It could have been more passionate than that. Keep in mind that these are long-time friends. They had had significant years of ministry together. Their roots went way back. I have wondered if they might have been boyhood friends. Each of them owed the other a great deal. Barnabas stood for Paul, and Paul had stood for Barnabas. In a burst of emotions mixed with conflicting convictions their ministry together screeches to a halt, and they go in opposite directions.
If you have never had this happen, you cannot imagine the pain of it, especially if it happened between you and a co-worker in ministry. Don't minimize the conflict. It's painful beyond description. All is not lost, however. I remind you, the upside of it is that this is how new churches or seminaries are sometimes started. This is sometimes how campus ministries are expanded. Disagreements prompt fresh starts, new works, broader visions. The event that caused it to happen isn't good. It is more like a rock hitting a placid lake, creating a sudden wake where there are hurt feelings, at least initially. But the ripples continue on until people are greathearted enough to forget the pain and stop licking their wounds and proceed into new directions.
Who knows what ministries took place in Cyprus and regions beyond, thanks to the new missionary team, Barnabas and Mark? Furthermore, it was John Mark who wrote the Gospel of Mark. Even Paul stated at the end of his life, "... Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service" (2 Tim. 4:11). And he later writes favorably of Barnabas as well. Paul was too much of a man of grace to spend the rest of his life nursing a wound.
A. T. Robertson is right: "No one can rightly blame Barnabas for giving his cousin John Mark a second chance nor Paul for fearing to risk him again. One's judgment may go with Paul, but one's heart goes with Barnabas. . . . Paul and Barnabas parted in anger and both in sorrow. Paul owed more to
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
Barnabas than to any other man. Barnabas was leaving the greatest spirit of the time and of all times." 6
I hope we never forget something that is recorded in the final verse of the Acts 15 account. After Barnabas took Mark and set sail for Cyprus, "... Paul chose Silas and departed, being committed by the brethren to the grace of the Lord" (Acts 15:40).
One wonders if someone in the church didn't say, "Now, Paul, don't spend the rest of your life taking shots at Barnabas. You can handle this. Get over it and press on. Get on with it. It will take grace . . . the grace of the Lord."
It is interesting to me that the church does not commend Barnabas but commends Paul. I rather believe that they chose to side with Paul because they committed Paul to the new journey and not Barnabas. Maybe Barnabas left that night. Perhaps he chose not to stay around to negotiate his way through that mine field of opinions in the church at Antioch. The best part of all is that both of these strong-minded men got over the disagreement. That, too, takes enormous grace.
In too many cases the battle goes on and on and on, and the ministry becomes fractured because the opposing parties are not big enough to get over the initial hurt. Many people today emotionally are sitting in dark rooms, eaten up with bitterness because of an argument that they had with someone a long time ago. They feel they were humiliated or they feel they weren't listened to. How many are living out their lives with their spiritual shades drawn, thinking to themselves, I'll have nothing more to do with the church because of an argument they witnessed or maybe participated in? We need to be people who can disagree in grace and then press on, even if the disagreement leads to a separation.
A FEW PERSONAL REMARKS
Let me share a few things I have learned over the years that have to do with disagreements and/or relating to those with
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
whom I may not dot the same "I" or cross the same "T" theologically. To save time, I'll be specific and to the point. I'm not a hard-line, five-point Calvinist. However, I have no trouble calling those who do embrace this viewpoint my brothers and sisters in the faith. In fact, I continue to minister with them, and they with me. On more than one occasion I have invited those who represent reformed theology to speak in our pulpit in Fullerton. I have no problem with that whatsoever. I love those folks! I don't see it as an issue worth breaking fellowship over. Grace covers the difference.
Here's another grace-binding example: I'm not a charismatic. However, I don't feel it is my calling to shoot great volleys of theological artillery at my charismatic brothers and sisters. Who knows how much good they have done and the magnificent ministries many of them have? The church I pastor is not a charismatic church. The doctrinal roots of our church are not in that camp—probably never will be. But that does not mean that we break fellowship with individuals who are more of that persuasion or that we take potshots at them. There was a time in my life when I would have done that. Thankfully, I've grown up a little and learned that God uses many of them, in song as well as in writing and in pulpits today. Grace helps to hold us close.
I do not embrace covenant theology, but I have a number of pastor friends who are covenant theologians. Some of them are in my circle of friends in the ministry. We disagree on certain points of doctrine, but we're on the same team. We're going to spend eternity together. We're going to meet the Lord in the air (whether they believe it or not!). So we might as well enjoy each other's company on earth.
I have a friend who jokingly says he is so premillennial he doesn't even eat Post Toasties in the morning. Well, God bless him . . . I'm just not that extreme. I happen to be premillennial and pretribulational in my theological position, but I don't see that as an issue worth breaking Christian fellowship over. The deity of Christ is certainly crucial. And the inerrancy of
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
Scripture as well as a few other crucial issues. But most of the things we would name are not. Let's face it, there are far more things that draw us together than separate us.
The words of C. S. Lewis come to my mind. Following his conversion in 1929, he wrote to a friend: "When all is said (and truly said) about divisions of Christendom, there remains, by God's mercy, an enormous common ground." 7 In light of this, my encouragement for you today is that each one of us pursue what unites us with others rather than the few things that separate us. The "common ground" is vast. It's high time we focus on that. It will take grace, I remind you.
I speak at a number of different schools, including Christian schools and colleges, seminaries, and secular universities. And even though I would not necessarily endorse or encourage someone to study at some of these schools, it does not mean that I should not speak there or minister there or ask God to use me as I minister there. Grace frees me to disagree and to speak openly of Christ even in places that disagree with me.
There was a time in my life when I had answers to questions no one was asking. I had a position that was so rigid I would fight for every jot and tittle. I mean, I couldn't list enough things that I'd die for. The older I get, the shorter that list gets, frankly.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, I am learning that growing old gracefully and graciously is an important assignment. If I lose an argument, I should lose it graciously. If I win an argument, I am to accept it humbly. The most important thing is to glorify God—win or lose.
MODELING GRACE THROUGH DISAGREEABLE TIMES
I close this chapter with several comments that may help you handle future disagreeable times in a gracious manner. First, always leave room for an opposing viewpoint. If you
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
don't have room for an opposing viewpoint, you're not going to do well when you get teen-agers. Teens can be among our best teachers. I know ours have been. They haven't always been right, nor have I. However, I have learned in rearing teen-agers that they are great at pointing out another point of view, if nothing else than just to make me think, just to challenge me, just to remind me that there is another way of viewing things. I can assure you, it has helped me in
my ministry. It has certainly helped me in my relationship with those to whom I am personally accountable. Opposition is good for our humility.
Second, if an argument must occur, don't assassinate. An argument—even a strong clash—is one thing, but killing folks is another. I have seen individuals in an argument verbally hit below the belt and assault another's character. I've seen a lot of mud slinging happen in arguments related to the work of the church. I've seen brutal character assassinations occur in the name of religion—in public speaking as well as in writing—and they are all ugly memories. No need for that. If we must fight, let's fight fair.
Third, if you don't get your way, get over it, get on with life. If you don't get your way in a vote at a church, get over it. The vote was taken (if the church has integrity, the vote was handled with fairness), now get on with it. Just press on. And don't rehearse the fight or the vote year after year. The work of God slows down when we are not big enough to take it on the chin and say, "We lost!" Having been raised in the South, I didn't know the South lost the Civil War until I was in junior high school . . . and even then it was debatable among my teachers. Be big enough to say, "We lost." Grace will help.
Fourth, sometimes the best solution is a separation. There is good biblical support for this, remember. Paul and Barnabas simply couldn't go on together, so they separated. If I can't go on with the way things are in a particular ministry, I need to resign! But in doing so I should not drag people through my unresolved conflicts because I didn't get my way. If separation is the best solution, doing it graciously is essential. If your
Graciously Disagreeing and Pressing On
disagreements are starting to outweigh your agreements, you ought to give strong consideration to pulling out. Who knows? This may be God's way of moving you on to another dimension of ministry.
This chapter has been helpful for me personally. That may seem unusual, but occasionally an author needs to read his stuff with enough objectivity that it speaks directly to him. Over the past several years, disagreements voiced by various sources about matters of opinion have been more intense than usual. Some things especially have been hard to hear and painful to read. Cynthia and I have bitten our tongues on more than one occasion and refused to defend ourselves. In some cases we have been misrepresented and, though we've made a few attempts to correct the perception, misunderstanding persists. Erroneous statements and exaggerated rumors designed to discredit our ministry occasionally resurface. And it's painful. Things have been said against us that have caused some to question our credibility, which makes it difficult to stay silent and go on in grace. But we shall. Our confidence is that God will vindicate our integrity.
I now realize that the pain has been great because grace has been absent in so much of what others have thought, said, and written. But God gives grace for such times as these. What Cynthia and I must do is draw upon it, claim it, and give it in return ... in abundance. I am convinced that God's grace will see us through those occasions, even when others disagree. It always has.
And so . . . graciously disagreeing, we press on. It's all part of practicing what one preaches, right?
10
Grace: Up Close and Personal
^
B
'esides the Bible, perhaps the greatest book ever written was The Pilgrim's Progress. Those who are not familiar with this seventeenth-centuryvclassic would be surprised to know it was written by a man enduring his third term in jail. The first time he was in for six long years, the second time, for another six. The reason for both of those times behind bars was the same: preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. When he returned for a third sentence, John Bunyan, a tinker from Bedford, England, was led by God to write his immortal work. Like Handel when composing his musical magnum opus, Messiah, Bunyan's pen moved rapidly. As one man described it, ". . . it moved, indeed, with the speed of a dream—and the dream became a book." 1
The book, published over three hundred years ago, has touched lives literally around the globe. Who can imagine the multiple millions of copies, the numerous translations that have been released? Everywhere I turn I find others who, like me, have worn out more than one copy and still find delight in returning to the volume for personal enrichment. I reserve this endorsement for very few books, but I would say without hesitation that it is a creative masterpiece where biblical truth is made relevant for any generation.
It is the fascinating story of a man called Christian whose pilgrimage from earth to heaven, from sin to salvation, is full of
Grace: Up Close and Personal
all the struggles and pitfalls life could throw at him. Following his incredible journey, he reaches his long-awaited destination, the "paradise of God." From start to finish, Christian must deal with friend and foe alike, all of whom have descriptive names, like Evangelist, Help, Interpreter—who encourage him in his "progress"—and Pliable, Obstinate, Hypocrisy, Apol-lyon, a giant named Despair, and many others who hinder him. Of special trouble to Christian is Legality, whose dwelling, as you would imagine, was Mount Sinai. In the earlier part of his journey, Christian is traveling with a heavy pack on his back (sin) and none of those who worked against him could help relieve him of his burden . . . especially Legality, as one part states:
This Legality . . . is not able to set thee free from the burden. No man was as yet ever rid of his burden by him; no, nor ever is like to be: ye cannot be justified by the works of the law. 2
Shortly after encountering Legality, Christian is led by Interpreter into a large room full of dust. It had never been swept since the day it was built. Bunyan does a superb job describing how the room was swept and cleaned:
Then he took him by the hand, and led him into a very large parlour that was full of dust, because never swept; the which after he had reviewed a little while, the Interpreter called for a man to sweep. Now, when he began to sweep, the dust began so abundantly to fly about, that Christian had almost therewith been choked. Then said the Interpreter to a damsel that stood by, Bring hither the water, and sprinkle the room; the which, when she had done, it was swept and cleansed with pleasure.
Then said Christian, What means this?
The Interpreter answered, This parlour is the heart of a man that was never sanctified by the sweet grace of the gospel; the dust is his original sin and inward corruptions, that have defiled the whole man. He that began to sweep at first, is the Law; but she that brought water, and did sprinkle it, is the Gospel. Now,
Grace: Up Close and Personal
whereas thou sawest, that so soon as the first began to sweep, the dust did not fly about that the room by him could not be cleansed, but that thou wast almost choked therewith; this is to shew thee, that the law, instead of cleansing the heart (by its working) from sin, doth revive, put strength into, and increase it in the soul, even as it doth discover and forbid it, for it doth not give power to subdue.
Again, as thou sawest the damsel sprinkle the room with water, upon which it was cleansed with pleasure; this is to shew thee, that when the gospel comes in the sweet and precious influences thereof to the heart, then, I say, even as thou sawest the damsel lay the dust by sprinkling the floor with water, so is sin vanquished and subdued, and the soul made clean through the faith of it, and consequently fit for the King of glory to inhabit. 3
It took grace, "the sweet grace of the gospel," to cleanse that room of all its defilements. It still does.
All those familiar with The Pilgrim's Progress have no trouble remembering that the pilgrim's name throughout the book is Christian. To my surprise few remember his original name, even though it is plainly stated in the allegory. In the scene where it first appears, the pilgrim is conversing with a porter:
Porter: What is your name?
Pilgrim : My name is now Christian, but my name at the first was Graceless. 4
The same could be said for all of us today who claim the glorious name of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Our name is now Christian, but it has not
always been so. That title was given to us the moment we believed, the day we took God at His word and accepted the gift of eternal life He offered us. Prior to the name change, we were Graceless, indeed.
My question is this: Now that Christ has come into our lives and ripped that heavy pack of sin off our backs, are we now full of grace? Having been Graceless for so many years, are we "grace conscious," are we "grace aware," are we experiencing a
Grace: Up Close and Personal
"grace awakening," are we truly becoming "grace-full"? Models of grace are needed now more than ever.
THE PROCESS THAT LEADS TO GRACE AWAKENING
Want a boost of encouragement? Our God is working toward that end in all of His children. It is His constant pursuit, His daily agenda, as He points us toward our final destination, "the Celestial City," as Bunyan calls it. Having cleansed our hearts of the debris of inward corruptions and the dust of sin's domination, God is now daily at work awakening grace within us, perfecting our character and bringing it to completion. Let me show you from four New Testament sources why I am so sure of that.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren. (Rom. 8:28-29)
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil. 1:6)
Who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all (.Lings to Himself. (Phil. 3:21)
Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him. (Col. 3:9-10)
The Grace Awakening Page 18
