by Mary Winter
“I was married,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “Lydia believed we were mates. I— Well, with Carmen’s father as the alpha I knew I had no chance of finding you. I could have defied my alpha, but that would have made me a lone wolf. I don’t work well that way. I need the pack. I also didn’t want to marry Carmen, and she certainly didn’t want to mate with me. So with Lydia…it was easy to let her believe the fantasy. And after a while, I guess I started believing it too.”
Pain stabbed her. He’d been married. Had loved before. While she’d been what…working? Trying to make a life and forget about him. She knew the phone and the interstate ran both ways. She could have looked him up just as easily, but as he said, there was no way the alpha would have given his consent, not with Carmen unmated. She drew a shuddering breath and took a drink to try and keep the sudden tears at bay.
“She was killed by a distracted driver about six years ago. In the end, I think she realized that we weren’t mates. I wasn’t unfaithful. I gave my word and I stood by it, and Lydia deserved…someone better. Someone who loved her. We both were running from things and I guess once we figured out that we didn’t have to run anymore it was too easy to stay married. She knew about you, knew that I loved you. I think if she’d still been alive after Carmen’s dad passed away, we would have gone our separate ways and she would have encouraged me to find you.” He reached for her hand and she tangled her fingers with his, needing the connection, needing to feel him.
With her free hand, Stacia pushed her fry into her mouth to give herself a moment. “Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“If you had, would you still have looked me up?”
Her gaze locked with his. Would she have? “I don’t know,” she admitted and realized this was turning into quite the conversation in the early morning hours.
He squeezed her fingers. “For so long I blamed myself. But in spite of everything Lydia assured me she was happy. And I thought that was the most important thing. Then, when she died, I felt so guilty, as if I’d kept her from something or someone better.” He took a drink and swallowed hard. “So I guess I was trying to remember that she’d want me to go on and reunite with you, and trying very hard not to feel as if I were betraying her memory.”
“Oh,” Stacia said again. “Do you?” She had to know. If he believed he was betraying his deceased wife’s memory, she wasn’t sure she could continue to be with him. And yet, thinking about walking away tore her heart in two. She slid from the bed and gathered up their now empty plates and put them back on the tray. She set the tray just outside the door, then stripped out of her pants and crawled back into bed wearing just her camisole and panties. She turned toward him and pulled the covers up to her chin, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.
“No. Not when I think about it.” He reached for her, tugging down the blankets and pulling her close to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and she snuggled against his warm skin. “I regret marrying Lydia only because I didn’t do it for the right reasons. But we weren’t mates and so it could never have been for the right reasons.” He tucked her head beneath his chin and stroked her back. “I don’t want this to come between us. She’s gone. Has been for a while.”
Stacia nodded against his broad chest. Her legs tangled with his. Her beast didn’t care about all the human emotions. It wanted her to roll Travis over onto her and make love to him until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. The beast wanted its mate. Her inner wolf gave a mournful cry at the very prospect that her human half would push their mate away. She couldn’t do that. Even after this revelation, the idea seemed abhorrent to her. “I understand,” she whispered. And she did. Had she not been so driven by her career, determined to put all thought of love and mates out of her mind for so long, she might have done the same thing.
“Are you sure?” He held her tighter. “Damn, Stacia. I don’t want to—”
She lifted her hand and pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing him. “It’s the past. Let’s let it stay there.”
“Oh Stacia, I love you so much.” He pushed her away just far enough to claim her lips. While he kissed her, he pushed her back to the mattress and moved over her. It didn’t take long for either of them to get naked, and then he treated her to the long, slow lovemaking she’d been craving. When she finally fell asleep dawn was spreading light across the eastern horizon.
~* * *~
“Come run with the pack,” Travis said, pulling her to him as they sat in the hot tub the next evening. “We’re going to run this weekend. I know Carmen wouldn’t mind. She texted me that she gave her approval before I came here.”
“Are you sure?” She tilted her head to look at him over her shoulder. “That’s kind of a big step.”
“Of course.” He splayed his hand across her stomach, his fingers tantalizingly close to her breasts. “But it’s one I want to take with you.”
His words stole her breath. She paused, listening to the laughter of a young family entering the pool area. Travis didn’t release her, not even when the kids jumped into the pool, splashing and laughing. Did he regret the fact that they probably wouldn’t have kids, that her age would most likely work against them in that event. And at this point in her life, she thought, she really liked that it was the two of them. The parents sat on the edge of the pool, dangling their legs in until the mother stepped in with them, accepting the swim ring from the father. Stacia watched them until Travis’ kiss on the top of her head distracted her.
“You’re thinking again. I can tell.” He smiled against her hair.
“Just watching them. Realizing that I never really wanted something like that. I like that it’s the two of us like this.” She shifted. “Though we might be a bit close.”
“I’m just holding you. We’re fine, I’m sure.” He dipped his head to kiss her shoulder. “Think about it. You’re more than welcome to run with us.” The jets stopped and Stacia moved so Travis could press the button to turn them on again. “One more time,” he said. “Then I think we need to see about booking a couple’s spa day.” He rubbed his stubbled chin against her sensitive skin.
She chuckled at his audacity, even while the idea of the two of them getting pampered and massaged sounded so heavenly. “You have a date.”
“And I have the prettiest woman in the entire place.” He nipped her earlobe and she shuddered. As soon as they got out of this hot tub, she had plans for them.
As it was, they barely made it to the hotel room, before she shut the door behind them, then grabbed Travis by the waistband of his swim trunks and pulled him close. Their lips met in a hungry dance, the thrust and parry of their tongues mimicking the movements of their lower body. She shoved the straps of her one-piece down her shoulders, before breaking the kiss long enough to push the suit off her body. She chucked it in the direction of the bathroom, hearing it hit the bathtub with a wet splat. His swim trunks followed, then somehow they made it to the bed, rolling together as he entered her.
She couldn’t wait. The kisses and touches only served to heighten her arousal and she was wet and ready for him. She accepted his thrusts, urging him faster with her hands on his ass, and when she shattered, she gave voice to her pleasure with a scream. He followed soon thereafter, and it was only in the aftermath that she realized they hadn’t used a condom.
Chapter Five
Travis waited in the parking lot, glancing toward the drive every so often to see if Stacia was here. He nodded as the brothers and their fathers stepped into the woods to shift. Had told Carmen he was okay before she took off. Even Letty, the pack’s lone single female had taken off shortly thereafter. His phone buzzed.
Got called into work for an emergency. I’m sorry. I can’t make it. Will talk to you later. Given the drive back to Belleview, he wondered how long she’d known and how long she’d waited to talk to him. The week had been wonderful. He’d had to leave the day after their couples spa date because he had tours. He’d wanted to bring her
on the water. She asked for a few days to think about things. He hoped like hell this wasn’t her answer.
He tucked his keys into the combination safe box that they kept in the back of Carmen’s vehicle just for this purpose, tossed the blanket back over the box, then took off for the woods. A moment later he shifted. The colors changed, the smells becoming stronger. The loamy earth and recently rain-washed trees filled his senses first. He relished the pads of his paws sinking into the soft turf, and he easily picked up Carmen’s scent as he followed the pack. He overran the brothers’ father first, the older man running not full out, but enough to enjoy it. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his eyes sparkled. With a nod, he passed him, then found the two brothers not far ahead, presumably tempering their run for their father’s aging body. The women ran ahead of them. Letty and Carmen, nearly neck and neck, racing through the woods. He scented a deer a moment before Carmen did, nudging Letty so they could chase it for a little while. Travis followed, keeping the women in his sights, as was expected for Carmen’s lieutenant.
Stacia would have loved this. The park was hardly used and the ranger on patrol was a bear shifter who was known to close the gates and not let anyone in while the local packs ran. With the treaty, such cooperation and joint runs were becoming more commonplace. The runs were often held on Sunday afternoons, or at night, making sure no one from the regional office would come and visit. And if those living nearby heard wolf howls, well it was easily dismissed. Several packs occupied the Cascades and further west. If a male travelled far out of his range, well it happened.
The women slowed as did he, matching his pace to theirs. Then, they stopped and sniffed the ground, then flopped down and rolled. He joined them, the sensation of leaves and grass against his fur hitting all the right itchy spots. He rubbed against a tree, and watched as the brothers and their father came to the clearing. Everyone lay down and enjoyed simply being in their shifted form.
Stacia would have loved this he thought again. He resisted the urge to lift his muzzle to the sky and howl. Many shifters only had limited thought, remaining the beast, when they shifted. He didn’t. It was like a man inside the beast’s body and at times it chafed. Like right now, when all he wanted to do was run to Stacia, figure out what happened, what had changed, and drag her back to the pack.
At Carmen’s signal everyone stood and loped back to the cars, shifting and grabbing their clothes from the pile left on the hood of her car. After some words to the brothers and their father, they left, followed by Letty. Then, it was just he and his alpha.
“Stacia couldn’t make it?”
“No,” he admitted. “She said there was an emergency at work.”
“Reach out to her. You told her about Lydia?” It was the first time in a long time that Carmen had said her name, and the soft tone startled him.
He nodded.
“She’ll get past that. We all knew Lydia and you weren’t mates. And at least I knew, if no one else did, why you married her instead of setting her right.” Carmen closed her eyes. “My father was a stern man and believed a great many things about shifters that certainly don’t fit into our society. I’m not convinced he would have forced us to marry, but I also know why you did what you did.” She rested her hand on his shoulder. “You’re a good and honorable man, Travis, and you deserve some happiness.”
He hoped so. “Thanks. I figured I’d call once I got back home. She works for a firm in Belleview, and depending on the construction project there certainly could have been an emergency. I don’t know how far in advance she planned her vacation.” With those words, he realized he didn’t know a lot about her, including her address. Which meant showing up at her place and surprising her kind of out of the question. Showing up at work was a more risky proposition. He didn’t want to get her in trouble.
“Call me if you need me. Unlike my father, I try to stay out of people’s personal lives. If you don’t mind, I promised my mate I’d join him for dinner tonight.”
“You still commuting between your houses?”
She nodded. “Someday we’ll have to change that. Still working out if I move or he does. I’m easier to move, but the pack is here, so I stay.” She squeezed his arm, then turned and opened the door to her car.
Travis took his cue to leave. He followed her out of the parking lot, waving at the conservation worker who watched them go and opened the gates indicating the park was open to the public once more. The drive gave him too much time to think and still Stacia hadn’t called.
~* * *~
After one final tour the next day, Travis cleared his calendar. He had at least a week off, in which he hoped to spend it working on one of his boats now that the part had arrived. It’d wait. He’d done a bit of searching and couldn’t find any engineering jobs in the area. He texted Carmen that he was going to Belleview. Come hell or high water he’d be talking to Stacia and they’d figure something out.
The fact that she hadn’t called meant either she was buried in work or was avoiding him. He wished they had a PI or a cop in the pack, someone who could look up where she lived or where she worked to make things easier for him. He wasn’t good with that and also didn’t want to appear like a crazy stalker. Still, there were only a few firms and after checking their website and staff bios, he’d found her. He packed an overnight bag and within the hour he was on the road south.
He arrived a little before five and thought waiting in the parking lot would be a stalker move. Instead, he glanced down at his slacks and shirt, and deciding he looked presentable enough, went in the front door. At the receptionist’s desk, he stopped.
“Can I help you?” She asked, looking up with a smile that grew bigger when her focus lingered on his chest and arms.
“I have an appointment with Stacia Summerwood.”
The receptionist, someone who was most likely young enough to be his daughter, glanced at the calendars and frowned. “I don’t see you on the schedule Mr….”
“Travis Locke. We’ve been corresponding about a dock project.”
“And you’re with…”
“Private contractor.” The answer rolled easily enough off his tongue since he worked for himself. He watched the receptionist pick up the phone and a moment later gave a curt nod.
“Go down the hall. It’s the third door on the right.” She turned back to her computer and started to shut it down for the day.
“Thank you.” He followed her directions to the door bearing Stacia’s name. Through the large window he saw her bent over her keyboard, a pencil tucked behind her ear and a furrow on her brow. He knocked gently and she gestured him in.
Her rose blouse and black skirt appeared far too severe for the woman he’d seen at the casino. A glance showed her pumps sitting beneath her desk, her feet were bare. He paused by the desk, wanting to swoop in and kiss her, and yet the window and the fact that he didn’t want to embarrass her at work kept him from doing so.
“I’m sorry I haven’t called. I’ve been busy with this emergency. “She gestured to the screen. “The inspector decided our plans weren’t up to code and we have to fix them before construction can continue. Hopefully without making them redo a lot of what they’ve already done.” She frowned. “I’m almost done. I’m glad you’re here. I really am. This is just important.”
He nodded. “Do you want me to wait—”
She cut him off and took a key off its ring. “This is for my apartment.” She wrote down her address and an alarm code. “It’s not much, but it’ll be more comfortable than sitting around here. I’m sorry. I know I should have called. Things just got out of hand. We should have known about these issues weeks ago.” She sighed and shoved the paper across the desk.
He leaned over and kissed her. “It’s all right. Thanks. See you later.”
She nodded. “I wasn’t planning on staying more than an hour or so. Thanks for understanding.”
Of course. If the situations had been reversed and she’d come to him, he’d
do much the same thing if he’d been working in the middle of a project. “See you soon,” he said as she turned back to her computer and when he walked past the receptionist desk she was gone. He noticed two other people working in the offices, the rest empty and the receptionist gone. He went to his car and with a little help from the GPS in his phone found her apartment.
Her apartment said more about her than she probably wanted him to know, he guessed from its sterile, out of a standard color palette decoration to the fact that there weren’t any pictures or photos. Not even a family picture graced the small table in the entry way or the mantle in the living room. If he hadn’t known it was her apartment, it could have been a residential hotel. The living room and kitchen were open to each other, a small bar separating the two. The bathroom was functional and the bedroom reasonably large. The presence of a laptop charger on the end table next to the couch told him where she often worked, and the fridge held the basics and little more. That, he could remedy.
He found a notepad on the refrigerator where she’d started a grocery list. He quickly added to it, thinking that he’d be here for a few days, and the last thing he wanted was to eat her out of house and home. Checking the brands in the fridge, he locked the apartment and hurried to the nearest grocery store. It took nearly the full hour she said she’d be working for him to make the purchases, haul them to her apartment and put them away. He finished the job and had chicken breasts marinating in a chipotle lime sauce, crusty bread slathered with butter and garlic ready for the oven, and was just debating on sides when the door opened.
“Oh!” She gasped as she came through the door. “Whatever you’re doing smells wonderful!” As if on cue her stomach rumbled and Travis grinned because his mate was allowing him to take care of her.
