by Gwyn McNamee
She lays her hand on top of the douchebags and pats it. “I’m fine, Jamie. Really. It’s okay.”
Jamie? The owner?
I refocus on him and, sure enough, the familiar face from that fateful morning stares back at me. He eyes me again before nodding and disappearing behind the counter.
“Are you with him?” It’s the same question I asked her that day. And I’m praying it’s the same answer.
“What?” Her head jerks up, and those wide eyes meet mine. “No, of course not. I told you, he’s just an old friend.”
The relief that floods my system almost buckles my knees.
Thank fuck.
“Then what were you talking about? Who do you think told me what?”
A deep sigh slips from her lips, and she closes her eyes. She opens them again, flattens her palms against the table, and pushes her chair back.
Any semblance of control and restraint I’ve maintained since walking in here disappears the moment I see the slight swell of her belly.
“Jesus, you’re pregnant?”
This isn’t the way I’d imagined him finding out. I thought I had made it pretty clear to everyone that they weren’t to tell him anything about my pregnancy. At first, it was for selfish reasons, because I was so dang mad at him…for everything. But then, once I realized how dumb I was being, my primary concern was not interrupting Stone’s treatment. He didn’t need the extra stress of finding out he was going to be a dad.
I thought I had another week or two before I’d have to finally come clean. He was supposed to be in rehab until the end of the month. Him being here has blindsided me. It’s something he’s apparently an expert at.
I’ve spent these early months of my pregnancy with the Hawke family bringing me into their fold in a way I never could have anticipated. With everything that happened, all that we all lost, they didn’t even question my place as one of them when I told them another little Hawke was coming.
My hands automatically drift down over my stomach and rest there. “Yes.”
His wide eyes move up my body until they meet mine. “Is it mine?”
I scoff and nod. “Of course it is. I didn’t want anyone to tell you because you needed to focus on yourself.”
“I…I…shit…” He runs his hands back through his thick hair and shakes his head. “I swear I didn’t know. I haven’t spoken to anyone about anything since I left, other than telling Skye where I was heading.”
Apparently not.
He stares at my stomach with a fascination I haven’t seen there before. “How…when?
“Given my due date, I’m guessing it was our first night together, in the shower.”
I see him running it over in his head. It was the only time we ever had sex without protection, and given how wrapped up we were in each other, I don’t think either of us even thought about it. Pretty stupid, actually. I was on the pill, but I guess he has super sperm. It doesn’t surprise me really. Everything about Stone is above and beyond the expected.
When he appeared beside me and said all those things…told me he loves me…I thought for sure he was doing it because he felt obligated when he found out I’m pregnant. Now, I’m just confused.
“If not because of the baby, then why are you here?”
He closes the distance between us and captures my face in his hands in a split-second. “Because every damn word I just said is true. I love you, Nora, and I need you in my life. I’ve been trying to get myself in the right frame of mind to come back to you. I had no idea if you would even talk to me after what happened, what I did—”
I know where he’s going with this. It’s the same conversation I’ve played over and over in my head a thousand ways since I learned what happened. And I can’t lie. At first, the thought of ever speaking to Stone again, of being able to look him in eye after finding out he’s the reason my father was ripped from my life, was unfathomable.
Dani and I were reeling. And going to tell Mom felt like we were going to rip her heart out all over again. But she was the one who ultimately put it all into perspective, at least for me, after weeks of talking through it.
“You were a child, Stone. You didn’t set out to kill anyone. You were doing what you thought was right to protect someone who was basically your father. I understand that now. It’s time you do, too.”
His forehead presses against mine, and his warm breath flutters over my lips. “I don’t know how to do that…forget the guilt. Not just about your father, but about what I did to you.”
Crap. This is…hard.
I should have prepared myself better for this conversation. It’s not that I haven’t gone over it a hundred times in my head, I just never knew what my response would be. Early on, it would have been cupcake again. It was the single hardest word I’ve ever spoken. But it was also right at the time. I never could have handled him touching me, him talking to me and trying to explain and apologize again and again…not back then.
Now, it’s a different story.
“I forgive you, Stone.”
Warm tears splash against my hands where they clutch the front of his shirt. They aren’t just mine.
His emotion-choked voice fills the space between us. “Give us a chance. Please. I’ve always been hungry, Nora. For something—attention, power, money, love…I just never realized I’d been fucking starving until I tasted you.”
My heart is screaming for me to say yes. But I don’t know if I can. That dang logic keeps creeping in, telling me I’m only going to set myself up for disappointment if I let him back in. Stone is imperfect, as we all are. And he will make more mistakes, ones that will no doubt hurt me, even inadvertently. At the same time, he is the father of this baby, and I can’t keep him from being a father, I would never do that, even after everything that happened. Even if we can’t be together.
“You want to be involved with the baby?”
His head flies back, and he narrows his eyes on me. “What? Of course. It’s my child, why wouldn’t I want to be involved?”
I shake my head and try to pull back from him, but his hands on my face hold me in place. “My stripping days are done, Stone. I re-enrolled in school before I found out I was pregnant. I’m swamped with work and dealing with morning sickness, which is more like all day sickness, really. I’m not really sure how I’ll be able to juggle things once the baby arrives.”
I’m terrified of spiraling down the same hole to keep up. Those words aren’t spoken, but I know Stone will understand exactly what I’m saying even without them.
“Christ, Nora. I am so damn proud of you. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of you and the baby. You follow your dreams. Let me carry the load.”
The weight of the last several months of worry and despair lifts from my shoulders, and I bury my face in his chest. That familiar spicy scent envelops me as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. Despite all of Stone’s flaws, this is it. This is where I’m meant to be. His arms offer safety. They offer love. They offer something I’ve never found anywhere else on this planet. Complete and total acceptance.
We stand like this long enough that I can feel eyes on us. He pulls back slightly and tips my chin up. Tears blur my vision, but the love in his watery eyes is clear. He meant what he said, all of it. And I believe him.
Stone will never let me down or let anything hurt me or this baby.
I love him.
He leans in and presses his mouth to mine. The familiar taste and heat has me sagging against him. His tongue swipes over my lips, and I open for him, tangling my tongue with his and pouring everything I can’t say into the kiss.
When we finally come up for air, he grins at me. I grasp his hand and place it over my belly. “Your son.”
His eyebrows raise, and a grin spreads across his face. “It’s a boy?”
I nod and reach up to swipe away the tears trickling down his cheeks.
Seeing Stone Hawke cry destroys any remaining barrier I had erected ar
ound my heart.
He flexes his hand over my stomach and brushes his lips over mine again. “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me. I thought there was maybe a one percent chance you might consider giving me another shot. I never imagined you would say yes, and be offering me a real family.”
My heart breaks at his words. “You already have a real family, Stone.”
It’s clear he wants to interrupt me to argue, but I press a finger over his lips to stop him.
“Everyone loves you. Dani struggled with what happened with our father for a while. Truthfully, she still does. I did too, but, it was easier for me. I barely knew him or remember him, I guess that’s why. But she eventually realized the same thing I did. The actions of a child do not make the man. Do you remember when you told me that one action does not dictate or define who you are? You need to heed your own advice. You are a good man, Stone, whether you want to believe it or not. And I’ll keep telling you that until the day I die.”
That sly, devious grin that promises a hundred dirty, sensual things spreads across his face. “I’m good, huh?”
The flash in his eyes makes my core throb. Every single nasty thing he’s ever done to me, or promised to do, races through my head.
Oh God…I’m in so much trouble.
He leans in, nuzzling the sensitive spot right behind my ear. “What if I want to be bad?”
I laugh, the first real laugh in what feels like forever, and slide my hands down over his ass. “That would most definitely be acceptable, too.”
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
For anyone interested in learning more about Dear Mistress and the BDSM lifestyle, please check out her blog on the Shameless Book Club’s website, here:
http://shamelessbookclub.com/category/columnists/dear-mistress/
A special thank you to Christine and Angie from Shameless Book Club for allowing me to use Dear Mistress in Stone Sober, and for always providing amazing book recommendations and advice!
Other Works by Gwyn McNamee
Savage Collision (The Hawke Family - Book One)
The last thing I expect when I walk into The Hawkeye Club is to fall head over heels in lust. It’s supposed to be a rescue mission. I have to get my baby sister off the pole, into some clothes, and out of the grasp of the pussy peddler who somehow manipulated her into stripping. But the moment I see Savage Hawke and verbally spar with him, my ability to remain rational flies out the window and my libido takes center stage. I’ve never wanted a relationship—my time is better spent focusing on taking down the scum running this city—but what I want and what I need are apparently two different things.
Danika Eriksson storms into my office in her high heels and on her high horse. Her holier-than-thou attitude and accusations should offend me, but instead, I can’t get her out of my head or my heart. Her incomparable drive, take-no-prisoners attitude, and blatant honesty captivate me and hold me prisoner. I should steer clear, but my self-preservation instinct is apparently dead—which is exactly what our relationship will be once she knows everything. It’s only a matter of time.
The truth doesn’t always set you free. Sometimes, it just royally screws you.
AVAILABLE NOW
AMAZON: http://smarturl.it/savagecollisionAMZN
ALL OTHER RETAILERS:
https://www.books2read.com/u/mYR1gY
Tortured Skye (The Hawke Family - Book Two)
Falling in love with Gabe Anderson was as easy as breathing. Fighting my feelings for my brother’s best friend was agonizingly hard. I never imagined giving in to my desire for him would cause such a destructive ripple effect. That kiss was my grasp at a lifeline—something, anything to hold me steady in my crumbling life. Now, I have to suffer with the fallout while trying to convince him it’s all worth the consequences.
Guilt overwhelms me—over what I’ve done, the lives I’ve taken, and more than anything, over my feelings for Skye Hawke. Craving my best friend’s little sister is insanely self-destructive. It never should have happened, but since the moment she kissed me, I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. If I take what I want, I risk losing everything. If I don’t, I’ll lose her and a piece of myself. The raging storm threatening to rain down on the city is nothing compared to the one that will come from my decision.
Love can be torture, but sometimes, love is the only thing that can save you.
AVAILABLE NOW
AMAZON: http://smarturl.it/torturedskyeAMZ
ALL OTHER RETILERS: https://www.books2read.com/u/mdK2RX
Stone Sober (The Hawke Family - Book Three)
Stone Hawke is precisely the kind of man women are warned about—handsome, intelligent, arrogant, and intricately entangled with some dangerous people. I should stay away, but he manages to strip my soul bare with just a look and dominates my thoughts. Bad decisions are in my past. My life is (mostly) on track, even if it is no longer the one to medical school. I can’t allow myself to cave to the fierce pull and ardent attraction I feel toward the youngest Hawke.
Nora Eriksson is off-limits, and not just because she’s my brother’s employee and sister-in-law. Despite the fact she’s stripping at The Hawkeye Club, she has an innocent and pure heart. Normally, the only thing that appeals to me about innocence is the opportunity to taint it. But not when it comes to Nora. I can’t expose her to the filth permeating my life. There are too many things I can’t control, things completely out of my hands. She doesn’t deserve any of it, but the power she holds over me is stronger than any addiction.
The hardest battles we fight are often with ourselves, but only through defeating our own demons can we find true peace.
AVAILABLE NOW
AMAZON: http://amzn.to/2yxgxdt
ALL OTHER RETAILERS: https://www.books2read.com/u/b6rMGJ
Building Storm (The Hawke Family - Book Four)
COMING 2018
THE 7 SERIES
7 SINS, 7 AUTHORS, 7 NOVELLAS
Seven authors have teamed up to tackle the 7 Deadly Sins. Check out the prologue to Gwyn McNamee’s WRATH, and then grab all seven novellas.
WRATH
When love is ripped away, wrath invades my soul, blinding my vision and feeding my bloodlust-it feels like coming home.
WRATH
Prologue
The thing about having blood on my hands is, I don’t want to wash it off.
Isn’t that what you’re supposed to want to do?
Yet, standing here, over the shredded, unrecognizable body of Tarek, my hands dripping with his blood, there is no regret. No remorse. No nagging conscience screaming at me. Nothing but the overwhelming sense of relief floods my body.
But it doesn’t last. It can’t.
Yelling and the pop of gunshots break my reverie and remind me where I am and why.
This isn’t over.
Not by a longshot.
PRIDE: Scott Hildreth
GREED: Geri Glenn
SLOTH: Max Henry
WRATH: Gwyn McNamee
ENVY: Kerri Ann
LUST: FG Adams
GLUTTONY: M.C. Webb
Gwyn McNamee Writing As D.P. Payne
The Supernatural Love Stories in the Absurd Series
AVAILABLE NOW
AMAZON: http://amzn.to/2wlofkt
ALL OTHER RETAILERS: https://www.books2read.com/u/3J0VPA
A wendigo. An ancient cursed pharaoh. A haunted brothel.
There's something for every paranormal romance lover in each of the first three books in the Supernatural Love Stories in the Absurd series.
If you want to laugh, cry, and need to change your panties, check out these unique paranormal love stories.
Parched (Book 1)
After wandering the Earth for over 4,000 years, I, Waylon Blackman, thought I had seen it all…then a black aura crossed my path. As a wendigo, my life has been about nothing but greed and living with my curse, but the mysterious aura and the woman it belongs to send my world into a tailspin from the first sec
ond we meet. She gets under my skin and hypnotizes me with her sexy, adventurous, willing, and kinky nature, so much so, I almost let myself forget I know nothing about her. Thinking with the wrong head can certainly get a man in trouble, but for me, it could mean an end worse than my curse.
Cursed (Book 2)
When I stepped into the dank depths of the Egyptian ruins, I didn’t expect to find something I’d been searching for my entire adult life—the tomb of the mysterious pharaoh, Nebtawyre Mentuhotep IV. And, I certainly didn’t expect the sexy pharaoh to step out of his sarcophagus very much alive. Lust soon overpowers reason as I fall down the rabbit hole with Wyre. He claims me completely—my mind, body, and soul. We only have three days to break a 4,000 year-old curse placed on him by his crazy ex. If we don’t, he’ll return to his tomb and take my heart with him.
Spirited (Book 3)
Buying and renovating the old plantation house seems like a great idea. The fact that it’s supposedly haunted by the ghost of a murdered prostitute is a minor oversight. I don’t believe in that crap anyway. But after a late night rendezvous with a sexy spirit elicits a very real nocturnal emission from me, I have to rethink my belief in poltergeists…and love. The intoxicating woman who has been trapped here for over a century casts a spell over me with her humor, courage, and sexual talents. I know I have to do something to free her from her ethereal prison. But will my actions break the metaphysical chains holding her here, or will they release something darker into my new home?
Gwyn McNamee is an attorney, writer, wife, and mother (to one human baby and two fur babies). Originally from the Midwest, Gwyn relocated to her husband’s home town of Las Vegas in 2015 and is enjoying her respite from the cold and snow. Gwyn has been writing down her crazy stories and ideas for years and finally decided to share them with the world. She loves to write stories with a bit of suspense and action mingled with romance and heat.
