CHAPTER XXIX
After a comforting and sustaining breakfast I sent for Paddy and Jem,both of whom came in limping.
"Are you no better this morning?" I asked them.
"Troth, we're worse," said Paddy with a most dismal look on his face.
"I'm sorry to hear it," said I; "but I think the trouble will wear offto-day if you lie snug and quiet in the inn. Here's this bottle ofembrocation, or what is left of it, so you may take it with you anddivide it fairly between you, remembering that one good rub deservesanother, and that our chief duty on this earth is to help our fellowman; and as there's nothing like easy employment for making a manforget his tribulations, Jem will rub Paddy, and Paddy will rub Jem,and thus, God blessing you both, you will pass the time to your mutualbenefit."
"Yer honour," sniffed Jem Bottles, "I like your own prescriptionsbetter than Doctor Chord's. I have but small faith in the liniment;the bottle of wine you gave us last night--and I wish it had been asdouble as it made us see--was far better for our trouble than thisstuff."
"I doubt it, Jem," said I, "for you're worse this morning than youwere last night; so I'll change the treatment and go back to DoctorChord's remedy, for sure the Doctor is a physician held in high esteemby the nobility of London. But you're welcome to a double mug of beerat my expense, only see that you don't take too much of that."
"Yer honour," said Jem, "it's only when we're sober that we fall uponaffliction. We had not a drop to drink yesterday morning, and see whathappened us."
"It would have made no differ," I said, "if you had been as tipsy asthe Earl himself is when dinner's over. Trust in Providence, Jem, andrub hard with the liniment, and you'll be a new man by the morrowmorn."
With this I took my papers and the letter of introduction, and set outas brave as you please to find the Temple, which I thought would be asort of a church, but which I found to be a most sober and respectableplace very difficult for a stranger to find his way about in. But atlast I came to the place where Mr. Josiah Brooks dispensed the law fora consideration to ignorant spalpeens like myself, that was lessfamiliar with the head that had a gray wig on than with cracking headsby help of a good shillelah that didn't know what a wig was. As it wasearlier in the morning than Mr. Brooks's usual hour I had to sitkicking my heels in a dismal panelled anteroom till the great lawyercame in. He was a smooth-faced serious-looking man, rather elderly,and he passed through the anteroom without so much as casting a lookat me, and was followed by a melancholy man in rusty black who hadtold me to take a chair, holding in his hand the letter Lady Mary hadwritten. After a short time the man came out again, and, treating mewith more deference than when he bade me be seated, asked me kindlyif I would step this way and Mr. Brooks would see me.
"You are Mr. O'Ruddy, I take it," he said in a tone which I think hethought was affable.
"I am."
"Have you brought with you the papers referred to in this letter?"
"I have."
And with that I slammed them down on the table before him. He untiedthe bundle and sorted out the different documents, apparently placingthem in their right order. After this he adjusted his glasses more tohis liking and glanced over the papers rapidly until he came to onethat was smaller than the rest, and this he read through twice verycarefully. Then he piled them up together at his right hand veryneatly, for he seemed to have a habit of old maid's precision abouthim. He removed his glasses and looked across the table at me.
"Are you the son of the O'Ruddy here mentioned?"
"I am."
"His eldest son?"
"His only son."
"You can prove that, I suppose?"
"Troth, it was never disputed."
"I mean there would be no difficulty in getting legal and documentaryproof."
"I think not, for my father said after my first fight, that it mightbe questioned whether I was my mother's son or no,--there was no doubtthat I was his."
The legal man drew down his brows at this, but made no comment as, intones that betrayed little interest in the affair, he demanded:
"Why did your father not claim this property during his lifetime?"
"Well, you see, Mr. Brooks, my father was an honest man, and he neverpretended the property was his. From what I remember of hisconversation on the subject the Earl and him was in a tight placeafter a battle in France, and it was thought they would both be madeprisoners. The Earl had his deeds with him, and if he were caught theenemy would demand a large ransom for him, for these would show him tobe a man of property. So he made the estate over to my father, and myfather ran the risk of being captured and taken for the Earl ofWestport. Now that I have been made happy by the acquaintance of hislordship, I'm thinking that if my father had fallen into the hands ofthe enemy he might have remained there till this day without the Earlraising a hand to help him. Nobody in England would have disputed theEarl's ownership of his own place, which I understand has been in hisfamily for hundreds of years, so they might very well have got onwithout the deeds, as in fact they have done. That's all I know aboutit."
"Then, sir," said Mr. Brooks, "do you intend to contest the ownershipof the property on the strength of these documents?"
"I do," said I firmly.
"Very well. You must leave them with me for a few days until I getopinion upon them. I may say I have grave doubts of your succeeding insuch litigation unless you can prove that your father gave reasonableconsideration for the property made over to him."
"Troth, he'd no consideration to give except his own freedom and theloan of a pair of breeches, and it seems that the Earl never troubledhis head whether he gave the first-named or not. He might have givenhis life for all the thanks his son got from my Lord of Westport."
"From a rapid glance at these instruments I can see that they may beof great value to his lordship, but I doubt their being of any valueat all to you; in fact you might find the tables turned upon you, andbe put in the position of a fraudulent claimant or a levier ofblackmail."
"It's not blackmail I'm going to levy at all," cried I, "but thewhitest of white mail. I have not the slightest intention of goinginto the courts of law; but, to tell you the plain truth about it,Lady Mary and me are going to get married in spite of all the Earlsthat ever drank, or all the Countesses that ever scolded. Now thisdear girl has a great confidence in you, and she has sent me to you tofind what's best to be done. I want nothing of this property at all.Sure I've estates enough of my own in Ireland, and a good castleforby, save that the roof leaks a little in places; but a bundle ofstraw will soon set that to rights, only old Patsy is so lazy throughnot getting his money regular. Now it struck me that if I went boldlyto Brede Castle, or whatever it is, and took possession of it, therewould first be the finest scrimmage any man ever saw outside ofIreland, and after that his lordship the Earl would say to me,--
"'O'Ruddy, my boy, my limbs are sore; can't we crack a bottle insteadof our heads over this, and make a compromise?'
"'Earl of Westport,' I'll say to him, 'a bottle will be but thebeginning of it. We'll sit down at a table and settle this debate inten minutes if you're reasonable.'
"He'll not be reasonable, of course, but you see what I have in mymind."
"Brede Place," said the lawyer slowly, "is not exactly a castle, butit's a very strong house and might be held by a dozen determined menagainst an army."
"Then once let me get legally inside, and I'll hold it till the Earlgets more sense in his head than is there at the present moment."
"Possession," said Mr. Brooks, "is nine points of the law."
"It is with a woman," said I, thinking of something else.
"It is with an estate," answered Josiah severely.
"True for you," I admitted, coming back to the point at issue, for itwas curious, in spite of the importance of the interview, how my mindkept wandering away to a locked room in the Earl of Westport's house,and to a shady path that ran around the edge of his garden.
"I intend to get possession of th
e Brede estate if I have to crack thecrown of every man at present upon it. But I am an Irishman, andtherefore a person of peace, and I wish to crack the crowns inaccordance with the law of England, so I come to you for directionshow it should be done."
"It is not my place," said Brooks, looking very sour, "to counsel aman to break either heads or the law. In fact it is altogether illegalto assault another unless you are in danger of your own life."
"The blessing of all the Saints be upon you," said I, "yet, ever sinceI set foot in this land, coming across the boiling seas, entirely todo a kindness to the Earl of Westport, I have gone about in fear of mylife."
"You have surely not been assaulted?" demanded Mr. Brooks, raising hiseyebrows in surprise.
"Assaulted, is it? I have been set upon in every manner that ispossible for a peace-lover to be interfered with. To tell you thetruth, no longer ago than yesterday morning, as quiet and decent aSunday as ever came down on London, my two innocent servants,garrulous creatures that wouldn't hurt a fly, were lured into the highwalled garden of the Earl of Westport to see the flowers which both ofthem love, and there they were pounced upon by the whole body-guard ofmy lord the Earl, while himself and his quiet-mannered Countess werethere to urge them on. Doctor Chord, a little snobbish creature,basking in the smiles of their noble countenances, stood by and gavemedical advice showing where best to hit the poor innocentunfortunates that had fallen into their hands."
"Tut, tut!" said Josiah Brooks, his face frowning like a storm-cloudover the hills of Donegal. "If such is indeed the case, an actionwould lie--"
"Oh, well and as far as that goes, so would Doctor Chord, and all therest that was there. My poor lads lie now, bruised and sore, in theupper rooms of the stable at the 'Pig and Turnip.' They want no moreaction, I can tell you, nor lying either."
"You can prove, then," said the lawyer, "that you have sufferedviolence from the outset."
"Indeed and I could."
"Well, well, we must look into the matter. You recite a most curiousaccumulation of offences, each of which bears a serious penaltyaccording to the law of England. But there is another matter mentionedin Lady Mary's letter which is even more grave than any yet alludedto."
"And what is that?" I asked in surprise.
"She says that she wishes to have advanced to you, upon the securityof these papers, five hundred golden guineas."
"Do you tell me that now?" I cried with delight. "Sure I have alwayssaid that Mary was the most sensible girl within the boundaries ofthis realm."
"That may all be; but women, you see, know little of money or themethods of obtaining it."
"You're right in that," I admitted. "It's the other end of the stickthey hold; they know a good deal of the way of spending it."
"You will understand," went on Mr. Brooks, "that if money is to beraised on the security of these documents, your rights in possessingthem must be severely scrutinized, while--you will pardon my sayingso--the security of your estates in Ireland might be looked at askanceby the money-lenders of London."
"Oh, don't let the estates in Ireland trouble you, for themoney-lenders of Dublin have already mortgaged them a foot deep. Youcan raise little on my estates in Ireland but the best turf you everburned, and that's raised with a spade."
"Very well," said Josiah Brooks, gathering up the papers and tyingthem together with a bit of red ribbon which he took out of hisdrawer, ignoring the Irish cord that had held them through all theiremergencies. "Very well, I shall seek advice and let you know theresult."
"Seek advice," I cried. "Sure a man of your attainments doesn't needto seek advice of any one. Aren't you learned in the law yourself?"
"I must have counsel's opinion," said Josiah solemnly, as if he werespeaking of the decisions of Providence.
"Well, you astonish me, Mr. Brooks, for I thought you knew it all, andthat's why I came to you; but perhaps it's only your own modesty thatmakes you reluctant to speak of your attainments, though I supposewhat you really mean is that you want to take a pipe in your mouth anda glass of good liquor at your elbow and read the papers at yourleisure."
Mr. Josiah Brooks was a solemn man, and he did not appear to relishthe picture I so graphically drew of him, when in truth I was thinkingonly of his own comfort; so I changed the subject with an alertness ofmind which perhaps he was incapable of appreciating.
"How far from London is this estate of Brede?" I asked, "and how doyou get to it?"
"It is fifty or sixty miles away," he said, "and lies in the county ofSussex, close to the sea, but not on it. If you wish to visit Bredeestate," he went on, as if I had not been telling him I was going todo that very thing in force, "if you wish to visit Brede estate, thebest plan is to go to Rye and there engage a guide who will lead youto it."
"Rye," said I in astonishment, wondering where I had heard the namebefore; then, suddenly remembering, I said:
"Rye is a seaport town, is it not?"
"It is," agreed Mr. Brooks.
"Rye is the spot," rejoined I, "where Father Donovan will embark onhis pilgrimage to Rome. Sure, and I'm glad to hear that, for the goodold man and I will travel there together, and the blessing ofProvidence will surround me, which I hope will be helpful if theEarl's cut-throats bar the way, as is more than likely."
"Very well, Mr. O'Ruddy, as you are doubtless impatient to know theresult, you may call upon me to-morrow afternoon at four o'clock, andI may be in a position to give you more information than I can offerat present."
I took that as a dismissal, and, getting up, shook him warmly by thehand, although his arm was as stiff as a pump handle, and he seemed totake little pleasure in the farewell. And so I left the Temple, thatwas as lonely as the road between Innishannon and the sea, and trudgedout into Fleet Street, which was as lively as Skibbereen Fair. I wasso overjoyed to find that my journey lay in the same direction asFather Donovan's that I tramped on westward till after some trouble Ifound the priest's house in which he was stopping, to tell the goodfather that I would go part of the way to Rome with him. He was indeeddelighted to see me, and introduced me to his host, Father Kilnane,nearly as fine a man and as good a priest as Father Donovan himself.
We had dinner there all together at mid-day, and I invited FatherDonovan to come out and see the town with me, which he did. Thepeaceful father clung to my arm in a kind of terror at what he waswitnessing, for he was as innocent of the ways of a big town as if hehad been a gossoon from a hedge-school in Ireland. Yet he was mightilyinterested in all he saw, and asked me many thousand questions thatday, and if I did not know the correct answer to them, it made nodiffer to Father Donovan, for he did not know the answer himself andtook any explanation as if it was as true as the gospels he studiedand preached.
Daylight was gone before we got back to the house he lodged in, andnothing would do but I must come in and have a bit of supper, althoughI told him that supper would be waiting for me at the "Pig andTurnip." It had been agreed between us that we would travel togetheras far as Rye, and that there I should see him off on his tempestuousvoyage to Dunkirk or Calais, as the case might be. The old man wasmightily delighted to find that our ways lay together through thesouth of England. He was pleased to hear that I had determined on myrights through the courts of law, with no more sword-playing andviolence, which, to tell the truth, until it reached its height, theold man was always against; although, when a quarrel came to itsutmost interesting point, I have seen Father Donovan fidget in hiscassock, and his eyes sparkle with the glow of battle, although uptill then he had done his best to prevent the conflict.
It was getting late when I neared the "Pig and Turnip," and there wasa good deal of turmoil in the streets. I saw one or two prettydebates, but, remembering my new resolution to abide by law and order,I came safely past them and turned up the less-frequented street thatheld my inn, when at the corner, under the big lamp, a young man withsomething of a swagger about him, in spite of the meanness of hisdress, came out from the shadow of the wall and looked me hard in
theface.
"Could you direct me, sir, to a hostelry they call the 'Pig andTurnip'?" he asked with great civility.
"If you will come with me," said I, "I'll bring you to the placeitself, for that's where I'm stopping."
"Is it possible," he said, "that I have the honour of addressing TheO'Ruddy?"
"That great privilege is yours," said I, coming to a standstill in themiddle of the street, as I saw the young man had his sword drawn andpressed close against his side to allay suspicion. I forgot all aboutlaw and order, and had my own blade free of the scabbard on theinstant; but the young man spoke smoothly and made no motion ofattack, which was very wise of him.
"Mr. O'Ruddy," he says, "we are both men of the world and sensible menand men of peace. Where two gentlemen, one down on his luck and theother in prosperity, have a private matter to discuss between them, Ithink this discussion should take place quietly and in even tones ofvoice."
"Sir," said I, giving my sword-hand a little shake, so that the weaponsettled down into its place, "Sir, you express my sentiments exactly,and as you are a stranger to me perhaps you will be good enough toannounce the subject that concerns us."
"I may say at the outset," he remarked almost in a whisper, so politehe was, "that I have eight good swordsmen at my back, who are notvisible until I give the signal; therefore you see, sir, that yourchances are of the slightest if I should be compelled to call uponthem. I know the fame of The O'Ruddy as a swordsman, and you may takeit as a compliment, sir, that I should hesitate to meet you alone. Somuch for saving my own skin, but I am a kindly man and would like tosave your skin as well. Therefore if you will be kind enough to handto me the papers which you carry in your pocket, you will put me understrong obligations, and at the same time sleep peaceably to-night atthe 'Pig and Turnip' instead of here in the gutter, to be picked up bythe watch, for I can assure you, sir, as a man that knows the town,the watch will not be here to save you whatever outcry you may make."
"I am obliged to you, sir, for your discourse and your warning, toboth of which I have paid strict attention; and in the interests ofthat peace which we are each of us so loath to break I may announce toyou that the papers you speak of are not in my possession."
"Pardon me, sir, but they must be; for we have searched your roomthoroughly, and we have also searched your servants."
"A thief of the night," cried I with mighty indignation, "may easilysearch an honest man's room; and his poor servants, beaten and bruisedby your master's orders, would fall easy victims to the strength andnumbers of your ruffians; but you will find it a difficult matter tosearch me."
"Sir," he replied, bowing as polite as Palermo, "I grieve to statethat you are in error. The searching of both your servants and yourrooms was accomplished, not through the employment of force, but bythe power of money. Your servants insisted they had nothing on theirpersons but liniment, and they accepted one gold piece each to allowme to verify their statements. Another gold piece gave me, for a time,the freedom of your room. If you have not the papers upon you, thenthere is no harm in allowing me to run my hand over your clothes,because the package is a bulky one and I will speedily corroborateyour statement."
"Sir," said I, not to be outdone in courtesy by this gentleman of thegutter, "I will tell you truthfully that I have nothing on me but mysword, and to that you are quite welcome if you leave to me the choiceof which end I hold and which I present to you,"--and with that Isprang with my back to the wall, under the lamp, leaving myselfpartially in shadow, but having spread in front of me a semicircle oflight which any assailant attacking must cross, or indeed remain inits effulgence if he would keep free of the point of my blade.
"It grieves me to find that you are a man of violence," replied thescoundrel in the mildest of tones, "and you will bear witnessafterward that I did my best to keep you from harm."
"I freely acknowledge it now," said I. "Bring on your men."
To tell the truth, I had no belief at all in the existence of his force,and thought he was playing a game on me, hoping to take me unawares; forif the man knew anything at all he must have known what a swordsman Iwas, and it was no charge of cowardice against him that he was loath tocome to close quarters with me. I speedily discovered, however, that allhe said was true; for he gave a low whistle, and out of the darknessinstantly sprang seven or eight as malicious-looking villains as a manwould care to see, each one with a sword in his hand.
As many erroneous and exaggerated accounts of this encounter have beengiven in the coffee-houses, and even in the public prints, it is wellthat I should now tell the truth about it. No man that has the hang ofhis blade need fear the onset of a mob except in one case, and that isthis,--if the whole eight set upon me at once with every swordextended, there was a chance that though I might, by great expertness,disable half of them, the other half would run me through. But itshould never be forgotten that these men were fighting for money, andI was fighting for my life, and that makes all the difference in theworld. Each man makes a show of attack, but he holds off, hoping thatone of the others will dare to thrust. This is fatal to success, butnot necessarily fatal to their intended victim. An active man with awall at his back can generally account for all that comes in front ofhim if he is deeply in earnest and has not too much liquor in him. Itastonished London that I was able to defeat eight men, each one ofwhom was armed as efficiently as myself; but, as my father used tosay, if you are not wholly taken up with the determination to have aman's life, you may pink him in what spot you choose if you give alittle thought to the matter. The great object is the disarming of theenemy. Now, if you give a man a jab in the knuckles, or if you runyour blade delicately up his arm from the wrist to the elbow, this iswhat happens. The man involuntarily yells out, and as involuntarilydrops his sword on the flags. If you prick a man on the knuckle-bone,he will leave go his sword before he has time to think, it being anaction entirely unconscious on his part, just like winking your eye ordrawing your breath; yet I have seen men run through the body who keptsword in hand and made a beautiful lunge with it even as theystaggered across the threshold of death's door.
Now I had no desire for any of these men's lives, but I determined tohave their swords. I glittered my own shining blade before their eyes,flourishing a semicircle with it, and making it dart here and therelike the tongue of an angry snake; and instantly every man in front ofme felt uncomfortable, not knowing where the snake was going to sting,and then, as I said before, they were fighting for money and not forhonour. When I had dazzled their eyes for a moment with thissword-play and bewildered their dull brains, I suddenly changed mytactics and thrust forward quicker than you can count one, two, three,four, five, six, seven, eight,--and each man was holding a bleedingfist to his mouth, while the swords clattered on the cobbles like hailon the copper roof of a cathedral. It was the most beautiful andcomplete thing I ever saw. I then swept the unarmed men back a pace ortwo with a flirt of my weapon, and walked up the pavement, kicking theswords together till they lay in a heap at my feet. The chief ruffianstood there dazed, with his sword still in his hand, for he hadstepped outside the circle, he acting as captain, and depending on themen to do the work.
"Drop that," I shouted, turning on him, and he flung his sword in thestreet as if it was red hot.
"Sir," said I to him, "a sword in your hand is merely aninconvenience to you; see if you don't look better with an armful ofthem. Pick up these nine blades in a bundle and walk on before me tothe 'Pig and Turnip.' When we come into the courtyard of that tavern,you are to turn round and make me the lowest bow you can withoutrubbing your nose against the pavement. Then you will say, asgracefully as the words can be uttered:
"'Mr. O'Ruddy,' you say, 'these swords are yours by right of conquest.You have defeated nine armed men to-night in less than as manyminutes, so I present you with the spoil.' Then you will bow to thepeople assembled in the courtyard,--for there is aways a mob of themthere, late and early,--and you will make another low obeisance to me.If you do all this
acceptably to my sense of politeness, I will letyou go unmolested; but if you do otherwise, I will split your gulletfor you."
"Sir," said the captain, "I accept your terms."
With that he stooped and picked up the bundle of weapons, marching onstolidly before me till he came to the "Pig and Turnip." All the resthad disappeared in the darkness, and had gone to their dens, verylikely to nurse sore knuckles and regret the loss of good stoutblades.
Our coming to the tavern caused a commotion, as you may well imagine;and although I don't make too much of the encounter, yet it is mybelief that such an incident never happened in London before. Thecaptain carried out his part of the presentation with an air ofdeference and a choice of good language that charmed me; then hebacked out under the archway to the street, bowing six or seven timesas he went. I had never any fault to find with the man's manner. Paddyand Jem, now seemingly quite recovered from their misusage of Sunday,stood back of the group with eyes and mouths open, gazing upon me withan admiration I could not but appreciate.
"Come out of that," said I, "and take this cutlery up to my room," andthey did.
I sat down at the table and wrote a letter to Mr. Brooks.
"Sir," said I in it, "I don't know whether I am plaintiff or defendantin the suit that's coming on, but whichever it is here's a bundle oflegal evidence for your use. You mentioned the word 'violence' to mewhen I had the pleasure of calling on you. This night I was set uponby nine ruffians, who demanded from me the papers now in yourpossession. I took their knives from them, so they would not hurtthemselves or other people, and I send you these knives to be filedfor reference."
I tied up the swords in two bundles, and in the morning sent Paddy andJem off with them and the letter to the Temple, which caused greatcommotion in that peaceable quarter of the city, and sent forth therumour that all the lawyers were to be at each other's throats nextday.
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