but I had a park to protect.
Between finishing grad school and getting our finances back in order, I had kept myself busy enough to avoid my thoughts. But now that I had graduated, I had too much time on my hands. I had begun doubling down on my charity and activist activity while I looked for a job. I didn't need to be lounging around the beach and letting my thoughts wander.
Devlin had finally stopped trying to contact me and I was happy about it.
At least that's the lie I told myself.
I still cried randomly when things reminded me of Devlin, but I was getting over him, really.
I knew I had to cut it off completely. If I let him in a little bit, then I would not be able to remain strong. It hurt badly now, but it would get better someday and I would still have my heart intact.
I took a deep sigh and put my hand to my heart. Who was I kidding?
I came into the kitchen, and Dad was on his iPad. I was dressed in a beautiful blue suit, and Dad whistled.
"I would give you anything you wanted in that outfit." He beamed.
I smiled. "Thanks, Dad. Let's hope the planning committee agrees with you. If all goes well they'll agree that we need more trees planted in that cement block they call a park."
I kissed him on the cheek, and he pointed at the iPad. "Allie, you have to see this. Somerset Industries made a big announcement. They are making all their boxes and envelope products out of hemp."
I raised my eyebrows and leaned over his shoulder. It had pictures of some world business conference. Devlin was smiling and shaking hands with some other man in a suit outside of Somerset Industries. A beautiful blonde woman was clutching his arm.
I pulled back like I had been stabbed, and Dad looked up at me with a pained expression.
"Sorry, honey, I…"
I patted him on the back. "It's okay, Dad."
I gathered my things and rushed out the door, pushing my feelings down as usual.
Nine months later . . .
Dad came in from work wearing his chauffeur's uniform and whistled when he saw me. I was dressed up, for me.
I wore a form-flattering red dress and some makeup. I had stripped my hair back to its natural color and even bothered to curl it.
"Honey, you look beautiful." He glowed. "You remind me of your mother."
"Thanks, Dad.” I stopped in the hall mirror and applied some lipstick. “I have another date with Todd. He's a really nice guy.” I smiled weakly.
Dad cleared his throat.
"I had an interesting passenger today…" He began tentatively.
I knew where this was going.
"Dad, I don't want to hear about Devlin– please." I held my hand up.
"He brought me these." Dad held up some scratch-offs and smiled broadly.
I shook my head. Scratch-offs, good try Devlin.
"Maybe you should just take his call, honey?" Dad urged. "He's different since he took over the business. He seems more grown up and ready to settle down.”
Hump! I chortled back a laugh.
“So that's why he had some blonde on his arm in that photo? Devlin Somerset has no heart, he just moves on and grabs another girlfriend just like the playboy he is.”
“Nothing like you with Todd.”
I looked up quickly. “Exactly.”
I slipped on a sweater and grabbed my purse. "I'm looking for the real deal, Dad. I want to be married and have a family and be madly in love - like you and mom.”
Dad made a tightly closed smile. “And you deserve that sweetheart. I want the same thing for you. I'm just saying maybe you should give him a chance. People can change, Allie."
I kissed my dad on the cheek and rushed out the door. Dad didn't know Devlin like I did. Devlin Somerset would never change.
Chapter 47
Christmas morning
Dad was planted in front of the TV, and I was in charge of Christmas breakfast. It was just the two of us, so we had decided to be complete bums and stay in our pajamas all day.
I was making eggs Benedict with a twist. Instead of the usual hollandaise sauce, I was making the Wellington sauce I had learned from Chef Pierre. It featured tarragon, and it was an unusual combination with the vegetarian version of Benedict I was making—avocado instead of the ham.
Dad was in his Game of Thrones pajamas with his feet up, drinking some hot chocolate in the living room and rubbing off the scratch-offs I had put in his stocking.
"Hey, honey," he called to me." Come see! They're showing pictures of that Mistletoe Ball! Didn't you get to go last year? You should see all the people dressed up."
I reluctantly went into the living room and glanced at the TV. My heart thumped as I recognized Jeeves and Devlin, of course.
The ball looked as magical as ever.
I returned to my sauce and
focused on whisking the eggs so they didn't break. That was the tricky part.
Suddenly, there was a brash pounding at the door.
I backed up, afraid, and peeked through the keyhole, but there was a finger over it. What the heck? We weren't expecting anyone.
I opened the door, and there stood Devlin on a white horse. Next to him were Carol Landers and her husband, Dr. Archibald, Mr. Somerset, Pierre, and Jeeves, too!
I brought my hand to my heart, and instinctively felt for my hair. It was in a tangled bun, and I was still in my pajamas. Figures.
"What's going on!" I coughed out in surprise as I looked at the group assembled on my porch.
Dad called from the living room. "Allie, you better get in here quick!" I looked at the crew at my door and the horse, then back at my dad.
"Ah, Dad, we've got some visitors…" I looked over my shoulder. "And some guy at the door on a horse!" I said with a frown in Devlin's direction. How dare he fairytale me on Christmas morning? What a low blow.
Dad was yelling for me like he won the lottery as he came in. "You have to see this right away…" He stopped in his tracks when he saw the crew at the door.
"Merry Christmas, Charles," Mr. Somerset said happily.
"Merry Christmas, Harold." Dad's eyebrows rose as he took in the strange group at the door.
"Dad, this is Carol Landers and her husband, the doctor. And this is Pierre the Chef and Jeeves, of course…" He smiled at me.
Dad waved them inside, to my horror.
"Well, come in! Come in. Merry Christmas to you all." He ushered them forward with a giant grin. "You'll want to see this, I'm sure."
Mr. Somerset approached me, and I smiled. He reached out his arms and hugged me. I held on tight and was relieved that he seemed to have forgiven me. He pulled back and looked at me.
