by Alexa Land
The scene ended there. The audience would fill in what happened next, as long as I did my job and showed them what Alex was feeling.
Lorenzo came up to me and draped the ski jacket over my shoulders, and I threw my arms around him. I didn’t care that there were twenty crew members staring at us. I needed this. He kissed my forehead, and then he surprised me by whispering, “You’re going to be so fucking famous when this movie comes out.”
Lang joined us a few moments later. The director didn’t say anything at first. He just rubbed his jaw as he mulled over what he’d seen. Finally, he said, “I thought it’d be bigger. I expected more crying, more agony.”
“But it’s just the opposite. Alex makes this horrible decision, and that isn’t showy or dramatic. It’s really quiet, introspective, and personal.”
Lang asked, “Will the audience understand that, though?”
“They’ll get it. You just need to have faith in them.”
“For the sake of argument, let’s do it again,” he said, “starting with the run from the back of the house.”
“Absolutely. I’ll run through that field a hundred times if you want me to, but I’m not changing that ending. I’m not trying to be difficult. I just need to let you know I’m giving Alex the respect he deserves in his final moments.”
Lang thought about that, and then he said, “Okay. We’ll do it your way.”
We spent almost two hours doing take after take of the run from the back door to where I dropped to my knees. By the time Lang said, “Okay, I think we’re good,” I was utterly exhausted.
The assistant director got on a bullhorn and announced we were done filming for the night, and the crew went to work immediately, breaking down the equipment. Lorenzo and Phoenix accompanied me to wardrobe, and after I changed back into my clothes, they collected my cat and ushered me to the SUV. They were both talking excitedly, but I nearly dozed off on the drive home.
When we got back to the house, we said goodnight to Phoenix and went upstairs. Lorenzo undressed me and took me straight to bed. As he held me in his arms, he asked, “Are you alright, Will?”
“I don’t know when I’ve ever been so tired,” I murmured. “But I’m proud of myself. I feel like I did something important tonight.”
Chapter 14
I woke up the next morning with Lorenzo wrapped around me. When I burrowed even deeper into his arms, he kissed my forehead. “Last night is a blur,” I murmured. “I basically just remember running through a field and dropping to my knees about six thousand times. If Lang ends up using the first take, I’m going to find out where he lives and leave a flaming bag of dog poop on his porch.”
Lorenzo grinned and said, “I’ll gladly be your accomplice.”
We shifted a bit, and I mumbled, “I’m so glad it’s the weekend. Can we spend all day in bed?”
“You’ll have to get up long enough for your interview, but we can come right back here afterwards.”
“Shit, I forgot about that.”
“Should we ask Phoenix to reschedule the appointment?”
“No. The reporter and photographer are driving all the way from San Francisco, so the least I can do is pull myself together for a couple of hours.”
He started to climb out of bed as he told me, “I’ll be right back with some coffee and breakfast.”
But I pulled him back into the bed and climbed over him as I said, “I’ll go get us something. Stay here.”
“But you’re tired.”
“I know, but I really want to do this for you.” He clearly wanted to argue, so I said, “Please?”
“Okay, as long as you promise to leave dinner up to me.”
“Deal.”
I pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, since I’d gone to bed just in briefs, and went downstairs. Riley and Phoenix were both staring at my cat, who was sitting on the kitchen island, and Riley exclaimed, “We just taught Madame Leota to do a high five! Watch.” He held up his hand, and my cat tapped it with her paw.
I chuckled and said, “I can’t believe you got her to do that.”
“Phoenix has this awesome and weird skill set, which includes animal training for some reason.”
“If I have a client with, let’s say, a total shithead of a chihuahua, it’s in my best interest to teach the little bastard to behave,” Phoenix explained, as he tucked a lock of shaggy brown hair behind his ear. “The chihuahua example isn’t random, by the way. They can be real assholes.”
When he saw I was assembling a breakfast tray, Phoenix immediately began helping me. He flipped a switch to brew a fresh pot of coffee, then found a little vase with a miniature carnation and put it on the tray. Meanwhile, Riley asked, “Why’s your cat named Madame Leota? I feel like it’s a reference to something that went over my head.”
I told him, “The very first thing I did when I moved to Southern California was go to Disneyland. It was a promise I’d made to myself when I was a little kid. I didn’t know a soul in L.A. so I went by myself, but it was still completely great. I loved the rides that told a story, especially the Haunted Mansion. One of my favorite parts was Madame Leota, a fully animated, disembodied fortune teller’s head in a crystal ball. The effect was so well-done that it was just magical. I went on the ride so many times that I memorized every word of the fortune teller’s dialog, and for years after that, I’d randomly recite it to entertain myself. Later on, I decided it was the perfect name for this enchanting girl.” I scratched the cat’s ear, and she tilted her head into my hand.
“That’s awesome,” Riley said. “I’ve always wanted to go to Disneyland.”
“Why don’t you?”
“I guess I’m holding out until I can go with someone special.”
I nodded and said, “I get that.”
A few minutes later, I returned to the master bedroom and found Lorenzo had showered and gotten dressed in a T-shirt and jeans. We sat cross-legged on the neatly made bed with the big tray between us, and as he tucked into his scrambled eggs and toast, I said, “I have to confess, Phoenix helped me with this. That’s why it all looks so perfect. He also baked those cranberry-orange muffins earlier this morning. I think he’s bored to death as my assistant. In fact, I discovered him and Riley training my cat, just for something to do.”
“It’s not your fault. He just has this need to stay busy. I’m not sure he’d know what to do with himself if he actually had free time.” That was definitely true.
When we’d nearly finished the meal, I asked, “Do you know where I got my cat’s name?”
“Of course. It’s your favorite character from your favorite ride at Disneyland. Why do you ask?”
“It came up when I was downstairs. I wondered if I’d ever told you the story behind it, or if you were just operating under the assumption that I’d gone mildly crazy when naming her.”
“You actually told me that story the day we met.”
“Oh, right. I’d forgotten. That feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?”
“Definitely.”
I asked, “What else did I tell you when we first met?”
“That you wanted to be an actor, more than you wanted anything else in the whole world. And now look, all your dreams are coming true.”
I looked into his beautiful, brown eyes as he smiled at me. I wanted to tell him my dreams had changed—what I wanted most in the world was him, not some job. But he probably wasn’t ready to hear that, so I steered the conversation onto safer ground by asking, “Is being a veterinarian still your dream job?”
“Yes and no. I hated it when I was confined to a clinic, but the work I did with the stray dog rescue in Mexico City and as a volunteer with Catalina Island’s nature conservancy was incredibly rewarding. In a perfect world, I’d love to keep doing work like that. The only problem is, it doesn’t always pay the bills.”
“You know what you need? A rich sugar daddy. Then you wouldn’t have to think about money and could spend your time helping anima
ls.”
He grinned at me and teased, “Are you volunteering?”
“I’m not old enough to be your sugar daddy. I could be your sugar baby, though.”
“But then I’d have to be the wealthy one, and we both know that’s never going to happen.”
“Wait,” I said. “Doesn’t ‘sugar baby’ mean a wealthy younger person who supports an older partner?”
“No. A sugar baby is the recipient in a sugar daddy arrangement.”
“Then what word am I thinking of?”
For some reason, a slight edge crept into his voice. “One that doesn’t exist.” He climbed off the bed and picked up the tray as he muttered, “You should probably get going. The reporter will be here soon.” I stared after him as he left the room and wondered what was bothering him.
Phoenix had been right about the reporter being a nice guy. It felt more like a conversation with a friend than an interview. We started out talking about my acting career and where I grew up, and then the rest of our time was spent discussing Alex and After, both the book and the film adaption. It was a relief that he didn’t try to dig up gossip or throw any curveballs my way.
After nearly two hours, the photographer took over. He was a handsome, flamboyant blond of about thirty, and he was more than a little flirtatious, but in a playful way. He also kept showering me with compliments. I wondered if his celebrity clients expected that constant boost to their ego.
He had me pose all over the living room before moving outside. The sky was overcast, but he insisted that was a perfect foil for what I was wearing. I’d gone with my favorite gray suit and an open-collared white shirt, and after shooting me like that for a while, he asked me to remove the jacket and roll back my sleeves. After snapping a series of photos with me sitting on a boulder overlooking the ocean, he asked if we could go down to the beach to shoot some more.
I asked, “Do we really need that many pictures? I thought this was going to be a pretty short article.”
“The camera loves you, and I’m getting some fantastic shots,” he said. “If the magazine likes these pictures as much as I think they will, that short article could get bumped up to a major photo spread. That would definitely be a good thing for both of us.” He had a point, so I played along and went down to the beach with him.
We got back to the house maybe half an hour later, and then we joined Phoenix and the reporter and chatted over coffee for a while. Finally, our guests said they needed to get back to the city, so we walked them to the door. There were thanks and handshakes all around, and Phoenix asked the photographer, “Could you email me a few of those photos for Will’s social media? We’ll be sure to credit you, obviously.” The man readily agreed.
Once they took off, Phoenix asked me, “So, how was it?”
“A lot of fun, actually. They were both really nice.”
“That’s great.”
As we returned to the kitchen, I asked, “For future reference, when do I know it’s okay to ask a professional photographer if I can post their photos?”
“You can always ask. The worst they can do is say no, but most won’t because as a star on the rise, you’re offering them great exposure. I basically just invited that guy to ride your coattails to fame and fortune.”
“Thanks for the information. I feel so clueless half the time.”
Phoenix flashed me a smile. “That’s why I’m here, to help you navigate your new-found celebrity status.”
I couldn’t even begin to think of myself as a celebrity. As I refilled our coffee mugs, I asked, “What happened to Riley and Lorenzo?”
“Riley’s out with a few guys from the crew, and Lorenzo is upstairs. I think he’s sulking.”
“Why would he be sulking?”
He broke eye contact and said, “I don’t know.”
“You obviously have some theories, though.”
“Yeah, but this is none of my business.”
“Please, Phoenix? Tell me what you think is going on. You know what I just said about being clueless and needing your help? That’s doubly true here. I don’t have much experience when it comes to relationships.”
He glanced at me, and after a pause he said, “Lorenzo probably thinks he’s watching you outgrow him. Each of your successes, like that high-profile interview, must feel like another nail in the coffin of your relationship to him.”
“Why would I outgrow him? I’m the same person I’ve always been.”
“No, you’re not. In the last few days, you’ve become a successful actor on the brink of international stardom.”
I insisted, “That doesn’t change who I am.”
“It does to everyone around you.”
“Why?”
“Because of the way our society puts celebrities on a pedestal. Yesterday, you were just some guy from rural Louisiana. Today, you’re a star. Everyone’s going to start treating you differently and acting like you’re something special. The question is whether you’ll let it go to your head.”
“No. Definitely not.”
A sad smile curved his lips. “Everyone on the brink of stardom says that, Will. Absolutely everyone. They swear fame won’t change them, and they won’t start believing they’re better than the rest of us. But they’re always wrong.”
“I don’t accept that. I refuse to let this career turn me into someone else, and it’ll never, ever change the way I feel about Lorenzo.”
“I’m not the one who needs to hear that.”
He had a point. I gave him a hug and said, “Thanks, Phoenix.”
“For what?”
“For listening. You know, you’re much more than just the best assistant of all time. You’re also a great friend.” He was grinning as I left the kitchen.
When I got upstairs, I was surprised to find Lorenzo gathering his possessions. His backpack was lined up beside the door with some of the stuff he’d bought over the last few days, and I asked, “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah, I thought I’d go back to Catalina for a while. I have some things to figure out.” He wasn’t looking at me.
I crossed the room to him. He’d been collecting his books, and I took them from his hands and put them on the couch. Then I said, “I’m never going to outgrow you, Lorenzo.”
“What?”
“I know the last couple of weeks have been insane. Everything happened so fast, and I’m still trying to make sense of it all. I’m talking about my career here, not you and me.” He finally met my gaze, and I said, “I don’t need to make sense of us, because I’ve always known how I felt about you. That New Year’s kiss wasn’t random. I’ve been attracted to you since the day we met, and then it turned into so much more as we got to know each other. Before I knew it, you’d become the center of my universe.”
“Well, your universe has gotten a lot bigger over the last few days, so—”
“That doesn’t matter. It can expand infinitely in all directions, but it’ll always have the same bright, shining center. That’s you, Lorie.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m trying to tell you I love you. That’s not new, in case you’re wondering, but I used to think it was something I should keep to myself. At first, that was because you were in mourning. Then it was because we’d become such close friends. I knew you didn’t feel the same way I did, so I figured this one-sided declaration would probably ruin everything. But I can’t keep pretending we’re just friends with benefits. We’ve never been that, not as far as I’m concerned. This whole time, you’ve been what I love, need, and want most in this world. I know you aren’t ready for a relationship, and I respect that. I really do. I still just need to put this out there, not to pressure you, but to let you know where I stand, so—”
“Hey, Will?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you please stop talking for a minute? Because I’d really like to kiss you.”
I smiled at him, and he pulled me close and gave me a kiss that was more passionate, urgent
, and scorching than any that had come before it. Then he said, “I love you, too.”
“You do?” He nodded, and I asked, “Then why were you heading back to Catalina?”
“Because I didn’t know you felt the same way I did, and I couldn’t stand the thought of weighing you down.”
“Come and sit down, so we can talk about this,” I said, as I guided him to the couch. When he was seated, I straddled his lap and put my arms around his shoulders, and then I asked, “What do you mean by weighing me down?”
“You have all these amazing things happening for you, and I just know you’re about to become famous and wildly successful. The last thing you need right now is someone like me holding you back.”
“So, you were going to leave me?”
“That’s not what I was doing,” he insisted. “I was just going to go back to Catalina for the next three weeks to give you some space. You said the rest of your scenes weren’t worrying you, so I figured you wouldn’t really need me anyway.”
“I don’t just need you when I’m struggling, Lorie. I need you all the time, not to do things for me, but just to be there. None of this means a thing if I can’t share it with you.”
He searched my eyes and said softly, “I think I really needed to hear that.”
“Also, it’s impossible for you to hold me back. We’re a team. Whatever happens, we’re in it together.”
“What if your next movie was set to film in, let’s say, London for six months, and I had an obligation that kept me in L.A. What would you do?”
“I’d turn down the part.”
“Then that’s the perfect example of me standing in the way of your dreams,” he said.
“You’re wrong. No job is more important than you and me.”
“But after working toward this for the last ten years and wanting it more than anything—”
