“What was he doing in your room?” Mac questioned.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Mac was going to be pissed—really pissed. I tried to change the subject. “I need to find a passport. I think I should go north into Canada.”
“Christ. That’s not happening. Why was Steve in your room?” Mac bit out.
No way was I telling him that. He’d lose his ever-loving mind.
“Seriously, Mac. I was only staying in that shit hole because I had to toss my last identity. I will be safe in Canada. Frankie doesn’t have reach out of the country,” I lied. “And you’ll be safe once you’re away from me.” I prayed that last part was true. Maybe my brother’s hitmen would lose interest in Mac once they figured out that he couldn’t lead them to me.
“Serious as shit! Why the fuck was that man in your goddamned room?” Mac all but shouted.
Mac’s temper didn’t seem to have the same impact on Reid that it had on me. Reid never flinched and remained silent as he continued to drive us down the highway, unaffected by Mac’s outburst.
“He was going to drive me to Oregon,” I rushed out.
“Come again?” Mac growled, and I fought back a shiver. I loved when his voice got deep and rumbly.
“He was going to drive me to Oregon?” I repeated, this time posing it as a question.
When Mac didn’t speak for several minutes I spoke, mainly to break the silence. “Aiden?” I wasn’t sure how I was going to justify my folly, but I had to try.
“Don’t. I am fighting back the urge to commit murder at the same time trying not to pull you over my knee in a moving vehicle and redden your ass for being so foolish. He could’ve raped you.”
His words made me flinch. That was exactly what Steve was trying to do. Not that I would confirm that to Mac in his present state of mind. However, I didn’t need him reminding me of the fact when I had lived it not thirty minutes ago. To think I’d felt relief when I heard Steve’s voice outside the hotel room door and not my brother’s men. I let him in. I’d happily opened my door to a man that wanted to violate me. I was so stupid. If Mac and Reid hadn’t shown up when they did… I couldn’t let my mind go there. I had to stay focused on my current situation and not the what-ifs.
“Good thing you’re done with that shit. No more hitchhiking with fucking truckers.”
“You’re right. I’ll be more careful.”
The growl that came from Mac was not the kind that made my belly whoosh; he sounded like a frustrated wild beast getting ready to kill its prey. “Jesus, Laura. Pull your head out of your ass. There won’t be a next time for you to be more careful. When I said you’re done with that shit, I meant—you are done. No more running. No more hiding. And definitely no more going at it alone.”
If it was possible for my heart to actually break a rib from pounding so hard, there was no doubt I’d have a few cracked. Mac had no idea what he was saying. I couldn’t stop running. My brother would never stop, and he’d kill anyone who got in his way. I’d seen it firsthand. I’d hid in the shadows of my family home and watched my brother kill a young boy right before he tortured the boy’s mother. The woman’s husband, the boy’s father, sat tied to a chair, bloodied and beaten, begging for Frankie to stop. Even Frankie’s men grimaced as he delivered blow after blow to the woman. The same way he beat me. He was relentless.
“Breathe, baby,” Mac cooed, reaching in the back seat, grabbing my hand. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“You can’t stop them,” I explained.
I watched as Mac’s face got hard, his normally kissable lips flattening into two thin lines. “You don’t trust I can keep you safe?”
I shook my head. He wasn’t getting it. It didn’t matter how much I trusted Mac, Frankie would find a way to kill us all. He wouldn’t care that Mac was a cop, or Reid was some badass private investigator, or Ava and Reid’s kids were sweet and innocent.
Frankie Russo would rain hellfire down and kill every last one of us. I had to find a way to escape.
I fell silent for the long drive back to the city. Most of the drive, I pretended I was asleep and there wasn’t much verbal communication between Reid and Mac either. The few times I cracked my eyes open, Mac was on his phone, tapping on the screen. I took the opportunity to study his profile, memorizing the fine lines around his eyes, how his brow crinkled when he was concentrating, how his nose had a perfect slope leading to a pair of lips that I knew from experience could do the most mind-blowing things.
All the while I laid in the back seat and plotted my escape. Now I was not only running from my deranged brother but the man that was quite possibly the love of my life.
I hated Frankie fucking Russo.
9
it’s way over
Mac
Reid was being unusually quiet on the drive, allowing me time in my head to sort my shit out. Laura had all but admitted she didn’t trust me. She didn’t believe I could keep her alive. As much as it pissed me the fuck off, I couldn’t blame her. She had been around when I let Ava and JJ down. Ava had been kidnapped on my watch, by Carl—a fellow cop. I’d missed all the signs. I hadn’t noticed that Ava was being stalked and a crazy man was planning on taking her so he could live out some sick and twisted fantasy. Yeah, Laura knew all about Carl, and how Rick had also died because of my shortcomings. If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own shit, I would’ve noticed the sick fuck had stolen Ava’s spare key I’d kept in my desk at the station. He’d made a copy and used it to let himself into her house. My stomach rolled at the memory, at the thought of what he’d been doing alone in her house. That was on me, and it would never matter Ava said she didn’t blame me, that it wasn’t my fault—it was. I was careless and Ava, JJ, Reid, and ultimately, Rick had paid the price.
I was about to ask Reid if he’d put Austin and Dustin on Laura until I could get the situation with Russo under control when he rolled to a stop in front of a house.
“Where are we?” I asked when Reid pulled the keys out of the ignition.
“A safe house,” he replied. I took in my surroundings and cocked my head. “There are places even you don’t know I own,” Reid explained.
“Austin and Dustin available?” I asked.
“Nope.”
Before I could question Reid as to why his men were unavailable, he was out of his truck and opening the door for Laura.
What the fuck?
Reid led us into the house, disarmed the alarm, rattled off the code, and cruised into the kitchen, leaving Laura and me in the foyer.
For the first time since I had met Laura, I didn’t know what to say to her. I was dumbstruck and the hell of it was all I wanted to do was comfort her and tell her that she would be okay. Promise her that I wouldn’t let Russo or his men near her. But I couldn’t. Her bottom lip started to quiver; the tiny movement revealing just how scared she was. That pissed me off. Laura was strong, to a fault, never allowing her true emotions to the surface. Two strides and I was in her space. Her head tilted back to look at me, her face softening, and I was beating back the urge to take her mouth. Her amber eyes glistened with unshed tears and my hands moved to cup her cheeks.
“Everything will be fine,” I whispered.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
She kept saying that. Her concern for my safety was appreciated but it was starting to irritate me.
“You don’t think I can take care of you? Of myself?”
“You don’t understand what he’s like. What he’s capable of.”
“Right. So you don’t trust me.”
“It’s not that…” she trailed off.
Reid came back into the room, derailing our conversation.
“I’ll send Roni out to pick you up some food. I’ll also have her drop off some clothes and a secure laptop for you,” Reid said, coming to a stop in front of us. “And another burner phone for Laura.”
For a split second, I questioned Reid’s logic, sending his untrained secretary
out for provisions. But she was perfect actually. If someone was watching, no one would pay attention to the unassuming woman.
“A word before I leave?” Reid asked and jerked his head toward the door. “See you soon, Laura.” He offered her a smile.
She gave him a small wobbly smile in return and stepped around us, making her way to the worn blue corduroy recliner. She sat, pulling her feet up and tucked them into the armrest, her bent legs pulled up tight against her chest; she rested her chin on her knee and commenced staring at the wall. Now more than ever I wished I knew what was going on in her pretty little head.
I followed Reid outside and closed the door, praying Laura wasn’t planning her escape out the back door. I didn’t like that I couldn’t see her, but the privacy was necessary.
“I’m gonna lay it out for you, brother. The same way you did when I was battling it out with Ava. Pull your head outta your ass and fix this.” Reid’s hand shot up, stopping me from speaking over him. “Enough already. It was enough six years ago when Jacob died. It was over last year when Ava and I got together. And it’s way over now. You are going to let misplaced guilt eat at you until you throw away a good woman who needs you.”
It was a low-blow bringing up Jacob, Ava’s first husband and my best friend. Reid was wrong—I wasn’t holding onto misplaced guilt. It was firmly where it was supposed to be—on my shoulders. Jacob died alone in an alley, killed by his own brother after finding out his blood was a gangbanger and was stealing and selling heroin. Jacob was my partner. I should’ve been there. And in the years after his death, I had, in fact, failed at keeping Ava and Jacob afloat. I was too deep in my own grief to sort Ava out and I allowed her to push me away. It wasn’t until Reid came along that Ava truly began to heal.
“You heard her. She doesn’t trust me.”
“No. That’s what you heard. That is not what I heard. What I heard was a woman who is deathly afraid of her brother. I heard a woman who is petrified the man she loves will put himself in danger if he sticks close. You’re hearing shit you want to hear so you can continue to beat yourself up. Give it up, Mac. You did right by Ava and JJ. You did right by Jacob. It’s fucking painful watching you beat yourself up. And, man, if you don’t think Ava sees it, too, you are wrong. It kills her that because she couldn’t pull her shit together you blame yourself. You ever stop to think that it wasn’t supposed to be you that brought the shine back to my woman’s eyes? That maybe that was for me? That I was meant to be the one to give her what she needed to move on. In all this time you’ve been locked away in your head, you ever stop to fucking think that was our journey? Mine and Ava’s. So again, pull your fucking head out of your ass and fix your shit. She needs you. She needs your head straight and you on the top of your game. She’s right about one thing—Frankie Russo is not to be underestimated. He’s a sick fucker and now both of you are in the line of fire. And, Mac, I’ll be goddamned if I let you get dead. You know I have your back, in every way. That includes helping you pull… your… head… out…of….your ass.”
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck.
“I’ll leave you with that, brother. Chew on it. I’ll be back around later to check on you two. Expect Roni in a few hours. Until then, I suggest you work out some of that pent-up frustration. It might help with your sunny disposition.” Reid chuckled and hoofed it down the driveway back to his Rover. I watched him get in and drive away, then I stared into the empty street wondering what the fuck had just happened. On an exhale, I opened the front door and was pleased to see Laura right where I’d left her.
“I need to make a call.” Her eyes came to me but other than that Laura didn’t move. “After that, we need to talk.” She nodded and closed her eyes, hiding herself from me.
I moved to the kitchen and returned the text that Nico had sent earlier. He was more than happy to take care of Frankie Russo and that included the two men that were in San Francisco to take out Laura. It was in his best interest and would end up being quite profitable for him. Russo’s Long Island territory had been thriving since the death of Laura’s father and Russo’s restructuring. Nico assured me that the job would be done in less than twenty-four hours and the hit would be called off sooner. I didn’t ask for details and he didn’t offer them. At the end of the day, I was still a cop, and I had already jumped so far over the line I could no longer see any remnants of it. I was already making deals with a mob boss; the less I knew about the actual plan the better. Once the threat was eliminated, I would meet with Nico to discuss his payment. I was fucked, and I knew it. Frankie Russo might’ve been a twisted ruthless son-of-a-bitch, but Nico Tuscani was only a half-step down and no less ruthless.
It was times like these I really wished I hadn’t quit smoking. I would give my left arm to feel the calm after a long drag of nicotine. Sometimes after a shift or a really shitty case, Jacob would join me for a cigarette before he went home to Ava and JJ. We’d catch a smoke on the back steps of the precinct and we’d decompress. Jacob always looked at the bright side of life. The silver lining, he called it. He could take any fucked-up situation and make you see one good thing in it. I needed that now. I needed his help in the worst way. Damn, I missed him. Good cop, good husband, and great fucking dad. He loved his boy. But loved Ava more. He loved Ava in a way that was rooted down into his bones. Jacob understood that he had to love Ava that much to ensure that his son got everything he needed from his mother. He filled her with so much love and in turn, she filled the house with it. When he died, she shattered. As the years passed, her anger and resentment toward me grew until she was openly hostile. I knew she needed someone to blame, someone to lash out, but it fucking burned my gut. Now she had Reid and she was happy. She had her bright playful smile back. Reid loved her much the same way Jacob had. They both understood what they had in a good woman and went to great lengths to protect her. In turn, she gave them the greatest gift a man could ask for—a beautiful life.
Had I been a self-absorbed narcissistic prick? Thinking that Ava’s pain was all about me and mine to fix? I would’ve never been able to give Ava what she needed to move on. I loved her like a sister, not a woman. There were times she cried in my arms but the way I cared for her was vastly different from a man who was caring for a woman he deeply loved. Maybe Reid was right about one thing; I wasn’t meant to be the one to bring her back to life. She was Reid’s. And she came alive under his care. But I was meant to be the one to protect her. I had given my word to Jacob.
I knew Reid was correct about one more thing; if I didn’t stop behaving like a pansy-assed fool I was going to lose Laura, and if I wasn’t on my game, it might be in a permanent way. I couldn’t let Laura down. However, I couldn’t reconcile how she would ever trust me to be the man to protect her.
All the fine hairs on the back of my neck tingled and I turned.
“Mac?” Laura whispered from the doorway.
“Yeah, baby?”
“I need you,” she said, still whispering.
My heart rate kicked up and my muscles tightened. I hoped like hell I wasn’t misreading what Laura was saying.
“What do you need?”
“You. Just you.”
I didn’t ask for further clarification. Her breathy words and needy eyes told me everything I needed to know. I had read the situation right. Now the only question was, how much of myself did I give?
10
Harper
Laura
Before I could blink, Mac was on me, his finger tracing the silver around my neck.
“You kept it.” I didn’t think that was a question, more an observation, so I didn’t answer. Instead, I soaked in his strength as he wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and squeezed, his thumb now grazing the soft skin at the side of my neck.
“Aiden.”
“Before we go upstairs, I need to make sure you understand what you’re asking.”
Oh, no. I didn’t want to understand. I didn’t want to think. That was the whole point of me kneeling at his fee
t. He thought he was in control. All I had to do was let go and be.
“No more secrets. No more hiding. You are mine. Mine to protect, mine to own, and mine to love. I will not let you hide from me anymore. If I’m giving you all of me, I’m damn well taking all of you. And, Laura, by taking I mean, you giving yourself freely to me. Are you ready for that?”
The words stuck in my throat. Could I give him all of me? I wanted to. I wanted nothing more than to belong to Aiden Mackenzie. But I couldn’t. Frankie would kill him. Or he’d kill me, leaving Mac with nothing but guilt and pain. He already shouldered more than he should. He carried guilt over what had happened to Ava. He never said it, but I could see it. I could feel it rolling off of him in waves, especially right after Reid got Ava back after she was kidnapped. I had been on the receiving end of his dominance as he tried to regain control. It was magnificent and perfect. However, it broke my heart to see him so detached and methodical. I thought at the time he had finally understood I didn’t want the emotional connection he had offered. I only wanted what he could wring from my body. But once I had that side of him, I wanted my old Mac back. Especially when I caught on to why he had pulled away. I had missed his soft touches, the way he took care of me, cuddled me close, whispering sweet words. How he had always tucked me into bed if he was leaving at night. I, of course, fought those advances at the time, not wanting to admit to myself I cherished them. Needed them. Would miss them when I inevitably had to run.
I shook my head, not trusting my voice and watched as Mac’s face turned to stone. His normal gentle blue eyes turned stormy. Anger and something else swirling together.
“I see,” he said and pulled his hand away from my neck, stepping back.
Trust Page 6
