by Skye Horn
“Fine,” she said, setting her chin, but she felt Declan tense beside her.
He leaned down, pressing his lips against her hair as if in a kiss, but whispered, “That’s in four days, Thea.”
Her breath caught and she struggled to pull air back into her burning lungs, but the conversation continued without notice.
“Excellent! I’m sure we can inform Gimmerwich in time to invite them to our Midsummer celebrations. I’ll send a messenger immediately!” Lord Walshe continued before anyone could say anything else, but Thea’s entire body started trembling. Her heart raced at the words Declan had whispered in her ear, and he pushed his palm against her forearm, trying to hide her reaction from the others.
Four days… They wanted her to get married in four days??
“Surely, you don’t expect us to throw a proper wedding and coronation in such a short amount of time, Lord Walshe,” Iris said, and although her voice sounded amused by such an extravagant idea, Thea saw a flash of panic in her eyes.
“Nonsense. Ivandor has been without a royal couple for too long,” Lord Walshe boomed. “It will thrill the village. We can announce the festivities in the morning!”
“Well, it has been fifteen years since we’ve had any celebration like this—perhaps it would be good for the kingdom,” Lord Byrne said, glancing around at the others. No one bothered to ask Thea what her opinion was again. She had already agreed before realizing the extent of her words—something she was sure Lord Walshe had been counting on. Declan’s face had gone ghostly pale beside her, and Iris pursed her lips into a straight line.
Thea thought she might be sick.
“So,” she said, trying to steady her voice. “You wish for us to marry in four days, and for my coronation to happen in four days…”
“We will do all the work, Princess, don’t worry!” Lord Thompson said, mistaking her nervousness for that of a nervous bride. “All you have to do is show up.”
“Oh, that’s all,” Thea mumbled, earning a smirk from Lord Walshe, who seemed to believe he’d averted whatever plan he thought Thea had.
Fine, she thought. I’ll agree to these absurd terms and we will get Ainé out of that prison before anyone can say “I do.”
She looked toward Iris pleadingly, hoping her friend would help her out of this situation, but Iris looked just as clueless as to what to say. There was no backing out now, Thea thought, so she plastered a smile onto her face and met the gaze of Lord Walshe.
“I guess that ends our meeting, then.” She rose from her chair.
“Wait! Was it Derek or Jami?” Lord Brennan asked, looking eager. It amazed Thea how oblivious these men were to her ability to make her own decisions, but Declan and Iris watched her with worried gazes.
Thea’s eyes narrowed as she stared around the room at them.
“Neither, although I am requesting they both be assigned to my Guard. The lead of my Guard goes by the name of Haven, and you will meet her soon.”
She grabbed Declan’s hand a little too hard and pulled him through the stunned faces of her council.
“Her?” Lord Byrne asked, but Thea only smiled innocently.
“Yes, her. I have now chosen four guards and will allow you to pick the final two. I’m going to show our future king our kingdom.”
With that, she hurried out the door, throwing a glance at Iris along the way, hoping she would follow.
When they reached the corridor, Kieran and Haven immediately asked how it went, but both Thea and Declan shook their heads.
“Not here,” Thea said.
“Thea—” Iris was making her way out of the throne room, looking terrified.
“Please tell me you figured out how to open that portal,” Thea said, looping her other arm through Iris’ and dragging her down the hallway.
“I did, but—”
“Not here,” Thea repeated, looking around. “Let’s get to my room.”
“Thea, you need to listen to me.” Iris pulled her to a stop, nearly knocking her to the ground.
“Iris, I think Thea’s right; we should get somewhere more secure,” Kieran said.
Iris ignored Kieran, looking only at Thea. “The ritual needs to be performed during a period of great magic. Like the Winter Solstice.”
“Well, that’s not a problem,” Amara said, watching her mother. “There are at least eight of them a year, and we are—”
“The Summer Solstice…” Thea said, feeling her heart drop into the pit her stomach. She would definitely be sick.
“Yes, exactly!” Amara smiled, not understanding. Declan cursed beneath his breath, looking between Thea and Iris.
“There has to be another way,” he said, panic rising in his voice.
“I tried to stop you, Thea…” Iris said, but Thea was moments away from a magical explosion. It burned through her veins, boiling her blood. “Why did you agree?”
Thea ripped herself away from both Iris and Declan, laughing as angry tears poured from her eyes.
“Did you really try, Iris? Or did you decide this is best for the kingdom, just like them?”
“Thea—” Kieran voice dropped into a low warning, but Thea ignored him, glaring at Iris as every bit of her instability focused on the one council member she’d trusted.
“Tell him what you’ve just let me do, Iris. Tell him how you didn’t stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life.”
Declan flinched beside her, but she didn’t care. Maybe it wasn’t fair to be angry at Iris, but if she wasn’t, then she’d have to be angry at herself—and she didn’t know if she could handle any more self-loathing.
“Thea, we will figure something out…” Declan murmured, but Kieran had stepped toward them now. The tears in Thea’s eyes were uncontrollable, blurring her vision. Her stomach twisted into tight knots, threatening to expel whatever bit of food was left from the day.
“Tell him, Iris,” she demanded and watched as Iris met Kieran’s eyes with a look like someone had punched her. That wasn’t fair, thought. Thea thought she was the one who deserved to look like that, not Iris.
“Thea and Declan are to be married during the Midsummer Festival…”
“And last I checked, I can’t be in two places at once.” Thea turned and stormed down the corridor, not daring to look back at any of the people behind her.
She didn’t want to see Kieran, to whom she’d made a promise she could no longer keep, or Declan, whom she was now four days away from marrying. She didn’t want Haven to console her, and if she stayed near Iris, she’d lose control.
All Thea could do was force herself to breathe and head for the gardens to talk to Faylon.
When Kieran found Thea in the gardens later that night her eyes were bloodshot, but dry. It had been hours since her meeting with the High Council, but they had all agreed giving her space was necessary while they tried to find a way out of this wedding ceremony. Kieran had remained silent during most of the discussion, watching Declan and Iris bicker about ways they could or could not convince the High Council to postpone the wedding.
“She won’t survive this,” Declan had exclaimed at one point, and Kieran saw the concern on his face. He cared about Thea more than Kieran believed even Thea understood. Iris had looked to Kieran then, maybe thinking that he also wouldn’t survive it, but no one said anything.
Because they could say nothing.
If the High Council was demanding Thea get married during the Midsummer Festival, then she had no choice. Thea needed to become queen, and if they were offering her the coronation they had denied her for months, Kieran could not stand in the way of that. Plus, if she refused to marry Declan after blatantly telling the Council she would, it would raise suspicions about her true intentions. The kingdom couldn’t wait any longer; it needed a ruler now.
“Kieran,” Amara said, watching his expression darken as his thoughts did.
“Don’t.”
He’d left them to make pointless plans alone after that, needing to clea
r his head in the skies. And then he’d flown until his wings could no longer hold him airborne, letting the night sky swallow him into its abyss. Eventually, though, fate brought him back to Thea. She hadn’t told him where she’d be, and yet, he knew.
He swooped down to land beside the stone bench she sat on, noticing the plot of dead flowers her eyes focused on.
“No one took care of him while I was gone,” she said, making Kieran tilt his head. He heard the crack of her voice from the hours of crying she’d likely endured alone and felt a pang of guilt for not coming to her sooner.
“Whom?” Kieran asked, sitting beside her on the bench. She didn’t look up.
“Faylon.” She waved her hand at the bed of dead primrose, and Kieran frowned in confusion. “We buried him here after...af-after…” She broke into guttural sobs, burying her head in her hands, and Kieran draped his arm around her slowly.
Kieran realized they had not spoken about Faylon—Thea’s familiar who’d sacrificed his own life to make sure Thea didn’t lose Kieran. Part of him hated the Unicorn for the second chance he had given him, because all he’d done was waste it. Kieran had left Thea soon after, unable to face the guilt of everything that had happened. And yet, here they were. Months had passed but his feelings for her had not changed, nor would they ever. But Faylon was gone and Thea was falling to pieces.
He should have been able to fix it, but he couldn’t even fix himself.
“I’m sorry, Thea,” he said, not knowing how else to respond. He kissed the top of her head, letting her cry against him until her trembling slowed and her breathing steadied. He wanted to cry too, but blinked back the tears.
“What am I supposed to do?” she asked, looking up at him.
Kieran ran his thumb across her damp cheeks, clearing away the tears, but he didn’t know the answer to her question. He wanted to take her in his arms and run, but if they ran away now, who would stop Morrigan from taking over Faerie? Who would protect people like Ethel from what would inevitably come?
So, instead of running, he lifted her chin with the tip of his finger, staring into the gray eyes he’d dreamt of for fifteen years. He wanted to take away every bit of pain he saw in them now, but he couldn’t. All he could do was comfort her until the moment she decided what to do.
“I love you, Thea,” he said, never taking his eyes off hers. He would never make the mistake of letting her believe that wasn’t true again, even if they could not be together—even if she married another man. He would always love her with every piece of himself. “You are the bravest woman I have ever met, willing to take on the impossible to protect the people you love.”
Kieran could no longer hold back his own tears. For so long, he’d seen the little girl who clung to him in her sleep as he rode into the night with her. Even when he’d brought her home to Faerie, Kieran had thought he needed to protect her, but he’d been wrong, because she wasn’t that little girl anymore—especially now. Now, the woman who stared up at him was stronger, even as she broke to pieces. Part of him wished he’d seen the woman she’d become sooner, wished he had appreciated her more. He understood her tears came not only from the pain of what was being asked of her, but from the pain of what she already knew she needed to do, so he said it again.
“I will love you in this life and the next, Thea.” He cradled her chin in the palm of his hand, pressing his lips against hers, and pulled her into his lap as their wings folded naturally over each other. He tasted the salt of their mixed tears against the sweetness of her breath. All he had ever wanted was her, and yet, she had never been so far away.
Her lips pressed back against his, but she whispered “I love you” into the kiss between breaths, causing his heart to constrict with each passing word. There was heartbreak, and then there was the eternity of loneliness that stretched out in front of him. A world without her was not a world worth living, but could he watch her be with someone else?
Kieran drowned in the kiss, letting himself cry until they pulled back in a simultaneous search for breath, pressing their foreheads together. He intertwined his hands with hers, clinging to the moment he wished would never end, and said, “You’re going to marry Declan.”
It wasn’t a question or an accusation. Instead, the words were a release of the inevitable.
“I can’t,” Thea sobbed, but Kieran lifted her chin once more, kissing the tip of her nose as he did with a tearful smile.
“Yes, you can,” he said. “And I think you know he’ll make you happy.”
This admittance made the muscles in Kieran’s chest tighten until he could hardly breathe. He’d seen the way Declan and Thea interacted. He knew Declan could make Thea happy. It wouldn’t be the same as their relationship, but that didn’t mean it had to be bad.
“I want to be with you, Kieran,” Thea whimpered. “I promised I wouldn’t marry him.”
“I release you from that promise, and I’ll make you a new one.” He brushed the hair away from her face, letting his fingers linger against her skin. “I promise to remain by your side until my last breath.”
“Kieran—” Thea said, but he shook his head. He knew what it meant, and the agony he was committing himself to endure terrified him, but living without her was not an option.
“I told you, Thea. I will love you in this life and the next, but tonight—just let me hold you until the sun comes up.”
Chapter 28
Thea awoke to the warmth of the sun on her skin in the gardens, wrapped in Kieran’s protective embrace. They were leaning against the stone bench uncomfortably, but she didn’t dare move, registering the slow rise and fall of his chest. Their night in the garden had been one of the longest nights of Thea’s life, and yet, morning had come too soon. Most of their time had been spent in silence, listening to each other breathe as they stared up at the stars lost in their own thoughts. They had both cried without shame, allowing themselves to feel the extent of the heartbreak they would endure, but no matter how much they wanted the night to never end, tomorrow had come, bringing them one day closer to Thea’s wedding.
I promise to remain by your side until my last breath.
How could Kieran make such grand promises? Did he not understand the torture it would cause them both to remain in each other’s lives without actually being together? While she married another man? Even the idea of it made Thea want to scream, but could she really live without him? It wouldn’t be living at all.
“Good morning,” Kieran said, without opening his eyes.
“You’re awake?” Thea asked, shifting into a more comfortable position against him. Her wings ached from sleeping on the ground, but she was happy that no one had disturbed them all night. It was rare that anyone but herself visited these parts of the gardens.
“Unfortunately,” he replied, finally blinking his eyes open to look at her. In the sunlight Thea could see the red tint along his bottom lids. She wanted to lean up and kiss each of his eyelids to erase the prior night’s tears, but without the cover of darkness she felt far more vulnerable.
“Do we have to leave?” Thea asked, hopeful that he would tell her there was still a chance to run away from this entire situation—even though she knew there wasn’t.
“Not until you’re ready, Thea.” He pulled her closer, wrapping his strong arms around her petite body with ease. She wanted to stay in those arms forever, but forever was never as long as she hoped.
“You two look cozy,” called a voice from above. Haven landed beside them a moment later, but Kieran didn’t move away. “Ethel thought you might be here.”
Thea noticed the concern clouding Haven’s face, but tried not to let herself fall to pieces again. She and Kieran had done enough of that last night.
“I just needed some space,” Thea confessed.
“I see that,” Haven smirked, eyeing Kieran. “The council is looking for you. Lord Timmy or Thomas or whatever his name was came to your bedroom this morning.”
“Lord Thompson?” Thea asked
, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “What did you tell him? And you slept in my bedroom?”
“You have the comfiest bed in the castle,” Haven shrugged but failed to hide her guilty smile. “And he said something about a crest. I don’t know, I was half asleep and told him you were out with Declan—who at that time was hiding behind the door.”
“Declan slept in my room too?” Thea gaped. The thought of Haven and Declan fighting over space on her bed would have almost been amusing had the situation they were all in not been so depressing.
“Well, you didn’t exactly stick around to tell us where to sleep,” Haven retorted with a toss of her blond hair. “Anyway, Lord Thompson said it was important for your coronation.”
“They’re going to give you the mark of Ivandor,” Kieran said, looking between Thea and Haven. Then, he pointed to his chest where the tattoo of her family’s crest was.
“I have to get a tattoo?” Thea bit her lip. Although both of her adoptive parents had had tattoos, Thea had never really considered getting one herself. There had never been anything she was passionate enough about to get permanently etched into her skin. She wondered if it would hurt worse than growing wings out of her back.
“Awesome!” Haven grinned at Thea. “You should get it on your forehead!”
Thea fought the urge to tackle her friend for even suggesting the idea, but Kieran thankfully spoke before she could decide if the attack would be worth leaving the warmth of his embrace.
“You’ll have to get one too,” he explained, looking at Haven. “Since you’re on the Queen’s Guard.”
Both girls shared a look of apprehension, but Kieran just laughed and said, “It’s not that bad.”
Thea didn’t want to leave his arms, but he pulled her up, stretching his wings and limbs from their uncomfortable night on the ground. Thankfully, he didn’t let go of her hand, giving it a small squeeze as he met her eyes. She remembered everything he’d told her the night before: about loving her, about her being happy with Declan, and about his promise. But how could she ask him to stay when she was supposed to marry someone else? And how could she marry someone else when all she wanted was him? It hurt to even think about, but with only three days left until the Midsummer Festival, there was no time to think.
