I shake my head and remind myself of what we’re talking about. “Studying?” I repeat. “What are you studying?”
She shakes her head a little. “It doesn’t matter.”
Holy fuck, she’s about to cry.
I see tears along the edges of her eyes. I reach out to lay a hand over hers, and she looks up into my face. Yes. She’s trying so hard not to cry. “What’s wrong, Jess?” I’m surprised at the way my voice sounds—gentle, concerned. And my chest hurts a little. The asshole in the ring must have hit me there.
“It’s nothing. Really.”
“No. Tell me.”
She takes a shuddery breath and uses the back of one finger to shove tears away from her eye. “Dammit,” she mutters, and then she’s quiet for a second before she goes on. “I’m trying to get into UCLA to get a Master’s degree. I want to be a PA.”
“PA?”
“Physician’s assistant.”
“Ah.” I laugh. “I should know that—I see enough doctors.”
I’m happy when she laughs back. Maybe she’s lightening up a little. I hope so.
“Anyway, it’s an advanced degree, and I need to take some classes before I can qualify, so I’m doing some classes online.”
“That’s cool.” It is cool. I have to say, I admire anybody who works to better themselves like that. God knows I never had the chance. Straight from my last foster home into my current career, if you want to call it that. Fighting was the only thing that kept me out of juvie in my teenage years, I’m pretty sure. Although it nearly got me into juvie once or twice, but that’s another story. “Good for you.”
Her lips tighten. “I wish Pop felt that way.”
Ah. The heart of the matter. “He doesn’t want you studying?”
“He didn’t really want me to go to college in the first place. It was just ‘the thing to do.’” I’ve never seen such sarcastic air quotes in my life. “Now I’m supposed to shut up, sit down, be a proper little lady, and marry the guy he’s picked out for me. And that’s it. Nothing else.”
“Be a proper little mob girl.”
“Exactly.” She shudders out another breath. “God. I’m sorry, Cain. I didn’t want to be this way tonight. I just wanted to see you…have some fun.”
I mull her words. She’s probably telling the truth, but I can’t help but think there’s more to it. She might not even realize it herself. “You just wanted to get out of the house.” And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
“Well, yeah, you could say that.” She starts to add something else, but the waiter returns and drops off our food. Jessica’s plate of angel hair pasta, chopped tomato, and olive oil barely looks like enough to feed a kid. Me? I’ve got a slab of steak the size of my head.
The waiter tops off our wineglasses and departs. I dig into the steak—medium rare and perfect as usual. Jessica seems to gather herself and takes a few bites of salad then samples the pasta.
“You know…” I venture after a moment. “I can barely stand being around your dad. It must be hell having to live with him.”
She shakes her head. “You have no idea.”
“So…all this with me. With us. It’s really just to get you out of the house. Maybe yank his chain a little. Am I right?”
Her gaze jerks up to mine as if I’ve accused her of kicking a kitten. But she doesn’t deny it.
“You know, it’s okay. I get it.” She’s quiet, just letting me talk. “And I mean, what should I care if I get some smoking-hot sex out of it?”
Her eyes narrow as if she’s trying to decide whether she should be offended. She probably should be. Somehow I don’t think she is. “That’s not all it is,” she says after a few moments.
“You sure about that?”
Again, she considers her answer. And then she smiles. “No. Not really.”
I laugh and pat her hand. “So…what do you have to study to become a physician’s assistant?”
She entertains me for the next several minutes talking about her classes. I try hard to pay attention—I really do—but it’s not exactly scintillating material. Still, she’s passionate about it, and I like the way her eyes light up as she’s talking. So I watch her eyes and her mouth and wonder if she’s ever given a guy a blowjob. I could teach her that. That’d be a good addition to her syllabus.
After the meal I’m surprised when she takes me up on my offer of dessert and coffee. After the boring meal I figured she’d beg off any major calories. But she orders tiramisu and gives me a sly look. “Plain-ish pasta means I can have dessert.”
“Ah, so there was a method to your madness.”
“Always.”
Watching her eat tiramisu is like watching her have an orgasm. I can barely focus on my wedge of chocolate cake. All I want to do is focus on her face and think about what I could do to put that same kind of ecstasy there. My dick’s gone hard—no surprise there—and my hands twitch with a need to touch her. Finally I give up and lay my fork down.
She finishes a few seconds later and gives me a look like she knows exactly what I’ve been thinking. At least she’s smiling again. The faint redness her tears left around her eyes has faded.
“We should get out of here,” I suggest. “You want to go someplace a little more…”
I don’t even have to finish the sentence. She knows just where I’m going with that. “Yes. I do.”
With the bill paid and a generous tip tucked under one of the empty plates, we head out of the restaurant. I’ve got one thing on my mind—getting inside Jessica. She’s relaxed, far more than she’s been all night. Whether it was the wine, the coffee, or the tiramisu, I don’t care. Whatever’s going to get her into my bed is fine with me. Her hand clamped in mine, I’ve got a one-track mind and I’m not afraid to use it.
Then, suddenly, she stops. I pull up short, still holding her hand and realizing she’s not moving. I turn around.
Well. Just when I thought we were going to get out of here without any issues. Joy.
Carmine Romano is standing just behind us in the restaurant lobby. He’s got hold of Jessica’s elbow, and he’s eyeing her up and down like she’s a piece of meat. I turn to face them both.
“Is there something I can do for you?”
“You can take your goddamn hands off my fiancée, for one.”
That takes me aback for about a half second. Then I remember what Jess said earlier: marry the man Pop wants me to marry. This guy? Seriously?
I don’t let go of Jessica’s hand. Instead I turn my attention fully to her. “Jess, do you know this guy?” Dumb question. Of course she does; he’s her dad’s right-hand asshole.
“Yes.”
“Are you his fiancée?”
“No,” she shoots back, her spine straightening.
I give Carmine a look—one of those that makes people cower when they catch it across the ring. Carmine flinches, but only slightly.
“She’s with me.”
“Oh really?” He’s got his smug back, and he’s wearing it like a jacket. It doesn’t suit him.
“Take your fucking hands off her.”
We’re gathering some attention, and I don’t like that. I give Carmine’s hand a meaningful look; he’s still got hold of Jessica’s elbow.
He leaves his hand where it is for a long moment, just long enough to make it clear he’s letting her go because he wants to, not because I told him to. We’ll see about that.
“You’ve been sleeping around with this prick behind my back? You fucking whore.” His mouth twists around the ugly words, making them even uglier.
I try not to jerk at Jessica’s hand, instead drawing her more gently back to my side. That strange urge to protect her has welled up inside me again. Maybe there really is a decent guy down in there, inside me somewhere. Not likely, but I suppose anything’s possible. I ease her partially behind me and face Carmine squarely.
“You want to take that back.”
“No, I don’t.”
“
That wasn’t a question.”
His eyes narrow. He’s not much shorter than me, and he’s not exactly out of shape. But I know he’s not a fighter. He works out—I see him at the gym sometimes—but he’s built his muscle for looks, not for strength, speed, or anything useful. I can take him with one hand tied behind my back. Shit, I could probably take him with both hands tied behind my back. He ought to know this, but I get the feeling he doesn’t.
“She’s been promised to me since we were kids. You know that, Jess. It’s what your dad wants.” His voice is smarmy, cloying.
I really, really want to hit him.
“I don’t give a shit what my dad wants,” Jess shoots back. Good for her. She’s no shrinking violet, just like I figured from the beginning. She’ll give as good as she gets. But she’s still a woman, and Carmine’s a man, and he’s bigger and stronger than she is, and he could hurt her if he wanted to. And he’s the kind of asshole who just might want to.
I could hurt her too, if I’m not careful. Not on purpose. But it’s what I do. I’m not sure I know how to be any other way. I swallow back that thought. It’s one that always scares me. I don’t need that right now.
Carmine has worked up to a snarl, his almost-attractive face screwed up into something ugly. “You think anything you say matters?” I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or to Jess. Maybe both of us. I do know he’s drawing a crowd, and I don’t want that. I start to steer us toward the door. Carmine wants to come at me, he can fucking well do it outside where not as many people are in the way.
Predictably he follows. “You’re nothing, Cain. You’re shit. You know that. You’re just Spada’s dog.”
I clench my fist as I push through the door. It’s chilly outside, just enough to take the edge off the heat of anger sliding through my veins. Romano doesn’t know what he’s fucking with.
“And you…” Romano won’t shut up, and he’s stabbing a finger at Jessica now. “You’re his daughter.” He says it like a daughter is more than a few steps down from the dog he just labeled me as. “You know damn well you’ll do what he says. And what he says is that you’ll marry me.”
He’s on a roll. I wonder what he’s trying to prove. I’d bet everything in my wallet right now—and that’s not an insubstantial amount—that he’s never had Jess. He sure as hell hasn’t seen her come apart like she does with me. No way in hell.
I face him squarely, now that we’re outside. I know damn well what’s about to come out of my mouth should just stay there, but I can’t seem to stop the words once they start. He’s got me so pissed off my eyeballs feel like they’re on fire. “Even if you get married, she’s still going to be thinking about me every time you wave that tiny dick at her.”
Romano’s face burns red. I’ve pushed him too far. Maybe he’ll drop dead of a heart attack right here. I have a feeling that would save us a lot of trouble in the long run.
Through clenched teeth, he growls. His gaze swings to Jessica. “Get over here right now.”
“No!”
He spits—actually spits—on the sidewalk at her feet.
Before I know what’s happening, my fist has connected with Romano’s jaw. He loses his balance and hits the concrete sidewalk. There’s blood on his mouth. I hope I knocked out a tooth. It’d serve him right. I stand right next to him, staring down at where he’s huddled on the ground. There are people all around us, milling, shocked, wondering what to do. I think about beating the shit out of him right here, right now, but instead I just wait until he manages to turn his head, to meet my gaze.
“Learn some manners, Romano,” I tell him. “You ever talk to Jess that way again, and I’ll straight-up kill you.”
I hear him spitting again as Jessica and I head back for the car. Apparently nobody’s thought to call the cops. Unsurprising. It’s probably not the first time they’ve seen somebody punched in the face outside Cartelli’s. I hustle her a little faster than she can walk in her heels, but I just want away from there.
“Cain,” she protests. “Cain, slow down. I’m going to fall and break my neck.”
I slow down a little so she can catch up, then, when we’re at the car, I grab her and kiss her. “You okay?” I ask when I’ve got her taste in my mouth again.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiles at me. “You totally punched him to defend my honor.”
I shake my head, giving her a crooked smile back. “Yeah, I guess I did. You girls like that kind of shit?”
“I don’t know about girls, but I do.” She looks genuinely happy that I put her supposed fiancé on the ground. “He deserved it.”
“Yes, he did.” I’m not going to argue with her on that one. Romano’s an asshole. I can’t even think about him being with Jess without rage tightening my chest. He won’t treat her right. Won’t respect her. Won’t love her.
What do you care?
And that voice inside my head is right. I don’t care. I can’t care.
I pull the car door open and help Jess inside. “Let’s take you home.”
As we drive, her happiness seems to fade, leaving a pale, sober expression behind it.
“He’s right, you know,” she says.
“About what?”
“I’ll have to marry him. Pop will force me to. And then there’s no way I’ll ever get away from him. And Carmine…” She trails off.
“He’s not a good guy.”
She shivers. “No. He’s not.”
I clench my hands on the steering wheel, wondering what he’s done to her. I wonder how Spada could even think about marrying Jess to him, but it makes sense. He’s not looking for a good husband for his daughter. He’s looking for a good heir for his business. Romano’s definitely that. He’s got that thread of violence Spada’s always had. It’s what you need to be a mob boss. You can’t have a conscience and run that kind of an empire.
She runs a hand over her face, and I’m afraid she’s crying again. “There’s no point to any of it, is there?”
I stop the car on the road in front of the Spada house. I’ll drop her off here; if she’s got a car back at the fight venue, I’ll be sure that gets taken care of tomorrow. I don’t want her driving tonight. She’s too upset. “To what?”
“The classes. The school. Studying. Trying to carve out my own life.”
I don’t answer her. I don’t have an answer. I’m still trying to work that one out on my own life.
“Unless…” She trails off. She’s not looking at me. “Unless I can marry somebody else. Somebody who’s not Carmine.”
If she’d turned then, let her gaze meet mine, I probably would have laughed it off. But she doesn’t. She just stares resolutely out the window, and I know damn well what she’s trying to tell me.
“No.” I say, and she looks down at her hands. “That’s the shittiest idea in the history of shitty ideas. And it’s not going to happen, so don’t get your hopes up.” I lean over and kiss her, a little harder than maybe I want to. She needs to be reminded what this is. It’s not some girly love story. I’m not going to suddenly transform into a knight on a white horse and take her away from her mob-constructed castle tower.
She blinks. Maybe there’s a tear—I can’t tell. But she still doesn’t look at me. “Thanks for dinner,” she says quietly.
“Any time.”
“Right.” The word is clipped. She pushes the door open and heads up the driveway toward her house. To face her father. I fight back an urge to run after her, to protect her against whatever Spada might throw at her next. But this isn’t my business. It isn’t my world.
I wait until I see her go inside, then I start the car and leave her there.
4
Jessica
A pounding on my bedroom door wakes me up the next morning. What the hell? I glance at the clock—it’s barely six in the morning. My brain is befuddled and confused. I’m not even sure what day it is for a few long seconds.
Then my father’s voice comes from the other side of the door
. “Jessica! Get the fuck out here now! Right now! You hear me?”
Shit. I sit up. No way I’m going out there in my nightgown. “Just a minute,” I call, hoping the acknowledgement will calm him down a little.
No such luck. “You’ve got two minutes, and then I’m coming in if I have to take the door down.”
I hustle for the closet and grab the first thing I can get my hands on—a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I scramble into them as fast as I can, my heart thudding hard. I know he really will take the door down if he decides it’s what he needs to do.
Pop yells again. “Is he in there with you?”
“What? What are you talking about?” I’m starting to figure out what’s going on, but it’s still muddled, the pieces disconnected in my brain.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. “Get your ass out here, Jessica. Right fucking now.”
“Jesus!” I jerk the fly of the jeans closed and manage to work the button and the zipper, and then head for the door. My hands are shaking.
No. No. I can’t open that door. I should go out the bathroom window, run away across the back lawn. Run until he can’t find me anymore.
But that’ll never happen. It doesn’t matter where I go. He’ll find me, or he’ll send someone after me who will. There’s no way out from under him.
And then the choice is taken away from me anyway as the doorknob rattles and he shoves the door open. He used his master key.
A ripple of fury runs through me.
Nothing. I have nothing. No peace, no rights, no privacy. Only what this man will grant me. I belong to him, and no one will dispute that, not if they want to stay alive.
“Pop—” I start, but he’s on me in a half second, his hand twisting in my hair. “Shit! What the fuck?”
“You watch your language. Show your father some goddamn respect.” He jerks me toward the door, then down the hall. We’re headed for his office. I’m starting to cry; I can’t help it. Is this it? Is he going to kill me, right now, right in my own house?
Hot as Sin (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 47
