by Louise Hay
Exercise: I Approve of Myself
I have given this exercise to hundreds of people, and the results are phenomenal. For the next month, say over and over to yourself, “I APPROVE OF MYSELF.”
Do this three or four hundred times a day, at least. No, it’s not too many times. When you are worrying, you go over your problem at least that many times. Let “I approve of myself” become a walking mantra, something you just say over and over and over to yourself, almost nonstop.
Saying “I approve of myself” is a guaranteed way to bring up everything buried in your consciousness that is in opposition.
When negative thoughts come up, such as, “How can I approve of myself when I am fat?” or “It’s silly to think this can do any good,” or “I am no good,” or whatever your negative babble will be, this is the time to take mental control. Give these thoughts no importance. Just see them for what they are—another way to keep you stuck in the past. Gently say to these thoughts, “I let you go; I approve of myself.”
Even considering doing this exercise can bring up a lot of stuff, like “It feels silly,” “It doesn’t feel true,” “It’s a lie,” “It sounds stuck up,” or “How can I approve of myself when I do that?”
Let all these thoughts just pass through. These are only resistance thoughts. They have no power over you unless you choose to believe them.
“I approve of myself, I approve of myself, I approve of myself.” No matter what happens, no matter who says what to you, no matter who does what to you, just keep it going. In fact, when you can say that to yourself when someone is doing something you don’t approve of, you will know you are growing and changing.
Thoughts have no power over us unless we give in to them. Thoughts are only words strung together. They have NO MEANING WHATSOEVER. Only we give meaning to them. Let us choose to think thoughts that nourish and support us.
Part of self-acceptance is releasing other people’s opinions. If I were with you and kept telling you, “You are a purple pig, you are a purple pig.” You would either laugh at me, or get annoyed with me and think I was crazy. It would be most unlikely that you would think it was true. Yet many of the things we have chosen to believe about ourselves are just as far out and untrue. To believe that your self-worth is dependent on the shape of your body is your version of believing that “You are a purple pig.”
Often what we think of as the things “wrong” with us are only our expressions of our own individuality. This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself. Since time began on this planet, there have never been two snowflakes alike or two raindrops the same. And every daisy is different from every other daisy. Our fingerprints are different, and we are different. We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is no competition and no comparison. To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul. We have come to this planet to express who we are.
I didn’t even know who I was until I began to learn to love myself as I am in this moment.
Put Your Awareness into Practice
Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you feel good.
Planting Seeds
Think for a moment of a tomato plant. A healthy plant can have over a hundred tomatoes on it. In order to get this tomato plant with all these tomatoes on it, we need to start with a small dried seed. That seed doesn’t look like a tomato plant. It sure doesn’t taste like a tomato plant. If you didn’t know for sure, you would not even believe it could be a tomato plant. However, let’s say you plant this seed in fertile soil, and you water it and let the sun shine on it.
When the first little tiny shoot comes up, you don’t stomp on it and say, “That’s not a tomato plant.” Rather, you look at it and say, “Oh boy! Here it comes,” and you watch it grow with delight. In time, if you continue to water it and give it lots of sunshine and pull away any weeds, you might have a tomato plant with more than a hundred luscious tomatoes. It all began with that one tiny seed.
It is the same with creating a new experience for yourself. The soil you plant in is your subconscious mind. The seed is the new affirmation. The whole new experience is in this tiny seed. You water it with affirmations. You let the sunshine of positive thoughts beam on it. You weed the garden by pulling out the negative thoughts that come up. And when you first see the tiniest little evidence, you don’t stomp on it and say, “That’s not enough!” Instead, you look at this first breakthrough and exclaim with glee, “Oh boy! Here it comes! It’s working!”
Then you watch it grow and become your desire in manifestation.
Exercise: Create New Changes
Now is the time to take your list of things that are wrong with you and turn them into positive affirmations. Or you can list all the changes you want to make and have and do. Then select three from this list and turn them into positive affirmations.
Just suppose your negative list was something like this:
My life is a mess.
I should lose weight.
Nobody loves me.
I want to move.
I hate my job.
I should get organized.
I don’t do enough.
I’m not good enough.
You can then turn them around to something like this:
I am willing to release the pattern in me that
created these conditions.
I am in the process of positive changes.
I have a happy, slender body.
I experience love wherever I go.
I have the perfect living space.
I now create a wonderful new job.
I am now very well organized.
I appreciate all that I do.
I love and approve of myself.
I trust the process of life to bring me my highest good.
I deserve the best, and I accept it now.
Out of this group of affirmations will come all the things you want to change on your list. Loving and approving of yourself, creating a space of safety, trusting and deserving and accepting, will enable your body weight to normalize. They will create organization in your mind, create loving relationships in your life, attract a new job and a new place to live. It is miraculous the way a tomato plant grows. It is miraculous the way we can demonstrate our desires.
Deserving Your Good
Do you believe that you deserve to have your desire? If you don’t, you won’t allow yourself to have it. Circumstances beyond your control will crop up to frustrate you.
Exercise: I Deserve
Look in your mirror again, and say, “I deserve to have or be ___________, and I accept it now.” Say it two or three times.
How do you feel? Always pay attention to your feelings, to what is going on in your body. Does it feel true, or do you still feel unworthy?
If you have any negative feelings in your body, then go back to affirming, “I release the pattern in my consciousness that is creating resistance to my good.” “I deserve ___________.”
Repeat this until you get the acceptance feelings, even if you have to do it several days in a row.
Holistic Philosophy
In our approach to Building the New, we want to use a holistic approach. The holistic philosophy is to nurture and nourish the entire being—the Body, the Mind, and the Spirit. If we ignore any of these areas, we are incomplete; we lack wholeness. It doesn’t matter where we start as long as we also include the other areas.
If we begin with the body, we would want to work with nutrition, to learn the relationship between our choice of food and beverages, and how they affect the way we feel. We want to make the best choices for our body. There are herbs and vitamins, homeopathy and Bach Flower Remedies. We might explore colonics.
We would want to find a form of exercise that appeals to us. Exercise is something that strengthens our bones and keeps our bodies young. In additio
n to sports and swimming, consider dancing, Tai-Chi, martial arts, and yoga. I love my trampoline and use it daily. My slant board enhances my periods of relaxation.
We might want to explore some form of body work such as Rolfing, Heller Work or Trager. Massage, foot reflexology, acupuncture, or chiropractic work are all beneficial, as well. There is also the Alexander Method, Bioenergetics, Feldenkrais, Touch for Health, and Reiki forms of body work.
With the mind, we could explore visualization techniques, guided imagery, and affirmations. There are lots of psychological techniques: Gestalt, hypnosis, rebirthing, psychodrama, past-life regressions, art therapy, and even dream work.
Meditation in any of its forms is a wonderful way to quiet the mind and allow your own “knowingness” to come to the surface. I usually just sit with my eyes closed and say, “What is it I need to know?” and then I wait quietly for an answer. If the answer comes, fine; if it doesn’t, fine. It will come another day.
There are groups that do workshops for all different tastes such as Insight, Loving Relationships Training, Advocate Experience, the Ken Keyes group, Actualizations, and many more. Many of these groups do weekend workshops. These weekends give you a chance to see a whole new viewpoint about life. No one workshop will totally clear up ALL your problems forever. However, they can assist you in changing your life in the here and now.
In the Spiritual Realm, there is prayer, there is meditation, and becoming connected with your Higher Source. For me, practicing forgiveness and unconditional love are spiritual practices.
There are many spiritual groups. In addition to the Christian churches, there are metaphysical churches, such as Religious Science and Unity. There is the Self-Realization Fellowship, M.S.I.A., Transcendental Meditation, the Siddha Foundation, and so on.
I want you to know that there are many, many avenues you can explore. If one way doesn’t work for you, try another. All these suggestions have proved to be beneficial. I cannot say which one is right for you. That is something you will have to discover for yourself. No one method or one person or one group has all the answers for everyone. I don’t have all the answers for everyone. I am just one more stepping stone on the pathway to holistic health.
In the infinity of life where I am,
all is perfect, whole, and complete. My life is ever new.
Each moment of my life is new and fresh and vital.
I use my affirmative thinking to create exactly what I want.
This is a new day. I am a new me.
I think differently. I speak differently. I act differently.
Others treat me differently.
My new world is a reflection of my new thinking.
It is a joy and a delight to plant new seeds,
for I know these seeds will become my new experiences.
All is well in my world.
Chapter Nine
DAILY WORK
“I enjoy practicing my new mental skills.”
If Children Gave Up When They Fell for the First Time, They Would Never Learn to Walk
Like any other new thing you are learning, it takes practice to make it part of your life. First there is a lot of concentration, and some of us choose to make this “hard work.” I don’t like to think of it as hard work, but rather as something new to learn.
The process of learning is always the same no matter what the subject—whether you’re learning to drive a car, or type, or play tennis, or think in a positive manner. First, we fumble and bumble as our subconscious mind learns by trial, and yet, every time we come back to our practicing, it gets easier, and we do it a little better. Of course, you won’t be “perfect” the first day. You will be doing whatever you can do. That’s good enough for a start.
Say to yourself often, “I’m doing the best I can.”
Always Support Yourself
I well remember my first lecture. When I came down from the podium, I immediately said to myself, “Louise, you were wonderful. You were absolutely fantastic for the first time. When you have done five or six of these, you will be a pro.”
A couple of hours later, I said to myself, “I think we could change a few things. Let’s adjust this, and let’s adjust that.” I refused to criticize myself in any way.
If I had come off the podium and begun berating myself with, “Oh, you were so awful. You made this mistake, and you made that mistake,” then I would have dreaded my second lecture. As it was, the second one was better than the first, and by the sixth one, I was feeling like a pro.
Seeing “The Law” Working All Around Us
Just before I began writing this book, I bought myself a word processor/computer. I called her my “Magic Lady.” It was something new I chose to learn. I discovered that learning the computer was very much like learning the Spiritual Laws. When I learned the computer’s laws, then she did indeed perform “magic” for me. When I did not follow her laws to the letter, then either nothing would happen or it would not work the way I wanted it to work. She would not give an inch. I could get as frustrated as I wanted while she patiently waited for me to learn her laws, and then she gave me magic. It took practice.
It’s the same with the work you’re learning to do now. You must learn the Spiritual Laws and follow them to the letter. You cannot bend them to your old way of thinking. You must learn and follow the new language, and when you do, then “magic” will be demonstrated in your life.
Reinforce Your Learning
The more ways you can reinforce your new learning, the better. I suggest:
Expressing Gratitude
Writing Affirmations
Sitting in Meditation
Enjoying Exercise
Practicing Good Nutrition
Doing Affirmations Aloud
Singing Affirmations
Taking Time for Relaxation Exercises
Using Visualization, Mental Imagery
Reading and Study
My Daily Work
My own daily work goes something like this.
My first thoughts on awakening before I open my eyes are to be thankful for everything I can think of.
After a shower, I take half an hour or so to meditate and do my affirmations and prayers.
Then after about 15 minutes of exercise, usually on the trampoline, I will sometimes work out with the 6:00 a.m. aerobic program on television.
Now I’m ready for breakfast consisting of fruit and fruit juices and herbal tea. I thank the Earth Mother for providing this food for me, and I thank the food for giving its life to nourish me.
Before lunch I like to go to a mirror and do some affirmations out loud; I may even sing them—something like:
Louise, you are wonderful, and I love you.
This is one of the best days of your life.
Everything is working out for your highest good.
Whatever you need to know is revealed to you.
Whatever you need comes to you.
All is well.
Lunch is often a large salad. Again, the food is blessed and thanked.
In the late afternoon, I spend a few minutes on my slant board, allowing my body to experience some deep relaxation. I may listen to a tape at this time.
Dinner will be steamed vegetables and a grain. Sometimes I’ll eat fish or chicken. My body works best on simple food. I like to share dinner with others, and we bless each other in addition to the food.
Sometimes in the evening, I take a few moments to read and study. There is always more to learn. At this time I may also write out my current affirmation 10 or 20 times.
As I go to bed, I collect my thoughts. I go over the events of the day and bless each activity. I affirm that I will sleep deeply and soundly, awakening in the morning bright and refreshed and looking forward to the new day.
Sounds overwhelming, doesn’t it? To begin with, it seems like a lot to cope with, but after a short period of time, your new way of thinking will become as much a part of your life as bathing or brushing your teeth. You w
ill do it automatically and easily.
It would be wonderful for a family in the morning to do some of these things together. Meditating together in the morning to start the day or just before dinner brings peace and harmony to all. If you think you don’t have the time, you might get up half an hour earlier. The benefits would be well worth the effort.
How Do You Begin Your Day?
What is the first thing you say in the morning when you wake up? We all have something we say almost every day. Is it positive or negative? I can remember when I used to awaken in the morning and say with a groan, “OH GOD, ANOTHER DAY.” And that is exactly the sort of day I would have, one thing after another going wrong. Now when I awaken and before I even open my eyes, I thank the bed for a good night’s sleep. After all, we have spent the whole night together in comfort. Then with my eyes still closed, I spend about ten minutes just being thankful for all the good in my life. I program my day a bit, affirming that everything will go well and that I will enjoy it all. This is before I get up and do my morning meditation or prayers.
Meditation
Give yourself a few minutes every day to sit in quiet meditation. If you are new at meditation, begin with five minutes. Sit quietly, observe your breathing, and allow the thoughts to pass gently through your mind. Give them no importance, and they will pass on. It is the nature of the mind to think, so don’t try to get rid of thoughts.
There are many classes and books you can explore to find ways to meditate. No matter how or where you begin, you will eventually create the method best for you. I usually just sit quietly and ask, “What is it that I need to know?” I allow the answer to come if it wants to; if not, I know it will come later. There is no right or wrong way to meditate.
Another form of meditation is to sit quietly and observe the breath as it goes in and out of your body. As you inhale, count one, and as you exhale, count two. Continue counting until you get to 10, then begin again at one. If you notice your counting takes you to 25 or so, just go back to one.
