Damon got up and put his dishes in the sink, probably for his housekeeper to take care of later. “I meant that. You just have to be prepared for disappointment. It’s not completely inconceivable that you’ll have a good home life or a great career. You just can’t expect to have it all. Somewhere, you will fall short.”
I took my dishes to the sink. Suddenly, I wasn’t very hungry anymore.
“Why can you have it all, but I can’t?” I challenged.
He smiled wearily. “First of all, I wouldn’t describe myself as having it all. Secondly, while I did work my ass off for this from a very young age, I had my dad’s literal foot steps to follow in. When my dad retired from CUIMC, I was already on in with the CEO and hospital administration, being the youngest person in New York to become a surgeon was just a bonus. A way for the CEO to brag about gaining me as part of the network. I didn’t have to go out and do internships with other hospitals and apply like most doctors do. I was just there. I am good at it, but it was expected of me. If you’re born into the royal family, you don’t choose to become a plumber. Sometimes I wonder if I would be happier as a plumber.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Okay, so maybe not a plumber, but you get the idea. The lifestyle I live is pretty great, for the most part. But, when you get down to it, why do you want to be a surgeon?”
I opened my mouth to give my pre-written answer that I told everyone.
“And, don’t mention anything about your late father’s influence on you,” he interrupted before I could get my answer out.
I thought for a moment. I really couldn’t think of any other reason. I knew I probably could in any other circumstance. I was just flustered at this particular moment.
“See,” he said smugly. “I think you’re very smart and resourceful. I also think you have a kind heart and a gentle disposition. Now, tell me what you want to get out of a career?”
I wanted to say something about helping people, but my mind kept flashing to the magazine cover I once saw Damon’s face on. I remember wanting that so badly. If I were rich and successful, I could show everyone that I wasn’t the weird little girl from Hazelwood. I would be throwing the parties, not lurking outside, wishing I could be invited.
Seeing as I was speechless, he spoke first. “I’ll tell you what I want out of my career. Ever since I started in this career, I’ve realized that it isn’t everything I thought it would be. I became a surgeon because my dad was a surgeon, his dad was a surgeon, hell, even my great-granddad was a surgeon. It was expected of me. I didn’t really have a choice. Do I like it? Yeah, it’s okay. Some days I love it. Other days, not so much. Am I good at it? Yeah, I’m damn good at it. Do I save lives? All the time. Is it fucking stressful as hell? Yep, definitely. The biggest question I find myself asking, is am I happy doing what I’m doing?” He shrugged.
I threw my hands up in exasperation. “You’re telling me that the guy who dishes advice all over the place hates his job?”
He shrugged again. “I’m not saying I hate it. I’m not even saying I’m really unhappy. I just know I could be doing more. Sure, I save lives, but I could have been a general practitioner and probably been happy helping my patients live healthier lives, rather than saving them from the stupid things they do to ruin their lives and ending up in my surgical theater. Granted that’s only a small portion of my patients, and most played no hand in ending up on my table, but still. I don’t spend more than a short period with my patients. I meet them, perform the surgery get them going on aftercare and move on to the next. I rarely see the same patient more than once or twice.”
I wanted to be angry with him for misleading me, but when it came down to it, he had never been anything other than truthful with me. In fact, he was often quite blunt. I was the one who chose to ignore what he was saying. Perhaps he was right about everything, and I was the one too caught up in my fantasy to think about what I truly wanted. When I heard what he was saying, I realized that I agreed with all of his criticisms of the job. My values were surprisingly in line with his, even though we lived completely different lives. Perhaps I had been chasing a faulty picture my whole life, in hopes that it would fill the missing pieces of my life.
“You look upset,” he said after we sat in silence for a bit.
I shook my head. “I think I’m just confused.”
Damon came over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I want you to be happy and successful in whatever you do. If you find that in being a surgeon, then I’ll help you with that. If you decide to change courses, I’ll support that, too.”
“Why, though?” I asked. “You don’t have to give me any help. You don’t have to give me any advice outside of what you tell all the interns.”
He smiled and nuzzled his face in the top of my messy hair. “You’re not just one of the interns. I actually give a shit about what happens to you.”
“Why?” I asked, still in disbelief that I was spending this much time in close quarters with Damon.
“Who knows?” he mused. “But, I’m very clearly into you, and if I can’t show you normal signs of affection, then I can at least give you my knowledge.”
My heart sped up. “Thanks,” I said softly.
“You still seem worried,” he said, looking concerned.
I nodded. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
He took my hand in his and gave it a kiss. “I think I know something that might help.”
Chapter 17
Damon
I felt just slightly guilty about upsetting Olivia. I didn’t mean for her to have an existential crisis at my kitchen table, but I still felt like she needed to be realistic with herself. At first, I could go along with her idealization of my career, because it was flattering that she felt so highly of me. But, at the same time, I actually kind of gave a shit about what became of her, so I wanted to set her straight. If it were anyone else, I’d probably stay silent and laugh when they realized the job wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. For some reason, it was different with Olivia.
I hated to see her idolizing me when she didn’t really know me. We spent lots of intimate time together in the past few days, but she saw me on a superficial level. I hadn’t said much more to her than I would to the nosiest reporter. I was unapologetic about my words and behavior, and I rarely censored myself. If I was flirty with Olivia, it was because I was flirty with a lot of girls I found attractive. In fact, I was also flirty with girls I wasn’t particularly attracted to. It was just another way of communicating for me.
Yes, I had taken a special interest in Olivia and promised to help out her career, but we weren’t dating, or anything. I knew I didn’t owe her anything, but I felt as though I should be a little more careful with her. Many of the women I spent time with could handle themselves just fine. Olivia was tough, but still delicate in a way that made me worry about her future. She had the potential, but I feared she would burn bright for a short amount of time before burning out altogether. I’d seen it happen over and over again in med school and even with a few of the doctors at CUIMC. Especially those in the ER.
At the same time, I had to remind myself that her issues were not the same as mine. Though I saw similarities between the two of us, I had to separate my struggles from her goals and dreams. Did I wonder if she was getting into medicine for all the wrong reasons? Probably, but I wasn’t sure if that was my business. When it came down to it, I didn’t know her on a deeper level, either. I just felt bad that I spoiled what had been an otherwise amazing weekend with a pretty girl.
With my guilt, I decided I would try to take her mind off of it. Mind you, I would also benefit from this as well. It was fairly early, and my morning wood hadn’t completely settled down.
“I had this put in a few years ago, and have hardly used it,” I said, escorting her to my patio. I flipped a switch on the wall, and the jets in the hot tub started to rumble.
“You don’t use this?” she exclaimed. “If I had a hot tub, I would be in h
ere every day. I would kill for this kind of lifestyle.”
“You say that now, but it’s not as much fun to hot tub alone,” I said. “Sure, it’s nice if you’re entertaining guests, but most nights, I just lay on the couch until I fall asleep. Then, when you have friends over, you have to clean it because I don’t like to have a lot of chemicals in here, and people like to behave badly in hot tubs,” I added with a wink.
“It’s such a nice day,” she said, looking up at the sky. Fluffy, white clouds drifted overhead, creating perfect intervals of warm sun and cool shade. She held out an arm and let her fingers float over the wooden screen that kept the hot tub private, but still made it feel like we were in the open. “I didn’t bring a bathing suit.”
I couldn’t help but grin at her naivety. We had engaged in sexual intercourse not more than twelve hours ago and she was concerned about having something to wear in the hot tub.
“I wasn’t planning on putting on a swimsuit, if that makes you feel any better,” I said.
She blushed and took the hint. After following my lead, she stripped off my clothes and splashed into the warm water. Her perky breasts floated on top of the water, until she finally lowered herself to her neck and paddled toward me.
The hot tub was really like a small swimming pool with jets. I would have installed a full lap pool, but there wasn’t quite enough room on the deck. I would have to wait until I bought a house in the suburbs.
“Want me to give you a massage?” I asked. Other women had told me I was pretty good at it. It was also a sure-fire way to get a different kind of massage from the girl once I was finished.
“Yeah, actually, that sounds pretty nice,” she said, getting closer to me.
As I worked on her tense shoulders, she started to relax a little. “I hope I didn’t freak you out or whatever,” I said. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s fine,” she mumbled. “Maybe you’re right and maybe you’re full of shit. Either way, I can take care of myself.”
“Good,” I said.
“So, what would you do if you weren’t a surgeon?”
I thought for a moment. I wasn’t entirely sure, but I had some ideas. However, I hadn’t shared these thoughts with anyone, let alone a girl I had known for just a handful of days. As a rule, I didn’t get too close to anyone I didn’t plan on keeping around. Friends, family, and business partners could be trusted. But, since I already broken the façade of a happy career, I figured I might as well tell her more about my future goals.
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “There’s about a million things I think I’d enjoy doing. Property management might be nice. Unfortunately, if you’re not great at it, you’re just throwing away money. I think I have enough now that I could invest in some smaller developments. Housing for college students is pretty hot right now.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Well, this place is nice. I guess you’ve at least got an eye for style. But, it might be risky when you consider the chance of another housing crisis.”
“True,” I replied. “I also think I wouldn’t have minded owning my own business. If I were the guy on top, I’d make a lot more money, doing a lot less work. I think it might be less stressful than having lives literally in your hands, really. You just have to have the knowledge and intuition to make things work out in your favor.”
“What kind of business interests you?” she asked, as my hands made their way down her back.
“Maybe something in tech,” I said. “There’s a lot of potential there. I don’t know that I could be the one to invent anything, but to find someone with the right ideas, but no business sense, could work. Then, they can leave the business decisions to me, and have them and the other employees really focus on the product. I don’t know if any major existing companies would take me on as CEO, but I think I could get there on my own, if I wanted to leave the medical field.”
“Well, I’d invest in you,” she replied. “I think you’d probably be good at just about anything.”
I crinkled my brow and held her waist. “Wait, what wouldn’t I be good at?”
She giggled. “Well, you’re never going to be a professional chef, are you?”
I picked her up and put her on my lap, my arms still tight around her waist. We laughed as we got closer, the water sloshing over our naked bodies. Then, with a serious look in her eye, she turned and straddled me, carefully slipping herself on top of me.
It was a pleasant surprise, having her take control like that. I was extremely aroused by this, and she knew. I kissed her chest and watched her face as she got off on top of me. It was so incredibly sexy the way she ground on top of me that I found myself switching positions with her, just to give myself a little break. We made love in the open air without a care in the world. When it was over, we floated around in bliss, exchanging naughty smiles with each other.
“You’re full of surprises,” I said, as she got out and draped a towel around her dripping body.
“You keep saying that,” she replied, wringing out her long hair.
“It’s because it’s true,” I said, quickly wrapping a towel around my waist. “I’m glad you introduced yourself that day in class. It’s been a good weekend.”
“I agree. I don’t know if you’ve realized this, but I’ve been here just about all weekend.”
“You don’t have to go,” I said quickly. “I could order in something.”
She made a pained expression. “If I don’t leave now, I don’t think I ever will. We have to return to reality eventually.”
“Okay,” I pouted, opening the door to the apartment for her. I followed her to the bedroom, where she picked up her sundress off of my rug and tossed it on the bed as she looked for her undergarments and shoes.
Seeing her in the nude made me horny all over again. And, when I got to thinking about it, I realized that we had yet to have sex in my bed. We had been too busy getting it on around my apartment that we hadn’t even rolled around in my sheets.
“Ten more minutes, please?” I pleaded as I caressed her body. She tried to suppress a smile, but it broke through anyway.
“Fine,” she said, jumping onto the bed. “But only because you asked so nicely.”
Chapter 18
Damon
I didn’t necessarily want to leave Damon’s apartment, but if I didn’t leave now, I never would. I had finally managed to put my clothes back on, and if I stuck around for much longer, he would talk me out of them again.
“I’ve got to get back to my apartment and do that paper you assigned,” I said. “I guess I’ll see you in sessions. Is it going to be weird?”
“Are you going to make it weird?” he asked.
“No,” I said, but I didn’t really know to how act as though I hadn’t been sleeping with him. I wasn’t really aware of how I acted in sessions before we met, so I had no reference to go off of.
“Then it won’t be weird,” he said firmly. “Why are we talking about this now? I was going to drive you home.”
“Nah, it’s fine,” I said, slipping on my shoes. “I’ll take the train.”
“What? No,” he replied. “At the very least, take a cab. I’ll pay for it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “It’s the train. I take it all the time and I’ve survived this long. Aren’t we a little too close in age for you to be my sugar daddy? I don’t have any experience with those things, but I always imagined those were middle aged men with much younger women.”
“Cab fare hardly qualifies me as such. Really, it’s nothing,” he said, pulling cash from his wallet.
I took it, only because he was so insistent. I hated taking his money, especially for something petty like cab fare, but my budget didn’t really allow for such luxurious transportation methods.
I wasn’t sure what to do as I prepared to leave his place. Did I give him a wave as I walked out of his apartment, or did I give him a passionate kiss? I wasn’t sure what we were, so I didn’t know how to behave. In his apartment
, we were in our own little world. At the charity event, we were pretend boyfriend and girlfriend, doctor and intern, friends and friends with benefits. I was just as confused as I had been the night of our ill-fated date, but with even more complications now.
Luckily, Damon answered the question for me. He strode forward and gave me a nice goodbye kiss. I loved the way his big hands wrapped around my waist when he got close to me. It was so tender and sweet.
“I’ll see you around,” he said with a wink.
I went to the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor, watching him disappear as the shiny doors closed in front of my face. I leaned against the wall, the same one where he pressed his body against mine not long ago. How could I ever return to normal after this weekend? This was by far the strangest week of my life. There had been tears, laughs, and cries of pleasure. I had learned insider secrets and learned more about the mysterious Dr. Damon Rye. I had done almost zero studying and lots of flirting. I left Damon’s apartment a changed woman.
Feeling pretty hot after a sensual weekend, I strutted out of the elevator like a model on the catwalk. I was wearing yesterday’s outfit from the secondhand store, but I might as well have been wearing Prada. I felt powerful and unstoppable. I did, until I heard a voice from the lobby.
“Olivia?” a high pitched man’s voice asked. At first, I ignored it because there was no way anyone knew me there. It was likely someone else. But, when I heard my name again, I slowly turned around.
Standing behind me, slightly dumbfounded, was one of the other interns.
Forbidden Prescription 6: A Stepbrother Fake Girlfriend Medical Romance (Forbidden Medicine) Page 10
