So that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. (Col. 1:10-12)
Guiding Others to Freedom
Before we came to the Cross by faith, we couldn't please God. Now that the Cross has cast its shadow over our lives and Christ's blood has cleansed us from our sin, we are gloriously free—free to please Him. But we don't have to. And when we don't, we can get caught in the cords of our sin.
One writer describes the path of continued sin quite vividly:
One lie has to be covered by a dozen more . . .
The downward cycle of sin moves from a problem to a faulty sinful response, thereby causing an additional complicating problem which [is] met by . . . additional sinful response. . . .
Sinful habits are hard to break, but if they are not broken they will bind [you] ever more tightly. [You will be] held fast by these ropes ... in a downward cycle. ... At length, [you] become sin's slave. 2
Need a good warning? A healthy reminder? Never give yourself permission to hide behind grace as a cover for disobedience. Scripture calls that presumption. I've noticed that more and more Christians are prone to do that. Within the past eight or ten years I have heard and seen grace abused in this manner more than ever before in my ministry. One more voice deserves to be heard on the subject. John Henry Jowett wrote words many years ago that still sting with relevance:
Sin is a blasting presence, and every fine power shrinks and withers in the destructive heat. Every spiritual delicacy succumbs to its malignant touch. . . . Sin impairs the sight, and works towards blindness. Sin benumbs the hearing and tends to make men deaf. Sin perverts the taste, causing men to confound the sweet with the bitter, and the bitter with the sweet. Sin hardens the touch, and eventually renders a man "past feeling." All these are Scriptural analogies, and their common significance appears to be this—sin blocks and chokes the fine senses of the spirit; by sin we are desensitised, rendered imper-ceptive, and the range of our correspondence is diminished.
Guiding Others to Freedom
Sin creates callosity. It hoofs the spirit, and so reduces the area of our exposure to pain. 3
Life is like a menu in the Grace Restaurant. In this new establishment you are free to choose whatever you want. But whatever you choose will be served to you and you must eat it. If you choose the wrong food and realize later just how badly your body reacted to it, don't think that grace will protect you from getting sick. There is good news, however. God's grace does hold out the hope of acceptance before the Father. He will welcome you back into His fellowship if you deal with the wrong, repent of it, and get back on track.
Since I am a brother in the same family, I may warn you of the harm it will cause you to make the wrong choice, but grace means I take hands off and give you the freedom to choose. God is quite capable of guiding you. He will lead some to live one kind of lifestyle and others to live another . . . some to choose this occupation, others another . . . some, this career, others that one. He will direct some to rear their children this way and others to rear their children another way. You have the freedom to do whichever. You may prefer this kind of music; I may prefer a different kind of music. I may decide to emphasize this in my ministry; you may choose that. One of us may give this amount, another that. Some may live in this kind of house, others in another. Those options are all open to us. Because there are differences of taste or preference, grace frees us to choose. My counsel is this: Let people make their own choices. Accept them as they are. Let's uphold each other's right to have different opinions, convictions, and preferences. By doing so we keep opening up holes in the ice for one another. We all breathe easier.
I heard a fine group of singers several years ago who traveled around Southern California. They called themselves "Gospel State of Mind." Great harmony . . . good spirit . . . wonderful music, much of it original. One of their selections was about grace. As I listened to them and watched
Guiding Others to Freedom
the joy with which they sang, I thought, / like the name of their group. It fits. As I write these pages on grace, I am reminded of their song, and it occurs to me that what I'm urging is not just tacking grace onto our vocabulary, but cultivating it in each other . . . encouraging a mental framework of grace in one another. My plea is for the body of Christ to have a "grace state of mind." As this transpires an awakening will become obvious to all, even those outside the ranks of Christianity.
IMPORTANT REALIZATIONS
When we read through Romans 6:19-23, we come to several realizations that are important in cultivating this "grace state of mind."
First, we discover the indisputable fact that we need a master. Christ is the ideal one to choose. We don't do well with no one in authority over us. We cannot handle either life's pressures or life's temptations strictly on our own. God didn't create us to live isolated lives without a master. We need Him in charge.
Read the balance of the chapter slowly:
. . . For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? for the outcome of those things is death. But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom. 6:19-23)
Guiding Others to Freedom
As I read those words and try to put what they are saying into simple terms, I come up with two statements. First this passage is teaching us to make the right choice. Look again at the first three verses, this time from the New International Version: "I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!" (w. 19-21)
And second, I believe it is telling us to focus on the benefits of our current position in grace. Again, from the New International Version, read the next two verses: "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (w. 22-23).
• Because of God's grace we are freed from sin's mastery.
• By God's grace we are enslaved to God.
• Through God's grace there are benefits to be derived.
What benefits? I can think of at least three: an exciting process of growing up and maturing as a Christian; a guilt-free lifestyle characterized by creativity and freedom; and finally, enjoying the outcome—eternal life. The alternative? A sinful lifestyle that results in "death wages." Several come to mind:
• Instant breakdown of fellowship with God
• Removal of His hand of blessing
• Misery of a guilty conscience . . . knowing how much others were hurt
Guiding Others to Freedom
• Loss of personal integrity
• Sudden stoppage of spiritual growth
• Strained relationships with fellow Christians
• Reproach brought to one's family and to the name of Christ
• Injury to the testimony of your local church
Yes, in grace you are free to choose either path. It is wise to choose righteous
ness. If that is your selection, quality life can be yours to enjoy . . . called here "eternal life." The benefits are numerous and all are delightful. But you can also choose the path of disobedience and start cashing in on some "death wages," all of which are awful. Before you yield to the temptation to abuse the grace God extends to you, spend some time considering the consequences. The scars of such a decision could mark you for life. Sins can be forgiven, but some scars cannot be erased.
I knew a fellow in high school who is now gone; he died of a sudden heart attack a couple years ago. What a guy! While in school he was the toughest, vilest, most rebellious kid in the class. He played the meanest game of football imaginable. He was also on the wrestling team (he was never pinned . . . never lost a match), and he played catcher on the baseball team. One of his summer hobbies was racing speedboats in Galveston Bay. He was one of those wild guys who preferred to drive his boat full speed at night. Needless to say, the last thing on his mind was any interest in spiritual things. Nothing any of us could say interested him in the least—until the night God got his attention.
While speeding about sixty miles an hour under a summer moon, his boat hit a large wave near Galveston's west jetties. The boat flipped and soon sank. Although pretty banged up, he was able to swim to some rocks where he grabbed hold. The sharp barnacles began to cut into his arms, chest, stomach, and legs. The waves and swells pulled him up and down, slicing his
Guiding Others to Freedom
skin into ribbons, which caused blood to flow rather freely into the water. Realizing that sharks might be near, he was scared for the first time in his life. This led him to do something else he'd never done before: pray. He told God that he didn't deserve it, but he asked to be rescued. Without realizing it, he prayed for grace . . . God's unmerited favor. He told the Lord he would not only become a Christian, he would become a minister (which, to him, was the ultimate, drastic sacrifice— ugh!). God graciously intervened.
It wasn't five minutes before a Coast Guard vessel spotted him with a searchlight and soon had him on board. He looked like raw meat—his arms, belly, and legs were shredded from the razorlike barnacles. In the hospital he did a lot of thinking. During recovery he truly gave his heart to Christ. No conversion was more amazing to those of us who had known him through school. As he healed, long and ragged vertical scars remained on his body, never allowing him to forget his narrow escape from death.
As time passed, however, he forgot his words to God and he chose to return to a carnal lifestyle—drinking heavily, chasing women, cursing, the whole ugly scene. He wasn't happy in his carnal state, but he never let on how miserable he was. Late one night he was driving while intoxicated and struck head-on a concrete column of an underpass. He was thrown through the windshield, leaving his face mutilated and permanently scarred.
Finally, that got his attention. He went on to college, then seminary, and for the remaining years until his death he proclaimed the Savior whom he had ignored and whose grace he had abused. He told me many years ago that every time, after a shower, as he stood in front of a mirror toweling off, those scars he bore silently shouted back at him . . . mute reminders of the wrong choices he had made both before and after his conversion. He was forgiven, but the scars didn't go away.
Yes, grace frees us to choose. We can decide to walk with God and draw strength from Him to face whatever life throws
Guiding Others to Freedom
at us. Or we can decide to walk away from God, like my friend, and face the inescapable consequences. The next time you are tempted to yield to your old master, remember this: Grace invites you to return and find forgiveness, but it doesn't automatically erase the scars that accompany sin; some could stay with you for life.
In spite of the terrible consequences sins may bring, I still must emphasize that grace means we allow others the freedom to choose, regardless. To do otherwise abuses as much as those who use their freedom as a license to sin. I am a firm believer in mutual accountability, but grace means I will not force or manipulate or judge or attempt to control you, nor should you do those things to me. It means we will keep on helping others to freedom by providing breathing holes. It means we deliberately let go so each of us can grow and learn on our own; otherwise, we shall never enjoy the liberty of an open sea. For most of us, letting others go is neither natural nor easy. Because we care, it is more our tendency to give people hints or advice. The thought of letting them fail or fall is extremely painful to us, but God treats us like that virtually every day of our lives. We tend to clutch, not release ... to put people in our frame and not allow them any breathing holes unless and until they accept the shape of our molds.
If you are like that, the following piece (author unknown) is written just for you. It will help you release your grip. Being a person of grace requires letting go of others.
LETTING GO
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another. To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
Guiding Others to Freedom
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself. To let go is not to care for,
but to care about. To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes. To let go is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny,
but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes. To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and love more!
8
The Grace to Let Others Be
#
G
1 race comes to us in two dimensions, vertical and horizontal. Vertical grace centers on our relationship with God. It is amazing. It frees us from the demands and condemnation of the Mosaic Law. It announces hope to the sinner—the gift of eternal life, along with all its benefits. Horizontal grace centers on our human relationships. It is charming. It frees us from the tyranny of pleasing people and adjusting our lives to the demands and expectations of human opinion. It gives relief—the enjoyment of freedom along with all its benefits. It silences needless guilt and removes self-imposed shame.
Few people realize better than non-Christians how guilt-ridden many Christians are. A lady in our congregation tells of a conversation she had with a fellow student while the two of them were students at the Berkeley campus of the University of California. He knew she was a Christian, and he made it painfully clear that he had no interest whatsoever in her faith. When she asked why, his answer bore the sting of reality: "Because the most guilt-ridden people I know are Christians. No thanks."
This is a good time for me to ask you two probing questions. Only you can answer them:
1. Do you add to others' guilt or do you lessen it?
2. Are you the type who promotes another's liberty or restrains it?
The Grace to Let Others Be
Both questions have to do with attitude, don't they? We do what we do with others because of the way we think. Our attitude, therefore, is crucial. It is also at our mercy. We have full control of which attitude we shall have: charming and gracious, or restrictive and rigid. Liberty or legalism will be the result. Depending on our attitude, we are grace givers or grace kill
ers. Dr. Victor Frankl survived three grim years at Auschwitz and other Nazi death camps. In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, he reflected back on those dark months and offers this insightful observation:
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.
And there are always choices to make, every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision . . . which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you would become the plaything of circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity to become molded into the form of the typical inmate. . . . even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone." 1
True words, and wise indeed. It's those inner decisions, not outer influences, that make us into the kind of people we are. One of my great hopes in writing this book is to encourage others to come to grips with the importance of maintaining a positive attitude that results in extending grace ... the kind of grace that lets others be whomever and whatever God is
The Grace to Let Others Be
leading them to be. Being that kind of person begins with an inner decision to release, to deliberately let go.
TWO STRONG TENDENCIES THAT NULLIFY GRACE
The Grace Awakening Page 14
