CHAPTER V
BUT what became of little Tom?
He slipped away off the rocks into the water, as I said before. But hecould not help thinking of little Ellie. He did not remember who shewas; but he knew that she was a little girl, though she was a hundredtimes as big as he. That is not surprising: size has nothing to do withkindred. A tiny weed may be first cousin to a great tree; and a littledog like Vick knows that Lioness is a dog too, though she is twentytimes larger than herself. So Tom knew that Ellie was a little girl, andthought about her all that day, and longed to have had her to play with;but he had very soon to think of something else. And here is the accountof what happened to him, as it was published next morning in theWaterproof Gazette, on the finest watered paper, for the use of thegreat fairy, Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid, who reads the news very carefullyevery morning, and especially the police cases, as you will hear verysoon.
He was going along the rocks in three-fathom water, watching the pollockcatch prawns, and the wrasses nibble barnacles off the rocks, shells andall, when he saw a round cage of green withes; and inside it, lookingvery much ashamed of himself, sat his friend the lobster, twiddling hishorns, instead of thumbs.
"What, have you been naughty, and have they put you in the lock-up?"asked Tom.
The lobster felt a little indignant at such a notion, but he was toomuch depressed in spirits to argue; so he only said, "I can't get out."
"Why did you get in?"
"After that nasty piece of dead fish." He had thought it looked andsmelt very nice when he was outside, and so it did, for a lobster: butnow he turned round and abused it because he was angry with himself.
"Where did you get in?"
"Through that round hole at the top."
"Then why don't you get out through it?"
"Because I can't": and the lobster twiddled his horns more fiercely thanever, but he was forced to confess.
"I have jumped upwards, downwards, backwards, and sideways, at leastfour thousand times; and I can't get out: I always get up underneaththere, and can't find the hole."
Tom looked at the trap, and having more wit than the lobster, he sawplainly enough what was the matter; as you may if you will look at alobster-pot.
"Stop a bit," said Tom. "Turn your tail up to me, and I'll pull youthrough hindforemost, and then you won't stick in the spikes."
But the lobster was so stupid and clumsy that he couldn't hit the hole.Like a great many fox-hunters, he was very sharp as long as he was inhis own country; but as soon as they get out of it they lose theirheads; and so the lobster, so to speak, lost his tail.
Tom reached and clawed down the hole after him, till he caught hold ofhim; and then, as was to be expected, the clumsy lobster pulled him inhead foremost.
"Hullo! here is a pretty business," said Tom. "Now take your greatclaws, and break the points off those spikes, and then we shall both getout easily."
"Dear me, I never thought of that," said the lobster; "and after all theexperience of life that I have had!"
You see, experience is of very little good unless a man, or a lobster,has wit enough to make use of it. For a good many people, like oldPolonius, have seen all the world, and yet remain little better thanchildren after all.
But they had not got half the spikes away when they saw a great darkcloud over them: and lo, and behold, it was the otter.
How she did grin and grin when she saw Tom. "Yar!" said she, "you littlemeddlesome wretch, I have you now! I will serve you out for telling thesalmon where I was!" And she crawled all over the pot to get in.
Tom was horribly frightened, and still more frightened when she foundthe hole in the top, and squeezed herself right down through it, alleyes and teeth. But no sooner was her head inside than valiant Mr.Lobster caught her by the nose and held on.
And there they were all three in the pot, rolling over and over, andvery tight packing it was. And the lobster tore at the otter, and theotter tore at the lobster, and both squeezed and thumped poor Tom tillhe had no breath left in his body; and I don't know what would havehappened to him if he had not at last got on the otter's back, and safeout of the hole.
He was right glad when he got out: but he would not desert his friendwho had saved him; and the first time he saw his tail uppermost hecaught hold of it, and pulled with all his might.
But the lobster would not let go.
"Come along," said Tom; "don't you see she is dead?" And so she was,quite drowned and dead.
And that was the end of the wicked otter.
But the lobster would not let go.
"Come along, you stupid old stick-in-the-mud," cried Tom, "or thefisherman will catch you!" And that was true, for Tom felt some oneabove beginning to haul up the pot.
But the lobster would not let go.
Tom saw the fisherman haul him up to the boat-side, and thought it wasall up with him. But when Mr. Lobster saw the fisherman, he gave such afurious and tremendous snap, that he snapped out of his hand, and out ofthe pot, and safe into the sea. But he left his knobbed claw behindhim; for it never came into his stupid head to let go after all, so hejust shook his claw off as the easier method. It was something of abull, that; but you must know the lobster was an Irish lobster, and washatched off Island Magee at the mouth of Belfast Lough.
Tom asked the lobster why he never thought of letting go. He said verydeterminedly that it was a point of honour among lobsters. And so it is,as the Mayor of Plymouth found out once to his cost--eight or ninehundred years ago, of course; for if it had happened lately it would bepersonal to mention it.
For one day he was so tired with sitting on a hard chair, in a grandfurred gown, with a gold chain round his neck, hearing one policemanafter another come in and sing, "What shall we do with the drunkensailor, so early in the morning?" and answering them each exactly alike:
"Put him in the round house till he gets sober, so early in themorning"--
That, when it was over, he jumped up, and played leap-frog with thetown-clerk till he burst his buttons, and then had his luncheon, andburst some more buttons, and then said: "It is a low spring-tide; Ishall go out this afternoon and cut my capers."
Now he did not mean to cut such capers as you eat with boiled mutton. Itwas the commandant of artillery at Valetta who used to amuse himselfwith cutting them, and who stuck upon one of the bastions a notice, "Noone allowed to cut capers here but me," which greatly edified themidshipmen in port, and the Maltese on the Nix Mangiare stairs. But allthat the mayor meant was that he would go and have an afternoon's fun,like any schoolboy, and catch lobsters with an iron hook.
So to the Mewstone he went, and for lobsters he looked. And when he cameto a certain crack in the rocks he was so excited that, instead ofputting in his hook, he put in his hand; and Mr. Lobster was at home,and caught him by the finger, and held on.
"Yah!" said the mayor, and pulled as hard as he dared: but the more hepulled, the more the lobster pinched, till he was forced to be quiet.
Then he tried to get his hook in with his other hand; but the hole wastoo narrow.
Then he pulled again; but he could not stand the pain.
Then he shouted and bawled for help: but there was no one nearer himthan the men-of-war inside the breakwater.
Then he began to turn a little pale; for the tide flowed, and still thelobster held on.
Then he turned quite white; for the tide was up to his knees, and stillthe lobster held on.
Then he thought of cutting off his finger; but he wanted two things todo it with--courage and a knife; and he had got neither.
Then he turned quite yellow; for the tide was up to his waist, and stillthe lobster held on.
Then he thought over all the naughty things he ever had done; all thesand which he had put in the sugar, and the sloe-leaves in the tea, andthe water in the treacle, and the salt in the tobacco (because hisbrother was a brewer, and a man must help his own kin).
Then he turned quite blue; for the tide was up to his breast, and stillthe
lobster held on.
Then, I have no doubt, he repented fully of all the said naughty thingswhich he had done, and promised to mend his life, as too many do whenthey think they have no life left to mend. Whereby, as they fancy, theymake a very cheap bargain. But the old fairy with the birch rod soonundeceives them.
And then he grew all colours at once, and turned up his eyes like a duckin thunder; for the water was up to his chin, and still the lobster heldon.
And then came a man-of-war's boat round the Mewstone, and saw his headsticking up out of the water. One said it was a keg of brandy, andanother that it was a cocoa-nut, and another that it was a buoy loose,and another that it was a black diver, and wanted to fire at it, whichwould not have been pleasant for the mayor: but just then such a yellcame out of a great hole in the middle of it that the midshipman incharge guessed what it was, and bade pull up to it as fast as theycould. So somehow or other the Jack-tars got the lobster out, and setthe mayor free, and put him ashore at the Barbican. He never wentlobster-catching again; and we will hope he put no more salt in thetobacco, not even to sell his brother's beer.
"A real live water-baby sitting on the white sand."--_P.146_.]
And that is the story of the Mayor of Plymouth, which has twoadvantages--first, that of being quite true; and second, that of having(as folks say all good stories ought to have) no moral whatsoever: nomore, indeed, has any part of this book, because it is a fairy tale, youknow.
And now happened to Tom a most wonderful thing; for he had not left thelobster five minutes before he came upon a water-baby.
A real live water-baby, sitting on the white sand, very busy about alittle point of rock. And when it saw Tom it looked up for a moment, andthen cried, "Why, you are not one of us. You are a new baby! Oh, howdelightful!"
And it ran to Tom, and Tom ran to it, and they hugged and kissed eachother for ever so long, they did not know why. But they did not want anyintroductions there under the water.
At last Tom said, "Oh, where have you been all this while? I have beenlooking for you so long, and I have been so lonely."
"We have been here for days and days. There are hundreds of us about therocks. How was it you did not see us, or hear us when we sing and rompevery evening before we go home?"
Tom looked at the baby again, and then he said:
"Well, this is wonderful! I have seen things just like you again andagain, but I thought you were shells, or sea-creatures. I never took youfor water-babies like myself."
Now, was not that very odd? So odd, indeed, that you will, no doubt,want to know how it happened, and why Tom could never find a water-babytill after he had got the lobster out of the pot. And, if you will readthis story nine times over, and then think for yourself, you will findout why. It is not good for little boys to be told everything, and neverto be forced to use their own wits. They would learn, then, no more thanthey do at Dr. Dulcimer's famous suburban establishment for the idlermembers of the youthful aristocracy, where the masters learn the lessonsand the boys hear them--which saves a great deal of trouble--for thetime being.
"Now," said the baby, "come and help me, or I shall not have finishedbefore my brothers and sisters come, and it is time to go home."
"What shall I help you at?"
"At this poor dear little rock; a great clumsy boulder came rolling byin the last storm, and knocked all its head off, and rubbed off all itsflowers. And now I must plant it again with seaweeds, and coralline, andanemones, and I will make it the prettiest little rock-garden on all theshore."
So they worked away at the rock, and planted it, and smoothed the sanddown round it, and capital fun they had till the tide began to turn. Andthen Tom heard all the other babies coming, laughing and singing andshouting and romping; and the noise they made was just like the noise ofthe ripple. So he knew that he had been hearing and seeing thewater-babies all along; only he did not know them, because his eyes andears were not opened.
And in they came, dozens and dozens of them, some bigger than Tom andsome smaller, all in the neatest little white bathing dresses; and whenthey found that he was a new baby, they hugged him and kissed him, andthen put him in the middle and danced round him on the sand, and therewas no one ever so happy as poor little Tom.
"Now then," they cried all at once, "we must come away home, we mustcome away home, or the tide will leave us dry. We have mended all thebroken seaweed, and put all the rock-pools in order, and planted all theshells again in the sand, and nobody will see where the ugly storm sweptin last week."
And this is the reason why the rock-pools are always so neat and clean;because the water-babies come inshore after every storm to sweep themout, and comb them down, and put them all to rights again.
Only where men are wasteful and dirty, and let sewers run into the seainstead of putting the stuff upon the fields like thrifty reasonablesouls; or throw herrings' heads and dead dog-fish, or any other refuse,into the water; or in any way make a mess upon the clean shore--therethe water-babies will not come, sometimes not for hundreds of years (forthey cannot abide anything smelly or foul), but leave the sea-anemonesand the crabs to clear away everything, till the good tidy sea hascovered up all the dirt in soft mud and clean sand, where thewater-babies can plant live cockles and whelks and razor-shells andsea-cucumbers and golden-combs, and make a pretty live garden again,after man's dirt is cleared away. And that, I suppose, is the reason whythere are no water-babies at any watering-place which I have ever seen.
And where is the home of the water-babies? In St. Brandan's fairy isle.
Did you never hear of the blessed St. Brandan, how he preached to thewild Irish on the wild, wild Kerry coast, he and five other hermits,till they were weary and longed to rest? For the wild Irish would notlisten to them, or come to confession and to mass, but liked better tobrew potheen, and dance the pater o'pee, and knock each other over thehead with shillelaghs, and shoot each other from behind turf-dykes, andsteal each other's cattle, and burn each other's homes; till St. Brandanand his friends were weary of them, for they would not learn to bepeaceable Christians at all.
So St. Brandan went out to the point of Old Dunmore, and looked over thetide-way roaring round the Blasquets, at the end of all the world, andaway into the ocean, and sighed--"Ah that I had wings as a dove!" Andfar away, before the setting sun, he saw a blue fairy sea, and goldenfairy islands, and he said, "Those are the islands of the blest." Thenhe and his friends got into a hooker, and sailed away and away to thewestward, and were never heard of more. But the people who would nothear him were changed into gorillas, and gorillas they are until thisday.
And when St. Brandan and the hermits came to that fairy isle they foundit overgrown with cedars and full of beautiful birds; and he sat downunder the cedars and preached to all the birds in the air. And theyliked his sermons so well that they told the fishes in the sea; and theycame, and St. Brandan preached to them; and the fishes told thewater-babies, who live in the caves under the isle; and they came up byhundreds every Sunday, and St. Brandan got quite a neat littleSunday-school. And there he taught the water-babies for a great manyhundred years, till his eyes grew too dim to see, and his beard grew solong that he dared not walk for fear of treading on it, and then hemight have tumbled down. And at last he and the five hermits fell fastasleep under the cedar-shades, and there they sleep unto this day. Butthe fairies took to the water-babies, and taught them their lessonsthemselves.
And some say that St. Brandan will awake and begin to teach the babiesonce more: but some think that he will sleep on, for better for worse,till the coming of the Cocqcigrues. But, on still clear summer evenings,when the sun sinks down into the sea, among golden cloud-capes andcloud-islands, and locks and friths of azure sky, the sailors fancy thatthey see, away to westward, St. Brandan's fairy isle.
"Tom found that the isle stood all on pillars, and thatits roots were full of caves."--_P. 151_.]
But whether men can see it or not, St. Brandan's Isle once actuallystood there; a great land
out in the ocean, which has sunk and sunkbeneath the waves. Old Plato called it Atlantis, and told strangetales of the wise men who lived therein, and of the wars they fought inthe old times. And from off that island came strange flowers, whichlinger still about this land:--the Cornish heath, and Cornish moneywort,and the delicate Venus's hair, and the London-pride which covers theKerry mountains, and the little pink butterwort of Devon, and the greatblue butterwort of Ireland, and the Connemara heath, and thebristle-fern of the Turk waterfall, and many a strange plant more; allfairy tokens left for wise men and good children from off St. Brandan'sIsle.
Now when Tom got there, he found that the isle stood all on pillars, andthat its roots were full of caves. There were pillars of black basalt,like Staffa; and pillars of green and crimson serpentine, like Kynance;and pillars ribboned with red and white and yellow sandstone, likeLivermead; and there were blue grottoes like Capri, and white grottoeslike Adelsberg; all curtained and draped with seaweeds, purple andcrimson, green and brown; and strewn with soft white sand, on which thewater-babies sleep every night. But, to keep the place clean and sweet,the crabs picked up all the scraps off the floor and ate them like somany monkeys; while the rocks were covered with ten thousandsea-anemones, and corals and madrepores, who scavenged the water all daylong, and kept it nice and pure. But, to make up to them for having todo such nasty work, they were not left black and dirty, as poorchimney-sweeps and dustmen are. No; the fairies are more considerate andjust than that, and have dressed them all in the most beautiful coloursand patterns, till they look like vast flower-beds of gay blossoms. Ifyou think I am talking nonsense, I can only say that it is true; andthat an old gentleman named Fourier used to say that we ought to do thesame by chimney-sweeps and dustmen, and honour them instead of despisingthem; and he was a very clever old gentleman: but, unfortunately for himand the world, as mad as a March hare.
And, instead of watchmen and policemen to keep out nasty things atnight, there were thousands and thousands of water-snakes, and mostwonderful creatures they were. They were all named after the Nereids,the sea-fairies who took care of them, Eunice and Polynoe, Phyllodoceand Psamathe, and all the rest of the pretty darlings who swim roundtheir Queen Amphitrite, and her car of cameo shell. They were dressed ingreen velvet, and black velvet, and purple velvet; and were all jointedin rings; and some of them had three hundred brains apiece, so that theymust have been uncommonly shrewd detectives; and some had eyes in theirtails; and some had eyes in every joint, so that they kept a very sharplook-out; and when they wanted a baby-snake, they just grew one at theend of their own tails, and when it was able to take care of itself itdropped off; so that they brought up their families very cheaply. But ifany nasty thing came by, out they rushed upon it; and then out of eachof their hundreds of feet there sprang a whole cutler's shop of
_Scythes_, _Javelins_, _Billhooks_, _Lances_, _Pickaxes_, _Halberts_, _Forks_, _Gisarines_, _Penknives_, _Poleaxes_, _Rapiers_, _Fishhooks_, _Sabres_, _Bradawls_, _Yataghans_, _Gimblets_, _Creeses_, _Corkscrews_, _Ghoorka swords_, _Pins_, _Tucks_, _Needles_, _And so forth_,
which stabbed, shot, poked, pricked, scratched, ripped, pinked, andcrimped those naughty beasts so terribly that they had to run for theirlives, or else be chopped into small pieces and be eaten afterwards.And, if that is not all, every word, true, then there is no faith inmicroscopes, and all is over with the Linnaean Society.
And there were the water-babies in thousands, more than Tom, or youeither, could count.--All the little children whom the good fairies taketo, because their cruel mothers and fathers will not; all who areuntaught and brought up heathens, and all who come to grief by ill-usageor ignorance or neglect; all the little children who are overlaid, orgiven gin when they are young, or are let to drink out of hot kettles,or to fall into the fire; all the little children in alleys and courts,and tumble-down cottages, who die by fever, and cholera, and measles,and scarlatina, and nasty complaints which no one has any business tohave, and which no one will have some day, when folks have common sense;and all the little children who have been killed by cruel masters andwicked soldiers; they were all there, except, of course, the babes ofBethlehem who were killed by wicked King Herod; for they were takenstraight to heaven long ago, as everybody knows, and we call them theHoly Innocents.
But I wish Tom had given up all his naughty tricks, and left offtormenting dumb animals now that he had plenty of playfellows to amusehim. Instead of that, I am sorry to say, he would meddle with thecreatures, all but the water-snakes, for they would stand no nonsense.So he tickled the madrepores, to make them shut up; and frightened thecrabs, to make them hide in the sand and peep out at him with the tipsof their eyes; and put stones into the anemones' mouths, to make themfancy that their dinner was coming.
The other children warned him, and said, "Take care what you are at.Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid is coming." But Tom never heeded them, being quiteriotous with high spirits and good luck, till, one Friday morning early,Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid came indeed.
A very tremendous lady she was; and when the children saw her they allstood in a row, very upright indeed, and smoothed down their bathingdresses, and put their hands behind them, just as if they were going tobe examined by the inspector.
And she had on a black bonnet, and a black shawl, and no crinoline atall; and a pair of large green spectacles, and a great hooked nose,hooked so much that the bridge of it stood quite up above her eyebrows;and under her arm she carried a great birch-rod. Indeed, she was so uglythat Tom was tempted to make faces at her: but did not; for he did notadmire the look of the birch-rod under her arm.
And she looked at the children one by one, and seemed very muchpleased with them, though she never asked them one question abouthow they were behaving; and then began giving them all sorts of nicesea-things--sea-cakes, sea-apples, sea-oranges, sea-bullseyes,sea-toffee; and to the very best of all she gave sea-ices, made out ofsea-cows' cream, which never melt under water.
And, if you don't quite believe me, then just think--What is more cheapand plentiful than sea-rock? Then why should there not be sea-toffee aswell? And every one can find sea-lemons (ready quartered too) if theywill look for them at low tide; and sea-grapes too sometimes, hanging inbunches; and, if you will go to Nice, you will find the fish-market fullof sea-fruit, which they call "frutta di mare": though I suppose theycall them "fruits de mer" now, out of compliment to that mostsuccessful, and therefore most immaculate, potentate who is seeminglydesirous of inheriting the blessing pronounced on those who remove theirneighbours' land-mark. And, perhaps, that is the very reason why theplace is called Nice, because there are so many nice things in the seathere: at least, if it is not, it ought to be.
Now little Tom watched all these sweet things given away, till his mouthwatered, and his eyes grew as round as an owl's. For he hoped that histurn would come at last; and so it did. For the lady called him up, andheld out her fingers with something in them, and popped it into hismouth; and, lo and behold, it was a nasty cold hard pebble.
"You are a very cruel woman," said he, and began to whimper.
"And you are a very cruel boy; who puts pebbles into the sea-anemones'mouths, to take them in, and make them fancy that they had caught a gooddinner! As you did to them, so I must do to you."
"Who told you that?" said Tom.
"You did yourself, this very minute."
Tom had never opened his lips; so he was very much taken aback indeed.
"Yes; every one tells me exactly what they have done wrong; and thatwithout knowing it themselves. So there is no use trying to hideanything from me. Now go, and be a good boy, and I will put no morepebbles in your mouth, if you put none in other creatures'."
"I did not know there was any harm in it," said Tom.
"Then you know now. People continually say that t
o me: but I tell them,if you don't know that fire burns, that is no reason that it should notburn you; and if you don't know that dirt breeds fever, that is noreason why the fevers should not kill you. The lobster did not know thatthere was any harm in getting into the lobster-pot; but it caught himall the same."
"Dear me," thought Tom, "she knows everything!" And so she did, indeed.
"And so, if you do not know that things are wrong, that is no reason whyyou should not be punished for them; though not as much, not as much, mylittle man" (and the lady looked very kindly, after all), "as if you didknow."
"Well, you are a little hard on a poor lad," said Tom.
"Not at all; I am the best friend you ever had in all your life. But Iwill tell you; I cannot help punishing people when they do wrong. I likeit no more than they do; I am often very, very sorry for them, poorthings: but I cannot help it. If I tried not to do it, I should do itall the same. For I work by machinery, just like an engine; and am fullof wheels and springs inside; and am wound up very carefully, so that Icannot help going."
"Was it long ago since they wound you up?" asked Tom. For he thought,the cunning little fellow, "She will run down some day: or they mayforget to wind her up, as old Grimes used to forget to wind up his watchwhen he came in from the public-house; and then I shall be safe."
"I was wound up once and for all, so long ago, that I forget all aboutit."
"Dear me," said Tom, "you must have been made a long time!"
"I never was made, my child; and I shall go for ever and ever; for I amas old as Eternity, and yet as young as Time."
And there came over the lady's face a very curious expression--verysolemn, and very sad; and yet very, very sweet. And she looked up andaway, as if she were gazing through the sea, and through the sky, atsomething far, far off; and as she did so, there came such a quiet,tender, patient, hopeful smile over her face that Tom thought for themoment that she did not look ugly at all. And no more she did; for shewas like a great many people who have not a pretty feature in theirfaces, and yet are lovely to behold, and draw little children's heartsto them at once; because though the house is plain enough, yet from thewindows a beautiful and good spirit is looking forth.
And Tom smiled in her face, she looked so pleasant for the moment. Andthe strange fairy smiled too, and said:
"Yes. You thought me very ugly just now, did you not?"
Tom hung down his head, and got very red about the ears.
"And I am very ugly. I am the ugliest fairy in the world; and I shallbe, till people behave themselves as they ought to do. And then I shallgrow as handsome as my sister, who is the loveliest fairy in the world;and her name is Mrs. Doasyouwouldbedoneby. So she begins where I end,and I begin where she ends; and those who will not listen to her mustlisten to me, as you will see. Now, all of you run away, except Tom; andhe may stay and see what I am going to do. It will be a very goodwarning for him to begin with, before he goes to school.
"Now, Tom, every Friday I come down here and call up all who haveill-used little children and serve them as they served the children."
And at that Tom was frightened, and crept under a stone; which made thetwo crabs who lived there very angry, and frightened their friend thebutter-fish into flapping hysterics: but he would not move for them.
And first she called up all the doctors who give little children so muchphysic (they were most of them old ones; for the young ones have learntbetter, all but a few army surgeons, who still fancy that a baby'sinside is much like a Scotch grenadier's), and she set them all in arow; and very rueful they looked; for they knew what was coming.
And first she pulled all their teeth out; and then she bled them allround: and then she dosed them with calomel, and jalap, and salts andsenna, and brimstone and treacle; and horrible faces they made; and thenshe gave them a great emetic of mustard and water, and no basons; andbegan all over again; and that was the way she spent the morning.
And then she called up a whole troop of foolish ladies, who pinch uptheir children's waists and toes; and she laced them all up in tightstays, so that they were choked and sick, and their noses grew red, andtheir hands and feet swelled; and then she crammed their poor feet intothe most dreadfully tight boots, and made them all dance, which they didmost clumsily indeed; and then she asked them how they liked it; andwhen they said not at all, she let them go: because they had only doneit out of foolish fashion, fancying it was for their children's good, asif wasps' waists and pigs' toes could be pretty, or wholesome, or of anyuse to anybody.
Then she called up all the careless nursery-maids, and stuck pins intothem all over, and wheeled them about in perambulators with tight strapsacross their stomachs and their heads and arms hanging over the side,till they were quite sick and stupid, and would have had sun-strokes:but, being under the water, they could only have water-strokes; which, Iassure you, are nearly as bad, as you will find if you try to sit undera mill-wheel. And mind--when you hear a rumbling at the bottom of thesea, sailors will tell you that it is a ground-swell: but now you knowbetter. It is the old lady wheeling the maids about in perambulators.
And by that time she was so tired, she had to go to luncheon.
And after luncheon she set to work again, and called up all the cruelschoolmasters--whole regiments and brigades of them; and when she sawthem, she frowned most terribly, and set to work in earnest, as if thebest part of the day's work was to come. More than half of them werenasty, dirty, frowzy, grubby, smelly old monks, who, because they darenot hit a man of their own size, amused themselves with beating littlechildren instead; as you may see in the picture of old Pope Gregory(good man and true though he was, when he meddled with things which hedid understand), teaching children to sing their fa-fa-mi-fa with acat-o'-nine-tails under his chair: but, because they never had anychildren of their own, they took into their heads (as some folks dostill) that they were the only people in the world who knew how tomanage children: and they first brought into England, in the oldAnglo-Saxon times, the fashion of treating free boys, and girls too,worse than you would treat a dog or a horse: but Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudidhas caught them all long ago; and given them many a taste of their ownrods; and much good may it do them.
And she boxed their ears, and thumped them over the head with rulers,and pandied their hands with canes, and told them that they toldstories, and were this and that bad sort of people; and the more theywere very indignant, and stood upon their honour, and declared they toldthe truth, the more she declared they were not, and that they were onlytelling lies; and at last she birched them all round soundly with hergreat birch-rod and set them each an imposition of three hundredthousand lines of Hebrew to learn by heart before she came back nextFriday. And at that they all cried and howled so, that their breathscame all up through the sea like bubbles out of soda-water; and that isone reason of the bubbles in the sea. There are others: but that is theone which principally concerns little boys. And by that time she was sotired that she was glad to stop; and, indeed, she had done a very goodday's work.
Tom did not quite dislike the old lady: but he could not help thinkingher a little spiteful--and no wonder if she was, poor old soul; for ifshe has to wait to grow handsome till people do as they would be doneby, she will have to wait a very long time.
Poor old Mrs. Bedonebyasyoudid! she has a great deal of hard work beforeher, and had better have been born a washerwoman, and stood over a tuball day: but, you see, people cannot always choose their own profession.
But Tom longed to ask her one question; and after all, whenever shelooked at him, she did not look cross at all; and now and then there wasa funny smile in her face, and she chuckled to herself in a way whichgave Tom courage, and at last he said:
"Pray, ma'am, may I ask you a question?"
"Certainly, my little dear."
"Why don't you bring all the bad masters here and serve them out too?The butties that knock about the poor collier-boys; and the nailers thatfile off their lads' noses and hammer their fingers; and all the
mastersweeps, like my master Grimes? I saw him fall into the water long ago;so I surely expected he would have been here. I'm sure he was bad enoughto me."
Then the old lady looked so very stern that Tom was quite frightened,and sorry that he had been so bold. But she was not angry with him. Sheonly answered, "I look after them all the week round; and they are in avery different place from this, because they knew that they were doingwrong."
She spoke very quietly; but there was something in her voice which madeTom tingle from head to foot, as if he had got into a shoal ofsea-nettles.
"But these people," she went on, "did not know that they were doingwrong: they were only stupid and impatient; and therefore I only punishthem till they become patient, and learn to use their common sense likereasonable beings. But as for chimney-sweeps, and collier-boys, andnailer lads, my sister has set good people to stop all that sort ofthing; and very much obliged to her I am; for if she could only stop thecruel masters from ill-using poor children, I should grow handsome atleast a thousand years sooner. And now do you be a good boy, and do asyou would be done by, which they did not; and then, when my sister,MADAME DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY, comes on Sunday, perhaps she will takenotice of you, and teach you how to behave. She understands that betterthan I do." And so she went.
Tom was very glad to hear that there was no chance of meeting Grimesagain, though he was a little sorry for him, considering that he usedsometimes to give him the leavings of the beer: but he determined to bea very good boy all Saturday; and he was; for he never frightened onecrab, nor tickled any live corals, nor put stones into the sea anemones'mouths, to make them fancy they had got a dinner; and when Sundaymorning came, sure enough, MRS. DOASYOUWOULDBEDONEBY came too. Whereatall the little children began dancing and clapping their hands, and Tomdanced too with all his might.
And as for the pretty lady, I cannot tell you what the colour of herhair was, or of her eyes: no more could Tom; for, when any one looks ather, all they can think of is, that she has the sweetest, kindest,tenderest, funniest, merriest face they ever saw, or want to see. ButTom saw that she was a very tall woman, as tall as her sister: butinstead of being gnarly and horny, and scaly, and prickly, like her, shewas the most nice, soft, fat, smooth, pussy, cuddly, delicious creaturewho ever nursed a baby; and she understood babies thoroughly, for shehad plenty of her own, whole rows and regiments of them, and has to thisday. And all her delight was, whenever she had a spare moment, to playwith babies, in which she showed herself a woman of sense; for babiesare the best company, and the pleasantest playfellows, in the world; atleast, so all the wise people in the world think. And therefore when thechildren saw her, they naturally all caught hold of her, and pulled hertill she sat down on a stone, and climbed into her lap, and clung roundher neck, and caught hold of her hands; and then they all put theirthumbs into their mouths, and began cuddling and purring like so manykittens, as they ought to have done. While those who could get nowhereelse sat down on the sand, and cuddled her feet--for no one, you know,wear shoes in the water, except horrid old bathing-women, who are afraidof the water-babies pinching their horny toes. And Tom stood staring atthem; for he could not understand what it was all about.
"And who are you, you little darling?" she said.
"Oh, that is the new baby!" they all cried, pulling their thumbs out oftheir mouths; "and he never had any mother," and they all put theirthumbs back again, for they did not wish to lose any time.
"Then I will be his mother, and he shall have the very best place; soget out, all of you, this moment."
And she took up two great armfuls of babies--nine hundred under one arm,and thirteen hundred under the other--and threw them away, right andleft, into the water. But they minded it no more than the naughty boysin Struwwelpeter minded when St. Nicholas dipped them in his inkstand;and did nor even take their thumbs out of their mouths, but camepaddling and wriggling back to her like so many tadpoles, till you couldsee nothing of her from head to foot for the swarm of little babies.
But she took Tom in her arms, and laid him in the softest place of all,and kissed him, and patted him, and talked to him, tenderly and low,such things as he had never heard before in his life; and Tom looked upinto her eyes, and loved her, and loved, till he fell fast asleep frompure love.
And when he woke she was telling the children a story. And what storydid she tell them? One story she told them, which begins every ChristmasEve, and yet never ends at all for ever and ever; and, as she went on,the children took their thumbs out of their mouths and listened quiteseriously; but not sadly at all; for she never told them anything sad;and Tom listened too, and never grew tired of listening. And he listenedso long that he fell fast asleep again, and, when he woke, the lady wasnursing him still.
"Don't go away," said little Tom. "This is so nice. I never had any oneto cuddle me before."
"Don't go away," said all the children; "you have not sung us one song."
"Well, I have time for only one. So what shall it be?"
"The doll you lost! The doll you lost!" cried all the babies at once.
So the strange fairy sang:--
_I once had a sweet little doll, dears, The prettiest doll in the world; Her cheeks were so red and so white, dears, And her hair was so charmingly curled. But I lost my poor little doll, dears, As I played in the heath one day; And I cried for her more than a week, dears, But I never could find where she lay._
_I found my poor little doll, dears, As I played in the heath one day: Folks say she is terribly changed, dears, For her paint is all washed away, And her arm trodden off by the cows, dears, And her hair not the least bit curled: Yet, for old sakes' sake she is still, dears, The prettiest doll in the world._
What a silly song for a fairy to sing!
And what silly water-babies to be quite delighted at it!
Well, but you see they have not the advantage of Aunt Agitate'sArguments in the sea-land down below.
"Now," said the fairy to Tom, "will you be a good boy for my sake, andtorment no more sea-beasts till I come back?"
"And you will cuddle me again?" said poor little Tom.
"Of course I will, you little duck. I should like to take you with meand cuddle you all the way, only I must not"; and away she went.
So Tom really tried to be a good boy, and tormented no sea-beasts afterthat as long as he lived; and he is quite alive, I assure you, still.
Oh, how good little boys ought to be who have kind pussy mammas tocuddle them and tell them stories; and how afraid they ought to be ofgrowing naughty, and bringing tears into their mammas' pretty eyes!
"Thou little child, yet glorious in the night Of heaven-born freedom on thy Being's height, Why with such earnest pains dost thou provoke The Years to bring the inevitable yoke-- Thus blindly with thy blessedness at strife? Full soon thy soul shall have her earthly freight, And custom lie upon thee with a weight Heavy as frost, and deep almost as life."
WORDSWORTH.
The Water-Babies: A Fairy Tale for a Land-Baby Page 5
