by Lesley Eames
‘No,’ Elsie said. ‘But I can perfectly imagine that pretty mouth turning discontented.’
‘So what’s to be done?’ Phyllis wondered.
‘Lily will just have to be ready to comfort Artie when it all goes wrong,’ Elsie said. ‘Unless you have any better ideas?’
Phyllis hadn’t.
Unable to resist writing to Luke about her worries, she wasn’t surprised when he wrote back to say he agreed with Elsie.
It isn’t for me to give advice, but my opinion (if you want it) is that interfering risks alienating Artie however things turn out. If he’s rejected by the Grovers, he’ll feel a fool once he knows you expected him to be rejected all along, while if he goes ahead and marries Celia, he’ll know you have a poor opinion of his wife. Neither possibility will make for a comfortable relationship with you going forward.
Deciding Luke was right, Lily reconciled herself to waiting to see what happened though she felt as though a clock was ticking in a countdown to doom.
Meanwhile life went on and Pierre announced that he wanted to take them out to celebrate his birthday. ‘You’ll have to get a new dress,’ Phyllis told Elsie.
‘No one’s going to notice a little scorch mark,’ Elsie argued, having ruined her only decent dress with an iron.
‘The scorch mark is huge,’ Phyllis insisted.
Elsie went shopping a few days later but wasn’t in the best of humours on her return. ‘I don’t know why I was persuaded to buy this dress.’ She threw the box onto her bed. ‘It’s going straight back.’
‘At least let us see it on you,’ Phyllis pleaded.
Elsie resisted until Lily joined in the urging. ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake!’ Elsie said then. ‘I’ll put it on just to shut you up, but it’s still going back.’
The dress was form-fitting and a deep forest green that complemented Elsie’s red hair beautifully. ‘You look incredible,’ Lily declared.
‘I look awful.’
‘It’s striking,’ Phyllis argued.
‘Precisely. There’s no way I’m going to stand out in the crowd looking even more of an idiot than usual.’
‘You could wear it again to my wedding.’
‘Weddings!’ Elsie rolled her eyes and stormed off to change.
She swapped the green dress for a mediocre brown one but seemed to be no happier with it. In fact, it gradually dawned on Lily that Elsie didn’t appear to be happy with anything.
‘Are you all right?’ Lily finally asked.
‘Why shouldn’t I be all right?’
Goodness. It wasn’t like Elsie to snap. ‘I don’t know. But if there’s something troubling you, I—’
‘Stop nagging me!’
Lily stared at her and saw Elsie’s irritation give way to awkwardness.
‘Sorry. That came out stronger than intended,’ Elsie said. ‘I suppose all the wedding talk is getting on my nerves. If it isn’t Phyllis talking about her wedding, it’s you worrying about Artie marrying Celia.’
Unfair! Phyllis only occasionally mentioned her wedding and Lily was trying hard not to keep mentioning Artie.
Elsie appeared to realise it because she sighed. ‘I’m just not much of a person for weddings. It’s not as though I’m ever going to have one.’
‘You can’t know that. Phyllis thought she’d never get married until she met Michael.’
‘I’m not Phyllis.’
‘But—’
‘Let’s make a bargain. I won’t be grumpy about weddings if you stop fussing over me.’
With that Elsie walked off. In the days that followed she appeared to be making an effort to be more tolerant though she didn’t seem to be quite herself and her riotousness at Pierre’s birthday dinner in a West End restaurant came over to Lily as forced, as though Elsie were putting on an act.
But it was unreasonable to expect Elsie to be cheerful all the time. Lily wasn’t particularly cheerful herself.
There seemed to be cause for worry every way she turned – Artie, Luke, Elsie, Mr Bax’s inevitable retirement and also Marion.
Lily visited her again in Hastings. Marion looked both pleased to see her and at peace with the world but once again Lily felt that her friend was simply waiting patiently to be reunited with Hilda. Lily made tea and served the cake she’d brought. ‘It’s delicious,’ Marion declared.
Worried about Marion, it didn’t occur to Lily that Marion might also be worrying about her until, some while later, the older woman reached for her hand. ‘It’s an anxious time but it won’t help anyone if you let your worries get on top of you. Get out there and achieve your dreams.’
Lily smiled. ‘I’ll certainly do my best.’
‘Good. Now, if you won’t think me rude, I’d welcome a little doze.’
‘Of course,’ Lily told her. ‘I’ll go for a walk.’
A stiff breeze was blowing when Lily made her way down to the seafront. How invigorating it was. Breathing in the clean salty air, Lily made some resolutions:
She’d follow Luke’s advice with regard to Artie so her brother would have no hesitation in leaning on her for support if he was rejected by the Grovers or if he married Celia and found himself unhappy. There’d be no, ‘I told you so,’ from Lily.
She’d continue to wait and see what happened with Luke while keeping a close guard on her feelings so he had no reason to feel embarrassed.
In the meantime she’d focus her energies on making a success of the tea room. Mr Bax had assured her that he was still in no hurry to retire while Phyllis had said she had no intention of turning into a stay-at-home sort of wife when she married Michael. Phyllis was sure to want to move on to a better job in time, but until then she was happy to build her experience by looking after their own accounts.
Lily turned back to her friend’s house feeling more purposeful. But Artie was waiting for her when she reached London and what she saw in his face made her heart beat fast with dread.
THIRTY-ONE
‘I’ve been a fool,’ Artie said, upstairs in Lily’s room.
Not wanting to blunder into a wrong conclusion, she waited for him to say more
‘I went to the Grovers’ house today and asked Mr Grover for a private word in his study.’ Artie’s mouth twisted. ‘It didn’t go at all well.’
‘I’m sorry.’ It grieved Lily to see her darling brother in pain.
‘Mostly, I’ve seen Celia when she’s brought papers to the office or collected papers from the office. We’ve only actually walked out together a few times. I had no idea that Celia’s parents thought she was with Violet or other friends on those occasions.’
‘Celia lied to them?’
Artie winced. ‘Little white lies, perhaps, but told with the best of intentions, I’m sure. I’ve been hoping to prove my worth to Mr Grover and I’m sure Celia was hoping for the same thing.’
‘He doesn’t think you’re worthy of her?’
‘He was angry. He accused me of being an upstart who’d taken advantage of my position – a position given to me out of charity – to ingratiate myself with Celia in the hope of ingratiating myself into her family’s wealth as well.’
‘You’d never do that, Artie.’
‘Of course I wouldn’t, but Celia’s father scoffed when I told him I was motivated only by love. He told me he wasn’t born yesterday and he knew ambition when he saw it. And if I thought I was getting my feet under his table I was very much mistaken. I am ambitious, Lil, but not in the way he thinks.’
‘I know that, Artie.’
‘I told him that Celia loved me in return but he jeered at that too. He suggested I’d used my looks and charms to win over an impressionable girl but she’d soon realise her mistake once she knew what sort of life she’d have with me because he – Grover – had no intention of stumping up even a farthing. I argued that he was underestimating Celia because she wasn’t that shallow but he said we’d soon see about that and called her in.’
‘You saw her?’
‘He repeated the insults he’d thrown at my head then asked her how she’d really feel about the life I could offer her. No fancy clothes, no fripperies, no Belsize Park elegance but only mean little rooms in some shabby part of London with no servants to help so Celia would have to cook and clean herself while making every penny count. No more moving in their social circle either, so no dinners or parties or charity balls. Just worries over how to pay the bills.’
‘What did Celia say?’
‘She cried. Don’t judge her harshly, though. Mr Grover can be an overbearing man. I told her I knew I couldn’t provide for her at present but had every intention of making something of myself if she could only be patient.’
‘And?’
‘At that point her father told me to get out of his house before he kicked me out. And if I didn’t keep to my place in future, he’d kick me out of my job as well.’
‘He doesn’t know how honourable you are.’
‘No, he doesn’t.’
Despite his hurt, Artie was full of fight. ‘You know the worst thing Grover said? He said I may have a public school accent but I was a nobody from the back streets of Bermondsey with a sister who was just a waitress in a cheap tea shop. There’s no just anything about you, Lil. You’re the finest person I know. Grover may have riches, but you have courage, cleverness and kindness. You’re worth ten of him.’
Lily was touched. She reached for Artie’s hand and squeezed it.
‘I was foolish in thinking he might have accepted me as a suitor for Celia but I’m not going to crawl away,’ Artie said. ‘I’m going to fight for the sort of life I think has value. I don’t mean financial value particularly, though I hope not to be desperately poor, but satisfaction, challenge and fulfilment.’
‘Good for you, Artie.’
‘I expect Grover thinks I’m thanking my lucky stars I haven’t been dismissed from my job but the fact is that I’m useful to him. I’m good at my job. I’m keen, organised and efficient, and I get on with the men. Melling, the foreman, has told me they respect me because I’m fair. I’ll bide my time for the moment but I won’t be at Grover’s for long.’
‘And Celia?’
‘I told her I still loved her when I came away. She couldn’t answer through her tears but I won’t lose faith in her. Not yet. She isn’t like us, Lil. She’s had luxury and position all her life. It’s only natural for her to be scared about a future without them. A future with the wrath of her father hanging over her too.’
Lily made no answer. She was sad to see Artie brought low but filled with pride over his determination to make a life on his own terms. It was as though he were transforming from boy to man before her eyes.
Lily had to make a life on her terms too but the next morning fate threw down potential disaster in the form of an injury to Mr Bax. ‘The stupidest thing,’ he said, arriving with a bandaged hand. ‘I dropped a glass last night and was clumsy picking up the pieces. It’s quite a deep cut so heaven knows how I’m going to manage.’
A baker needed two hands for mixing, beating, stirring, decorating…
There was nothing for it but for Lily and Phyllis to pitch in and help, following his instructions as best they could so they had at least some bread and cakes to sell. Pierre came round to help too as his shop already had sufficient supplies to last for the morning if not longer. They managed to make enough baked goods to get them through that first day but the choice was limited and there’d barely been time to prepare the bakery shop or tea room properly.
‘We need an extra pair of hands,’ Lily said. Her thoughts touched upon Artie for a moment but a temporary job helping in a bakery wasn’t what he needed. Artie was on fire to make his own way in the world
‘I’m not sure I can offer my hands tomorrow,’ Elsie said. ‘I’ll be needed in the chocolate shop while Pierre works in the kitchen to make up for missing most of today.’
Lily was struck by how miserable Elsie sounded and suspected there was more to it than sympathy for Mr Bax and his situation. ‘Is something upsetting you?’ Lily asked.
‘Why should something have upset me?’ Elsie was back to snapping.
Lily shrugged, waited for Elsie to leave the room then looked at Phyllis enquiringly.
‘I don’t know what’s wrong with her,’ Phyllis said. ‘I’ve tried to get to the bottom of it but Elsie just snaps or walks away.’
‘I’ll talk to her,’ Lily said.
‘Choose your moment wisely,’ Phyllis advised, then changed the subject. ‘I wonder if Frankie might come and help Mr Bax?’
‘Michael’s little brother?’
‘He’s working in his uncle’s glazing business at the moment but he doesn’t enjoy fitting windows. He’d like to be a chef so he’s thinking of applying for work as a kitchen boy though that wouldn’t necessarily give him a chance to attempt actual cooking.’
Michael had brought Frankie to visit one day and Lily remembered him as a fresh-faced lad who’d been fascinated by the bakery. ‘Helping Mr Bax wouldn’t be a permanent job,’ she pointed out.
‘I’m sure Frankie’s uncle will let him help out here for a while. He’ll probably be glad to get rid of him as Frankie isn’t much of a glazier. Even a few days’ work will give Frankie the chance to see what it’s like to work in a kitchen and help him to decide if it’s really what he wants. He won’t expect to be paid much, if anything.’
Maybe so, but Lily didn’t want the boy to be exploited. They’d have to pay him something even if it meant dipping into Lily’s small savings. ‘His uncle will take him back afterwards?’
‘I’m confident he will.’
‘In that case…’
‘I’ll run round and tell him the good news.’
Frankie arrived the following morning, lanky and untidy but with a giant grin.
‘I hope you’re stronger than you look,’ Mr Bax said.
‘I’m a strong as a donkey,’ Frankie assured him.
‘I think you mean you’re as strong as an ox.’
‘Do I? Sorry. I’m not good with words.’
‘Well, let’s get started. Scrub your hands and forearms – not forgetting your fingernails – while I look out an apron and hat. We can’t have that thatch of straw on top of your head flopping over the food.’
Frankie was a great success.
‘The lad has a real feel for the job,’ Mr Bax reported. ‘And he never seems to tire.’
Mr Bax shook his head wonderingly and Lily guessed he was comparing Frankie’s energy with his own depleting reserves. The thought reminded her that it was August already and the tea room would have been open for two years once they reached October.
It couldn’t be much longer before Mr Bax retired. He had his health to consider and his sisters’ wellbeing too. Beatrice and Betty came to the tea room often and always said how much they enjoyed it but neither of them was getting any younger. In the past months alone Beatrice had suffered an eye infection that took a long time to clear while Betty had strained her back.
Thinking about the tea room closing or continuing in someone else’s hands brought a heavy feeling to Lily’s stomach. It was so much more than a job to her, but she’d have to bear its loss bravely.
‘I’ve decided to keep Frankie on,’ Mr Bax said then.
Lily blinked. ‘Permanently?’
‘I’ve told him I can’t promise him work forever but he says the same thing you’ve always said – that you want the experience anyway. Don’t worry about his wages because I’ll be settling them.’ He paused then added, ‘I’ll give you fair warning when I finally decide to sell up.’
‘Please don’t keep going just for my sake.’
‘I’m not. This tea room – and you young people – have given me a new lease of life. My sisters too. Even the problems we face remind us that we’re still alive, and none of us want to waste our time staring at four walls at home.’
Lily was enormously relieved to be granted a reprieve for at least a few more month
s. She planned new menus and decorations with enthusiasm but continued to worry over Elsie. Unfortunately, Lily’s attempts to get her to talk met only with irritation.
Lily spoke to Phyllis again.
‘I wonder if she’s feeling lonely?’ Phyllis said. ‘I know she’s never seemed to care for the idea of a husband but perhaps she’s changing her mind now she’s seeing others beginning to settle down.’
‘I’m not settling down with anyone,’ Lily pointed out.
‘Not yet. But I expect you soon will be.’
Had Phyllis guessed how Lily felt about Luke too? Lily’s stomach gave a painful squeeze. Phyllis didn’t know what Luke had said to Lily when he was home on leave, of course.
‘I heard Elsie and Pierre bickering last week and it got rather sharp,’ Phyllis continued. ‘I don’t think they were joking either.’
Lily cornered Elsie a few days later. ‘Please talk to me. I know something’s wrong.’
‘Are you Lily the Mind Reader now? You should make a fortune on the stage instead of running yourself ragged serving people in a tea shop.’
‘If you don’t want to talk to me, perhaps you could talk to Phyllis.’
‘And say what? That Lily the Mind Reader thinks… What do you think, Lily?’
‘That you’re not particularly happy.’
‘This war’s been going on for four long years with no end in sight. I’m tired of it all. Tired of hearing about death and injury, and all the people who’ll spend the rests of their lives suffering in one way or another.’
‘Are you worried that with so many young men losing their lives, there’ll be none left for you to meet?’
‘You think I want to meet a man?’ Elsie looked incredulous.
‘It’s a possibility.’
‘Tall? Handsome? Gallant?’
Lily shrugged.
‘Let me tell you, hand on heart, that meeting a tall, handsome, gallant stranger is the last thing I need.’
