by Skye Horn
With a nervous glance at the others, Amara slipped inside. No one but Iris showed signs that they were happy to see her. There was a murmur of excuses about giving the sisters space to talk as they departed, but Declan was the last person to leave the room, casting a wary glance at Thea as he said, “I won’t be far.”
Thea felt a twinge of guilt at how she’d treated him, but the anger over his unexpected kiss outweighed the regret. The problem was, Thea didn’t know if she had a right to be angry at all.
She hadn’t tried to stop him from kissing her, had kissed him back, and gone from confused to angry without a moment of thought. Plus, shouldn’t she forgive him? Since he’d probably spent the last few days blaming himself for causing her to try to end her own life after that kiss.
Amara took Ethel’s spot on the bed, interrupting Thea’s thoughts with a look of unfamiliar concern. It was strange to see her former enemy looking at her in that way, but Thea wasn’t about to let her say anything they’d feel awkward about later.
“I didn’t try to kill myself,” Thea blurted.
Amara laughed, but it wasn’t the cruel laugh that Thea had become accustomed to during their previous time together.
“I’m glad to hear you aren’t that stupid,” she said with a smirk. Despite the mocking tone, Thea liked knowing someone had some faith in her—even if it was Amara. Thea hadn’t seen Amara since she’d saved the younger girl’s life in Ivandor over six months ago, but something had changed since then. Amara still looked like the teenager who’d murdered her ex-boyfriend under the influence of Morrigan and brought Thea to their father out of some desperate need for attention, but her eyes no longer held the menacing shadows of dark magic behind them. Her hair had grown out a little since they’d last met, and the red tint around her eyes was nearly gone, but it wasn’t just the physical changes that surprised Thea. It was the nervousness beyond Amara’s gaze, the way her eyes darted to each corner of the room as if preparing for someone or something.
“Did you get him under control?” Iris asked, continuing a conversation that must have happened before Thea awoke from her magic-induced cat-nap.
“Who?” Thea asked, looking between them. In some ways, Amara was the spitting image of their father. She shared the same pointed chin and high cheekbones that Thea had noticed on Malachi—traits Thea herself had. But in other ways, Amara was tall and lean like her mother, with long curling eyelashes and ashen blond hair. She had narrow hips and strong shoulders ready to face any obstacle. Thea imagined Iris would have looked very similar at seventeen.
“For now,” Amara said, not answering Thea’s question. “He knows she’s awake, though; it’s only a matter of time before he forces his way in here.”
“Who?” Thea repeated.
“Kieran,” Iris answered, meeting Thea’s confused gaze. Her confusion quickly turned into concern. If Kieran was nearby, and no one was allowing him into the room, who knew what he would do? Especially if he, like everyone else, thought Thea had attempted hurting herself. A pang of unnecessary guilt ran through Thea’s veins. She had nothing to feel guilty about. It wasn’t like she’d actually tried killing herself. And yet, wasn’t it her fault that anyone thought she was in that state of mind?
Also, hadn’t she thought about what they would think if she were gone more than once? She wouldn’t voice that at this moment, but she couldn’t help the guilt it put on her.
“What did you mean ‘under control’?” Thea asked, lifting an eyebrow as she returned her gaze to Iris. “What happened while I was unconscious?”
“He came in here demanding to see you, and your friends weren’t thrilled about it,” Iris murmured. “Something about some choice words he said to you back in the village?”
Now it was her turn to tilt her head in curiosity at Thea, whose face had grown bright pink. She couldn’t speak.
“I’ll fill you in on that later,” Thea promised. “And on Declan and Haven.”
She wanted to tell Iris everything that she’d missed, but the thought of Kieran trying to force his way into this room to see her had her mind spinning with emotions. For one, the idea of seeing him after their fight in the village made her stomach roil with dread. She couldn’t shake the way he’d spoken to her, or the things he’d said, and she didn’t know if she could survive him coming into this room and repeating her worst nightmare. But if he had stopped caring about her wellbeing, then why would he need to be ‘controlled,’ as Iris had put it? Some part of him must have still care about her if he was facing her group of angry friends right now—friends that included Declan.
Declan, whom she’d kissed.
And suddenly, Thea thought she might be sick. She lay back against the bed, taking a deep steadying breath to calm the nausea that twisted at her insides. Why had she kissed Declan back? He had been kind to her, but her reaction should have been to push him away immediately. So why hadn’t she?
“Are you okay?” Amara asked, watching Thea’s expression. She wondered if she looked as pale as she felt, but nodded her head. Kissing Declan hadn’t been wrong, especially after how Kieran had treated her, and yet, she felt like she’d betrayed him somehow.
Would he hate her for it?
More importantly, why did she still care what he thought about her actions when he’d made it crystal-clear he wanted nothing to do with her?
Thea considered her options. She could refuse to see Kieran and handle this with the help of the others, but she didn’t imagine he’d be too happy about that. So if ignoring him wasn’t an option, she’d have to face him. By the look on Iris’ face, this decision was completely up to her.
Great.
Once more, Thea’s emotions were impeding the decisions she needed to make as the heiress to the Ivandor throne, but she knew what needed to be done. When Kieran and Thea had battled Malachi in Ivandor, their bond had manifested itself into a powerful magic. That had played an important role in their success. She couldn’t just ignore that.
“I am going to need him,” Thea stated, but the words tasted foul in her mouth. She didn’t want to need Kieran for anything anymore, but it would be petty to keep him out of this when it involved him as much as anyone else. There were too many unanswered questions about Ainé and Morrigan for her to handle alone. Plus, if the mission was for the safety of Faerie, Thea knew Kieran would do whatever she asked.
“Need him for what exactly?” Amara asked, eyeing Thea.
“I’m going after Ainé,” Thea said cautiously. Despite Amara’s turnaround, Thea still couldn’t forget all the terrible things she’d done when Thea had first arrived in Faerie. It was hard to forgive someone who’d caused her so much pain, but she tried to do so not only for Iris, but for herself. She was running short on blood relatives.
Thea repeated what she’d told the others, watching the concern grow on Amara’s face.
“How do you know this isn’t another trap? It wouldn’t be the first false vision Morrigan has given.”
The truth was that Thea didn’t know. Morrigan had threatened to lock Thea up, but trapping her in the prison world just didn’t seem like the way she’d do it. Actually, after her last conversation with Morrigan, Thea wondered if the Goddess wasn’t hoping for an alliance more than she let on. Her gut told her this vision wasn’t a trap, but how could she explain that to Amara, who was looking at her like she’d completely lost her mind?
This was why she needed to find Ainé so that the Goddess could tell her all of her doubts were unnecessary. Morrigan was the Goddess of Death, and she was obviously just messing with Thea’s head. The last thing she’d want was for Thea to go to Ainé, so that was what she needed to do. Things could go wrong, and Thea could get stuck in the prison world. There was also the small detail of opening the portal with dark magic, which Thea could succumb to easily. But what choice did she have? If there was a chance Ainé wasn’t dead, she owed it to all of them to take it. They wouldn’t survive a war with Morrigan alone.
A loud
crash came from beyond the closed door before Thea could voice any of these thoughts to Amara. Numerous angry screams followed it. Thea didn’t hesitate to jump up from her bed and head for the door. Thankfully, whoever had been taking care of her had dressed her in a semi-modest gown because she rushed barefoot through the door without a second thought.
The corridor beyond her room held a scene that made Thea’s blood boil. Kieran and Declan faced off with each other, hands pulled up into fists. Thea was thankful to see Kieran’s sword remained sheathed at his side, but fresh blood and bruises already decorated both of their faces. Blood trickled from Kieran’s crooked nose, and Declan’s lip was split and swollen. The skin around his eyes was also beginning to look like a ripe plum.
“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Thea growled with disbelief, but neither of them even flinched. To Thea’s disappointment, Haven stood off to the side of the corridor looking amused, while Mica looked torn about whose side he should take. Ethel, who Thea was sure would be no help, stood with a hand covering her mouth, eyes wide with shock.
“Wow,” Amara breathed out from behind Thea. She didn’t dare look away from the fight, but could feel Amara’s infuriating smile through the single word.
Declan lunged at Kieran again, shoulders heaving up and down in angry breaths, but Kieran’s mouth just tugged up at the corners into a vicious smirk that snapped Thea out of her furious shock.
Her hands flew up, palms out. A gust of air hit the two boys, sending them flying in opposite directions down the corridor. Thea swayed on her feet. She’d been practicing her magic a lot over the past six months, but whatever had happened that night with Ainé had drained her. Even the simplest magic made her vision blur, but she’d at least gotten their attention.
“I said, what the hell is wrong with you two?” Thea repeated, placing her shaking hands on her hips as all eyes drifted her way. Both Kieran and Declan’s mouths set into stubborn lines that infuriated her further, but Haven cleared her throat, stepping away from her place against the wall.
“Kieran didn’t like that Declan wouldn’t let him inside to see you,” she said, looking disappointed that the fight was over.
Thea wanted to yell at her for not stopping them sooner, but she didn’t have the energy to be angry with everyone and thought Declan and Kieran deserved it more anyway.
“So you decided to just start punching each other like uncivilized…” She shut her mouth and blinked slowly, taking a deep breath to fill her aching lungs before she spoke again. “I don’t have time for this. We don’t have time for this.”
Although Kieran’s nose was clearly broken, Declan looked as if he’d taken the worst beating. Thea imagined he’d probably gotten one good punch in before Kieran reacted. She controlled the urge to keep screaming at them for being idiots.
“I need to speak with Kieran alone,” Thea said, eyeing Declan. He looked as if she’d just slapped him, but she couldn’t feel sorry about it. Even if she appreciated his wanting to look out for her by not allowing Kieran into the room, it hadn’t been his choice to make, and it hadn’t needed violence—no matter who started the fight.
The look of surprise morphed into hurt across Declan’s face, but Thea tried to not let herself feel guilt. This was about more than taking sides or hurt feelings. It was about finding Ainé, which Thea believed she needed Kieran for. She also felt the need to yell at him in private for beating Declan up in a clearly unfair fight.
“Haven, will you please help Declan with his injuries?” Thea asked, noticing the blood beginning to pool from his split lip.
“Not necessary.” Declan’s sharpened tone sent a biting chill down Thea’s spine. “I’m leaving.”
“Please don’t.” Thea took a step toward him, ignoring the way Kieran tensed at her movement, and met Declan’s eyes. “You said that I seem like I needed a friend. Well, you’re right. I need a friend.
“I need all the help I can get from people I can trust. And I think—I think I can trust you. So please stay.”
A flicker of emotion crossed Declan’s face, but he masked it well beneath the look of desire to be anywhere but there. He spun on his feet and headed down the corridor, mumbling, “Come on, Haven.”
Thea felt guilty for how Kieran had treated Declan, but more than that, she felt guilty for how she had treated him. Even after her reaction that night, he’d wanted to fight Kieran rather than letting him into the room with Thea—that counted for something in her book, although she didn’t really know what.
It was unclear whether Declan would be there when she returned. She wouldn’t blame him if he left, but she hoped he’d meant what he’d said about being friends as she watched him and Haven disappear around the corner.
After a moment, she turned to meet Iris’ eyes in silent communication, and then stalked back into the room without another glance at Kieran. Something inside her knew he would follow. Thea didn’t need to tell him twice when something was important, and in this case, she didn’t even need to tell him once. It was written all over her face.
Chapter 18
“Thea—” Kieran said as the door shut behind them, but Thea spun around to meet his gaze with narrowed eyes.
“No. I get to speak, and you get to listen. Understood?” She felt tired. No, she felt exhausted, but there was no time to let those feelings take over her now. There was only time to tell him what she needed to and then get out of this claustrophobic room.
She watched as his mouth snapped shut, lips pursing into a straight line in silence. He nodded.
“Good. First, I didn’t try to kill myself, so wipe that pitiful look off your face and stop feeling guilty.” It surprised Thea that her tone remained steady, but she was channeling her inner Haven to get through this conversation. Emotions that Thea didn’t want to see flashed across Kieran’s face, but she forced herself to continue to look at him through his regret. He was vulnerable, and despite her anger with him, that struck a nerve inside her. “When I was in the tub, I heard something, and then as I sank lower into the water, I felt her. I felt Ainé. She was reaching out to me, trying to ask for help, when Haven pulled me out of the water. I wasn’t able to get any answers, but I know something is wrong with the Goddess, Kieran. She needs our help.”
This got his attention. The moment of relief she’d seen flicker across his features was masked behind the formality of a soldier. In a single breath, his shoulders straightened, and despite his crooked, bleeding nose, a familiarity drew her back to him. Thea wanted to step closer. She wanted to comfort him through the physical pain he was experiencing, or at least hand him a towel to stop the bleeding, but she could do none of that.
The thing that no one seemed to understand was that Thea didn’t need to kill herself because of Kieran. The way he’d locked her out of his life was already killing her inside.
“What’s your plan?” Kieran asked, oblivious to the numbness she was trying to conjure around herself. For the past few months, she’d had a shield of protection every time she felt like she couldn’t handle the pain by succumbing to feeling nothing at all, to sinking into the darkness of herself just to continue living. Thea didn’t know if it was good for her to do, but it was the only way she’d survived this long.
“Iris knows how I can get to Ainé, but it could be a trap. Morrigan already tricked me once, and I don’t plan to go unprepared this time. That’s why I need you to go with me—and Haven.”
She’d added Haven to the plan, fearing that he might see how much she wanted him to be a part of this journey. Despite his cruel words before, the Kieran she’d fallen in love with stood in front of her now, ready to do anything for his home. She’d missed the passion in his eyes, the sheer determination to make things right. If that passion was still in there, maybe a trip like this would do them some good.
“Why not Declan?” he asked, his voice lowering at least an octave, but Thea rolled her eyes in response.
“You gave up your right to be jealous when you wr
ote me that letter, but for your information, I need soldiers at my side. Declan is not a soldier, but you and Haven are.”
Kieran picked up a cloth from one of the medical tables in the room and pressed it to his bleeding face. With a loud crack that made Thea cringe, he reset his nose without even a wince.
“Does that mean there is a reason for me to be jealous?” he asked, making Thea want to storm out of the room. Whatever look was on her face must have made him reconsider his question though, because he said, “Okay, fine. How do you know we can trust Haven?”
Thea tried not to acknowledge the way her heart skipped when he said “we” and replied, “I trust her, so I guess you will just have to trust me if you want to come.”
She’d been devising a plan in her head since Iris had told her there was a way to open the portal again, but she hadn’t told Kieran about the dark magic yet. Part of her wondered if he’d care that she needed to use it, but another part didn’t want to know if he cared. She couldn’t put it off forever, though. He needed to know if they were going to succeed, and they couldn’t afford to fail.
“Fine, so how does Iris say we open the portal?” he asked, and his wings stretched out a little to his sides.
“We do nothing. I will open the portal.” Her wings rose above her shoulders as she narrowed her eyes on him. She hoped the effect would make her look taller. “Then, once it’s open, the three of us will go through the portal to find Ainé while Declan stands guard with Amara. I don’t want Ethel or Mica anywhere near this one, just in case it’s a trap, and I can’t risk Iris getting hurt, because then Ethel will have no one left.”
“So, if something goes wrong inside the portal, Declan and Amara will get help. That sounds like a solid plan.” He sounded impressed, but Thea wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. “However, it doesn’t answer my question about how you’re going to open the portal.”
