by Darren Groth
“You took the words out of my mouth, son.”
Perry wrestles with the meaning of this for a moment.
He twists his lips this way and that, voices a quiet hum, then gives up. He stashes the calculator in the seat
14
are you seeing me?
pocket, then starts playing with his touchscreen video
monitor. I’m ready to provide some assistance, but he
doesn’t need it. Within seconds he’s wearing earbuds and watching the opening sequences of a documentary on
saltwater crocodiles.
I engage the couple with a clipped smile. “Perry has
trouble with people—mixing with them and commu-
nicating with them—and it sometimes results in inap-
propriate behaviors. I appreciate your under stand ing and patience.”
“Reckon I might’ve been the one with the inapprop-
riate behaviors, love,” says Ross.
“Make that two of us,” adds Jane.
I study their earnest faces. No need for further educa-
tion here. Class is dismissed. “It’s fine,” I say. “All good.”
They breathe a sigh of relief. Jane asks Ross to sit back so she can see me. “Thank you,” she says. “It’s Justine, isn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
“Justine, if you don’t mind me asking, did you say
you were Perry’s sister and caregiver?”
“Yes.”
“Do you mean just for your trip?”
“No, I’m his sister all the time.” A badum-tish follows.
I announce that I’m here all week and ask that they don’t 15
darren groth
forget to tip the waitress. Jane blinks three times. “Sorry, my jokes aren’t as good as Perry’s. The answer to your
question is no, I am the current full-time caregiver for my brother.”
Jane places a hand on her breast and tilts her head.
“Oh, that must be so difficult for you.”
“Ow! That’s gotta hurt!” Perry mimics a crocodile’s
lunge and snap with his hand. His focus remains on the
small screen.
“It has its moments,” I reply.
“Wow. You must be an amazing person to do that,
especially on your own. Do you have any help at all?”
The question loiters in the aisle like abandoned
luggage. Then it’s in my lap, heavy and pointed. I’m
overtaken by a desire to share it all with these people, these complete and decent strangers. To tell them how
our mother left and we were raised by our father. How
he did the best he could, better than he was obliged
to do. Then he up and died two weeks shy of our
eighteenth birthdays. And even though he swore on
his deathbed I was ready—that my future was more
than just being my brother’s keeper—the two years
following made his words seem like a coin tossed into
a wishing well.
Do I have any help? It’s coming. When this holiday
is over and we touch down again in Brisbane Town,
16
are you seeing me?
the balance my father wanted will be possible. “Home”
will be elsewhere for Perry. “Dependence” will be meas-
ured by degrees. The wishing well will answer with the
name Fair Go Community Village. Yes, help is coming,
all right.
But the truth is, I never asked for it.
I want to tell these polite outsiders all of this and
assure them of one last, important fact: I am not an amazing person. But the itch to unburden recedes when
we’re interrupted by the pilot’s update. “Apologies, again, for the delay, folks. We are all set to go now. Shouldn’t be a problem making up for lost time.”
I shift my attention from Jane to Perry. He senses
the rolling movement of the plane and removes his
earbuds.
“We’re moving,” he announces. He digs around in the
seat pocket and extracts the laminated safety card. He
lifts it high so it is visible to the passengers behind him.
“If we crash on takeoff, I can help save some of you!
No lie, I have first-aid expertise!”
“Shoosh!” I rein Perry in with a tug on his forearm.
Amid the crowd murmurings—some good-natured,
others not so forgiving—I turn back to Jane. “Why would
I need any help?”
17
Document Outline
Cover
Title Page
Rip
Infinite
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Blue
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Acknowledgments
Author Bio - Darren Groth
Author Bio- Simon Groth
Excerpt from Are You Seeing Me?
