Chapter 16
I kept Alastor near me as I walked to school the next day. I had my fill of being without him the day before. He never made himself solid, but I knew he was there.
As we walked to school, I kept thinking of Jonah and running different scenarios through my head. I didn’t know what I was going to say or do, but I couldn’t just leave things as they were.
Alastor moved closer, hovering somewhere over my left shoulder.
“Why don’t you leave the boy alone and let him lick his wounds in peace?” He suggested.
I hated discussing Jonah with him, even more so when he was right about things. Nodding, I resigned myself to doing nothing and giving Jonah some time to sort it out.
I expected to find myself the center of attention after the whole mess with Jonah and the fight with Ashley, but as I walked up to the school, no one even noticed.
Thunder rolled in the distance and a few random raindrops began to fall, but little groups ignored the weather and gathered on the sidewalk and lawn.
I passed a few of Ashley’s cheerleading minions and even they were disregarding the rain and whispering among themselves. Normally, the slightest change in the weather would send them screaming inside for their hairspray. Whatever it was that had everyone talking, it must be something big.
Spotting Billie and Ally near the entrance, I went over to them.
“What’s going on?” I asked, shivering as Alastor moved closer and chilled the air around me.
“Haven’t you heard?” Ally asked in an excited whisper, “Everyone is talking about it.”
“I just got here.” I said, zipping my jacket up.
“It’s Ashley,” Billie said wide eyed.
I rolled my eyes, “What about her?”
Billie shifted her weight from one foot to the other, “I don’t know where to even begin.”
“What?” I demanded, getting colder by the minute.
Billie opened her mouth to speak, but Ally was quicker.
“Ashley fell down the stairs after cheerleading practice and nearly died!” She blurted out.
I stared at her, open mouthed, struggling to form words.
“What?” I asked, still not sure I heard her correctly.
Ally danced around me as if this was the juiciest gossip she had ever told another person, “Yeah, she fell down the stairs and now she’s in the hospital talking all this nonsense about hearing voices and stuff.”
“It sounds like she really lost it,” Billie added in agreement. “Are you oaky? You look a little funny.”
I nodded, but was struggling to breathe. I kept telling myself that it couldn’t be what I thought it was but then there was a sudden emptiness around me and then I knew…Alastor.
It was impossible to go through the day pretending things were normal. I listened to the gossip, trying to catch every detail, but the story was the same each time. Ashley heard imaginary voices and it frightened her so bad that she fell down the stairs.
My stomach rolled every time I heard the story. I just sipped a soda at lunch, too sick to care that Jonah didn’t even look my way. I just laid my head down and prayed for the day to end, deep down I knew that all of this was somehow my fault.
Alastor avoided me while I was at school. It wasn’t until I was walking home in the rain that I felt his invisible presence.
“Becca?” He whispered.
“I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Becca, please.”
“You’re ruining my life,” I hissed. “Just go away.”
I went home to an empty house and straight up to my room. Even though Dad wasn’t home, I still preferred the privacy of my room. I shut the door and turned to see Alastor standing before me.
I jumped at the sight of him and turned away. I couldn’t face the sadness on his face.
He was very vivid. I could hear the soft thud of his footsteps as he came up behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and I could see the fine hairs scattered on the back of his hand.
“My love,” he whispered from behind me. “Am I forgiven?”
The sound of his voice filled me with longing and frustration. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against his phantom chest, “I can never stay mad at you.”
I sensed the energy of the room shift and I knew if I opened my eyes I would see only empty space and the illusion would be gone.
“Alastor?”
“I’m here.”
A tingling sensation ran over my head and hair. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, not wanting to break the illusion. He was here and he was holding me, and that was enough.
“I am so sorry for the things that I said,” I whispered.
The tingling moved to my ear, “I know.”
I opened my eyes to the empty space surrounding me, “Then let me see you.”
“Of course.”
I watched as particles of what always seemed to be light and dust come together to create him again. Flickering, very much like a candle, he became visible.
I looked at his beautiful face, feeling a lifetime of history between us. I could sense the part of me that believed he would be the father of my children. I knew when that other me died, his name was the last word I whispered.
“I have always loved you,” I said.
“I know you have.”
Turning away from him, I took a deep breath. “You know that this cannot go on. We cannot keep hurting people.”
His hands were on my shoulders, turning me to face him. They were so real, so strong.
“Do not do this,” He whispered in an anguished hiss.
“I have to.”
The furniture of the room began to shake, books and papers flying about as Alastor seemed to swell. The room grew colder and bits of plaster even fell from the ceiling, outside the rain pounded against the windows.
I could feel his wrath and backed away from him, “Look what we did to Jonah.”
“The boy does not deserve you.” He said, actually pacing the floor and vibrating it with each step.
I took another step back as thunder rattled the house, “And what about Ashley? You almost killed her.”
He turned those icy blue eyes on me as the chaos in my room increased. He loomed larger and larger, “Becca, I did not harm her. That was an accident.”
“How is this going to work?” I demanded, “Do you think I’m going to go through life with a ghost? I’d always have to be so careful of what I was thinking so no one else would get hurt. What sort of life is that?”
Alastor was at my side again, “Becca listen to me, before, with us, I was still just a boy. I didn’t know how to be a man. I was a soldier, the hero coming home, but it wasn’t enough. I had to die to know where I made my mistakes. Please, my Becca, listen to me.”
“I can’t do this!” I cried and covered my face with my hands, “I can’t be your Becca. I can’t be Becca Sinclair. I can’t be some woman that died a century ago. I’ve got my own life to live.”
His hands were on me, pulling me to his chest. “Your life is my life.”
I shook my head, “No. It’s not.”
“You belong to me!” Alastor roared.
Backing away from him, my leg brushed my night table. I looked down, there; in silver frames were the pictures from the library. I picked up the one of Alastor alone and stared down at the handsome face. I almost wavered then, but knew that it would be my damnation if I did.
“I belong to no man!” I screamed and hurled the pictured across the room. The frame crashed against the wall and the glass shattered to the floor.
He stood there, looking down at the broken fragments. “Please, Becca.”
I wanted to go to him. I wanted to kiss him and swear that I would love him forever. I wanted to tell him that I was wrong, but I knew that it would be a lie.
“Alastor,” I choked out. “There are some mistakes that are made to last.”
I wasn’t prepared for what came next. The storm
raged outside, but Alastor brought the torment inside my room to a halt. Things stopped spinning in the air and dropped immediately to the floor. He turned to me with his blue eyes blazing.
“Never say that,” He ordered and floated upward. He was no longer solid, but smoky and rushing straight toward me.
There was no time to run. I backed against the window, staring into eyes that were burning with rage. A cold realization crept over me.
Death. It always seemed such a strange and far off event that I never thought about what it would be like to actually die. That was something for the distant future, but as I heard the window shatter behind me, I knew my time had come.
What was it that I was dying for? The sins of the past? The wrongs of the present? Did it even matter?
I looked up at him one last time, staring into his sad and familiar eyes. I took one last breath and prepared to die.
Alastor was almost to me, snarling and terrifying. Just as he reached me his face became horrified and his arms went out to me. There was another loud crash, glass breaking, and pain ran through me. Something was pulling me and there was the sickening copper smell of blood.
I could feel myself falling and the stocking around my neck tightening, but that couldn’t be right. I was alone in the house, but the rooms were empty and echoed my footsteps. What was happening? Where was I? Who was I?
“Becca? Becca?” Alastor’s voice reached me through the heavy darkness.
I thought I was saying his name. After all, his name was the last thing I said before, why not again?
He was very close, speaking low and soft. “I want you to listen to me my Becca and believe this if you believe nothing else, I want you to know and always remember that you have been loved. You have been loved in this world and the next. Please, never forget that.”
Far below I heard the front door open and slam shut. The sound reverberated up the wall and across the floor where I lay, so much like the feeling of the cannons during the battle.
“Becca! Becca! Where are you?” Dad called, I could hear him racing about below. Moments later I heard his feet on the stairs, taking them two at a time.
Alastor’s hands were on my face, I tried to open my eyes, but couldn’t. I felt the chill of him leaning over me, moving closer and closer. His lips closed down on mine and he was solid and real. I felt his tongue touch mine, his hands at my throat, and then he pulled away.
“Remember,” he whispered. “You have been loved.”
Then there was nothing.
Spiritus, a Paranormal Romance (Spiritus Series Book#1) Page 18
