“Can you walk?” Levi asked.
Zane nodded. “I need to see her,” he said as Levi helped him towards the door.
“She’ll bring the things over in a min. I’ll take you to your room first,” Levi replied as he helped Zane over to the room across the suite. “I registered with my palm print first. You can register the Captain’s and yours later.”
“Thank you,” Zane said after Levi lowered him onto the bed.
“All of us, we have our own baggage.” Levi gripped Zane’s shoulder. “But we do not judge. You get me? We’re crew now. We’ll have each other’s back.”
Zane couldn’t answer with that lump in his throat, but he nodded gratefully.
Nirvana pulled Zane’s equipment and their bags into the room. “Thank you, Levi.”
He nodded and left the room.
Nirvana opened up the room’s access panel and programmed her palm print in. She was trying to sniff discreetly but Zane could hear the congestion in her nose, probably from crying earlier.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said just now. I’m sorry for making you cry,” Zane managed to choke out.
Nirvana slammed her fist into the wall and rushed towards him. To his surprise, she threw herself onto the bed and hugged him tight. “I’m not angry with you. I saw… I saw all those memories in your head… I didn’t mean to pry but…I’m sorry, I should have asked your permission first.” She hugged him tighter. “I hate your father.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me.” He stroked her arm.
“I’m not feeling sorry! I’m angry!” she raged through gritted teeth. “I want to beat him until he begs for mercy!” She sat up, pulled a piece of tissue from the nightstand and blew her nose. “This is not just about you now. I’m feeling very motivated to take him down! I am so mad! I don’t even care about Dein or Panderon! I just want to destroy him!”
The tightness in his chest was slowly suffused with warmth. It was a strange feeling, to be so angry, and yet in love. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen from Nirvana’s ponytail behind her ear.
She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her chest.
“I love you too,” she declared.
It stunned Zane speechless.
“I love you, Zanetos Hayashi.” She sniffed. “Don’t look so surprised. Our brains are linked now. You’ll know if I’m lying.”
Even without the MLink, Zane knew that Nirvana wasn’t someone who would say things like that if she didn’t mean them.
“I thought a lot about it while we were apart.” She looked at him intently with her emerald eyes sparkling with tears. “I love your brilliant mind, all your out of this world inventions. I love that you are compassionate even though you were brought up by a tyrant. I love how you refuse to bend to your father’s will even though he tortured you time and again. I love your loyalty to your mother.”
She broke their gaze and took in a deep breath. “I know that strange feeling when you felt angry with me, but you still love me. I felt it too the first time you confessed that you set me up for this whole thing with Dein. I was probably fighting my attraction to your way before I even knew it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, so…” She bit her lip and sighed. “I don’t know how to handle this.”
It was probably the drugs that was preventing his heart from racing, but he was feeling so overwhelmed that he couldn’t respond to her. He wanted to. He knew she had just poured her heart out to him and was feeling very uncomfortable about it but everything he wanted to say just hit a bottleneck at his mouth.
She looked back up at him again. “I don’t know how to go into this slowly. I’m either all in, or all out. I don’t know how to hold back how I feel until I’m sure we’re right for each other.” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to do that. Pushing through with the MLink even though I knew about your brain scans was my clumsy way of showing you that I’m with you all the way.
“It’s not rational I know,” she laughed nervously. “Actually, I haven’t done a single rational thing since I met you.”
He still couldn’t find the words to say but he pulled her into his arms and held her tight.
“Live strong for me, will you?” she asked. “If not for yourself, then for me.”
I will.
Chapter 35
“Asan’s in,” Levi reported when they met for breakfast the next morning. He had gone to pick up the message parcel earlier while Nirvana and Zane slept in. If all went well, the crew should be back in about six days.
Zane was grateful that Levi acted as if nothing had happened last night. They had a short discussion about the mission during breakfast. Levi told them about what the crew did after Dein released them and Zane spoke a little about his life on Chikara.
After breakfast, Levi decided to help Dawa out with Nirvana’s new ship while Nirvana and Zane went back to their room to work on their MLink connection. They had already gotten the telepathic communication part quite easily but still had to work on filtering their thoughts. It could get very noisy inside their heads. However, the most difficult part was what they needed for the mission—the ability for Zane to take control of Nirvana’s body so that he could tamper with the security software and hardware inside the stronghold.
It was challenging for Nirvana because it required complete surrender and made her feel vulnerable as hell. She had subconsciously pushed Zane out in panic every time she felt like she was losing her body.
“Is this what death feels like?” she asked, slumping onto the bed in exhaustion after an hour of trying. “I tried to hang on, but it’s terrifying. It’s like my soul had detached itself from my body.”
Zane bent over and pecked her on her lips before rolling over to lie beside her.
“No, death feels nothing like this,” he said with a strange note in his voice. “Death is just death. Complete black out. You won’t feel anything at all.”
Zane made himself relive the horrors of his fights at the arena with the condemned prisoners to show Nirvana how death felt. There was a snapping of his neck, a spear through his chest, having his face bashed in by a club and choking to death on his blood. It was all excruciating pain before complete unconsciousness, then feeling the pain again after being revived.
“Death is a relief. You won’t feel anything. If you feel awareness, you’re still alive,” he told Nirvana.
Zane felt a pain in his chest which he knew was not coming from him.
Nirvana’s gaze bored into him with a hardened look. “I want to kill your father so bad.”
“You’ll have to take a number,” he pointed out and reached over to pull her into his arms. “There were so many attempts on his life that he invested in an M.T.Tomb, but of course no one got as much mileage out of it as me.”
“You make it sound like you used it a lot.”
“I did. Lost count of the number of times. I used to get killed in the arena a lot until my eldest brother, Dominion, took pity on me and trained me up. I learned to kill fast and efficiently after that, so I stopped using it completely three years ago.”
“Who else has been in it?”
“All the Hayashis have been in it at least once.”
“Anyone else?”
“Some of higher-ranking officers.”
“So your father can’t really be killed.”
“We have to decapitate him and destroy his head completely. The machine can only repair body parts. If you have part of your hand missing, it can fill in the missing portions. If you are missing an entire hand without even bits of it for the machine to work on, then you won’t get the hand back.”
“Then I’ll make sure I have his head.”
“Believe me, I’ve fantasized about that for longer than you.”
“Let’s try to link again,” Nirvana said with a new determination. “I am feeling extremely motivated to destroy your father.”
“Maybe we can try sharing your body instead of a complete takeover,�
�� Zane suggested. “Dr Eklund mentioned it’s not advisable because we’ll start fighting for control but let’s try.”
She nodded, leaned back, and relaxed into the pillow. Then she opened up the channel to allow Zane to share her consciousness.
Zane closed his eyes and when Nirvana felt his presence, she got up and walked towards the datapad on the table. She sat down, back facing Zane, started it up and waited for him to take over her mind to enter the passcode.
Maybe I’ll try telling you what to do first, he suggested. He gave her instructions, and she tried to follow as much as possible. If worse comes to worst, they would just use this method, although it would be annoyingly tedious to program codes this way.
It got very strenuous after fifteen minutes. It was like wearing an ear piece that’s calling out the instructions, except sound was coming from inside the head. That defeated the purpose of implanting the MLink in the first place. She turned around and frowned at Zane, “I’m sitting here working and you’re lying on the bed. No fair.” She got up and went to join Zane in bed.
“It’s quite tiring for me too you know.” He laughed. “But I’m not complaining. At least I didn’t have to battle both mental and physical fatigue.” He laid out his arm for her to lie on and hugged her to him.
“I have a brilliant idea!” Nirvana suddenly sat up and looked at Zane with a mischievous glint in her eyes. She pulled off her clothes very quickly and laid back down.
“What…”
“Close your eyes and let’s try the link again,” she said excitedly.
This time, Nirvana ran her hands down her body slowly. Zane muttered a curse.
“Can I take my clothes off too?” he asked, but started to strip anyway.
She grinned at him, “I’m a genius.”
“I’ve never thought of you as any less.” He yanked off the last of his clothing and was about to climb on top of her when she pushed him away.
“No, no, let’s try the link first. Take over and do whatever you want to my body.”
He closed his eyes and entered Nirvana’s mind. He tried fondling her nipples and massaging her breasts. It was surreal. He could feel all the sensations she was feeling like they were his own.
Feeling excited, he moved her hands down to her folds and felt around.
“Oh, wow,” he rasped out as he felt a tingling sensation run down her spine. It felt so strange that he was talking but her voice came out instead. She was definitely turned on, judging from the amount of moisture on her fingers.
He found the firm little nub he knew was supposed to titillate her but feeling it through her body was a whole new sensation.
We did it! Nirvana squealed in his head. We just have to remember how it feels.
Can you feel it? he asked her.
Not really. I feel your emotions and I know I’m supposed to be very aroused right now but I can’t really feel anything. It’s like I’m watching a pornographic clip about myself.
I’ll exit now. I want to join in the fun.
Zane let go of the control of Nirvana’s body and returned to his. It was a shock to him as he went from extremely turned on to a flaccid state.
“Wow,” Nirvana called out. “This feels really strange.”
“I’m feeling none of what I felt in your body.”
“I’m so turned on that I’m beginning to feel turned off.” She laughed a little. “I’m not sure how to describe that. It’s a little hard to cope with so much so suddenly.”
“We can start over.” Zane flipped himself over her and nuzzled her neck. He kissed his way down to her breast and sucked on her nipple. Judging from the way she responded, it shouldn’t take long to pick up from where he left off.
Chapter 36
The crew returned as scheduled. It was an uneventful trip, but Asan looked troubled.
“Asago is surrounded by a really large moat. The visibility in the water is almost non-existent,” he said as he took out a chip and inserted it into the datapad. Ramsey helped to hook the datapad to a projector and displayed a detailed map of the terrain around the stronghold.
“How did you have time to do this?” Zane asked, looking astonished.
Asan released a tiny drone about the size of his thumb into the air.
“This is Scout,” he explained. “Scout’s very good at his job. Released him while I was unloading the cargo.” He pulled out a short pen-like device from his pocket and turned a few dials on it. The drone flew in front of Zane and hovered. Zane plucked it gently out of the air and studied it.
“I didn’t think to scan for drones this small. Damn.” Zane pushed his glasses above his head and brought it closer to his eyes.
Asan turned his attention back to the display. He pointed to the moat. “I’m not sure if there are any creatures living in the moat that might attack us.”
“No,” Zane said. “It’d be hard for my security to monitor movement in the water if there were living things.”
“You can detect movement in the water?” Asan asked.
“I have a program and equipment that monitors the water, but I can overwrite it.”
“Ok, that leaves the visibility problem. I don’t think you can navigate underwater at all.”
“I can do it with just the location coordinates,” Nirvana said. “It won’t be a problem.”
“I can do coordinates too,” Alden said.
“Great. You’ll come with me.”
“I would like to come too,” Zane said quietly.
“No, you’re not ready. Your first mission should be something less complex and risky,” Nirvana said, trying to be patient. She could feel Zane’s anxiety rising as they discussed the mission and now that she turned him down flat, his mood darkened. They had agreed not to hide their feelings from each other, so she knew he would be feeling a lot more than just upset in a matter of time.
“I know Asago better than the both of you,” he tried to argue.
“That’s why I wanted the MLink implants,” Nirvana tried to explain patiently. “You’ll be there with me in a way.”
“I can train up. We have time. Dein gave you three months. Why are we rushing this?”
“I need a moment with Zane.” She looked at her crew. “We’ll be right back.”
Nirvana took Zane’s hand and led him out of the suite. Patience had never been one of her virtues, but for the sake of both of them, she had to try. She deliberately filled her head with calming thoughts to try to rein in her own anger.
This relationship was not going to work if he kept challenging her in front of the guys. This was exactly the reason why her father told her never to get herself involved with the crew.
Closing the door behind them, she pulled him over to the bed and sat him down.
“Zane, we’ve had this discussion before, about you going in. You said you would follow my lead.”
“You think I’m not good enough,” he said coldly.
“Not good enough to go in with me physically because you lack the experience, the physical strength… Look, I’ve explained this—”
“That’s just your opinion. You didn’t ask if the crew agrees with you. You didn’t give me a chance to explain to them why I feel I should be going in with you.”
“Because I know they will agree with me!”
“Is this the way you run your crew? They are not allowed to challenge you at all?”
“They don’t challenge me at all because we have proper discussions—”
“Bloody cowards!” he spat. “I’m not going to be one of your whipped pussies!”
Nirvana closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She knew Zane was heading towards the downward spiral and he was going to drag her with him if she let him. It wasn’t just his emotions that were affecting her, his words were equally provocative.
“We’re supposed to be partners!” he yelled, looking outraged. “You don’t get to cut me off when I’m talking and take me somewhere to chastise me just because I don’t foll
ow your orders like a dog.”
The mini bar at the side of the room was beckoning to her.
“Do I embarrass you when I talk? Is that why you felt the need to interrupt me and take me away? Are you regretting our relationship now? You should be.”
The martini looked good. She uncapped the small bottle and chugged the burning liquid down her throat, letting the warmth spread across her chest. The buzz from the alcohol helped to lighten the noise in her head a little. She took a deep breath and turned around. He was still ranting, but she chose not to pay attention to anything he was saying. She signed up for this and made a promise to work on it.
Feeling resolved, she finished the last of the martini and walked towards him. She hugged his stiff body and suggested carefully, “Do you want to try taking a pill?”
She tightened her arms when she felt him trying to push her away.
“Are you going to ask me to medicate myself every time you make me angry?” he asked in a low warning voice.
She rested her face on his heaving chest, “Yes, because I’m terrible and clueless at this relationship thing, and it’s who I am. I drive men up the wall.”
Shifting the blame towards herself worked, because even in his anger, he loved her enough to defend her.
“Look Zane,” she said before he started listing out all the reasons why it should be his fault more than hers. “The chill pill is supposed to help you deal with me. I know I’m a difficult woman to handle.” She pushed off to look up at him. “Unless you feel that this pill thing is detrimental to your health in the long run—”
“I’ll take it.”
“I’m sorry you have to do this because of me.” She stroked his chest. His breathing seemed to have slowed down and his muscles relaxed. She gave him a peck on his lips and walked over to her duffel to take out his medication.
“A stronger man wouldn’t have needed the pill,” he mumbled as he opened a bottle of water.
“Doesn’t mean I won’t piss him off enough to drive him away,” she said wryly, popping the pill out of the packaging onto her palm. “Here.”
Fatal Extraction Page 18
