After everything I had done for this woman, she was backing away from me like I was the enemy. In three strides, I was in the middle of the living room only feet from her. Her eyes widened in fear and her face paled.
“You do not back away from me like I’m some monster that’s going to hurt you. If you’re pissed, you stay and fight. Yell, scream, I don’t care. What you don’t do is run—like a coward. And have the decency to tell me what you think I’ve done.”
“I saw you with Nico Tuscani,” she blurted.
“So?”
“He’s a mob boss.”
“Believe me, Harper, I am well aware of what he is.”
“What, is he working with my brother to off me so he can collect on the hit?” she asked, making my temper rise.
“Seriously?”
Reid was shaking his head and Ava’s eyes were darting around trying to piece together what was going on. Shit, that made two of us. I was unclear how Harper had made that assumption by seeing me with Nico but it was jacked.
“Yes, seriously. My brother has been trying to kill me for years. Are you in on it, too? Is that why you’re meeting with Nico, huh? Are you gonna turn me over to them now?”
“Jesus Christ,” Reid muttered.
Ava sucked in a breath and covered her mouth.
“Completely jacked. Harper, why don’t you think about what you’re saying? Really think about what you know about me, and fuck, about Reid for that matter. Do you really think I’d let anyone put their hands on the woman I love? And before you answer, really think about it.”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she asked, “Why were you meeting with Nico?”
I thought about lying and telling her it was police business and I couldn’t tell her, which was partially the truth, but mostly not.
“You sure you want the answer to that question?” I asked.
“Yes.” Came immediately. I looked at Reid, asking if he wanted to have Ava leave the room before I told Harper why I was with Nico.
“Ava baby, come here.”
I waited for her to walk to Reid. He pulled her close and tucked her to his side.
“I was meeting with Nico Tuscani this afternoon because I needed information from him about a case.” Her shoulders slumped forward and relief washed over her face. I could’ve left it at that, the half-truth, but I couldn’t. If there was any chance that Harper and I were going to go the distance, I wasn’t going to start lying to her. “And because I owe him a marker. He’s called it in and now I owe him information as well.”
“Why do you owe a mobster a favor?” The panic and accusation was back in her voice.
“Because I asked him to kill someone for me.”
I watched Harper closely—her eyes widened, her face twisted, and her hands balled up in fists.
“You what? Who?” Harper yelled.
“Your brother. I called in a favor at the prison. The guard turned his back while a few of Nico’s guys went into Frankie’s cell and took care of him. In exchange for the hit, I owe Nico a marker. Nico is in the process of dismantling the Russo family assets and claiming the territory that your family once controlled. Nico is also offering you his protection. He’s put the word out that you are not to be touched—by anyone.”
“Why would you do that?” Harper cried.
“Normal,” I answered.
“What?”
“The other day you thanked me for giving you normal. A normal life, a normal conversation, a normal day. That’s why I did it. So you could be free to have normal.”
“I can’t believe you did that. You know how much I hate the mob. I told you what being involved with them has done to me. Now you’re in bed with a mob boss and calling in hits yourself.”
What was left of my temper was gone.
“You’re goddamn right I called in a hit on your brother. The man has been terrorizing you for years. He hired someone to kill you!” I damn near yelled. “Now I owe on that. I knew full well what I was doing when I made the deal. I know Nico Tuscani now owns me. I might never get out from under him. But you’re alive and untouchable. You’ll able to walk the streets, live your life, and not have to be afraid. I would change nothing. I would choose your life over mine every day. Now, here’s where you decide if you can live with what I’ve done.”
“You have no idea what you’ve done.” Harper stepped back and shook her head. “I can’t be here anymore. You shouldn’t have made that deal, Mac. You’ll never be free. I can’t do this. I can’t!”
“Can’t do what, Harper?” I asked.
“I love you, Mac. But we’re over. I can’t be with you.”
Harper turned her back to me and I heard Ava’s sobs mingling with Harper’s. I looked at Reid, hugging a crying Ava close, and my heart ached to grab Harper and comfort her, beg her not to leave me, not to give up on us.
But, I didn’t. Without a word, I headed for the door. Call it anger or pride but I couldn’t fight for us if she was willing to throw us away. I’d been wrong. I thought my love for her could get us through anything.
So fucking wrong.
22
I want babies
Harper
The door slammed.
Reid cursed.
Ava cried.
What just happened? How did I let Mac walk out the door? Why didn’t I stop him, talk to him, beg him to run away with me so we could be safe?
He didn’t understand what he’d done. Making a deal with Nico meant he’d forever be in the mob’s debt. I’d never be safe, neither would he. Nico would take and take and the minute Mac said no, Nico would turn on him and both our lives would be in danger. Reid and Ava’s, too. Anyone who was close to Mac would be used against him.
Oh, God! Melly and JJ!
“Reid. You have to help him. Please,” I begged.
“Help him with what?” he bit out.
I didn’t blame Reid for being angry with me; he loved Mac, they were like brothers.
“I know you hate me, but Mac is in danger. Nico will never leave him alone. You have to make Mac understand.”
“You don’t think Mac understands exactly what he’s done?” he growled. “That man loves you so much he’s compromised his own moral code to make sure you’d be safe—in a real way. Your family can never come after you now. And that’s because Mac made that happen.”
“My family can’t, but Nico can. That’s the way the mob works. Nico will come after us all as soon as Mac stops giving Nico what he wants.”
Reid’s body locked and Ava inhaled. Thank God, he was getting it now.
“I’m going to explain one thing and it’s more for my wife’s peace of mind than yours. Nico Tuscani is not an issue for any of us. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’d let Mac get near him if I didn’t know I had the situation under control. Mac and Nico have a one-time deal. Nico has called in his debt. It’s something that Mac can handle. No one is going to get hurt, no one’s dying, Mac’s exposure is very minimal. As far as dealing with the mob is concerned, it’s tame.” Reid was delusional, too. I grew up with men like Nico, I knew the way this worked. “I see you don’t believe me. And right now, I’m so mad at you I don’t fucking care. But I know Mac would care and he wouldn’t want you scared. And I know my wife cares about you. Nico has asked Mac to look the other way on an investigation. Mac is willing to do that. One, because he owes Nico, but mostly because it has to do with a dirty cop. So Mac is looking the other way while the situation plays out. Lastly, I’ll explain why Nico will never come after you, Mac, or my family when this is done. Nico and I have an understanding. In my line of work, I have a whole lot of dirt on a whole lot of people. The dirt I have is the kind that no one wants seeing the light of day. It’s in everyone’s best interest for it to stay buried.”
“You’re blackmailing him?” I asked. Was everyone crazy? My brother would slit someone’s throat if they tried that.
“Call it whatever you want. Nico and I have a mutual agreement
and understanding. That’s all you need to know.”
My head was a little dizzy and my stomach was twisted into knots. I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or if I was going to pass out. I was grateful when Ava made her way to me and tugged me to the couch.
“Sit,” she suggested and I slumped down into the overstuffed cushions, wishing they could swallow me up and I could sink into oblivion, far away from the fucked-up situation I now found myself in. My life had gone to shit again, in one afternoon. I was transported back in a bad case of déjà vu. The only thing that was missing was the beating my brother had delivered.
My brother.
Frankie was dead and I didn’t know how I felt about that. Did it make me just as much of a monster as him that I was relieved, happy even, that he was gone? I tried to think of us as children, a time when we used to play together and laugh and tease each other, but I failed. The last two years had wiped my memory clean of any good thoughts of the brother I’d once loved. He’d erased all gratitude and adoration I once had for him. He’d turned into a stone-cold killer. A mobster.
Reid handed me a bottle of water and sat on the coffee table in front of me.
“I want you to listen to me carefully, Harper, before it’s too late. Mac is the best man I know. There is no one I would trust more with my family than him. You may be scared, shocked, and even pissed at Mac. But you have to know, he did what he did because he loves you. You didn’t see the hurt you caused when he thought Quinn was your man. You didn’t see him out of his mind with worry when you ran and he learned the truth about who you are. And if you didn’t see the devastation on his face just now, then you’re blind. That man loves you. What you need to do now is dig deep and sort your shit out.”
“Sort my shit out?” I huffed. “You have no idea what men like Nico are capable of.”
“Don’t I? You know what I do for a living. I see firsthand what organized crime does to the city. Every day I go to work and have to deal with the most disgusting men and women humanity offers. I know what Frankie did to you. I’ve seen the pictures and read the reports. So did Mac. He read through your file front to back, pulled up every article he could find on Frankie Russo and memorized each of his crimes. He didn’t make the decision to have your brother killed lightly. He did it because Frankie Russo was an animal that had to be put down.”
“He saw the pictures?” I asked.
How humiliating. Frankie had damn near killed me. It took me a month before I’d look at myself in a mirror and when I did, I was horrified at the reflection staring back at me. I couldn’t imagine what the pictures looked like that Mac had seen. Why would he want to see those?
“He did. Frankie is gone and you’re free. You can live your life being anyone you want, anywhere you want. Don’t throw that in Mac’s face and turn on him.”
“But he knows I loathe anything that has to do with the mob,” I said. My protest sounded weak, even to my own ears.
Shit. What had I done?
“He didn’t join the mob, Harper.”
I took a moment to mull over what Reid had said and compare it to what I knew about Mac. I was still pissed he’d made a deal with a mobster and hadn’t told me. But wasn’t that my fault? When he said we were safe to leave the house, he’d told me outright he wouldn’t lie to me, he’d tell me what had happened. I was the one that had decided to live with my head in the clouds. I knew deep down in my bones that Mac would never harm me, yet I accused him of setting me up. I had no excuse for behaving the way I had toward him. Even if the shock of seeing him with Nico scared the hell out of me—still did—I knew better.
Damn.
“Did I overreact?” I asked Ava. She was level-headed and honest. I trusted her to tell me the truth.
“Yes. But I understand why. I get that you’re scared and seeing Mac with Nico was a shock. But, Harper, once he explained, you should’ve talked it out with him.”
“Shit.”
Forgetting everything I knew about how protective Mac was over his friends, especially the kids, Reid would have Mac’s back. He’d never let anything harm them or Mac. I’d been on my own for so long I reacted poorly. I didn’t think.
But why didn’t Mac stay? He told me not to run like a coward, yet that’s what he did.
“Mac left,” I noted lamely.
“Yeah, honey, he did. You told him it was over and turned your back to him,” Ava whispered.
“Why? Why didn’t he force me to understand?” I cried.
“Honestly? Because he’s been fighting for you for damn near a year. He’s pushed you to open up to him and you refused. He’s chased you and you’ve denied him. But the real reason he left, he doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.” Reid’s words were like a cold hard slap in the face. He was right. I had done all those things.
I pushed him away even though I was in love with him. I refused to let him in even though I wanted nothing more than for Mac to wrap me up in his arms. But I did all that because I loved him; I was trying to protect him.
“I didn’t want him to get hurt. I couldn’t let him in. I wanted to protect him. Why would he think he’s not good enough? That’s crazy.”
“Because he thinks he’s done questionable things and that makes him a bad guy. He admitted to having your brother whacked and you basically compared him to a mob boss.”
“Shit. I know he’s not. I’m just scared. How do I fix this? I have to go and talk to him.”
I tried to stand but Ava put her hand on my leg and stopped me.
“Not right now you don’t. Give him a few hours to calm down. I know Mac has a bad temper. If you go to him now, while he’s hurt, he’ll say a bunch of stuff he doesn’t mean,” she warned.
“Then I’ll take it. I deserve to hear it after what I did.”
“That’s not a good idea,” Reid added.
“Would you let Ava stew for a few hours if she was pissed, even if you knew you’d get the hot side of her tongue?”
“No, I wouldn’t.” Reid smirked. “You got your shit sorted? Because he’s gonna push you away and maybe say some jacked shit to you. Either you sit tight and let him calm down or you gotta roll with it. Be strong enough to put him in his place and call him on his shit. He’s hurt and the fact that he loves you and had envisioned a life with a white picket fence and babies has compounded it a hundred-fold.”
“He thought about babies?” I asked.
“What the fuck do you think Mac’s been doing with you? He made a deal with the devil to make sure you were safe. Do you think he’d do that if he wasn’t planning a forever with you?”
“I didn’t think,” I admitted. “I want babies with him. I want the house and the kids and I want to crawl into bed with him every night exhausted because I’ve been chasing our kids all day,” I blurted out, uncaring that I sounded like a totally crazy person. Going from hysteria to declarations of love. “Thank you both. I’m solid, promise. I need to go find Mac.”
“Good luck.” Ava smiled.
“Don’t take shit from him,” Reid reminded me. “He’s gonna try and walk away. Don’t let him. He’s gonna try and shock you, too, telling you the worst things he’s ever done. Mac is my brother. I only want what is best for him, and if I didn’t think you were strong enough for him, I wouldn’t let you go. Be tough and remember that he loves you.”
“Okay.”
I patted my pocket, confirming my keys and cell phone were there and headed for the door.
“What do I do if he leaves the house?” I asked, knowing that if Mac didn’t want to stay, there was nothing I could physically do to stop him.
“Then you call me,” Ava said. Reid was staring at his wife with a smile so wide it took my breath away. Ava might’ve looked like a petite shy woman but she was a force to be reckoned with. Ava was no pushover and she’d have no issues going toe-to-toe with Mac if needed.
I rushed to my car and hoped like hell Mac had gone home. It didn’t take long to pull into his neig
hborhood and I was both grateful and scared shitless when I saw his car was in the driveway. I’d spent the time on the drive over fortifying my resolve, but now that I was faced with the confrontation I was scared again. What if I screwed this up? What if he didn’t forgive me and kicked me out?
I wouldn’t let him. I couldn’t. I loved him too much to accept his denial.
Mac loved me.
He wanted babies with me.
I kept repeating those two things on the walk from my car to the front door.
Did I knock? Use my key? Should I sit in my car and give him a few hours to calm down?
Was I being totally screwy and emotionally unbalanced?
I totally was.
Fuck it. Time to fix this and remind my man that we were in this together—for the long haul.
I opened the door and my breath caught in my throat.
23
let her go
Mac
I looked down at the shattered glass on the floor, then at the dent in my drywall and not for the first time wondered why I was such a dumbass. I was a grown man, a detective, a Dom. Losing my temper and causing damage to my own belongings… weak.
I heard the gasp from the front door right about the same time the tumbler of whiskey hit the wall. What I didn’t hear was Harper shutting the front door and strutting her ass into the house, coming to a stop in front of the mess on the floor. She looked at me with sad eyes and I got pissed all over again. I’d waited months to see those eyes unguarded and full of love. I’d fought and been patient knowing the payoff would be pure beauty. And it was. For a little over a week, Harper had been in my bed and in my space. I had the pleasure of looking into those eyes every morning I’d woken up, and every night before I’d fallen asleep with her in my arms.
For a goddamned week, my life had been perfect. Now it was gone. I actually didn’t blame her. Frankie was gone, she was safe, and now she could move on with a respectable man that could give her the life she deserved. Not some hotheaded cop with blood on his hands.
Trust Page 14
