by Eva Haining
“Hey. Sorry I couldn’t talk earlier, and even more sorry that I missed the big opening today.”
“Yeah, me, too.” She looks wounded that I’m not just telling her it’s fine. “So, what was the big emergency with your manager that made you cancel your plans?”
“It’s complicated.” She has the good sense to sound embarrassed by her lame attempt at an explanation.
“Complicated? Like how I called you earlier, and you’d left your phone in your ex-fuck buddy’s hotel room?”
“What? I wasn’t in his room. I wasn’t even at his hotel.”
“Okay, then tell me what’s so complicated?”
“Not when you seem to be judge, jury, and executioner right now.”
“Great, so I don’t get to be pissed by the fact that the prick you used to sleep with answered your phone and told me how much you enjoy sucking his cock? He was sure to let me know that I’m slow on the uptake. You’re a rising star, and there’s no room for a hometown farm boy in your future.”
“What the fuck? Slow your roll.”
“Oh, what else was it he said? I remember now… the label doesn’t want you coupled up because they want the red-blooded men of America to think they have a shot with you. I ruin your image.”
“The label thing is true, but the rest of it is bullshit.”
“Fucking great.” I hang up the call, not because I want to hurt her or punish her, but because I don’t want to say something I’ll regret when I calm down. I’m going to fucking end that manager of hers, and I’m going to enjoy it.
Twenty
BELLE
I frantically try to call Knox again, but he doesn’t pick up. I’m going to fire Stuart if I lose Knox over his barefaced lies. After the fifth time trying to call back, I give up and type out a text. At least I’ll be able to see if he reads it.
Me: Will you let me explain? It’s not what you think.
No answer.
Me: Stuart was lying. I wasn’t in his room. I hate that he said stuff about our past, but that’s exactly what it is. The past. Please talk to me.
Still no answer. I understand that he’s pissed. I missed his big day, and then Stuart talking about me giving him blowjobs was totally shit. If I were in Kingsbury Falls and one of Knox’s former lovers told me how much he enjoyed having his head between her thighs, I’d be upset. No one wants to linger on the fact that there’s a body count. Big or small, it sucks.
Me: We’re flying out to NY tomorrow. I understand if you don’t want to come, but I hope you will. I know I don’t have the right to ask after missing today, but I love you. The reason I missed the flight was because I was fighting the execs at the label on the ‘single’ status.
When he doesn’t respond, I feel totally lost, and I hate it. I don’t depend on anyone but myself, and I don’t want Knox to have enough power over me to affect me this much. The longer I sit willing my phone to ring, I start getting pissed off at Stuart and Knox. I can only deal with one of them directly right now, so I grab my keys and head for the door.
“You’re going to rip the door off its hinges if you pull it any harder.” Johnny comes padding down the hallway.
“I’m going to kill Stuart. I’ll replace the damn door.”
“Okay, stop for a minute and tell me what the hell is going on? Why are we killing him, and do I need a shovel to bury the body?” He flashes me that beautiful smile of his, and it calms me just enough to stay put and talk to him.
“We’re going to need more than one shovel. I plan on cutting off his balls and making him eat them before I butcher him into tiny pieces.” The thought that I ever slept with him makes me want to vomit right now. I’d rather be in a tub full of leeches than touch him again.
“What the hell did he do?”
“When we were at his office earlier, he must have answered my phone while I was in the restroom. Knox called, and he spewed a bunch of horseshit about me leaving my phone in his hotel room. Then he told him what the execs are saying about me needing to seem single.”
“What a dick. If you don’t murder him, I will.”
“It gets better. Then he went on to talk about how much I love sucking his dick.”
Johnny swipes his jacket from the back of the couch and hustles me out the front door before slamming it shut behind us. “He’s dead. Give me the keys, Blue Bell.”
“You don’t need to fight my battles for me, I’m not a kid anymore.”
“I’m well aware that you’re a ball buster. You don’t need me to do anything for you, but I really want to knock him the fuck out right now.”
I know better than to argue with him when he clenches his jaw so tight, it begins to tick. Johnny slides into the driver’s seat and revs up the engine before reversing so fast it gives me whiplash. He’s a speed demon at the best of times, but today he’s just blatantly speeding, and I’m pretty sure he just ran a red light. We’re just lucky there isn’t a cop car on the way to Stuart’s hotel.
Pulling up to the valet parking, Johnny practically jumps out of the car and throws the keys to the valet. “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you don’t park it. This isn’t going to take long.”
I hurry in behind him, trying to keep up. When we reach the concierge, Johnny starts demanding to know Stuart’s room number. It’s absolutely the wrong approach, so I shove him aside and give the staff my best conspiratorial smile.
“Hi. Could you please call up to Stuart Todd’s room and tell him Mirabelle James is in the lobby?” She seems reluctant, but when I lean in and lower my voice, she comes around. “He’s my booty call, and he finally agreed to the devil’s threesome, if you know what I mean.” I nod in Johnny’s direction. “Do a girl a solid and help me out.” She looks Johnny up and down as if he’s prime rib and she’s starving.
She makes the call, and when prompted by Stuart, she hands me the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”
I take it and blow out a long, steadying breath before speaking. “Your little game worked. Knox dumped me. I’m pissed at him and at you, but I need some angry sex. You game? I’ve got a bottle of tequila and questionable morals.”
As expected, he laps it up. It’s a sad indictment of my willingness to get drunk and slutty with him in the past.
“Glad you came to your senses, Belle. Come on up. I’m in room 461.”
“And Stuart, you better be naked when you answer the door.” I can’t resist, and Johnny isn’t happy as we head for the elevator.
“Why the fuck did you say that? I have no desire to see that asshole’s junk. Now I can’t beat the shit out of him. I’m not going to rough and tumble with a naked guy.”
“I don’t need to be bailing you out of jail on top of everything else. I just want to make a point, and if he doesn’t fix his fucking attitude, we’ll be looking for a new manager.”
“I already assumed that he’s done as far as the band goes.”
“I’m not going to be hasty because of one incident. Am I pissed off? Yes. Am I going to fuck over the band’s best interests over this? No.”
“He told your boyfriend that you love sucking his cock!”
“I’m well aware of that, Johnny. I have the ignored calls and texts to prove it. I can’t deal with Knox right now because he didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
“Why the hell do you seem more pissed at Knox than you do at Stuart? Give the guy a break. He’s been nothing but good to you and me. If I were in love with someone and had cock sucking rubbed in my face, I’d need a minute to calm the fuck down. Did you think for a second that maybe he’s not talking right now because he doesn’t want to go off on one?”
When he says it like that, I feel like a colossal bitch.
“Ugh. Let’s just go and make our point to Stuart, and then I’ll deal with Knox. I hate that I missed his grand opening today, and I don’t even get a minute to be pissed at the execs. Why the fuck should it matter if I have a boyfriend or not? They didn’t tell you guys you need to be
single.”
“They know we’re single and basically a band of manwhores. Maybe it would be different if any of us were in a serious relationship. I’m not saying they should be telling you to hide it, and I get why you’re not cool with it.”
As the elevator doors open, my stomach lurches up into my throat. I hate confrontation, and I’m so amped up right now, I know I’m likely to say something awful.
Johnny is rapping his knuckles on Stuart’s door before I’m even out of the elevator. I can hear him talking from inside. “I was wondering how long it would take you to come to your senses, sweetheart.” When he opens the door, he’s met with Johnny’s fist to his face, and I can’t help but laugh as he stumbles back, his junk flapping in the breeze.
“What the fuck?” He scrambles to his feet and grabs the bedsheet to cover himself.
“That’s my line. What the fuck, Stuart? Why the hell would you lie to Knox and slut-shame me in the process?”
“It was the quickest way to deal with the problem.”
I shove Johnny out the way, ready to throw the next punch. “My love life isn’t a problem you can solve by sabotaging me. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
“Look at the big picture. He’s a farmer for God’s sake. It was never going to work, and I’m the one who got chewed out for your outburst with the guys from the label. People keep this shit under wraps all the time. I got you this far, didn’t I? My job is to manage, and getting rid of him makes sense long-term. In time, you’ll see that.”
“I should fire you on the spot. Johnny wants me to. I know how much you’ve done for us, but if you so much as breathe in Knox’s direction, you’ll be done. Talking about me giving you head is really low, and I expected better from you. I didn’t even know him then, and I thought you respected me enough not to talk about me like that.” I can see the penny drop.
“I do. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of your success.”
“That’s not your decision to make. I’m not going to sell my soul to get on the radio.”
“It must be nice in your world where you think you haven’t already signed away your soul on the dotted line. You’re under contract. The label owns you now, and if they want you single, you’re single.”
“Then they can get fucked. I’m in love with Knox. This isn’t some stupid fling, it’s the real deal. So you either get on board and help me navigate this, or you can find a new band to manage. What’s it going to be, Stuart?”
“I’ll sort it out. I won’t let you down.”
“You better not, or I’ll bury you where no one will ever find your body,” Johnny interjects. “Now put some fucking clothes on and do your damn job. Belle’s not lying about Knox, and if you meddle in their relationship again, you’re fired. Got it?”
“Yes. I was only trying to do what’s in the best interests of everyone.”
“So it’s not that you’re jealous she found someone?”
“It smarts a little, so I’m not going to lie. I took satisfaction in riling the cowboy, and it served my purposes. The execs have been breathing down my neck. You guys already pushed them a month for Johnny here’s rehab, then Belle up and left to go to the cowboy’s side for a funeral, and now they’re saying if I can’t keep you in line with their vision, they’ll find someone else to manage you. I was backed into a corner, and I did the wrong thing.”
I search his gaze for even a hint that he’s lying, but he seems genuinely sorry.
“We were a convenience, Stuart, nothing else. You said it yourself. Now, we need to adjust to a strictly professional relationship, and if you can’t get on board with Knox being part of my future, then you need to go. It would sadden me, truly. You have been an amazing manager and a big part of how we got to where we are now. It would suck if you didn’t get to enjoy it with us out of ego and male pride.”
“I get it. We’re all about Knox. This is the last time you’ll see my junk.”
“Exactly.”
“If you want one last look, I can drop the sheet,” he says with a wry grin.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Seeing as I offered, I feel like you should extend the same courtesy. Give me one last look at that rack of yours.” I know he’s just winding me up, but I still feel the need to reiterate my point.
“Yeah, dream on. It’s comments like those that’ll get you buried in a shallow grave on Knox’s farm.”
“An eternity on a farm? No-fucking-thank-you.”
Johnny is still simmering at my side. “Are we done here? I still have a butt-load of adrenaline and no one to punch.”
“I didn’t say you can’t punch him again. He totally deserves at least one more smack in the mouth.”
“Only one? I guess I better save it for Knox. He’ll pack a bigger punch than me, anyway. He’s corn-fed and tough as nails. Just make sure I get to watch. Now let’s go. We’ve got a flight to catch in the morning.”
As we head for the door, Stuart shows genuine remorse. “I really am sorry, Belle. I was thinking with my cock and my wallet.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Making our way to the elevator, I agree with Johnny—I have a surge of adrenaline and no outlet for it. If I didn’t have to go the New York first thing in the morning, I’d already be on my way to Kingsbury Falls.
Neither of us speak on the drive home, lost in our own thoughts, but as we pull into the parking garage at my apartment, I say what’s been on my mind the entire way here.
“Do you think he’ll come to New York?”
“Who? Stuart? He has to, he’s our manager.”
“No, I mean Knox.”
“If he has an iota of sense in that cowboy brain of his, he’ll be there. You’re a catch, Blue Bell. I don’t understand why you never believe it.”
“You do understand because you’re the same way. No one emerges from our kind of upbringing without a few battle scars. I medicate with sex. You do it with drugs and sex.”
“At least I can still have one of those things,” he jokes, but I know he’s struggling with the events of the past few months.
“Have all the sex you want, my friend. At least it won’t almost kill you.”
“If she’s doing it right, it could.”
“You know what I mean. How are you doing? I’ve been so wrapped up in my own crap, I’m a shitty friend right now.”
“You’re not shitty. I’m doing okay. The constant desire to go and score some coke is exhausting, but it really helps having you around. I appreciate you letting me come and stay with you. I’m not being overdramatic when I say you’re a lifesaver.”
“You know you’ll always have a place with me. I sort of like having you around.”
“It’s my quick wit and good looks. No woman can resist the dimples.”
“I see your ego has remained intact.”
“It’s directly linked to my cock. Every day when I wake up to my colossal morning wood, I thank my lucky stars that I rock a better boner than most mortal men.”
“Jesus Christ. Things I don’t need to know.”
When we get inside, I head straight for my bedroom under the guise of packing for our trip. In reality, I sit staring at my phone, willing myself not to call Knox and hoping the opposite is the case for him.
My night goes by in waking silence. I can’t sleep, and it takes every ounce of self-restraint not to call him. Tomorrow morning I get on a plane to really kickstart this new life of mine, and the thought of doing it without him leaves me heartbroken. And yet, I did that same thing to him today. Maybe he’s right not to come.
I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life. There’s a huge crowd outside Radio City, and the stage is set on the roof. I’m afraid of heights, but this is the ultimate rock and roll moment. Something we’ll all remember for the rest of our lives. The guys look amazing, and Johnny is happier than I’ve seen him in a really long time.
I’m primped and preened to within an inch of my life, and I can barely
see through the false lashes they glued onto my eyelids. My hands are shaking—in fact, it’s not just my hands—my entire body is radiating nervous energy.
“Breathe, Blue Bell. This is supposed to be the fun part.” Johnny pulls me into his arms, much to the dismay of my stylist.
“Do not mess up her makeup. You’re on in ten.” She scurries off, and Johnny holds me a little tighter.
“I’ve got you. You’re shaking. I know you better than anyone, and you don’t get nervous about going on stage. What’s up?”
“I really hoped he’d come.”
“I know you’re disappointed, but it’s not over. This is just a blip. If you want him, you need to fight for it. This shit ain’t easy. The timing sucks, but you can have so many other moments to celebrate together. This is just one. There’s more out there if you want it.”
“I do. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I don’t know if I can go out there.”
“Of course, you can. We’ve been through a lot together, and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re the strongest person I know. I’m going to be right there beside you the whole time. If you want to win the cowboy, nothing says grand gesture like singing a love song for all of New York to hear.”
“Doesn’t matter if New York hears it. I need him to hear it.”
“I’ll hear it just fine, girl.” His deep, southern drawl is unmistakable. I whip around and out of Johnny’s arms. It’s him. He’s here.
I just about knock him to the ground as I launch myself into his arms. “You came!”
“Of course, I did. My girl is about to sing on the roof of Radio City. It’s a pretty big deal.” He slides his hands up and into my hair, his lips crashing down on mine, claiming me in a fierce kiss. As our tongues twist and tangle in a sultry dance, my nerves dissipate, and only joy and excitement remain.
“What the hell are you doing?” my stylist shouts from across the room.
Knox pulls back, relinquishing my mouth, and that’s when I see his lips covered in the dusty pink of my lip gloss. I can only imagine how much of a riot I look right now. His fists in my hair can’t have helped at all, but that kiss was totally worth it.
