by I. T. Lucas
Still, she somehow managed to maintain it almost to the very end. But when Victor bit into her and she was flooded with euphoria, there was no way she could hold on to it and she let it go.
Long moments passed until Bridget regained enough control to recast the shroud. Behind her, Victor was breathing heavily, his shaft still twitching inside her.
She chuckled. “Are you ready for round number two?”
“You know me. I’m always happy to rise to the challenge.” He nuzzled her neck.
13
Ella
“I’m so glad that you’ve decided to come to talk to me.” Vanessa smiled and pointed to one of the two armchairs in her office, then sat in the other.
This time there was no desk between them, only a small side table with a box of tissue and a couple of water bottles on top of it.
Made sense. A lot of crying must go on in the therapist’s office, and from experience Ella knew that confessions tended to dry out the throat.
Shifting in the wide armchair, she crossed one leg over the other. “To be frank, there are two reasons I’m here. One is that I promised Julian I’d talk to you, and the other one is the affinity thing that I want you to explain to me. Julian said something about immortals and Dormants feeling affinity for each other.”
Vanessa nodded. “Amanda believes that, and there might be something to it, but we didn’t have a large enough sample to test this hypothesis. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s a good method for identifying Dormants. People feel an affinity for each other for a variety of reasons, and it’s next to impossible to isolate one particular cause.”
That wasn’t what Ella wanted to hear. It sounded wishy-washy. “My mother says that she felt an immediate affinity for Magnus, but then he is a hunk, so it might have been infatuation and not affinity. But she also says that she feels at home in the village like she never felt anywhere else.”
“What about you, Ella?”
“You mean if I feel at home here?”
Vanessa nodded.
“I do. But I didn’t feel like I didn’t belong in my old life.” She waved a hand. “Naturally, there was some teenage angst, and this face made me feel different.” She pointed. “But that was because people always stared at me. It wasn’t like that with my friends, though, or even my classmates. After they got used to me, they kind of forgot about my looks and treated me like everyone else.”
That wasn’t entirely true. Ella remembered feeling like an alien from time to time, but talking with Maddie and her other friends, she’d realized that it was like that for almost everyone. They’d all been trying to find their place in the world.
“What about Julian? Did you feel an immediate affinity toward him? I understand that you guys are dating.”
That was a mild way to put it, and Ella appreciated the therapist not jumping on that whole fated one and only wagon.
On the one hand, the promise of undying love and unbreakable commitment was alluring and hard to resist. But on the other hand there was too much pressure attached to that. Maybe that was something Vanessa could help her with.
“Julian is an amazing guy and so easy to love, but I still have trouble believing in the fated true-love mate thing. Any girl would have fallen for him, so it’s not a big surprise that I did. But how do I know the difference between just loving him because he’s great and accepting that he is my destined mate? Would I know for sure if I were an immortal?”
“Not really. Again, we don’t have enough couples to base a theory on, and none of them came to talk to me, but from what I’ve heard, everyone had doubts at one point or another.”
Letting out an exasperated breath, Ella slumped in the armchair. Expecting answers from Vanessa had been an act of pure optimism. Just like any other shrink, she had none to give, and only posed more questions.
“Eventually they know, though, right?”
“It would seem so.”
“I have another question for you. Is it possible to confuse that affinity thing with sexual attraction?”
“What exactly are you asking?”
Ella rolled her eyes. “Let’s say that an immortal guy meets a dormant girl and he feels an affinity for her but thinks that it’s attraction, and vice versa. A dormant girl meets an immortal guy, feels an affinity, and mistakenly thinks that she’s attracted to him.”
“I think that affinity can reinforce attraction, but I don’t think it can cause it or be mistaken for it. I might feel an affinity toward a dormant woman, but since I’m heterosexual it will not translate into desire. If I meet a dormant guy, without knowing what he is, I might or might not feel attracted to him. Other factors need to be present too.”
“Like what?”
Vanessa smiled. “The obvious ones. We are each drawn to a particular type. And then there are pheromones, which may be a factor too, not a very significant one and not well understood yet, but we know they exist.”
That was interesting. Ella didn’t know much about pheromones, but since immortals had heightened senses, perhaps they were more sensitive to their effects than humans?
Running her fingers through her hair, Ella debated whether she should bring it up. Someone must have researched it or at least considered it.
Eh, what the heck. The worst that could happen was Vanessa smiling at her indulgently and explaining why it was total nonsense. Ella was not a scientist and therefore was allowed laypersons’ stupid questions.
Not a big deal.
“What if the affinity immortals feel for Dormants is caused by pheromones? Immortal senses are sharper in every other way, so why not that?” When Vanessa didn’t immediately dismiss it, Ella continued. “And the same can be true for the destined mates thing.”
“There might be a connection. Testing in humans produced no definite results, but we haven’t tested immortals. Except, it could explain why immortals feel affinity toward Dormants, but not the other way around.”
Well, that was it for her theory. It had been worth a shot, though.
“That might explain why Julian is so sure that I’m his true-love mate, while I’m not. But on the other hand, he fell for my picture. We can’t blame pheromones for that.”
Damn, it was all so confusing. Like a puzzle made up of mismatched pieces.
Vanessa leaned back and sighed. “We are complicated creatures, Ella. It’s impossible to reduce everything to hormones and pheromones, although some scientists love to do that. Many factors are at play. Julian might have been infatuated with your pretty face in the picture, but until he met you in person he couldn’t have been sure that you’re the one. It takes time, and with immortals it also takes sex.”
That was an odd thing for a therapist to say. “Sex helps determine true-love, since when?”
“Immortals, when they are exclusive with each other, form an addiction. When bitten enough times by the same male, the female becomes addicted to him and repulsed by other males. Eventually, her scent changes in a way that affects the male in the same way. Even if they were originally not each other's true-love mates, they become that.”
No one had told her that.
Did her mother know?
“That’s one hell of a pill to swallow, and not as romantic as Julian made it sound. Addiction is not love.”
Vanessa smiled exactly like Ella had imagined she would, with the indulgent expression reserved for the lay and the stupid.
“No, addiction is not love. But in our case love comes first. Immortals, like their godly ancestors, are lustful and promiscuous by nature. If they don’t feel a special connection to their mate, they are not going to be faithful. As long as the female gets bitten by more than one immortal, the mixture of venoms will prevent her from getting addicted to just one, and her scent is not going to change, meaning that none of the males will become addicted to her either.”
Ella groaned. “I think I feel a headache coming on. This is all so complicated. How come no one has told me about the addiction?”
> “It’s not well known and certainly not something that we discuss over coffee. Most of us don’t have mates or even a prospect of one, so it’s not an issue. Why does it bother you, though? Isn’t fidelity something you would want from your mate?”
“Of course. But not because he is forced into it. I want it to be his choice, in the same way that I want it to be mine. Faithfulness is much more meaningful when it’s observed despite outside temptations, and not because of their absence, especially when that absence is chemically induced. Talk about Stepford Wives.”
Sighing, Vanessa leaned forward. “Give it some thought, and I’m sure you’ll see the beauty of it. For most the addiction takes months to set in. If it’s not the real thing, you’ll have plenty of time to walk away and seek another partner.”
“But I don’t want another partner.”
“We will talk about it in our next session.” She smiled. “Perhaps we will actually get to discuss your experience. As I said before, I was very impressed by what you said in the recording. I think it was a breakthrough for you. But since I have another session scheduled right after yours, we will have to address this in our next one. How about tomorrow?”
“Same time?”
“Works for me.”
Ella hesitated. “I know that you’re busy, and there are girls here who need your help much more than I do. I hate taking up so much of your time.”
And she wasn’t even using that as an excuse.
“I’m not the only therapist here. We have plenty of volunteers who the other girls can go to. You, on the other hand, can talk only to me.”
“That’s true.”
14
Julian
“Here is your swipe card.” Julian handed it to Yamanu.
“Did anything get stolen?” the Guardian said as he regarded the new security measures at the construction site. “That’s one hell of a fence.”
Turner had recommended a site management service that provided tall fences that were wired to an alarm company. It was pricey, but with the proceeds from the ring, Julian no longer needed to count the pennies.
“Come inside, and I’ll show you. Squatters used one of the bedrooms upstairs, and we need to get rid of everything in there.”
Since Yamanu hadn’t been there on Friday or Monday, he hadn’t seen the fence getting installed or heard the story.
“That’s strange.” The Guardian followed Julian upstairs. “The building stood empty for months, and no one trashed the place.”
“Yeah, well. They did now.”
Grimacing, Yamanu pinched his nose even before Julian opened the door. “I can’t believe they stunk up the place so bad in one weekend. Did they piss on the floor?”
“Possibly. They were a couple of nasty druggies.”
As they hauled the bed out of the room, Julian told the Guardian a shortened version of what had happened, omitting most of the drama.
“I’m so proud of you, kid. If I weren’t carrying furniture, I would give you a good slap on the back. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember you attending any of the self-defense classes. How did you know what to do? Did you train elsewhere?”
Julian shook his head. “I let instinct take over. The beast knew what to do.” He grimaced at the memory.
The thing was, he couldn’t recall any actual thoughts, just the fury that had consumed him when those druggies threatened Ella. It had incinerated every civilized part of him and called up the inner caveman he hadn’t even known was living inside him.
Grinning from ear to ear, Yamanu tossed the bed on top of the pile of construction debris outside. “Come here, my boy.” He pulled Julian into a bro embrace, knocking the hell out of him as he slapped his back. “The beast is your friend. Embrace him.”
When they were back in the room and away from human ears, Yamanu leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “What did you do with the bodies?”
“I didn’t kill them, only knocked them out. Ella wouldn’t let me finish the job. I called Turner and he handled the cleanup. Those two are going to spend a lot of time in jail.”
Looking disappointed, the Guardian nodded. “How much of the stuff did they have here?”
“Not enough to put them away for such a long time. I have a feeling Turner arranged for more to be delivered.” Julian lifted the desk. “Grab the other end. We don’t want the humans to start wondering.”
“Sure thing.”
As they took it out of the room and started down the stairs, Julian’s phone rang in his back pocket.
“Damn, that’s Ella.”
Yamanu chuckled. “No kidding. With that ringtone, I didn’t think it was your mother. Go ahead and answer it. I’ll take the desk downstairs by myself. The guys think I’m a freak anyway.”
The snippet from My Girl had seemed like a cool idea when he’d assigned it to Ella’s contact, but maybe it wasn’t. It was too obvious.
“Hi, sweetheart. How did it go with Vanessa?”
“Great. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Ella had said great about talking with a shrink? Something wasn’t right.
Taking the steps two at a time, he went into one of the rooms upstairs and closed the door behind him. “Okay. I’m alone now. Shoot.” He leaned against the wall.
“So, we started talking, and one thing led to another, and then Vanessa said something about pheromones influencing who we are attracted to.”
As a therapist, Vanessa wasn’t as well acquainted with human physiology as a medical doctor.
“Studies show that humans emit very little, and that their pheromones have no measurable influence on arousal.”
“Yeah, Vanessa said that not much is known about pheromones. Did anyone test immortals for it?”
“Maybe, but if it was done no one has told me.”
He heard her huff. “I can’t believe that I’m the first one to think of it. What if immortals emit more pheromones than humans or more powerful ones? What if your enhanced senses pick up on some Dormant-specific pheromones, and that is what you interpret as affinity? I know from Vanessa that affinity can also be felt without sexual attraction attached to it, but I went on the internet and read that pheromones are not only for sex. Animals use them to communicate many other things. That could also explain the alarm immortal males feel when they meet a new one of their kind. You guys probably emit warning pheromones, and after you get used to them you don’t sense them anymore. That’s why immortal males don’t feel alarm around male friends and relatives.”
Ella sounded so excited, and what she’d said made a lot of sense, but he didn’t think Amanda could have overlooked something as obvious as this. She’d probably investigated it and had realized it didn’t work this way.
He felt bad about bursting her bubble. “I’m sure Amanda checked this out. Searching for Dormants is her thing.”
“What about your mother? She said that before heading the rescue operations, she researched immortal genetics.”
“She didn’t find anything useful.”
“Yeah, but did she investigate pheromones?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask her.”
“Please do. And one more thing. When were you going to tell me about the freaking addiction?”
Damn, it hadn’t even crossed his mind. “We are not doing anything. So, I didn’t think it was important to mention.”
“But we are going to at some point. Don’t you think I should have been given a warning?”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “When the time comes, sure. Frankly, I didn’t think about it at all. My mind wasn’t there yet.”
“Does my mother know? Is it too late for her?”
Why was she so upset about it? The addiction wasn’t a bad thing. It was just a side effect of the devotion between true-love mates.
“I don’t know whether she does or not, that’s between her and Magnus. And if she does, I’m sure she is not as upset about it as
you seem to be.”
Ella huffed again. “You want to tell me that it doesn't bother you to be ruled by some weird chemical reaction? Wouldn’t you rather be faithful out of love and devotion to your partner than something you have no control over?”
“What if love and devotion are also chemical reactions? Have you thought of that? What if free will is an illusion and everything we do is determined by our genes and hormones and the inherited structure of our brains?”
As a long moment of silence stretched over the cellular connection, Julian wondered whether Ella was mulling over what he’d said or just taking time to rein in her anger.
“Do you really believe that?” she asked.
Did he?
“Not entirely, although I should. There is enough evidence to demonstrate that. A brain injury can change a personality, Alzheimer's robs people of their personality, and some drugs alter perception. So, if I were a purely logical creature like Turner, I would probably say that yes, that’s all there is to us, and that nothing metaphysical or mysterious like a soul exists. But then I’m reminded of all the things that have no scientific explanation, like precognition and remote viewing.”
Ella chuckled. “Why go that far? What about quantum physics? Does that make any sense? Or string theory? If that’s real, I don’t know why people having souls can’t be.”
At least she didn’t sound angry anymore. “Does getting addicted to me really bother you that much? Because I have no problem being addicted to you for all eternity.”
“That’s so sweet and so creepy at the same time. I need to give it some thought. When are you getting home?”
“Six or six-thirty.”
“Can I see you?”
“Of course. I need you. I’m already addicted to you without any chemicals involved.”
“Oh, Julian, that’s so sweet of you to say. Even though you’re such a creepy geek sometimes, I love you so much.”
He laughed. “Love you back.”
