by Alexa Land
I cut him off, because I was afraid of what he’d say next. “That’s fine. My life is up in the air right now, and I know it would be a bad time to start something.”
“Then what are we doing right now?”
I thought, Giving me what I’ve wanted for months. “We’re just letting ourselves have some fun.” Technically, that was true too.
He nuzzled the hand that lingered on his jawline. Then he shifted around so he was facing me and brought my chin up with a gentle touch. When his lips met mine, it was light, almost experimental. Then he leaned back just a little and searched my eyes. I wondered what he was looking for.
Whatever it was, apparently he found it, because his next kiss was something else entirely. I parted my lips for him as he claimed my mouth. When I grabbed for him, I ended up with two fistfuls of the flannel shirt he wore unbuttoned over a T-shirt.
Without thinking about it, I climbed onto his lap, straddling his hips as my heart raced. Lorenzo filled my senses. His taste, his scent, every point of contact where my body met his—I reveled in all of it as our kisses turned hungry.
But then my emotions overwhelmed me, and I pulled back abruptly. He looked concerned as he asked, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah. Fine.” I said that automatically. It was what I always said. I put my head on his shoulder, and he held me securely. Even though it felt wonderful, I started to feel self-conscious and climbed off his lap just moments later.
He seemed to understand I needed a few minutes, so after a beat, he changed the subject by indicating the takeout containers. “The caterers did an incredible job tonight. I collected a few things I thought you might enjoy.” He produced a fork from the cardboard box and held it out to me as he added, “My advice is to start with the cheesecake. It’s sensational.”
“I shouldn’t.”
“Oh, you definitely should.” Lorenzo’s tone was playful, and when I eyed the cheesecake, he teased, “You know you want to.”
He was right about that. I took the fork from him and ate a morsel of the rich, creamy dessert. Despite myself, I made a sound more suited to sex than food and murmured, “It’s even better than I imagined.”
He looked happy as I picked up the plate, and while I savored a few more bites of cheesecake, he asked, “Do you feel like watching a movie?” When I nodded, he went to the shelves beside my TV, which were lined with plastic boxes containing Blu-ray discs. “Any preference?”
“Something light.” When he held up Jurassic Park, I said, “Perfect.”
My taste was all over the place, from big budget action movies to quirky independent films and everything in between. I was the exact opposite of a film snob. I’d watch just about anything, and if it managed to transport me into its world for a couple of hours, I considered it a great movie.
As Lorenzo popped the disc into the slim player, I said, “I love this movie.”
“Me too.”
“The first time I watched it was at Lenny Brewer’s house. Lenny thought he was hot shit because his parents had a VCR and a big TV, and his dad went to Shreveport twice a week for his job and brought back movies from Blockbuster. I was so jealous of him.”
“When was this?”
“I was probably in the second grade, so it must have been around 1997.” I frowned and asked, “Why are you grinning like that?”
“I was in my first year of college. Sometimes I forget how young you are.”
“I’m turning thirty this year.”
“Exactly.”
My frown deepened. “I wasn’t making your point for you. I was just saying I’m really not that young anymore.”
“Sure you are.”
He returned to the couch with a remote and took off his cowboy boots, while I changed the subject with, “Would you like a drink? My bar’s pretty well-stocked, and there’s diet soda in the mini-fridge. Also, I’m not going to polish off eight takeout containers, so I hope you’ll help me eat what you brought.”
“I’ve got the drinks covered.” Lorenzo produced two half-size bottles of Prosecco from the cardboard box and tucked his feet under him. He’d settled in right beside me, so close that our arms were touching. We’d watched movies together many times, but the proximity was new and welcome.
As the opening scenes played, I let myself eat half the slice of cheesecake before setting it aside, and he snacked on some appetizers. I’d seen the film so many times that I had to fight the urge to recite the dialog. After a while, I glanced at Lorenzo and found him studying my profile. He asked, “Can you tell me what happened a few minutes ago? You seemed upset.”
“Actually, I was overwhelmed.” I took a breath and tried to find the words to explain it to him. “You know I spent most of the last decade working as a prostitute while waiting for my acting career to take off.” I wasn’t ashamed of that, so why wasn’t I looking him in the eye? I pressed on by saying, “Whenever I’d get intimate with someone, I was just going through the motions. I guess I got used to that, so to go from feeling nothing to feeling everything was just…well, it was a lot.”
I’d told him how I’d supported myself when we first became friends, and he hadn’t judged me for the choices I’d made. Plus, it was in the past, since I’d been able to quit when I moved to the resort. But maybe I was bringing it up again to make sure it still wasn’t an issue. It was one thing to know a friend had worked as a prostitute, another thing entirely to know that about a potential sex partner.
Lorenzo was so kind, though. He took my hand and said, “Tell me what you need.”
“You.” There was way too much behind that single word—too much truth, too much longing—but it flew from my lips before I could stop it. Instead of letting it hang in the air, I kissed him again.
Something ignited between us with that kiss. We tumbled over each other as we pulled off our clothes and tossed them aside. Soon we were both naked and splayed out on the couch. All of it was still overwhelming, but I just went with it.
I was glad we could skip the conversation that would normally have to happen right about now. He was such a good friend that he’d actually accompanied me to my last two STD screenings. He’d even gotten tested at the same time, just so I wouldn’t feel self-conscious, which meant we both knew our results were negative across the board.
He caressed my skin as he licked and kissed his way down my body. I knew where he was headed, but before he could get there, I shifted around and knelt between his legs. Then I wrapped my lips around his thick cock and gave him what I hoped was the best blowjob of his life. He came in just a few minutes, tangling his fingers in my hair and bucking into my mouth as he cried out.
Afterwards, I pulled on my pajama pants while he caught his breath, and he asked, “What about you? I’d like to reciprocate.”
“Next time.”
Just as I started to worry that things would turn awkward after taking that leap, Lorenzo flashed me a satisfied, goofy grin, which made me happy. He found his briefs and pulled them on, and then he took the throw blanket from the back of the couch and covered us with it.
After we curled up together, he opened one of the Prosecco minis and handed it to me before opening the other for himself. “We missed a bit of the movie,” he said, “but here’s what I think happened—dinosaurs.” I chuckled at that and put my head on his shoulder.
We couldn’t be bothered to get up for glasses, so we drank the sparkling wine directly from the bottles. We also kept up a running commentary on the remainder of the movie, and when it ended, I ventured, “It’s really late, so why don’t you just spend the night here?”
His room was less than a three-minute walk from mine, so it wasn’t exactly a hardship to get there. I just didn’t want him to leave, and apparently he didn’t want to either, because he said, “I’d love to.”
I found him a toothbrush still in its packaging, and we took turns in the bathroom before climbing into bed. The cat hadn’t budged from the center of the mattress, so we both formed
brackets around her.
After a while, Lorenzo asked, “If you quit acting, what will you do instead?”
“Go home, I guess.”
“You don’t mean rural Louisiana, do you?”
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
“But almost every story you’ve told me about that place involved narrow-minded people who made your life hell.”
“That part isn’t great, but it’s where my parents are,” I said. “I came here with dreams of making it big, not just for myself, but for them, too. It meant everything to me to give them a better life, but since I’ve failed as an actor, all that’s left is moving back home and helping my dad run his bait shop.”
“You’d be miserable doing that.”
I’d also be miserable leaving Lorenzo behind, but I said, “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve always sent money home, but I haven’t had any income since I moved to Catalina, so I’ve been chipping away at my savings. Now I’m almost broke, but I don’t think I can return to prostitution. Being away from it for the better part of a year gave me time to do a lot of soul searching, and I just don’t want to be that person anymore.”
“Do your parents know where the money was coming from all those years?”
“God, no. They think I was waiting tables in a fancy restaurant. I hated lying, but it would devastate them if they knew the truth.”
The sympathy in Lorenzo’s expression was unmistakable. “We’ll figure this out,” he said. “There has to be a way to take care of your parents without moving back to a place where you were never accepted. I’ll help in any way I can.”
It was a sweet sentiment, and I murmured, “Thank you,” but this was my responsibility.
He shifted a bit and rested his hand on my arm. After a pause, he said, “In some ways, I’m in the same boat. When Ren and Beck invited me to stay at Seahorse Ranch, I thought it’d just be for a month or two, but I spent most of last year living here rent-free. I can’t keep taking advantage of their generosity.”
“But unlike me, you definitely earn your keep. They’re lucky to have a veterinarian on the premises to look after all those horses.”
“They only need me a few hours a month, though. It’s not nearly enough to justify the free room and board.”
I asked, “So, what’s next for you?”
“I don’t know, but it’s time for a change. That’s what New Year’s is all about, right?”
“Yeah. I guess it is.”
A dull ache settled in my chest. All these changes we were talking about would probably mean the two of us going our separate ways. It felt like this thing we’d just started to build was already slipping through my fingers.
Chapter 2
The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes the next morning was Lorenzo, and I couldn’t help but smile. He was sound asleep and sprawled across my bed, with one arm over his head and the other draped across my chest. It looked like he’d been battling the covers, but I couldn’t quite tell who’d won. Most of them were thrown off, except for a sheet that was tangled around his legs.
I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could and snuck to the bathroom. The plan was to slip back in after I freshened up and tried to make my hair look adorably tousled instead of utterly disastrous. But by the time I returned to the bedroom, Lorenzo was already up and dressed.
He smiled at me and said, “Good morning,” as he added a splash of nonfat milk to a freshly brewed cup of coffee. I thanked him as he handed me the mug, and he asked, “What’re you doing today?”
“I don’t have any plans.”
“In that case, will you spend the day with me?”
“I’d love to.”
“Great. Then meet me in the dining room in half an hour. The dress code is causal.” He always added that last bit whenever we made plans to do just about anything, because he knew I had a tendency to overdress.
I asked, “What are we doing?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Can my cat come?”
“Sure. She might like flying.”
Oh shit. I said, “I’m not sure either of us is ready for a ride in your Cessna.” He’d offered to take me flying at least a dozen times, but I’d always made excuses to get out of it.
“Please give it a try. It would mean a lot to me.”
“Really?” When he nodded, I asked, “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because it’s something I absolutely love, so I want to share it with you.”
“If I start to freak out, do you promise to turn right around and land?”
“Absolutely.”
After a brief inner debate, I finally said, “Okay. I guess I could give it a try.”
It was worth saying yes just to see the delighted smile that brought a light to his eyes. “You won’t regret it.” He kissed my forehead and said, “See you in half an hour,” before heading out the door.
I searched for Madame Leota and found the cat curled up on the bottom shelf of my bookcase. “Looks like I’m going flying,” I told her. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you go along. I don’t actually think it’s dangerous, but there’s a good chance I’ll start to panic, and that always makes you freak out in turn. We don’t need that much drama at ten thousand feet.”
Exactly thirty minutes later, I stepped into the sunny dining room. The only people in there were Gabriel, who usually worked the front desk, and Vee. I poured myself another cup of coffee and joined them at their table.
After we said good morning, I asked Gabriel, “Did you make it to the party last night?” He was a beautiful, androgynous guy with long, dark hair and a slender build, and he was dressed all in black in a tunic-length sweater, leggings, and ankle boots. The outfit looked effortlessly chic on him, as did his red lipstick. I’d always admired his style.
“I did, but only for an hour or so early on. I wanted to ring in the new year on my own.”
Vee was slumped in his chair and wearing sunglasses, and I asked, “Why are you up? You look like you should be sleeping it off, which seems to be what everyone else is doing this morning.”
“No idea. I woke up an hour ago and couldn’t go back to sleep.”
“Did that guy spend the night? What was his name, Greg?”
“Craig. He spent it passed out on my bed after getting totally hammered. In fact, he’s still there. I slept on the couch.”
“Did you ever determine if it was a date?”
“I’m going with no. He friend-zoned me all night.”
“Bummer. He was cute.”
“I thought so, too. It figures, though. My love life has totally flatlined, unlike yours, apparently.”
“What does that mean?”
Gabriel grinned and said, “We saw Lorenzo leaving your building a little while ago.” When I sighed, he said, “Oops. Was that supposed to be a secret?”
“I guess not. I would have told you both sooner or later, but please keep it to yourself. He won’t want everyone talking about this.”
Gabriel took a sip of tea before asking, “Why not? Everyone knows you have a crush on him, and they’ll be happy you two are finally together.”
“That’s just it though, we’re not together. The first thing he told me last night was that he wasn’t ready for a relationship. We messed around a bit anyway, but to him it was just a friends-with-benefits kind of thing.”
Vee asked, “How do you feel about that?”
I shrugged and said, “I wish it was more, but it’s all he has to give right now.” It didn’t even begin to explain all I was feeling, but I just left it at that.
Just then, Lorenzo stepped out of the adjoining kitchen with his hands full and crossed the room to our table. As he put plates heaped with scrambled eggs, fruit, and wheat toast in front of us, he said, “Good morning, everyone. I thought you might be hungry.”
Gabriel thanked him and tucked in with enthusiasm while Vee muttered, “I’m super hung over, but I can probably manage some toast.”
<
br /> Lorenzo sat down beside me with a plate of his own and said, “I know you rarely eat breakfast, Will, but we have a big day ahead of us, so I thought I’d give you the option of fueling up.” He was good at that, taking care of me without actually telling me what to do.
I told him, “I don’t know if breakfast is a good idea. You and I are both going to be pretty unhappy if I throw up in your plane.”
Gabriel raised a well-groomed eyebrow and turned to me. “You agreed to go up in the Cessna?”
“Yup.”
“Why’d you finally say yes, after all those months of swearing it’d never happen?”
It was because I realized I really wanted to share that experience with Lorenzo, and this might be my last chance. I didn’t want to say that, though. Vee was sure to launch into a big speech about how I couldn’t quit acting and leave California, and I couldn’t face that right then. So instead, I said lightly, “New year, new me. Will 2.0 includes twenty percent more bravery than last year’s model.” Gabriel nodded in approval.
Vee and I both picked at our food while Lorenzo and Gabriel cleaned their plates, and then Vee stood up and said, “I should go see if Sleeping Beauty has regained consciousness yet, so I can give him a ride to the ferry dock. Have fun today. I’m looking forward to hearing about Will 2.0’s high-flying adventures.”
I muttered, “Let’s hope it’s not a cautionary tale about high-altitude panic attacks.”
Gabriel got up too and offered to help clean up, but Lorenzo gathered the plates and said, “I’ve got this. Go enjoy your morning.”
After they thanked him and took off, I helped Lorenzo do the dishes. Then he picked up a picnic basket he’d packed for us, and as I followed him to the parking lot, I asked, “How’d you get so much done and still find time to shower and change in only half an hour?” His dark hair, which was just starting to go gray, was slightly damp, and he’d exchanged yesterday’s jeans, T-shirt, and flannel shirt for an almost identical outfit. Meanwhile, I’d taken a stab at dressing casually with pale gray pants, a white button-down shirt, white sneakers, and a dark gray denim jacket. I just couldn’t help myself when it came to making sure everything was color-coordinated.
