by Bobbi Smith
Espri stirred, coming awake slowly. She was surprised to find that she had slept the afternoon away and it was dark. Shifting positions, she groaned aloud as her bruised, cramped muscles protested.
Mitch heard her moan and sat up with a start. "Espri? What's the matter?"
She had not known that he'd returned and she gasped, jumping slightly at the unexpected sound of his voice. "Mitch?"
"Just a minute; I'll light the lamp again."
She saw the flare of the match and watched as he adjusted the wick.
"There." He turned to her, his expression worried as he regarded her from across the cabin. "Are you ill?"
"No," she replied, her breath catching in her throat as she returned his regard. How handsome he looked, so tall and virile. Espri couldn't help but remember the first time she'd seen him wearing the pants she'd fashioned and how happy they'd been for a short while. "It's just that I've grown quite stiff from the fall."
"Let me help you. Do you want to sit up?" He started toward her.
"No," Espri answered almost too quickly. She didn't want him any closer than necessary. "I'll manage."
"I hope I didn't frighten you just now."
"No. I just hadn't expected you to be here," she said skittishly. "What time is it?"
"About an hour after sundown," he told her as he settled back in the chair.
"You were in the chair? Why? I thought we'd agreed to share the bed."
"We did," he acknowledged. "But you seemed to be resting comfortably and I didn't want to risk waking you."
"That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you." Espri was quite touched by his consideration.
"Sleep, I'm sure, is the best thing for you right now."
"I suppose. I know the doctor has ordered bed rest, but I don't know how I'm going to stand being in this cabin for very long. I'm not used to being so confined."
"Since your health depends on it, I will make sure that you do as Dr. Canfield ordered," Mitch stated firmly. "Now, if you've no objection, I need to get some rest. Do you want to try to go back to sleep or would you like me to get you something to eat?"
"No, I'm not hungry. Please, come to bed if you're tired."
As casually as Mitch could, he turned the lamp back down and joined her on the bed. Then, in a move that was totally unexpected, he leaned over her and quickly brushed his lips to hers.
"Good night, Espri," he said huskily as he lay back.
"Good night," she answered, stunned. As she lay next to him, listening to the even sound of his breathing, she recalled other nights they'd shared and the joy she'd found in his arms. Closing her eyes, she fought against the memory of his embrace, but thoughts of his loving assailed her and she longed to share that bliss again. Resignedly, she closed her eyes and tried to blot out the disturbing memories.
Mitch's every nerve was aware of Espri resting by his side, and it took a supreme effort to control his desire to hold her. He understood the delicacy of her condition and had no intention of making love to her; he only wanted to comfort her and demonstrate the depth of his feelings for her. Rolling onto his side, he faced away from Espri and finally managed to relax enough to fall asleep.
Chapter 21
The pale light of the morning sun was just filling their cabin with a cozy golden glow when Mitch awoke. The sight of Espri sleeping next to him brought a slow smile to his handsome features, and he grew resolute in his purpose. He would win her love, and when he did, he would once again taste of her body's joys. The memory of caressing her silken flesh and kissing her until she was wanton with desire caused his body to crave her, and he fought down the urge to take her. Trying to relax, he lay still, savoring the intimacy of the moment.
As if sensing his heated gaze upon her, Espri stirred restively in her slumber, accidentally brushing away the blanket. Mitch stared ruefully at the long, concealing gown she wore and he wished for a moment that Mildred had never given it to her. Still, the thrust of her breasts against the soft, white material was so enticing, it took all of his willpower not to reach out and fondle those inviting curves.
Levering himself up on an elbow to look down at her, Mitch murmured a deep, "Good morning, darling."
Espri's eyes flew open at the sound of his voice, so near, and she stared up at him in bewilderment. In all the time they'd slept together since being married, he had never lingered in bed in the morning and she wondered why he was starting to do so now.
"Good morning," she answered hesitantly, feeling most vulnerable under his warm, probing gaze.
"Did you rest well?" he asked, his gaze dwelling on the sweetness of her mouth suggestively before lifting to meet her eyes.
"Yes. I did," she told him, growing more nervous with each passing moment.
"Good." Mitch bent toward her easily and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. He felt her tense as he kissed her, and though he sighed inwardly, his grin was wide and slightly mocking when he drew back. "I'll bring breakfast to you shortly, but is there anything I can help you with before I go?" he asked, solicitous of her delicate situation.
"No. I'll be fine." Espri did want to take care of her more personal needs, but she felt uncomfortable doing so in his presence and wanted him to leave her.
She watched as he rose and efficiently began to dress, pulling on his dark pants and then shrugging into a shirt. The rough fabric was pulled taut across his wide shoulders, and, strangely, she suddenly wanted to run her hands over their broad, thickly muscled expanse.
Mitch glanced up as he buttoned the shirt and then sat back down on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots. "I'll be back with your meal. You just stay in bed," he ordered as he rose to leave the cabin.
But Espri was not inclined to follow his directions, and as soon as he had closed the door, she swung her legs over the side of the bed in an attempt to make her way to the convenience. She had just stood up and taken her first unsteady steps when a wave of dizziness left her reeling. Her knees began to buckle, and she was reaching out blindly for some support when the door swung open.
"Damn!" The harshness of Mitch's curse resounded through the cabin even as he scooped her up in the warm strength of his arms. Striding angrily toward the bed, he laid her gently upon it, then glowered at her. "I thought you were supposed to stay in bed!"
Espri flushed beneath his condemning glare. "I had to use the convenience," she said lamely.
"I offered to help you in any way I could, didn't I, madam?" he pressed, irritated that she would refuse his aid and then risk her health by trying to walk on her own.
"Yes." Espri was mortified.
"And you didn't trust me enough to allow me that privilege?"
"I'm sorry," she muttered, embarrassed.
Having made his point, Mitch once again took her in his arms and carried her easily across the stateroom to the privacy of the small bathroom. "There. Now, just call me when you've finished and I'll carry you back."
"Thank you." It irritated her to have to rely on him for anything, but she knew he was right. She was definitely still too weak to be up by herself.
A few minutes later, she was tucked safely back in bed, and she couldn't resist a small smile as Mitch gently tended her person. How wonderful it felt to be so cherished, but what did it all mean? Was he really this concerned about her and their future together, or was he just assuaging the guilt that she knew must be haunting him? That last possibility dulled the pleasantness of the moment and her smile faded.
"Now, is it safe for me to go for your breakfast?" he asked, his eyes glowingly upon her.
"Yes," she replied coolly.
He glanced at her sharply and, seeing her closed expression, knew that their brief moment of closeness was over, that she had retreated behind her shell of indifference. "I'll be back," he said curtly, his good mood shattered.
Mitch was frustrated as he stalked from the room. As rich and successful as he was in San Francisco, he had never had to make much of an effort to win a woman's affection
s. Women had always sought him out and had been more than willing to share his bed. Now, he was the one doing the pursuing, and he found this reversed situation more than a little frustrating. Still, he wouldn't have it any other way. Espri was the only woman he wanted, and she was definitely worth the effort. He would take his time and win both her trust and her love. Determined, he went straight to the galley for her breakfast.
When he returned to their stateroom, he was pleased to find Espri still comfortably ensconced in bed. She looked up as the door opened, and her eyes widened at the sight of the food-laden tray.
"I won't be able to eat all that," she protested.
"You won't have to. Some of it's for me. I've decided to breakfast with you." He set the tray on the bed beside her, then pulled up the chair.
"You're staying?" Her surprise was evident, for he had never lingered with her in the past.
Mitch's expression was strained as he looked at her. "I told you we were making a new start. Do you have an objection to my company? Would you rather I leave?"
"Well, no, but . . ."
Mitch felt a surge of victory over that one concession. "Fine. Then let's eat before everything gets cold." He took a napkin from the tray and spread it across her lap in a gesture that seemed impersonal, yet it left Espri oddly breathless. Setting her plate before her, he took up his own and sat down next to the bed to eat.
Espri's emotions were in turmoil. Confused, she turned her attention to her food. Mitch's nearness set her nerves on edge and she ate mechanically, neither tasting nor enjoying the fare. What she felt for him was powerful. She longed for his touch and kiss, but she was no longer willing to risk inviting hurt. His last rejection had nearly crushed her, and she doubted that she would be able to go on, should he cast her aside again. Hardening herself against the temptation to give in to his sweetly offered attentions, she knew she would have to fight him with all her strength.
"Full?" His question startled her from her thoughts.
"What? Oh, yes, thank you." She handed him her plate as he stood up.
"I've offered to help Captain Clark, so I'll probably be gone for several hours. I spoke with Mildred while I was in the galley, and she said she'd be coming to visit you some time this morning," he explained. "Would you like me to stay until she gets here?"
"No. It's not necessary. I think I'll just try to sleep a little more." Espri huddled down under the covers, hoping to convince him of her need to rest.
"Then I'll be back to check on you as soon as I can." Mitch placed their plates on the tray, which he set on the chair. Turning back to her, he sat on the bed, his rock-hard thigh pressed tightly to her softer one. "I'll try to hurry." His eyes were alight with promise.
Espri nervously watched as he leaned forward, intent on kissing her. She knew she should turn away, or cough, or something, but she wanted that kiss. It seemed an eternity before his lips finally touched hers in a light, impersonal caress, and she felt extremely disappointed. Though she tried to mask it, Mitch saw the frustration reflected in her eyes, and he knew a moment of unsurpassed joy. She did feel something for him! Giving her a warm smile, he stood up.
"I'll be back," he said easily, and taking the tray, he left the room.
Although Mitch was physically busy all morning working with Captain Clark and Tommy, his thoughts were constantly on Espri. He felt certain that he was making progress with her and that it was just a matter of time before he won her over. It was near noon when he finally managed to break away to check on her, and he was disappointed to find that she was asleep. Returning to the duties the captain had given him, he passed the afternoon in a haze of anticipation, and he was greatly relieved when sundown finally came.
Espri had spent the day either napping or visiting with Mildred, who'd spent most of the morning with her. As the hours had passed and Mitch had not come back to see her, she had become slightly depressed. She was reluctant to admit it to herself, but she missed him, and when he finally came through the door, at dusk, she couldn't repress a smile of gladness.
Mitch saw her smile and his heart grew light. "Good evening, love." He wanted to go straight to the bed and kiss her, but he stifled the urge and set about stripping off his shirt so he could bathe.
"Good evening, Mitch," she replied, unable to take her eyes off of him as he strode about the cabin, naked to the waist.
"You look lovely tonight," he told her as he moved to the washstand and poured his bathwater.
"Thank you. Mildred helped me bathe, and she combed out my hair."
Mitch stared down at the black silken length of her hair and without conscious thought, he reached out to lift one heavy strand, rubbing it sensuously between his fingers. Espri lifted her eyes to his and she gasped slightly when she saw the heated intensity of his gaze.
Held captive by the wonder in her expression, he almost told her that he loved her, but he held back.
Tearing her gaze away from his with a determined effort, Espri decided she wouldn't give in to the urge to tell him of her feelings. It was not easy to fight her attraction for him when he was being so kind and loving, but she had to do it. She wasn't at all certain that the attention he was giving her was real, and she couldn't take the chance that it wasn't.
Their brief interval of intimacy gone, Mitch reluctantly returned to his bathing.
"Captain Clark said he would have a cabin boy bring dinner to us tonight." Mitch spoke again just as he finished washing.
"I think I'd prefer to eat alone tonight." Her tone was cold, and he stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her.
"I see," he said slowly, stiffening as he saw the coldness of her expression. "In that case, my dear, I shall leave you to your solitary meal." He donned clean clothes and left.
Espri had not expected Mitch to agree to go so readily, and perversely, her heart sank as the door closed behind him. When the cabin boy came with the food a short time later, she found she had no appetite and could only pick at the offered dishes.
Mitch's first reaction to her pronouncement had been anger, but when he'd had time to think it through, he realized that Espri had suffered much in the last few days. He knew that, had he been in her position, he, too, would have found it difficult to believe his profession that he wanted to make the marriage work. Resigning himself to giving her more time, he partook of a late meal in the galley with the crew.
The hour he was gone was torturous for Espri. She wondered if he would return that night, and though she disguised it when he finally did return, she was almost delighted to see him.
"I trust you enjoyed your dinner?" Mitch asked politely as he quickly undressed.
"Yes, I did," she replied.
"Good. Shall I turn the lamp down?" He was standing nude before her, waiting for her answer.
"Yes. I suppose I am ready for bed," she told him as aloofly as she could.
He nodded and, after extinguishing the light, he joined her on the bed. Not at all deterred by her refusal to dine with him, he bent over her masterfully and took her lips in a long, sweet kiss before lying back to sleep.
"Good night, Espri." His voice was deep, a sensuous caress upon her already frazzled senses, and when she didn't respond, he smiled in the darkness as he rolled over to go to sleep.
That first day established the pattern for the days to come. Every morning, Mitch would awaken Espri with a tender kiss and then help her with her ablutions before bringing her breakfast. He would pass the day working with the captain, and then return to her in the evening after she'd eaten her late meal. He had not attempted to join her again for dinner, having decided to wait until she invited him back. Each night he kissed her before going to sleep, and while his need for her was growing, so far he had managed to keep his desire under control.
As Espri regained her strength, her days became a blur of activities. Mildred visited often and kept her entertained with stories of life aboard the Providence while they both worked diligently on sewing new garments for her. It
was during one of these visits, during the second week of her recovery, that Mitch returned unexpectedly.
"Good morning, ladies," he greeted them cheerfully, his teeth flashing whitely in his deeply tanned face.
As much as she didn't want to be attracted to him, Espri found herself thinking of the kiss they'd shared before he'd left her earlier that day, and her cheeks flushed in remembered pleasure.
"I have a surprise that I think my wife might enjoy," Mitch said, catching her attention.
Puzzled, Espri wondered what kind of surprise he could find in the middle of the ocean. "A surprise?"
"I've just spoken with Dr. Canfield, and he has no objection to your going up on deck for a while," he explained.
"Really?" Her excitement was obvious.
"Really." He grinned, glad that his suggestion to the doctor had pleased her. "Is there something suitable she can wear, Mildred?"
"Of course. Just give us a few minutes and we'll be ready," the older woman answered, and when Mitch stepped from the room, she hastened to help Espri into a daygown appropriate to wear on deck.
Though the ship's doctor had allowed Espri out of bed a little more each day, she had been confined to the stateroom, so the prospect of sitting in the sun and enjoying the freshness of the sea breezes thrilled her. Espri was ready to hurry from the room on her own, but Mildred overruled such foolishness.
"Sit down, Espri. You're not walking anywhere," she ordered firmly. "I'll get Mitch."
Her spirits buoyant, the young woman dropped down onto the bed to await her husband's return.
"You're ready?" Mitch asked as Mildred brought him into the room.
"Yes," Espri told him happily, thinking he would only be helping her up. When Mitch lifted her into his arms and held her snugly against his broad chest, she was amazed. "You're going to carry me?"
"Absolutely," he answered, thinking how wonderful it felt to have her near him once again. "The doctor said you were to take no chances on the steps."
