by C. M. Allen
His Darkest Desires
Safe and Secured series, Volume 1
C.M. Allen
Published by C.M. Allen, 2020.
This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.
HIS DARKEST DESIRES
First edition. July 24, 2020.
Copyright © 2020 C.M. Allen.
Written by C.M. Allen.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER | 1
CHAPTER | 2
CHAPTER | 3
CHAPTER | 4
CHAPTER | 5
CHAPTER | 6
CHAPTER | 7
CHAPTER | 8
CHAPTER | 9
CHAPTER | 10
CHAPTER | 11
CHAPTER | 12
CHAPTER | 13
CHAPTER | 14
CHAPTER | 15
CHAPTER | 16
CHAPTER | 17
CHAPTER | 18
CHAPTER | 19
CHAPTER | 20
CHAPTER | 21
CHAPTER | 22
CHAPTER | 23
CHAPTER | 24
CHAPTER | 25
CHAPTER | 26
CHAPTER | 27
CHAPTER | 28
CHAPTER | 29
CHAPTER | 30
CHAPTER | 31
CHAPTER | 32
CHAPTER | 33
CHAPTER | 34
CHAPTER | 35
CHAPTER | 36
CHAPTER | 37
CHAPTER | 38
EPILOGUE | 2 YEARS LATER
Sign up for C.M. Allen's Mailing List
Further Reading: Escaping to Love
Also By C.M. Allen
PROLOGUE
Six months ago, I met her. So cute, so bubbly, and so full of life. Sloane, the woman at the coffee shop. Just the kind of woman I wanted and yet the kind I should keep away from. But I couldn't. I'd tried several times to stay away for fear of ruining her idea of what a relationship should be like, but the harder I tried, the harder it got. A couple of months ago, my choice was taken away from me. She cut me off and told me to get my shit together before I tried to come back into her life again. Hell, I didn't blame her, though, I'd been so hot and cold with her ever since we first met. The moment we got close to anything sexual happening between us, I backed off for fear of scaring her. She was an innocent and my world was dark and scary to most. Too scary to drag her into. She'd seen the beach boy surfer façade I showed to everyone, but what lurked beneath the surface, only a few would ever know about. My business partners and military buddies Dalton, Archer, and Riker, all knew who I really was for the most part. But there were even some things I did that I didn't tell them. Reyna told me to just be honest with Sloane, put all my cards on the table and let her decide for herself. But these cards were dark, and she would never decide for herself because I would do that for her, knowing there would only be one choice I would ever give her.
To be mine.
CHAPTER
1
Archer
Sitting at the desk in my office, I went through the motions as I did every day.
Every day that I longed to have her by my side.
Every day I wanted to tell her the things that I needed to.
Every day I wanted to call her mine, but I didn't.
I couldn't. "She's better off without me." It was what I always told myself anytime I started to think about her beautiful face, her beautiful body, or her beautiful lips that seemed to just melt against mine like they belonged there. A knock sounded at my door, snapping me out of the pit of hell I'd built for myself. Looking up, I saw Dalton waltzing in. "Hey man, what's up?" I asked him, playing as though nothing was amiss in my life.
"I just wanted to see where you're at on the Compton account," he dropped into the chair across from me. "It's all taken care of. You okay? Because you look like shit."
Chuckling, he replied. "Well, thanks a lot brother, but yeah, everything's fine. Just Greyson, he’s teething and kept us up half the night."
Cringing at the thought of having a child of my own to take care of, I told him. "That sucks, man."
"Yeah, well, your turn will come one day so enjoy your sleep now."
I shook my head. "Hell no, I'm not having children anytime soon or maybe not ever."
Letting out a breath, he leaned forward onto my desk. "You know you need to just come clean with Sloane and get it over with before you lose her for good. We can all see how crazy you are for the woman."
"I can't, and you know why. Not until I know what I'm going to say."
"Look, I know you’re still trying to find out who killed Parker's sister, Bryn, at that BDSM club, but don't you think you're taking this whole thing a little too far? I mean it's been months now that you've been going there and still nothing."
Running my hand over my face at the mention of Bryn's name, a beautiful, innocent woman sucked into the underbelly of the world of kink and domination, my world. She was killed for trusting the wrong man with her safety. A sick man that I would do whatever it took to have locked up or kill myself, whichever came first. We all grew up together as kids and I swore to Parker that I would do everything in my power to find her killer because it just so happened that he belonged to my club. A club my friends didn't even know that I was a member of, and not just for the investigation but had been for an exceptionally long time. "I made him a promise and I intend to keep that promise. She was my friend, too, and she didn't deserve to die that way. No woman does. The things that animal did to her..." Stopping mid sentence, I closed my eyes at the rage that filled me up every time I thought about her murder. "I just can't let that happen to another woman who comes across him, unknowing of the damage he will do to her. I do think I may have gotten a lead finally, but I need to talk to the woman who was at the club last week and roughed up by her Dom. She managed to escape, but not before he really messed her up. He seemed to know where all the security cameras were, so he never faced them and then he led her to an empty dungeon without anyone knowing. I'm just waiting until she gets out of the hospital and her family isn't around. I don't think she would want them to know the truth about what really happened to her."
Relaxing back into the chair, Dalton said, "Well, at least you might finally have something to go on then. And you know if you need mine or any of the guys help, we're always here for you."
"Thanks man, I know I can always count on you."
"Yes, you can, so now I want you to really listen to me when I tell you that you need to step it up and talk to Sloane, because I think she might be moving on soon if you don't."
This news felt like a knife being twisted in my gut. "What exactly are you talking about?" I leaned forward with a newly heightened interest.
"Honestly, it's just a feeling. But Brooke keeps mentioning this new guy she's been hanging out a lot with. His name is Jared."
My blood began to boil at this news of another man possibly touching what was mine. But then it hit me. She wasn’t mine and I had no rights to her, but then again, that didn’t matter. "So, is it serious?"
"Don't know man, but I think it's time for you to shit or get off the pot with her. You know she's under your skin, you can tell me all day she's not, but you forget I know that look and that feeling of someone touching what’s yours. And I know you won't allow another man to take what you want." Sitting there for a moment, taking in what he'd told me, he got up and headed towards the door. "I'll leave you to it. But like I said you had better figure out where you stand with her before it's too late and the decision is made for you." I gave him a nod and Dalton left my office, shutting the door behind him. Getti
ng up from my desk, I felt the intense need to move around from the anger that was now sweeping its way over me like a rush of adrenaline and I knew I needed to get out of here. After mindlessly driving around for the last half hour I found myself parked outside the Boulevard café: Sloane's work. Sitting in my car while I debated on whether to go in or not, I watched the people as they came and went.
Stay away from her, she's better off without you.
Those words ran through my mind over and over and over until I just wanted to shout back at myself to shut the fuck up! Finally, having had enough of the thoughts in my head, making my decisions for me, I got out of the car and headed inside to see who exactly this Jared was to her and find out what the hell was really going on between the two of them.
Opening the door to the café, my senses were overcome by the familiar aroma's of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods, but then I spotted her and I couldn't think of, or smell anything else. As I stood in line, waiting for my turn, I saw Reyna catch my eye and give me a little smirk as if to say that she knew I'd come around. But what she didn't know was that I didn't even know if I had yet or not. While I waited, I searched the area in the café and noticed a guy sitting at one of the tables, looking in Sloane's direction and causing me to wonder if this was the guy that I'd just heard way too much about. Keeping my eyes on him, he finally caught my stare and glared back at me before returning to read the paper in front of him. Turning my attention back to what was in front of me, I found that the line had cleared and that the only person in front of me was the only one I wanted or needed. It was then that it hit me like a brick wall, I would do whatever it took to make her understand me.
CHAPTER
2
Sloane
As I got ready for work this morning, I had a bit of a distraction pulling me back. He was about six feet tall with dark hair, green eyes, and a body like a God. His name was Jared, we had met at the café one morning a few weeks ago when he came in, and we'd been hanging out now and then ever since. He really was a great guy, knew what he wanted, and didn't play the hot and cold games with me the way Archer used to. But even though he seemed to really like me, and the sex was good, I found him to only be a distraction from what I really wanted.
What my body wanted.
And that was Archer's touch.
Even though we’d never had sex, we had messed around with one another. The things that man could do with his tongue and hands alone had always left me wondering what other delicious surprises he had in store.
You're better off forgetting him.
I told myself, just like I did every day when I thought about him. I mean what the hell was wrong with me? I had a hot man in my bed wanting to make love to me at any time of day or night and make me happy, yet here I sat thinking of Archer.
Hearing Jared's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Babe, call in sick today so we can stay here and just enjoy each other all day long."
Giggling at his comment, I walked over to where he sat on the bed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I would love to, but Reyna, and McKenzie would be pissed at me."
Wrapping his arms around my waist, he squeezed me tightly to him. "So what about me? I'll be hurt that you have to go."
I smiled down at him. "You could always give me a ride there, have some coffee and then pick me up after so we can hang out."
He let out a sigh. "Well, it's not the same because I can't give you any orgasms in the middle of the café, but I guess it will have to do," he said, sealing it with a kiss.
Slapping him on the shoulder, I scolded him. "You are a dirty, dirty boy."
"Well, you make me that way sexy ass, so it's all your fault."
I grabbed my things and headed to the door. "Whatever. Let's get going so we can get this day over with then."
Entering the café this morning, it was busy as usual. "Go ahead and get a table, I'll bring you over some coffee and a breakfast sandwich," I told him before walking away.
"Sloane?"
I turned back. "Yes?"
"Do I get a kiss?"
Smiling, I assured him. "I'll give you a really hot one with your coffee, okay?" Then winked at him playfully.
"I’ll take it," he said with a huge grin that warmed my heart for him just a little more.
"I see you have your Archer stand in with you again." Reyna blurted out as I walked in the back room to put my things down.
Tired of hearing her snide comments about Jared, I snapped back. "He's not a stand in for Archer, Reyna. I really like him, and he knows what he wants. It just so happens that it’s me. Is there anything wrong with that?"
She placed her hands on her hips as she walked closer. "Yeah, there is if you don't share those same feelings for him."
"Who's to say that I don't?"
"You say it every time Archer's name is mentioned. I can tell you still have feelings for him."
"That may be true, but when I told him, two months ago, to get his shit together before he came back into my life if he really wanted me that badly it would have happened by now, but it hasn't. I'm not just going to sit around waiting and pinning away after him when he still can't be with me without limits or secrets."
She blew out a heavy breath. "Look, I agree that you shouldn't wait around for him, but I have tried to tell you that he's really crazy about you, there's just something holding him back."
"Well, what if that never changes? Then all I've done is possibly pass up on a good man for one who might love me one day. No, I can't do it and I won't, not anymore. I've done that in past relationships and I won't make that same mistake again. So, if you'll excuse me, I need to get Jared some breakfast."
As I turned to walk away, Reyna reached out to grab my hand, stopping me. "Look, I'm sorry for butting in, I just want to see you happy."
"I know, and I love you for it, but Jared is what makes me happy right now."
Hugging me, she replied. "Then I'm happy for you. Now get out there and feed that man of yours." Laughing at her, I walked out to get his coffee and sandwich to bring them to him.
"Mm, looks good, babe."
"Okay, I've got to get to work so I'll see you at three?"
"Sounds good."
Leaning in, I gave him a kiss on his lips before smiling at him and heading behind the counter.
The customers just kept flowing through the door this morning. It seemed to just get more and more busy every day as the word spreads about Haiden's little café. As Reyna and I worked through the customers, I came across one that made my whole-body freeze in its tracks the moment he stood in front of me.
Archer.
He looked as handsome as ever in his three-piece suit, the kind that he always wore to the office. Not wanting Jared, who was still here, to know anything about who Archer really was to me, I acted as if he'd been just another customer.
"Hi, what can I get for you?"
Giving me that sexy half ass smirk of his, he asked. "Oh, so is that how we're going to play this? Like you don't know me?"
Worried that Jared would possibly overhear him, I shot a look over in his direction to check if he's paying attention to our conversation, only to find that he certainly was.
Archer caught my glance in his direction and followed my line of sight to him before looking back at me. "So, that must be the infamous, Jared, I've heard so much about."
Jerking my eyes back to his, I asked. "How do you know...?" Realizing mid sentence that it had been either Brooke or Reyna that had given me away, I continued. "Never mind that doesn't matter, did you want some coffee, or what?"
He leaned in closer to me. "No, but you and I have some things we need to discuss, and I mean right now." He jabbed his finger on the counter as if to make his point on the severity of the discussion he wanted to have with me.
Looking over in Jared's direction again, I saw him getting up and walking straight towards us.
Shit, shit, shit.
Not the best way to start my day. "Is there a p
roblem here?" Jared asked Archer.
Shaking his head, Archer stood to his full six feet to match Jared's height. "No. Nothing to concern you. The lady and I are old friends and have a little catching up to do."
Feeling the tension thicken between the two of them, I turned to Reyna and gave her a pleading look to intervene. "Hey, Archer. Was Slade in the office this morning?" She asked, trying to draw his attention away from Jared.
Releasing his glare, that was locked on Jared, he turned to her. "Yes, he was. Did you need something?"
"Yes, can you come over here though, I don't really want to shout this out."
Archer glared back at Jared, then looked at me. "You and I are not finished here. I'll be right back." I watched as Jared reached out, putting his hand on Archer's shoulder as he turned to walk away, stopping him in his tracks. All I could do was pray that Archer held his temper in check and didn't start anything here in front of everyone. Swinging around, he moved forward, getting right into Jared's face. "Do we have a problem here that I need to help you figure out?"
"Yeah, we do. You can tell me what you want with Sloane? She's with me and I'm not fond of other men thinking they can just come in here and pull her aside for a private conversation about catching up as you so nicely put it."
"Well, that's just too bad, because what I have to say is between her and I and has nothing to do with you."
Jared, stepped forward, getting a little closer to Archer's face. "Listen here, everything she does concerns me."
Not able to take this cock fight a moment longer, I told both of them. "That's enough! Both of you! You're making a scene and embarrassing me. Both of you can just leave right now." I turned on my heels and headed to the back area, away from them so I can think straight for a moment.
CHAPTER
3
Archer
This fucking guy standing here, talking to me as if he owned Sloane, had no idea how close he was to getting his ass beat right now. The only thing that held my fists in check right now was the fact that I didn't want to make a scene where Sloane had to work every day and probably see most of these people again. Even as I tried not to cause a scene, I ended up doing just that, making Sloane tell us both off as she retreated to the back out of sight, leaving only Reyna to glare at us both.
