by Adams, S. C.
“What? So soon? What did you do to screw up this one?”
“Really, Mom?” I ask with a huff. “Most mothers comfort their daughters after a break-up… oh, but not Renee Smith! She just blames her daughter and reminds her of how fat she is,” I say, disgusted with her attitude.
I stand up and am about to walk away, but Mom seizes my wrist.
“Lexi, I’m sorry. Please sit down,” she begs.
I mull it over for a moment and decide to give her one last try.
“Why are you like this, Mom? Is it because Dad isn’t here for you to nag?”
“That’s not fair, Lexi,” Mom says. “I know I’m tough on you, but it’s because I don’t want you to end up alone, like me.”
I can see the sadness in her eyes, and somehow, I find myself comforting my mother instead of her being there for me.
“Mom, you know Dad wouldn’t be upset if you met someone else. He would want you to be happy.”
She nods. “You’re right. It’s just hard. I still love him so much. I pray that you will find a love like your father and I had.”
“I pray for that, too,” I sigh. “Kane felt like my best shot at it.”
“Then why are you letting him get away? What happened that you can’t get back together with him?”
I stare at Mom for a moment and sigh.
“I didn’t tell him about the engagement. Or about me being stood up at the altar. Or that he looks a lot like Jason…”
“What do you mean he looks like Jason?” Mom asks, confused.
“I mean, they could be twins. Except Kane is older and more beautiful and is a wonderful person…” I sniffle. “I miss him, Mom.”
She squeezes my hand across the table.
“Lexi, if he really cares about you, he’ll get over this. You should have told him, but I know how much Jason hurt and embarrassed you. I’d forgotten how much you used to smile before him… Does Kane make you smile?”
“Until my face hurts,” I laugh through my tears.
“Give him some time, sweetie.”
After lunch, part of me feels better and the other part feels worse. Mom advised I give Kane time, but that’s no guarantee. Time can heal, but time can also put too much distance between people.
By the end of the day, I’m a walking zombie. Besides the fact that I haven’t slept in days, I’m emotionally drained. I’m trying to finish up work so that I can head home for a nap before seeing Melanie for happy hour tonight.
Unfortunately, Renata has other plans for me. She is currently babbling on about “The Bachelorette” while I’m trying to work. Kill me now.
“Renata, I don’t care about that show. I just want to finish telling you the items to order so that I can go home.”
She cracks her gum and huffs.
“You’ve been a real bitch lately.”
“Excuse me?”
“What’s your problem? Do you still have your panties in a bunch over Jason? Girl, you gotta move on.”
I slap my hand against the desk.
“I don’t give a flying fuck about Jason Peckham!”
Renata is shocked as I scream at her.
“Lexi!” Janice, one of the owners, calls out. “Can I speak to you in my office?”
Shit. Renata smirks at me as I step into Janice’s office. Janice closes the door behind us, and I look at her apologetically.
“I’m sorry I flipped out, but Renata has been getting on my last nerve…”
“Lexi, I’m sorry, but we have to let you go.”
“What?!” I gasp. “Over Renata? Come on, Julia can’t stand her either.”
“It’s not because of Renata. Though I would love to fire her too,” Janice sighs. “We can’t afford to keep you on. I’m sorry.”
“W-what about my clients?” I ask, not believing I’m being fired the same week I’ve been dumped.
Well, kind of dumped. Kane and I weren’t even an official couple or anything.
“Julia and I will split your clients. Look, it’s nothing personal. You’re a great interior designer. Business is just slow right now. We’ll call you if it picks back up.”
“Do I at least get a severance package?”
Janice bares her teeth in an unflattering way as she shakes her head… as if I’m asking for too much.
“Great,” I sigh and storm out of the office.
“Did you just get fired?” Renata asks, standing up with her mouth hanging open, as if the thought excites her.
I can’t resist the opportunity to smack her in the forehead, causing her to fall back down into her rolling chair. I gather my things quickly and storm out of the building. Is this really happening to me?
A couple of hours later, I’m sitting at The Drunken Bucket, and Ricky is keeping my glass full. I can’t help but scan the room every so often looking for Kane. It hurts to be in the same place I met him, but at the same time, it makes me feel closer to him.
Melanie walks in and sits on the stool beside me. She opens her arms to me, and I fall into them.
“It’s going to be okay, girlie.”
I know her words are meant to comfort me, but I can’t imagine anything ever being okay again. I’d finally gotten over being jilted at the altar only to get my heart broken and lose my job a month later.
Ricky comes over and leans forward to give Melanie a kiss. They have been on a handful of dates, and while I’m happy for my best friend, it hurts to see happy couples right now.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Ricky smiles at Melanie. “For my viewing pleasure and to slow Chugs down,” he pats my arm as he says this, and I stick my tongue out at him.
“Look, Lex, you hated working for that company anyway,” Melanie reasons.
“No, I didn’t. I hate Renata and my bosses and my clients, but the job…”
Melanie raises an eyebrow at me, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Okay, so the company sucks, but it was my first job out of college,” I reason. “I needed the experience.”
“And now you have that experience to take to a bigger and better interior design company.”
Melanie is always the voice of reason.
“I just wish I had left them and already had a job lined up. I don’t know how I’m going to afford my apartment now,” I sigh.
“You’ll file for unemployment, and you can move in with me until you get back on your feet.”
“Mel, I can’t ask you to do that.”
She waves me off. “You’re my best friend. It’ll be like college all over again.”
I smile in appreciation. “Thank you.”
The glass of vodka stares back at me, so I pick it up. Melanie pushes the glass back down.
“How many is this?”
“Two,” I shrug.
“Four,” Ricky chimes in out of nowhere. I scowl at him.
“Tattletale.”
Melanie laughs, and I take a sip.
“No word from Kane, huh?”
I shake my head, feeling tears coming on.
“I don’t know how I let myself fall for him. He must think I’m a psychopath.”
“Lexi, I’ll admit I thought it was a little crazy that you hooked up with Jason’s clone… but after hanging out with you both a couple of times, I can clearly see that Kane is nothing like Jason. Yeah, they look alike, but Kane’s way hotter,” Melanie says as if she can’t believe it herself.
“Hey!” Ricky overhears her last comment and pouts at Melanie teasingly.
“I mean he’s hotter than Jason… not you, baby,” Melanie sweet talks him.
Ricky laughs. “Hell, even I think Kane is hot.”
Melanie laughs, and I crack a smile at that.
“And more importantly, Kane treated you well. I saw the way he looked at you,” she says.
A smile spreads across my face before I immediately turn angry.
“Why the hell would you say all of that?! You’re just as bad as my mother with her ‘give it time’ speech!”
<
br /> “What?” Melanie asks, taken back by my outburst.
“Oh, Kane is so good-looking, and he treated you so well…” I repeat, mimicking Melanie in a bad impression. “Like any of that matters now? Kane hates me!”
I’m drunk, poor, dramatic, and heartbroken. What a God-awful combination!
“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, Lexi. But I’m not trying to make it worse. I’m trying to tell you that you’re not so crazy!”
People are starting to stare at us because our voices are getting louder. I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“God, how did my life become such a mess so quickly?” I heave a burdensome sigh.
“You can only go up from here, right?” Melanie offers.
I’m not so sure. All I know is that I’m not looking forward to searching for a new job and sleeping on Melanie’s couch. And I certainly don’t want anything to do with men anytime in the immediate future.
It’s funny. When Jason left me, I needed to get rid of any trace of him from my life with sex… with someone else, to prove I was free. Now, with Kane… I don’t want to prove my freedom. I don’t want to get rid of him. I want him back.
19
Kane
Two weeks have passed since I kicked Lexi out of my penthouse. I wish I could get the look on her face out of my mind. Her face had been covered in tears and regret.
I’ve been burying myself in work since then, often coming in earlier and staying later. I don’t want to be in the penthouse alone. It suddenly feels too big and too lonely. Memories of Lexi in my bed or in the shower are all I can see when I’m there.
Kayla seems to miss Lexi, too. She sits by the door and cries. Lexi was only in my life for a brief few weeks, but somehow, she’d made a lasting impression on us both.
Today is a slow day at work. There are no meetings. No reports. No special retirement lunches or birthdays. No deals I have to sign-off on. It’s just me staring at my computer while my mind wanders.
I’m still processing what went on. It hurts knowing that Lexi hit on me just because I look like someone else. Did she want to get back at her ex by sleeping with me? I shake that thought away.
I close out of my email and open my web browser. I type in the name “Jason Peckham” and hit enter. A slew of results pops up. Images of what looks like my face fill the computer screen. The first link is from a New York City gossip blog.
NYC Playboy Jason Peckham Gets Community Service for Marijuana Possession
The next link is Jason’s Facebook page. I click on it. His profile photo is of him appearing to be high with two skinny blondes with fake tits in bikini tops standing next to him. I scroll down and see his statuses from a little over a month ago.
In Bora Bora and single!
Sorry to anyone looking forward to my wedding. It wasn’t what I wanted. I hope you all understand.
Last night as a single man… bring on titties and ass!
A photo of him with a stripper on his lap accompanies his bachelor party post. How could he disrespect Lexi with a post like that? All of his statuses are emotionless and cavalier, like he doesn’t give a damn about anyone but himself. What a douche! What the fuck did Lexi see in him?
The phone rings, and I absently answer it.
“Kane Jones speaking.”
“I was getting worried about you,” Dad sighs. “I even called your mother to see if she’s heard from you.”
Dad must have been really worried to call my mother. They only tolerate seeing each other every once in a while for my sake.
“Sorry, Dad. I’ve been working a lot.”
“Yeah, yeah. You always work too much. I hope you’re making time for that new girlfriend of yours.”
I sigh. “She was never my girlfriend.”
“What happened?”
“I found some things out about her, that’s all,” I explain.
“What kind of things? Is she a lesbian? I hear that can be fun to work with.”
“Christ, Dad,” I laugh. “No, she’s not a lesbian. She just got out of an engagement, but she never bothered to tell me about it.”
“Kane, do you like this girl?”
“I did, but now I’m confused…”
“Talk to her. Let her explain. Don’t be like your mother.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She was always too prideful and afraid to be vulnerable. She was too close-minded to ever hear me out or to concede in a fight.”
My mother is a stubborn lady. I do take after her in a lot of ways, which is probably why she and I are both still single.
“Don’t be too proud to hear this girl out. You know how hard it is to deal with a broken heart. I’m sure it wasn’t something she wanted to dredge up.”
According to Lexi, Jason didn’t break her heart because she never loved him. I suppose that should make me feel better, but it doesn’t. It makes me wonder why the hell she would force herself to marry a guy she didn’t love. It wasn’t like he was a good guy either. Did she want him for his money or his looks?
I decide I do need to confront her.
“I’ll talk to her, okay?”
After I hang up with my father, I let out a sigh. Am I really going to talk to Lexi? Do I want to hear more about whatever twisted game she was playing?
On second thought, I do need closure. I can’t go on trying not to think about her, which only makes me think about her more. Googling her and her ex-fiancé is definitely not helping either.
I pick up my phone and remember I deleted Lexi’s phone number and all of her text messages in anger. It’s probably better I talk to her in person anyway.
For the first time in two weeks, I leave work early to catch Lexi at work. Her office is much closer to my job than her apartment is. I just hope she’s not at a client’s house or a showroom today.
I walk into the building and approach the front desk.
“Hello, I’m here to see Lexi Smith at Elite Interiors,” I tell the man sitting there.
“Oh, Lexi isn’t here,” someone says from behind me.
I turn around. A short, petite woman who looks about twelve is standing there. I’m assuming this is the infamous Renata. Lexi once described her as a little Vulcan.
She gasps. “Jason? It’s so good to see you.”
Renata hugs me before staring at me with a stupid smile on her face.
“Not Jason,” I sigh.
Renata backs up, realizing I’m not who she thought I was.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Wow, you look a lot like Jason,” she shakes her head in a daze.
“I know,” I say through my teeth. “Did Lexi leave for the day?”
Renata snorts, “Well… she left for the rest of her life. She was fired last week. Are you related to Jason?”
“Fired?” I ignore her question about Jason.
“Yup, tough couple of months for Lexi. First that embarrassment of an almost wedding, and now she’s unemployed. I don’t even blame her for that little meltdown she had with me. I’m not going to press charges, even though she put her hands on me. I mean, no wonder Jason got cold feet if she gets violent like that often…”
“Lexi hasn’t said enough about you,” I say sarcastically, sticking my hands in my pockets.
Renata grins as if I’m flirting with her.
“Oh no? Like what didn’t she mention?”
“Like how much of a catty little bitch you are. Saying you were annoying was too much of a compliment,” I tell her.
Her mouth hangs open, and I even hear the doorman snicker his approval. I head out of the building and mull over which form of transportation to take–the subway or a taxi, debating which would be faster. I decide on a taxi and head toward Morningside Heights.
During the ride, I think about Lexi losing her job and wonder what the hell happened. And Lexi got violent with Renata? I’m more than a little worried about her, despite the anger I still feel toward her.
20
Kane
About thirty minutes later, the taxi stops in front of Lexi’s apartment entrance. As I pay the driver, I see a resident walking inside the building. I rush to catch up to him so that I don’t have to be buzzed in.
I take the elevator up to Lexi’s floor and walk to her door. I’ve only been to the place once before. Thankfully, I have an impeccable memory. It has always served me well in business. I ring the bell but don’t hear anything. Growing impatient, I ring the bell again.
“Just a second!” Lexi calls out.
I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed her voice until that moment. I steel myself to not pull her into my arms as soon as I see her. I didn’t come here to kiss and make-up. I came for closure… and to see how she is. In spite of everything, I still care about her well-being.
Lexi must have looked through the peephole because I hear a soft gasp on the other side.
“Lexi?” I call out.
I hear the lock on the door turn and the chain being undone. Lexi opens the door a smidge. She has a bandana wrapped in her hair to push it back from her face. Her white tank top clings to her heaving breasts. Damn, I miss her.
“Did I interrupt something?” I ask.
She looks sweaty and is out of breath.
“No. What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
“I guess,” she concedes reluctantly.
She opens the door to reveal an empty apartment. All of her things are in boxes.
“You’re moving?”
“Yeah,” she says softly. “That’s why I look a mess.”
Her hand flies to her hair self-consciously. I want to tell her she looks adorable, especially as she turns around. The yoga pants she has on make her supple ass look delicious.
Focus, Kane!
“Listen,” she says, walking toward me.
I put a hand up to stop her.
“No, you listen. You tricked me,” I snarl.
“What?” she says. “I tricked you? How?”
“You tricked me into thinking this was real,” I motion between us with my hands. “And then I find out you’re a big fucking phony like all of the other girls…”
“Whoa!” she gasps. “I was never phony! Not with you, Kane!”
