Her hands played in his loose hair before she raked them through his beard. “Forgiveness. What have you done, Cormac?”
“I have carried an anger, a resentment inside me these past few days. I’m so sorry.” His blue eyes glinted with remorse as he stared deeply into her gaze. “You are so beautiful, my bride. My Niamh.” He gazed at her, as though she were lit by the sun rather than the faint light of a candle.
“I’ve always felt beautiful to you,” she whispered.
After a long pause, he closed his eyes before murmuring, “I wish your baby were mine, Niamh.” A tear trickled down his cheek. “I wish—” When her fingers covered his mouth, his eyes flew open so he could meet her gaze.
“Shh.” She stared at him with unutterable tenderness, her beautiful eyes gleaming with unshed tears. “How can you not understand I wish it were too?”
He kissed her fingers and gazed deeply into her eyes. “I realized today, as I stood watching you with your family. With Maura. I realized I will love every child we share.” His eyes gleamed with love. “I will love this child as if it were mine, made from an insurmountable love. For that is how I love you, Niamh.”
Her eyes filled, and she nodded.
“No matter how many children we have, I will never love Maura and this babe less. I promise you.”
“Oh, Cormac,” she gasped, as she reached for him, burying her face in his neck. “This is my most precious Christmas gift.”
He waited, but she remained quiet in his arms. Finally he whispered, “Why can’t you tell me?” When she stiffened in his arms, he eased her away. “Why must I wait, wondering if you truly feel the same?” His eyes glowed with hurt and hope.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times. Finally she whispered, “A shíorghrá, you know how I feel.” Paling as he shook his head, she clung to his shoulders and kissed him with a quiet desperation.
“What does that mean?” he rasped, when he broke their kiss.
“My eternal love,” she breathed. When she saw the shock and delight in his expression, she smiled and repeated it in a louder, more confident voice. “For you are my eternal love, Cormac. You always have been.”
“But you married Connor first.”
She flushed in embarrassment. “Yes, I’ve thought a lot about when I first met you and Connor. I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t believe I deserved the love of a man like you, Cormac. I thought you deserved someone better. Smarter, prettier.” She paused as she saw the flash of anger in his gaze. “Someone who didn’t kill her mother and baby sister by giving them typhus.”
“Niamh,” he whispered, pulling her off the bed and into his lap on the floor. “You were never to blame, and I hate how you suffered because of that belief.”
She wrapped her arms and legs around him, clinging to him like a vine. “I thought I deserved no better than Connor. That the little attention I received from him was all I deserved and all the more precious because it was fleeting and rare.” She rested her head on Cormac’s shoulder. “I know now what a fool I was. I deserve a man who isn’t afraid to hold my hand as we walk through town. Who will kiss me, even though Da or my brothers might see. A man who believes I’m beautiful and smart.” She inched back and stared deeply into her husband’s gaze. “I deserve you, Cormac.”
“Yes, you do, my beloved. Thank God you realize that,” he whispered, as he peppered soft kisses all over her face and down her neck as she arched back. “For I deserve you. A wife unabashedly passionate. Loving and kind and considerate. Affectionate,” he whispered into her ear, as she shivered with delight. “Loyal, giving, and a wonderful mother.” He paused in kissing his way down to her shoulder to stare into her eyes with a look of absolute wonder. “How can such a beautiful woman be my wife?”
She beamed at him. “I feel the same about you, husband.”
He laughed, helping her up and onto the bed. “Good, we can marvel at our good fortune together.” He eased her nightgown up. “Let me love you, Niamh, on our first Christmas together. Let me show you how I love you.”
“Yes,” she whispered, “as I’ll show you.”
They lay cuddled under the covers, as the fire crackled in the stove. Niamh rested her head on his shoulder and traced patterns on her husband’s chest. “What are you thinking about, love?”
He shivered and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll never tire of hearing you call me your love.” His eyes gleamed with joy as he beheld her, well-loved and happy in his embrace. “I was dreaming about our future.” He paused and then said, “When the spring comes, your da and brothers have agreed to help me. We are going to use the wood from your old home to expand our home here.” He looked around the small room he cherished. “This will become a bedroom or our kitchen.”
“Oh, Cormac,” she breathed, “but that will be so much work.”
“You’re worth it, beloved. As is our family.” He sighed as she curled up even closer against him. “I envision nights like this, with our children asleep in bed, as we share our hopes and fears with each other.” He paused. “Or where we rest in silence, knowing there is nothing we need to say.”
She propped her head on her hands, smiling at him. “I’ve always cherished the silence as much as the conversation with you. In a family as large as mine, silence is precious.”
After kissing her nose, he murmured, “I saw you speaking with Deirdre tonight. You seemed surprised by what she said.”
Niamh sighed. “She worried you were like Connor.” When Cormac stiffened underneath her, she ran a soothing hand over his chest. “Last summer, in August, I didn’t go to work for a few days at the café. I told her that Maura had been ill.” She flushed. “Somehow she figured out what I had suffered, but I stammered out both your names.” Her hazel eyes were filled with guilt. “Deirdre had no way of knowing if one or both of you were responsible for causing me harm.”
“Oh, Niamh,” Cormac whispered, as he pulled her close.
“I swear I never meant to give rise to any doubt as to your honor.”
“No, love, it doesn’t matter. She understands now.”
Niamh sighed, resting in her husband’s arms. After a long moment, she whispered, “Promise me.”
“Anything,” he breathed.
“Promise me this is no dream.”
He cupped her face, staring deeply into her luminescent hazel eyes. “This is better than any dream. For every day I know I will awaken with heaven in my arms. And I could never want for more than that.”
“Oh, Cormac,” she whispered as she kissed him. “Promise me this will never change. That we will never change.”
He smiled. “We will change, my beloved. But my love for you will be forever constant.”
Sneak Peek at Pioneer Longing!
We join in on a scene where Phoebe and Eamon chat for the first time in the novel…
Missouri River, May 1866
When Phoebe Mortimer heard the voices of the O’Rourke brothers approaching, she admitted to herself that they were the reason why she tried to always appear put together. Since she had first seen them on the steamboat, she had felt an affinity with them. Upon meeting the brothers, her attraction to the older brother, Eamon had grown. However, Eamon seemed interested in friendship, and she feared he only saw her as another sibling, not as a woman he would choose to court and wed.
She shook her head in consternation as she knew she should not be concerning herself with thoughts of marriage. She should be worried about her missing uncle. Admonishing herself for her selfish thoughts, she turned with an impersonal smile to greet the brothers as they stepped into the shaded area. “Hello,” she breathed.
“Miss Mortimer,” Finn said with a smile.
Winnifred snorted from the ground. “You could be speaking to the three of us, not Phoebe.”
“Aye, I could, but seein’ as you’re sitting on the ground on an anthill, an’ you’re other sister is engaged in a book, I thought I’d address my greeting to the woman who seemed sensible an
d friendly.” Finn’s blue eyes flashed with distaste as he stared at Winnifred. When she jumped up and patted at her skirts, belatedly realizing they were covered in red ants, he chuckled.
Eamon bit back a laugh as he slapped a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “Hello, Miss Phoebe,” he said in his low baritone, his cobalt blue eyes focusing on her for a moment. “’Tis lovely to see you, and your sisters. We hope you don’t mind us invading your sanctuary, but we found ourselves in need of company.”
At Winnifred’s snort of disbelief, Phoebe approached them and motioned the brothers to join her sisters. She glared at her youngest sister until she bit her lip and was quiet. “We are uncertain how long we are to wait.”
Eamon looked at the boat and shrugged. “I fear it could be a day or two until they discern what’s to be done.”
“Must we sleep off the boat?”
Eamon shrugged. “I doubt they’d ask that of you, Miss Phoebe. Although I imagine we’ll have to be careful as we are more vulnerable to an Indian attack while tied up on the side of the river at night.”
“Attack?” Phoebe gasped, paling.
“Eamon,” Finn muttered, hitting him in his arm.
At Winnifred’s proclamation that she could shoot better than any man present, Finn wandered off to bicker with her, leaving Phoebe and Eamon alone. “You are well, Miss?” he asked. At her subtle nod, he whispered, “Do you need anything?”
She shrugged. “I need to be on my way to Fort Benton. I need to determine what happened to my uncle. We all do.”
Eamon stared at her in confusion. “That’s why you’re travelin’ up river?” At her shrug, he smiled. “I assumed you were mail order brides and already promised to men upstream.”
She flushed and gasped and shook her head frantically. “Oh, no. No, no, no.” Biting her lip to cease repeating the same word like a senseless ninny, she blushed as bright as the previous night’s sunset. “I don’t know how you could have come to that erroneous conclusion.”
Eamon’s lips quirked up into a smile, and he ran a hand through his inky black hair, now worn longer than usual as he mimicked his older brother, Declan. “My second eldest brother, Kevin, met a woman on a steamboat last year. She was promised to my brother Declan, although neither knew it.”
Phoebe gasped, her green eyes lit with interest. “What happened? Did he break your brother’s heart?” Her gaze veered to her sisters and then back to Eamon, and she reddened at his astute gaze.
“No, Declan didn’t know Aileen as Kev did. Declan didn’t care for her as Kev did. In the end, Kevin married her, after rescuing her from the Bordello.” When she gasped again, he winked at her. “So, you can see why I’d be cautious about meeting a woman on the steamboat.”
Preening a little, Phoebe, tilted her head back, hoping it showed off the fine length of her neck or the delicate curve of her earlobe.
“Besides, you remind me of my youngest sister, Maggie. ‘Tis always nice to have good company on a long journey.”
Fighting the urge to collapse at his feet in dismay in a pool of petticoats and lace edged skirts, she looked away from him on the pretense of studying the men working on the steamboat. After blinking rapidly to clear her eyes of unwanted, and, she feared, unwarranted tears, she motioned in the direction of the men laboring to move the steamboat over the sandbar. “It seems they need strong men to aid the captain’s plan. Why don’t you and your brother help?” she asked, clearing her throat to rid it of any huskiness from an excess of emotion.
Eamon shrugged, his eyes lit with an inner warmth as he looked at her. “We offered, but after we helped unload the supplies, he informed us we’d done enough. Doesn’t want to hurt his reputation by becoming known that he has the men rentin’ private cabins doing such menial labor.” He shrugged and winked at her. “And then we realized he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doin’, so we’re hidin’ away so he doesn’t get it into his head to put us to work again.”
Phoebe flushed at his wink and her gaze flit over him, taking in his broad shoulders and the muscles that rippled under his shirt with each movement. “I’d think you were used to menial labor.” She blushed a brighter hue of red at her comment. Stammering, she blurted out, “I beg your pardon. I meant no offense.”
“None, taken Miss. Aye, we’re used to workin’ hard. Our Da would have it no other way.” His gaze was distant for a moment before he smiled at her in a reassuring manner. “We might be successful now, but Finn and I work hard. As do all the O’Rourkes. None are lazy.”
Phoebe stiffened as though he had criticized her family. “Mortimers are hard workers, too, Mr. O’Rourke.”
“Aye, of that I have no doubt,” he murmured with a soft chuckle. “I can imagine how much hard labor goes into reading a novel, over and over again.”
Flushing, Phoebe fisted her hands at her side as she took a step toward him, her shoulders back as though challenging him. “Leave Lorena out of this,” she whispered. “She’s done nothing to earn such criticism from you.”
His cheeks turned red and he ducked his head. “I beg your pardon,” he whispered. “I fear we are acting like Finn and your sister.” He glanced in their direction, snorting with disbelief to see Winnifred standing on tiptoe as she poked Finn in his shoulder as she expounded on her point. Eamon focused on Phoebe, his stance relaxing and his blue eyes filled with regret. “I have no desire to quarrel with you, Miss Phoebe,” he murmured. “I…Too often in our past we’ve been deemed less worthy because we are immigrants and willing to do whatever work we must to survive.”
Phoebe took a deep breath and stared deeply into his gaze. “I don’t understand what that life is like,” she said in a soft voice. “But I do understand fighting against prejudice.” She paused, and appeared as though debating whether to say more. “I forgive you, Mr. O’Rourke.”
“Eamon,” he whispered. “There are too many Mr. O’Rourkes, but I’m the only Eamon. Thank you, Bee.” He smiled as she gasped at the use of a nickname. “Is it wrong for me to think of you as Bee?”
She swallowed. Finally, she breathed, “I’ve only ever been Phoebe.”
“You’re much more than only Phoebe.” He stilled as the steamboat whistle sounded. “Come, let me help you back to the boat. I fear they’ve given up for the day, and we’ll have to see what tomorrow brings.”
Phoebe fought a girlish blush as she slipped her hand through his offered arm, reminding herself he was being a gentleman. And he only saw her as a friend. Anything to lessen her growing attraction to this unattainable man.
Order Pioneer Longing Now! Available to read August 4, 2020!
Never Miss A Ramona Flightner Update!
Thank you for reading Pioneer Yearning! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
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Also By Ramona Flightner
The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga
Follow the O’Rourke Family as they settle in Fort Benton, Montana Territory in 1865. Coming in 2020!
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Sign up here to receive the prequel, Pioneer Adventure to the new Saga as a thank you for subscribing to my newsletter!
Pioneer Dream (OFMS, Book 1)- Kevin and Aileen
Pioneer Desire- (OFMS, Book 2)- Ardan and Deirdre
Pioneer Yea
rning- (OFMS, Book 3) Coming in May 2020- Niamh and Cormac
Pioneer Longing (OFMS, Book 4)- August 2020! Eamon’s story!
Pioner Bliss (OFMS, Book 5) Coming Soon! Declan’s story!
Bear Grass Springs Series
Never fear, I am busy at work on the next book in the series! If you want to make sure you never miss a release, a special, a cover reveal, or a short story just for my fans, sign up for my newsletter!
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Immerse yourself in 1880’s Montana as the MacKinnon siblings and their extended family find love!
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Montana Untamed (BGS, Book 1)- Cailean and Annabelle
Montana Grit (BGS, Book 2)- Alistair and Leticia
Montana Maverick (BGS, Book 3) Ewan and Jessamine
Montana Renegade(BGS, Book 4) Warren and Helen
Jubilant Montana Christmas (BGS, Book 5) Leena and Karl
Montana Wrangler (BGS, Book 6) Sorcha and Frederick
Unbridled Montana Passion (BGS, Book 7) Fidelia and Bears
Montana Vagabond (BGS, Book 8) Ben and Jane
Exultant Montana Christmas (BGS, Book 9) Ewan and Jessamine
Lassoing a Montana Heart (BGS, Book 10) Slims and Davina—Coming July 2020!
Healing Montana Love (BGS, Book 11) Coming in 2020!
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The Banished Saga
Follow the McLeod, Sullivan and Russell families as they find love, their loyalties are tested, and they overcome the challenges of their time. A sweeping saga set between Boston and Montana in early 1900’s America. Finally, the Saga is complete!
Pioneer Yearning: The O’Rourke Family Montana Saga, Book Three Page 19
