by Alexa Land
Once we climbed out of the car, Jack Ito delivered his line. Emma Rosen and Harper Royce spoke next, then me, so the three of them got to repeat their lines every time I fucked up. Yet somehow Taylor Keefe was the angriest of all, and every time we got back in the car, he’d shoot me a look that made it clear how much he was learning to hate me.
Finally, the assistant director called, “Let’s all take twenty.”
Lang came over to me and said, “Will, let’s take a walk.” It felt exactly like being pulled out of class to go to the principal’s office.
“You’re doing fine,” he told me as we left the set, which was obviously a lie. “It just seems like you’re trying too hard.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Starting with this scene was a mistake. I should have adjusted the shooting schedule when I learned Chambers was out and led off with something else. I’d originally decided to start with this one because Trent and the other actors are all friends. I thought I could build off the camaraderie that already existed between them, which in turn would carry over to the next scenes.”
I muttered, “But instead you have me totally destroying your schedule.”
“No, you’re not. Even if you’d all nailed it the first time, I still would have done a dozen takes to give us plenty to work with in editing.” We’d reached my trailer, and Lang gestured at it and said, “Take some time to regroup. Want me to send a production assistant your way with some coffee or water?”
“No thanks. My assistant stocked the trailer this morning.”
“Okay. I’ll see you in a few minutes then. Try to relax, and remember what I said, don’t overthink it.”
I climbed into the trailer and locked the door behind me. After I grabbed my phone, I curled into a ball on the couch, pulled a blanket over my head, and called Lorenzo. He sounded so happy and positive when he answered with, “This is a nice surprise! I didn’t think I’d hear from you until tonight. How’s your first day on the set going?”
“It’s horrible. We’re still on the first scene, because I keep fucking up my lines. We’ve had to do nearly thirty takes, and it’s totally humiliating.”
“Is it because you’re nervous? You knew those lines inside and out last night.”
“It’s not that I’m forgetting them, the director just hates what I’m doing. Every time I deliver my first line, he yells ‘Cut’ and the entire scene has to be reset. Then we start again from the top. What makes it doubly awful is that all four of the gorgeous, successful lead actors are in this shot with me, and I’m sure they think I’m a total amateur. Hell, maybe they’re right.”
“Fuck them,” he said. “Their opinions don’t matter.”
“What if I get fired, Lorie? That really would mean the end of my career. Plus, I’ll have to give back the salary they paid me, and my parents were so excited about that money. My mom called me yesterday crying happy tears because they’d just gone out and bought a new washer and dryer. There’s no way I can ask them to give it back, so how am I going to come up with ten grand?”
“I’d give it to you from my savings, but you’re not going to get fired.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you’re a great actor, Will, and the director knows that. It’s why he hired you.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was having second thoughts.” I took a deep breath, which sounded shaky, and then I blurted, “God, I wish you were here, Lorie. I feel totally lost. I know it’s just the first day, but it’s already torn what little confidence I had to shreds. In a few minutes I’ll have to go out there and try again, but I just want to run and hide.” There was a knock at the door just then, and I said, “Shit, I have to go. I’m sorry to call and complain like this.”
“Don’t apologize. You know I’m always here to listen.”
“Thanks. I’ll call you tonight.”
“You’ve got this, Will. I believe in you.” At least one of us did.
After we said goodbye and disconnected the call, I tossed the blanket aside and answered the door. I’d expected it to be Phoenix or Riley. Instead, it turned out to be Harper Royce, who said, “Hey, Will. Can I come in?” When I stepped back, he climbed up the two stairs and seemed to totally fill the trailer.
Every article I’d read about Harper inevitably included phrases like ‘all-American’—whatever that meant—and ‘boy next door’. He was a tall, green-eyed blond with a square jaw and broad shoulders, the type of guy who absolutely would have been prom king and the quarterback of his high school football team. It was no wonder he’d been cast as rich, handsome, and popular Liam, the bright star at the center of poor, broken Alex’s universe.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him. “You must be incredibly frustrated with me.”
“I’m really not. Can we sit down?” I led the way to the couch, and when we were both seated, he said, “I could see you getting more and more upset with yourself, so I wanted to tell you you’re not doing anything wrong. Lang’s not giving you enough direction. Maybe he’s being intentionally vague to see what you’ll come up with, I’m not sure. But that’s all about him, and in no way a reflection on what you’re doing.”
“Tell that to Taylor Keefe. He’s ready to punch me in the face.”
“Taylor’s a pain in the ass. He’s also a friend of mine, so I’m not saying that to be mean. He’s just a very impatient person, but just wait. Pretty soon, Lang will be doing the same thing to him, and then Taylor will be begging the rest of us to cut him some slack.”
I muttered, “I can’t fucking wait,” which made Harper chuckle. Then I asked, “In your opinion, what do you think Lang wants that he’s not seeing from me?”
“Let’s backtrack a bit. What can you tell me about Alex and what he’s feeling in this scene?”
“Alex knows he’s about to lose Liam, the most important person in his life, along with the rest of his friends because Liam was the glue that held them all together. That makes this getaway bittersweet. These five people spent countless summers, weekends, and vacations at the beach house, and given Alex’s abusive home life, this place was his sanctuary. Now Liam’s dad is selling the property, and Liam and Emily are moving away, so Alex’s heart is breaking because everything is coming to an end. But he’s trying not to let that show, because he doesn’t want to cast a shadow over what little time they have left.”
Harper said, “You’ve done your homework.”
“I’ve loved the book since I was in high school and can’t even tell you how many times I’ve read it. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t do justice to this story and character.”
“You will, because you know Alex. In fact, you know him better than any other person on this set, based on what you just told me about him. So, introduce us to this guy. Show us his vulnerability. But do it like Alex would, quietly and subtly. Remember that he keeps everything inside, which is why my character has no clue Alex is in love with him.”
I met his gaze and said, “That’s very insightful.”
“Surprising, right?” He grinned at me. “I know I come across as a dumb jock, and I may have gone to college on a football scholarship, but my favorite subject was always English. In other words, you’re not the only one who’s read this book more than once.”
“I never thought you were a dumb jock.”
He got up from the couch. “Then you’re an exception to the rule. Come outside with me, and let’s run our lines.”
I followed him out of the trailer, and we went to stand in front of the house. “It’s so run down. I can see why my dad wants to sell it,” Harper said, delivering Liam’s line.
I replied, in Alex’s soft voice, “It’s beautiful. I always thought it was the most wonderful place in the whole world.”
Harper turned to me and smiled. “That was perfect. It was just a little wistful, and it showed Alex’s innocence and how childlike he could be at times.”
“Re
ally? You thought it was okay?”
“If you do it exactly like that for Lang, I guarantee he’ll keep rolling.”
“I hope you’re right. Even if he yells ‘cut’ on my very next line, all I want out of life right now is just to get past this point.”
“You’ve got this, I promise. Now come on,” he said, “let’s give hair and makeup a chance to make me look better and you look worse.” I grinned, because that was exactly right.
As we cut across the set, Harper asked, “If you don’t have plans tonight, will you have dinner with me? I want to run lines for our love scene, and I’d also like to get to know you a bit. It’s going to be awkward as hell to get naked and rub all over each other while twenty straight crew members stare at us tomorrow, but slightly less so if we’re not total strangers.”
“Sure, that’s a good idea.”
“Great, then I’ll come find you when we wrap. Maybe we can have some drinks first. I found a nice, quiet bar in town last night, the kind of place where we probably won’t be interrupted.” Just then, something caught Harper’s eye and he muttered, “Oh hell. I’d heard Phoenix Jaymes was on set, and there he is.”
“Yeah, my agent hired him to give me a hand during filming.”
“I’m not exactly his favorite person.”
“You’re really not.”
My assistant joined us a moment later. He was carrying a shopping bag and my cat, who was adorned with her pink rhinestone leash and harness. He shot Harper a look of pure disdain, then asked me, “Are you okay? I heard you had a rough time on set this morning.” Oh great. Was the whole crew talking about it?
“I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I thought you’d be tied up for a while, so I decided to take Madame Leota to the pet store so she could pick out a treat.”
“That was nice of you, and there’s no need to apologize. It’s just taking me a little while to hit my stride, but Harper talked me through it and I’m ready to try again.”
Phoenix wrinkled his nose slightly at the name, then asked, “Can I bring you anything before you start again?” When I declined, he said, “In that case, I’m going to take the cat for a walk and then give her a brush-out. I’ll be in and around your trailer if you need me.”
Once he left, I turned to Harper and said, “All that stuff with the cat wasn’t my idea. That makes me sound like such a diva.”
“Oh believe me, I know how he is. He worked for me for almost a year and nearly drove me insane. He has to be busy constantly, and when there’s nothing to do he just invents stuff. Once, he found every condom in my house and arranged them in a skinny file box by expiration date. That’s not normal. I was the most organized I’d ever been in my life when he worked for me, but I also thought I’d lose my mind if he kept that shit up.”
I teased, “And then you dated his identical twin.”
“They only look alike. Phoenix is the most uptight person I’ve ever met, and Dallas is the most laid back.”
We took our seats under the canopy hair and makeup used during filming, and Riley joined us. While he touched up my foundation, he asked, “Are you okay, Will? It seemed like you were having a rough time on the set this morning.”
“I’m fine, despite all evidence to the contrary.”
A few minutes later, the crew reassembled, and Harper and I joined the other three actors in the car. Taylor whispered, “Could you maybe not fuck it up this time, Kandinsky?”
Harper snapped, “Stop being such a douche, Taylor.”
The two of them bickered until the assistant director called, “Quiet on the set.”
When Lang called, “Action,” we all piled out of the car.
Jack said his line, then Emma and Harper said theirs. I could practically feel the tension on the set as I turned to look at the house and said softly, “It’s beautiful. I always thought it was the most wonderful place in the whole world.”
Everyone held their breath for a beat as we all waited for Lang to stop the scene for the millionth time. But that didn’t happen, so Harper delivered his second line, and Taylor finally got to recite his. In the next instant, Lang called, “Cut,” and Harper and I grinned at each other.
The rest of the day proceeded at a slow pace, and we all began to realize that was Lang’s style. I’d been told he liked to do a lot of takes, and that was no joke. We still managed to finish shooting that first scene before lunch, and the rest of the afternoon was spent on a scene with the five of us playing cards around the dining room table. It was one of the more lighthearted parts of the film, and Taylor got called out by the director twice as often as I did, so I was in good spirits by the time we finished for the day.
After I changed out of Alex’s grunge-inspired wardrobe and back into my own clothes, I took off my makeup, then searched my trailer for my phone. When I didn’t find it, I assumed Phoenix had taken it with him for some reason, maybe to charge it, or to alphabetize my apps, or whatever he’d thought of to keep himself busy.
By the time I went back outside, it was starting to get dark and the set was pretty empty, except for a handful of crew members who were putting away the last of the equipment. Harper joined me as I locked up and said, “I didn’t bring a copy of the pages for tomorrow. Do you need them?”
I shook my head. “I have my lines memorized.”
“Nice, me too. So, have you ever filmed a love scene before?”
“No, and I’m dreading it.”
He chuckled and said, “I’ll try not to take that personally.”
“Not because it’s with you! I just know it’s going to look and feel incredibly awkward, especially with Lang and the whole crew staring at us.”
“I’m just teasing. Also, we can request that they pare down the crew to essential personnel only if you want. Other than that, we just need to get comfortable with each other,” he said, as he held his arms out. “Let’s start with a hug. I promise this isn’t me putting the moves on you. I just really don’t want to shoot five hundred takes tomorrow.”
“Neither do I.” I hesitated before wrapping my arms around him, then snuggled close and joked, “You should have led off with the fact that this sweater is cashmere. I’d have been all over you much faster.”
He chuckled and said, “Oh, I see how it is. I’m only worth hugging if I’m wrapped in silky softness.”
Once we let go of each other, I looked up at him and said, “This was a good idea. I already feel a little better about tomorrow.”
“Bad news, I’m about to make it weird again,” he said, with an embarrassed grimace. “I should warn you that I might get an erection while we’re filming, since I’ll probably be rubbing against you while we simulate having sex. Apologies in advance.”
“I can’t believe Lang thought it would be a good idea to shoot that scene on day two. Where’s the logic in that?”
Harper shrugged. “There’s no logic, but at least we can get it out of the way.”
“True. Then all I have to dread is my love scene with a girl. Talk about uncomfortable.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were gay.”
I said flatly, “Right, because I’m super butch.”
“I never assume anything.”
“That’s a wise policy.”
He asked, “While we’re at it, do you want to try a kiss?”
I frowned and muttered, “I don’t know about that.”
“It’s up to you. I just thought it’d be good to get the first one over with before we have a camera on us.”
He had a point. I hesitated before stretching up and experimentally pressing my lips to his. Then I stepped back and muttered, “That was awkward.”
“It really was.”
“No offense, but it felt like kissing a cardboard cutout.”
Harper burst out laughing, and then he said, “I really don’t have to worry about developing an overinflated ego with you around.”
“You know what I mean though, right?”
“Yes, and you’re going to have to put a lot more oomph into it tomorrow. Otherwise Lang’s going to force us to make out for like, seventeen hours until we get it right.”
“Oh, I’ll bring the oomph,” I assured him. “Just be sure to bring yours.”
“I will. Don’t you worry about that. Now come on, I need a drink.”
As we started walking toward the makeshift parking lot at the edge of the property, I said, “Thanks, Harper.”
“For what?”
“For being nice to me when you could have just sat back and watched me drown.”
“You don’t have to thank me for not being a total asshole.”
I wasn’t looking where I was going and almost ran into Riley. He was coming from the parking lot and putting on a black leather jacket, and he smiled at us and said hello.
“We’re about to go have some drinks,” Harper said. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I don’t drink.” Riley turned to me and asked, “Where’s Lorenzo?”
“Catalina, I assume. Why do you ask?”
Riley looked confused. “No, he’s here, on set. I just met him a few minutes ago. Phoenix was issuing him a visitor’s badge.”
“Lorenzo? My Lorenzo?”
“Yeah. Didn’t you see him? He was headed for your trailer when I went to grab my jacket.”
A knot formed in the pit of my stomach, and I murmured, “Oh no. What if he saw us preparing for tomorrow’s love scene and got the wrong idea?”
“That shouldn’t be a big deal. Just explain what we were doing,” Harper said.
“I have to find him first.”
I rushed back to my trailer, and Harper and Riley followed me. Lorenzo wasn’t there, so I went to the production office next, but it was dark and locked up for the night. In fact, most of the set had emptied out, aside from three crew members who were putting away some lights.
I muttered, “I guess he’s on his way back to Catalina.”
Harper asked, “Just like that, without even talking to you?”
“Cheating is a very sensitive issue with him,” I explained. “If he thought I was doing that to him, he probably wouldn’t want to hear my excuses.”
