“Yes, I was,” she argued but he gave her a blank look. He stood suddenly and swiped his hand through his hair. Destiny remembered the gesture well. It was his biggest sign of agitation. It was difficult to remember he was her enemy when he seemed so familiar to her.
“So, what would you call it? These visions?” he demanded.
“Memories, perhaps?” she offered hesitantly. Did she dare hope he was beginning to remember her and their time together? “What did you see? When did these visions start?” It was difficult to contain her excitement. The mind wipe was supposed to be complete but what if they missed something? Rooka may have made a mistake in calibrating the equipment. Or maybe she did it on purpose to offer her and Jevlen a chance to renew their relationship.
“It started after you repaired my primary processor. I believe it has something to do with the amount of voltage I received, though I don’t understand why it would produce these – ah, visions.”
“Yes, I also assume it was caused by the lightning strikes. What did you see, Jevlen?” she reached out for him but couldn’t touch him from her place on the pallet.
He stepped closer and leaned over her. Destiny rolled to her back. She winced from the pain in her shoulder but she didn’t say anything and she didn’t cry out. He stared down at her intently and as she watched, his eyes darkened and dilated. What was he thinking? What was he about to do?
Jevlen sensed her accelerated heart beat as he stood over her. Her scent filled his olfactory processor. An image flashed into his mind, of her laying beneath him as she was now, but she was laughing and she was unclothed. He clenched his fists. He wanted the flash of dream – or memory? – to continue but he didn’t want to lose control of the situation. Had she caused this? Had she done something to his processors to produce these flashes? He knew she hoped to escape; perhaps she believed she could confuse him and persuade him to let her go.
As he stared at her in his vision, he ran his fingers lightly over her lips. She opened her mouth to bite his fingertip. He felt the shock of it throughout his circuitry. With a mischievous grin she released his finger so he could continue to touch her. He trailed his fingers slowly down her neck and lower still to cup her full breast. He wanted her and soon he would have her. He spoke the words in his mind as his fingers kneaded the soft flesh. He heard her gasp and blinked away the vision. Was it dream or reality? She still lay on the pallet but she was clothed. He realized this wasn’t a vision as he cupped her soft breast in his hand. Shocked at himself and his loss of awareness, he snatched his hand away and took a hasty step back, bumping into the chair.
She shifted so she was sitting with her back against the headboard. She wrapped her hands around her knees and stared at him wide-eyed.
“What have you done to me?” he asked harshly.
“I didn’t do anything!” she retorted.
“Who are you?” he fired back.
“You’ve read my personnel file –“
“Don’t talk to me about personnel files!” he growled in frustration. “Tell me who you are!”
She visibly swallowed and he immediately regretted his outburst. Snarling and terrifying her was no way to get his questions answered.
“As you know, I’m Lieutenant Destiny Kagar, science officer for the Confederation. What you don’t remember is that I’m your,” she paused and swallowed again. He felt impatient with her hesitation and a little fearful of what she might reveal. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt fear. “I’m your mate,” she stated softly.
He shook his head, denying her claims. “No. No, that isn’t possible. I have no mate.”
She lifted her chin and met his gaze squarely. “You do. But I have been removed from your memory through a mind wipe. You lost three years of your life. All the time of your recovery was erased from both your natural mind and your internal processor.”
“You did this?” he asked sharply.
“Of course not! But I was there when Colonel Bronsten ordered the wipe. I – I tried to stop the technician –“ She shook her head and her gaze dropped away. She looked miserable. Could she be telling the truth? Was she in fact his mate? His orders were to apprehend her and immediately return her to Confederation Base Bravo Two. Yet she held the key to the three missing years of his life. And if it was true that she was his mate, then he had to know. He had to remember!
“Repair me! Restore my memory! I know you have the capability.”
Destiny slowly shook her head. “I can’t!”
No, that couldn’t be her answer! He gripped her shoulders and lifted her so she was kneeling on the bed. “You must! I have to know what happened during those three years. I will not be satisfied with flashes of memory. Don’t you see? Experiencing those brief glimpses of you – of us together – will drive me mad!”
“I know, Jevlen, and I’m sorry.” She covered his hand with hers and squeezed his fingers. “I cannot explain why you suddenly have these flashes of memory after your mind was wiped. The deletion process is supposed to be complete and non-reversible. Even if I had the right tools, I doubt I could –“
“Then we will get you the right tools!”
“It isn’t that simple! I need a lab and access to the Confederation database, and all the information on you is restricted. I could never get close enough to that information to find out what exactly was done to you. And even then, it probably won’t account for the electrocution you received. That may have stirred something dormant they may have missed, and it might contain partial memory but not the full three years. There may be nothing that can be done, Jevlen.”
He couldn’t accept that was true. He’d seen her miraculous capabilities – had experienced them first hand when she interfaced directly with his circuitry. He knew she was a rare, enhanced Dalandrakian who could interact with devices, but he didn’t know why she’d run away from her duties on Confederation Base Bravo Two.
“Why am I required to capture you?” he asked suddenly. When she blanched and tried to move away he gripped her hand and held her in place. “I want to know the truth. From your perspective.”
“I don’t see why it matters. You’re under orders to retrieve me and I know nothing will stop you from completing your mission.”
“True,” he answered matter-of-factly and could tell she wasn’t pleased with his answer. “However, I am a commander with the Dark Marauders and my rank carries much weight. If you gave me compelling information to support your case, perhaps your sentencing will be lighter.”
His words were intended to comfort her but he sensed her retreating. He didn’t want that! Just as he stepped back to give her a little space he had another flash of memory. He could see her clearly in his mind. “You wanted to return to Dalandrake for your birthday so you could introduce me to your family, but the Colonel wouldn’t allow me to leave the base.”
“You remember that?” Destiny asked with awe.
“I also remember how furious the Colonel made me whenever he was near you. His behavior was inappropriate and too personal for a man in his position. I will make a note in my file about his conduct concerning his subordinates.”
“Based upon what? A flash of memory? You have less evidence of his wrong doing now than you did two years ago when it was happening in front of your face. You had nothing tangible then or now.”
Jevlen reached for her hand as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Yes, but now everything is different.”
“You don’t have to remind me,” Destiny muttered and Jevlen registered her sarcasm.
“I want you to interface with my memory processor. Perhaps nothing will happen. But maybe you can unlock the block that has been placed in my mind. Perhaps the memories aren’t deleted at all. They’re just masked.” He took her hand and placed it on the side of his head. “Please.” He liked the feel of her cool fingers against his head. He craved more of her touch.
“Once I restore you, do you plan to take me back to the Colonel?” she asked grimly.
&
nbsp; “I cannot allow you to go free, Lieutenant Kagar. I would be disobeying orders.”
Annoyance flashed in her eyes but she nodded. She motioned for him to turn so he was fully seated on the sleeping pallet and facing her. As she reached for his head he grabbed her wrist before she could touch him again. “Do not shut down my processors,” he warned. She had used moments of his weakness against him in order to escape. If she did it again, he wouldn’t be able to stop her any better than he had the times before.
“I won’t – this time. But I will not return to the Colonel. He’s an evil man; you once were very suspicious of him. There are things about him you no longer remember.”
“Tell me.”
She shook her head. “It’s really pointless since you’re intent on following your orders regardless of what I say. Let me concentrate on trying to restore your memory.”
Her fingers were cool against his heated skin. Being near her created a biological reaction his internal temperature controls weren’t prepared to deal with. As she concentrated, her eyes went from hazel to silver – just as he remembered. He hoped he was about to remember many things. He’d tried to ignore the gaping hole in his memory but it always bothered him. What really happened during that time? He always figured it was too traumatic for him to process and they deleted his memories as an act of mercy. But he assumed wrong. Deleting his mate out of existence was no mercy!
As he enjoyed the feel of Destiny’s hands on his face and head, as well as her close proximity, he could feel a subtle shifting within his primary processor. “A change is happening.” His heart rate accelerated.
“I may have found something,” she murmured.
Suddenly he was bombarded with images flying through his mind. They came at him too fast to process. Along with the images came myriad emotions. Sadness, pain, despair, joy, passion, love. He saw Destiny over and over. Saw what was done to his body as they rebuilt him into a cyborg. He saw Colonel Bronsten and felt the innate distrust and dislike he held for the man. Then, suddenly, all the images were gone and in their wake was a blinding pain in his head. He mourned the loss of his briefly gained memory, but he was in too much pain to protest.
“What is it? What happened?” Destiny asked with a worried frown. She tipped up his chin so she could study his face.
Jevlen shook his head then wished he hadn’t. “Memories came, then gone. Now, pain,” he uttered. Each word came with difficulty as he closed his eyes to shut out the light. His retinal sensors seemed to amplify the light’s intensity, making the pain worse.
He felt her hands slide over his head again, but it barely registered through the paralyzing agony. She may have done this on purpose to incapacitate him but he couldn’t devote enough thought to the possibility. He could only hope he’d lose consciousness soon.
“It’s all right. I’ve got you,” Destiny whispered as she eased him back against the pillows. Now he was the patient, whereas just minutes ago she was receiving healing for her shoulder wound. Jevlen didn’t protest as his head nestled into the pillow. He was completely defenseless. He just wanted the pain to go.
She touched his temple with her fingertips and suddenly the pain was gone. His eyes snapped open in surprise.
“Better?” she asked. “I’m not sure what happened. I think there were safeties put in place to prevent restoration. I could try again, but it will take time and you might experience the headaches again. If I had the proper tools, it might help –“
“Enough talk, Destiny.” He quickly moved so she was suddenly beneath him and his hands were propped on either side of her face. She may not have turned on his memories, but she’d adjusted something very important within him. His Ronoshian instincts had always been there – subdued by the electrical and mechanical processors. But now his instincts were fully, dominantly awake. And he was alone, on a pallet with his mate. There was only one thing he wanted right now, and that was her.
FOUR
“What are you doing, Jevlen?” Destiny tried to push against his chest but it was like trying to move a steel girder. Jevlen wasn’t going anywhere, which meant neither was she. She became very still when he took a deep breath, inhaling her scent.
“You smell incredible.”
Destiny had cried herself to sleep many times with memories just like this. Scent was very important to Ronoshian men when it came to intimacy. “Oh, no. This isn’t a good idea.” She pushed against his chest again but he still didn’t move.
“Are you not my mate as you claim?” Jevlen asked as he slowly lowered his hips, aligning himself perfectly with her. Destiny gasped at the arousing feel of him against her. He obviously wanted her. His green eyes sparked with the same heat that was slowly spreading through her body. Sex had always been combustible between them, happening fast and hard and in the most inappropriate places.
“Yes, I’m your mate,” she responded barely above a whisper.
“Then prove it. Help me remember, Destiny. Make me feel more like a man and less like a machine.”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked. It was sweet torture. She wanted to fall into his arms and forget all the horrible things that had happened in the past two years. She’d been so lonely and miserable without him. Yet this wasn’t right – or was it? Shouldn’t she be allowed to feel like a desirable woman again?
“I want new memories to replace the ones I lost,” Jevlen responded huskily as he reached for the fasteners on her tunic.
As he pushed the tunic away, Destiny slipped her hand up to the back of his head. He froze and his gaze sharpened with wariness. She knew he worried she was about to deactivate his processor again but she instead pulled him down. Her lips met his hungrily. His kiss seared her and she realized just how starved she was for his touch. She tentatively tasted his tongue with hers. With a groan, he ground his hips against hers as his tongue responded to hers.
The old passion ignited within her and suddenly she needed much more of him. It didn’t matter why they were together – only that they were. She tugged at his Dark Marauder’s uniform. Clothes were in the way. He understood her wordless demand and tugged the shirt free. He kept his hand on her as if he was afraid to break contact while he wrestled free of his clothing. Hers quickly followed.
“You always were in a hurry to join with me,” she teased as he settled himself between her thighs once more. She could feel his urgency. She shared the same anxious need. She slipped her hands to his muscled buttocks and urged him forward. He needed no persuasion. With a powerful thrust their bodies were joined.
Their union was never just a physical one. As Jevlen moved within her, pressing deeper and harder, Destiny felt her heart join with his again. It was a familiar union and long overdue. His heart may have been part machine but it belonged only to her. She ran her hands up the hard planes of his chest to cling to his shoulders. He buried his face in her neck. She heard his familiar murmurings, Ronoshian words of endearment. He always whispered them when they joined and she wanted to cry at the sound of his soft words. She never thought she’d experience this again. Her mate. Her love. He was infinitely powerful but there was no pain in their union, only tenderness. Together they raced to that highest point where the cosmos exploded and bliss enveloped them. Destiny crashed over the edge first with a soft cry. Jevlen’s roar of satisfaction followed a second later.
Afterward, as they fought to capture their breath, Destiny was afraid her lover would quickly change back into the unyielding cyborg commander. Instead, he gathered her close.
“You belong to me, Destiny Kagar.” It wasn’t just a statement, it was a command. Destiny knew all his Ronoshian instincts had risen to the surface because of the hormonal influx. She wondered if he would still feel the same once his system stabilized. She had a feeling Commander Jevlen Sonju was about to make a reappearance. Despite loving him with all her heart and feeling grateful for these special moments they shared, she would have to disappear again. She couldn’t allow him to take her back to the Colon
el – especially now.
After several long moments of silence, Jevlen climbed from the pallet. He handed her clothing then quickly dressed.
“I won’t go back to Colonel Bronsten,” she stated as she fastened her tunic in place.
“You must. However, as your mate, I’m in a position to insist on favorable treatment. You will not be harmed.”
Destiny laughed bitterly. “You cannot keep that promise, Commander Sonju. We’re talking about the Colonel. He will have his way at any cost and I suspect he wants to get rid of me permanently.”
Jevlen’s look was a mix of sympathy and regret as he pulled her into his arms again. Destiny resisted at first but she’d never been able to resist Jevlen for long. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “A battle rages within me. From the moment I saw your personnel file, I knew there was something special about you but I had no idea you were my mate. Even though I have no memory of our time together, I feel protective of you. Yet I also feel confused. I cannot believe you are the criminal the Colonel claims.”
“And yet you’ll sacrifice me to him?”
A bleak look of despair crossed his face then was gone. “I will stay with you. Not even the Colonel can insist on our parting –“
“He has before.” Destiny shook her head. “He’s much more devious than you realize.”
A determined look settled on Jevlen’s face and he rose to his full intimidating height. “He will not succeed this time.”
***
Destiny could only hope Jevlen was right. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed him to capture her so easily after two years of constantly running for her life. What was wrong with her? A quick tumble on the pallet and now she was a submissive domestic? She’d seen those women in the big cities, where they were reduced to pets for the men who owned them. Studded with rare jewels and draped in rjacca silk, the men snapped a collar around his pet’s neck and led her around on a leash. The woman would do anything for her master. Is that what she’d become? She’d received enough jibes in the Confederation lab for consorting with a cyborg. Perhaps those cruel comments had been true. She was nothing more than a slave to her machine.
Captured by the Cyborg: The Dark Marauder's Mate (The Dark Marauder's Mate Scifi Series Book 5) Page 4
