“Thank you for that. Don’t worry about the stuff. I think I should start new anyway.”
“I packed all your stuff. It’s all at my house.”
“You did?”
Her eyes rounding in excitement told me she didn’t quite mean what she had said.
“I did.”
Her face broke out in a wide sexy smile. “Very presumptuous of you.”
“I presumed nothing. Honestly? I had hoped I would find you. But if nothing else, having your stuff at my house gave me a measure of you. And at the time, I was willing to take even the smallest sliver. Anything to have you near me.”
“See? Sweet! Who knew that big bad Aiden Mackenzie could make a girl swoon?”
So fucking cute, I didn’t know what to do with her. I did, however, know one thing; if I didn’t hurry up and get her to my house, it would be hours before we left here.
“I don’t know about swooning. I’ll take your word for it. I do know my skill level is such that I can have you screaming in a matter of seconds. Up you go. Time to get home. I was interrupted last night and didn’t get to eat. And, baby, I am fucking starving!” My cock jerked when her face went lazy and her eyes flared. “You are so goddamned beautiful. I am going to tie your ass down and eat you until I get my fill.”
“Yes, please,” she croaked.
“Come on, let’s get you inside.”
My jaw clenched, and I bit back my annoyance. Harper’s eyes were scanning the area, her body was stiff, and if her shoulders were any higher, they’d be at her ears.
“Hey.” Her eyes came to me. “No one is going to hurt you. That’s all over for you. I wouldn’t have left the house if I wasn’t positive.”
“Sorry. Habit.”
A fucking habit that I was going to break. Fucking Frankie Russo. He had done this to her, made her scared and watchful. That was unacceptable.
I tried really hard to curb my anger as I yanked my keys from the ignition, slammed the car door, stomped around to her side, and jerked the door open. I offered her my hand to help her out and she hesitated. That pissed me off, too.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered.
I pulled her from the car and into my arms. “I am not mad at you. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m pissed as shit that my woman is scared to get out of my truck in my driveway because her fuckwit brother is a piece of shit. Mark my words, Harper, no more. You breathe easy and live your life. Nothing. I repeat, nothing, touches you from here on out.”
“Okay,” she whispered, still not believing me.
“You have to trust me.”
“I do. Promise.”
I led Harper into the house and disarmed the alarm, making a mental note to give her my extra key and show her how the newly upgraded security system worked. Reid had worked his magic and my house was damn near as difficult to breach as Fort Knox. It had cost a mint, but now that Harper would be living here, I was happy with my investment. Even if at the time I thought it was overkill.
I stayed by the door and watched as Harper moved through my living room, taking in the space. I wondered what she thought of it. I bought this house after my divorce. It was in a well-established older neighborhood. One of the few in the city that had a backyard that wasn’t the size of a shoebox. It wasn’t small by any stretch, but it also wasn’t colossal. Three stories, with the whole top floor being one large bonus room. All four sides had huge windows. The view was spectacular, but in the summer, it was hot as shit up there. It was a shame that I rarely used the room.
“This is beautiful,” she remarked.
“Thanks.”
“I don’t know what I was expecting but this certainly wasn’t it.” Her soft laugh reminded me that I hadn’t heard much of it in the past. That was going to change.
“Really? What’d you expect? Take out cartons and beer bottles?”
“No. Maybe. I mean, you’re a little old to be living in a frat house.” She giggled again, and my gut tightened. “I didn’t think it would be so well decorated. It looks like it has a woman’s touch.” She paused and looked at the large built-it bookcase that took up the entire back wall of the room. “You even have framed pictures and knick-knacks on the shelves.”
“No woman has ever been in this house,” I told her. “I put those there.”
“Really?” She sounded shocked.
“Why was coming to my house a hard limit for you?” I asked, realizing the truth in my statement. Not even Harper had been to my place in the over nine months we’d been seeing each other. At first, I thought it was a smart move on her part—a safety precaution. However, as the months went by, even after she got to know me, she still wouldn’t agree.
“Because seeing where you lived, being in your space, was too personal for me. Silly I know, especially considering all that we’ve done.” Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink. “And being here now, seeing your furniture, your books, imagining you sitting on your couch drinking a beer and watching a game. I know that I was right to stay away.”
“Why’s that?”
“I was already having a hard time not getting too attached to you, even before you saw me at Stripes and we started a physical relationship. Seeing you at the café, watching you talk and laugh with Reid, how gentle you were with Ava. As hard as I tried not to pay attention, to ignore the pang of jealousy I felt when you smiled at other women, or I heard you talk about them, it was there. I couldn’t have you, but I still wanted your attention. After we started seeing each other, I knew that if I saw your place, saw a personal, intimate side of you, I’d never be able to leave when the time came.”
Holy shit. I had no idea that she’d felt that way. She’d never shown a bit of interest in me. All the times Reid and I sat at the counter at Del Mar’s grabbing a cup of coffee, shooting the shit, she had gone to great lengths to avoid me, or so it seemed. She’d been a mystery to me. No other woman had ever blown me off the way she had when I first met her. She was like the arctic—cold and unyielding.
“Me coming to your house wasn’t too personal?” I asked.
“No. The guesthouse wasn’t mine. Sure, I had some personal items there, but they were generic. There was nothing in that place that was really me. It sounds silly, but I never thought of that place as home. It was a stop. Another place to sleep before I took off again.”
Jesus. I couldn’t imagine what her life had been like. Never settling, never having anything that was hers—not even a name. Stopping and starting. Never truly living.
“I’m glad you’re here, Harper.”
“Me, too.” Her smile lit up my living room and my heart in a way I never thought possible. She was here and I was never letting her go.
14
not ever
Harper
Mac showed me around the rest of his house. The more I saw, the more embarrassed I became. I was twenty-nine years old and had nothing to show for my life. I didn’t own a home, furniture, a car. Hell, I didn’t even own a proper wardrobe or coffee maker. I had nothing. The clothes on my back and a backpack. That’s how I’d lived my life for the last two years. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that at one time I was normal. I was like any other person living life and now I couldn’t even remember what normal felt like.
I could see the frustration in Mac. He said he wasn’t mad at me, but I still felt like shit. I trusted him at his word. If he said I was no longer in danger, I believed him. As much as I wanted to know what he’d done to ensure my safety, I refrained from asking for the details. I couldn’t handle them, not now. Ignorance was bliss, and I just wanted to be ignorant for a change. I was so damn tired of thinking, of looking over my shoulder every five seconds, of watching the world pass me by. I knew it was stupid, I should’ve told him I wanted him to tell me—he would’ve. But I wanted the peace he offered. I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If it turned out to be the wrong choice, I would deal with it later.
My life was so screwed up, it couldn’t get much wors
e.
Mac had disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me to explore on my own. I loved that he had pictures of Reid, Ava, JJ, and Melly displayed. There was a photo collage of Mac and JJ, JJ and Melly, Mac and Reid, Reid and Ava, all pictures from Reid and Ava’s wedding. That had been a beautiful day. Perfect weather, great company, and a stunning backdrop as we cruised on the Sea-duction. My heart seized when I came across a photo of me and Mac from the wedding. We were on the dance floor, Mac was holding me close, and it was in profile. I was laughing at Ava, who I knew even though it was not shown in the picture, had been dancing beside us with Blaze. A beautiful woman in a white wedding gown dancing with a ginormous biker full of tats. The image had struck me as hilarious and both Ava and I had burst out laughing. In the photograph, Mac was staring at me with a small smile ghosting his handsome face.
I remember that day. I remember the ache I felt at the realization I would never have that. Not the wedding. Not the man.
“You looked so beautiful that day,” Mac said, coming up behind me.
“Thank you.” I always felt shy when Mac complimented me even though he did it often. He was forever telling me I was perfect or beautiful. It was hard not to believe him when he said those things to me. “You didn’t look too bad yourself.”
“That’s my favorite picture of the bunch.”
I didn’t believe that. But it was nice of him to say. There was no way it was his favorite. Not with the abundance of pictures of his godson JJ in all stages of his life. I noticed there were pictures of him and Jacob, too. I picked one up and studied it closely.
“That was taken a year before Jacob died. We had all gone camping. That was the year that JJ caught his first fish. He was so little that Jacob had to help him reel it in.”
“What a great memory,” I whispered.
I had seen plenty of pictures of Jacob displayed at Ava and Reid’s house. I was taken aback at first. Pictures of a deceased husband on the same shelf as the current husband struck me as odd. However, after Ava had explained that Reid had been the one to demand that Jacob be displayed, my respect for Reid grew.
“He was a great friend. I miss him.”
I turned in Mac’s arms to face him. I didn’t like how his tone had changed. It wasn’t one of pain but of guilt. I hated that for him. I knew the story of Jacob’s murder. I had also been around long enough to know Mac shouldered a lot of guilt.
“If you ever want to talk about him, I’m here to listen.”
He brushed his lips against my forehead and said, “Thanks, baby.” Closing down any conversation about Jacob.
I wasn’t going to push. Not now. However, it was a subject that needed to be aired out.
“You ready to see the upstairs?” Mac leaned in and whispered in my ear. I couldn’t control my reaction. I never could when Mac’s tone became rumbly and seductive. He chuckled when I shivered at his suggestion. “I hope you’re ready.” He stopped speaking long enough to touch the silver at my throat. “I want you naked on your knees.” His hand moved from my collar to the nape of my neck and squeezed. “After I take my fill of your mouth, I’m going to cuff you and fuck you. First with my tongue, then my fingers, and after that I’m gonna give you my cock.”
“Yes, Sir.”
I wasn’t sure why I had said yes. He hadn’t really asked a question, but my insides were a mess and I couldn’t think straight. My belly had a million butterflies dancing, my panties were soaked, and my mind was doing cartwheels.
“Good girl. First door on your right. Go on up and get ready for me. I need to get a few things.”
With a swat to my ass, he sent me up the stairs. I found the first door on the right, quickly stripped out of my clothes, and tossed them into the laundry hamper Mac had in the corner.
My knees sank into the plush carpet and my body relaxed. With my hands clasped behind my back, I lowered my head and my breathing evened out. Mac’s bare feet came into focus and I was at peace.
“So beautiful. Thank you.”
He always thanked me.
I remained quiet.
“Where are you, my sweet girl?”
“Green, Master.”
I heard the swift intake of breath and wished I could see his face. I had never called him Master. I didn’t know why the word slipped from my mouth. Sir, seemed… not enough. Sir had been what I called Mac when I was trying to hold myself apart from him.
“Eyes,” he growled, and I immediately obeyed.
I was wrong. I didn’t want to see his face. I wasn’t sure what was swirling behind his eyes; however, there was only a tiny sliver of blue left.
“I’ve changed my mind. I am not going to fuck you.” My heart sank. I’d messed up. I should’ve known better than to call him Master until we’d discussed it. “We’re past fucking, little one. I’m going to love you until you lose yourself. Worship you until you’re breathless. I’m going to irrevocably bind you to me—there is no going back. Not now, not ever.”
I choked down the lump in my throat. I desperately wanted to jump up and pepper his face with a thousand kisses and tell him that no sweeter words had ever been said by anyone—ever. I wanted him to know I felt that same way. But I didn’t. I gave him something better.
“Yes, Master.”
“Open,” he demanded.
The top button popped.
The zipper was drawn down.
My mouth opened.
“I’m so sorry I lied to you.”
After Mac had made good on all his promises and then some, we cleaned up, made dinner, and he told me I had the all-clear to call Ava. I didn’t delay. The first few minutes on the phone were tense and I thought she was going to hang up on me. I couldn’t blame her, but it hurt, only solidifying my resolve to patch things up. I asked her to come to Mac’s house and talk to me. I thought if she could see Mac and I together, it might soften her up.
When she’d stomped in the door, I thought I had made a mistake. She didn’t look softened up; she looked like a pissed-off mama bear ready to claw my eyes out. Reid came in after her with JJ and Melody. I relaxed a little knowing Ava wouldn’t commit aggravated assault in front of her children.
Mac told the kids to go up to the third floor and watch TV while he and Reid disappeared into Mac’s office to “work”. With a chuckle and a kiss to my forehead, Mac left me alone in the living room with Ava.
I didn’t delay.
I spilled my guts.
I told her about growing up, attending dance conservatory, my time with the ballet company, my brother, the murders I had witnessed, my beating, waking up in the hospital, Quinn, as much as I could remember about the places I had been while on the run. I told her everything. I rushed it out as fast as I could, not wanting to linger and dwell on any of it. It was easier to tell the story as if I was a bystander rather than it being my life.
When I was done, we were both crying. Other than the breakdown with Mac the other day, I hadn’t cried since the day I was released from the hospital. I had bottled it all up and locked it away.
“I’m the one that’s sorry,” Ava started. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that alone. I’m sorry you couldn’t confide in me or ask Mac and Reid for help.”
“I didn’t want to put anyone in danger. My brother’s a monster.”
“Still. I wish we could’ve helped you. How did Mac… I don’t know… fix everything?”
“I didn’t ask.”
I waited for her to tell me how stupid I was for not inquiring about what he had done to make my brother call off the hit but instead she shocked me.
“That’s smart. I’ve learned not to ask questions I don’t want the answers to.”
“You think? You don’t think I’m crazy?”
“If Mac says you’re safe, you’re safe. There’s no reason to worry yourself with the details.”
I was relieved she agreed with me. It might’ve been a copout, but I was willing to run with it.
“So… Harper, huh? I
never thought you looked like a Laura.” Ava laughed.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Should I call you Harper now? Are you staying with Laura? Or are you picking a new name?” she asked.
“I haven’t had time to give it much thought.”
And I hadn’t. Mac had also asked but then he dazzled me with his serious sexual expertise and made me forget. He was good at that—making the world fall away until all that was left was him. My world narrowed when I was with Mac and that was perfectly okay with me.
“Well, now you’re free to be whoever you want to be.”
I was dumbfounded as her words hit me; it was like I’d been struck by a two by four. Before I understood what was happening, Mac was picking me up off the couch and settling me on his lap. “Baby? What’s wrong?” He wiped the moisture from my cheeks and held tight.
When did he come into the room?
“I don’t… I’ve… I’ve never been free.” I barely got the words out. “I don’t know who I even am anymore.”
“Sweet, strong, Harper. You can be anything you want to be. But you don’t need to decide now. Take some time and just relax,” Mac whispered into my hair.
I didn’t answer. I just melted into Mac and tried to soak up every bit of warmth he offered.
15
savor
Mac
I told Harper while we were eating I was going to run out later that night for work. She said she was fine being at the house alone; we’d gone over the alarm and she had a new cell phone. But now that it was time for me to leave to go meet Nico, I was having second thoughts about leaving her at the house by herself. As much as I wanted to get this shit over with, she was more important. I could’ve called Reid or canceled with Nico altogether and just when I was going to suggest Reid come back over, Harper squeezed my hand, bringing my attention to her.
“I’m fine. I promise. I’m in bed and exhausted. I’ll be asleep in five minutes.” She yawned.
Trust Page 9
