“I’m scared, all right.”
“Of Alec?”
“Yes,” I hissed. “He makes me want things I can’t have.”
“Mom!” Caleb bellowed, thankfully cutting off any further discussion.
“Yeah?” I moved into the dining area so I could see Caleb inside yelling across the house.
“Alec said he was ordering food. Sushi, Mexican, burgers, or pizza?”
Damn Alec Hall.
“I thought I’d cook—”
“No way. Alec said you need to rest. Rory, too.”
Alec said? What the hell?
“I can cook—”
“Pizza it is,” Alec cut in and I crossed my arms over my chest.
He ignored this and went back to talking to Caleb, who was happily rattling off his order. I mentally went over my bank balance and bills that were due in the next two weeks and figured I could splurge on pizza as long as nothing came up unexpected with the kids.
“Caleb, my purse is in my bedroom, would you mind getting it for me, please?”
“Don’t bother, kid, your mom’s not paying.”
My already throbbing head started to pound and at the last second, I remembered we had an audience and swallowed back my response. Opting for something kid-friendly rather than asking Alec who the fuck he thought he was, telling my son I wasn’t paying.
“Can I talk to you?” I asked Alec.
“One sec, babe, let me call in the order.”
“Um. No. Now, please.”
The damn jerk smiled and winked at Rory who was watching the two of us and followed me into the kitchen.
“Don’t mind me, I’m leaving.” Becky chuckled and slid past us.
“Do you not want pizza?”
What? Was he insane?
“I’m grateful for all your help today. Especially with Rory and Caleb. But—”
“You’re welcome. Now, is pizza okay?”
“Don’t cut me off,” I fumed.
“Macy, I appreciate your gratitude. It’s been a hard day for you, for the kids. Rory’s sick and scared. Caleb’s holding it together but being watchful. So far you’ve been dealing, but I’m waiting for the first crack in that wall you’ve built around today’s events. So, babe, I’m sorry this is gonna piss you off but I don’t want to hear your but. I don’t want to hear your excuses for not wanting me here. Or any new reasons you’ve come up with to push me away. Because right now this is not about you and me. It’s about you, Rory, and Caleb. And frankly, I cannot keep my anger in check about what the fucker did to you and Rory, while making sure the three of you have what you need at the same time. Not right now, not when every time I look at your beautiful face I see what that motherfucker did to you. Please, baby, give me tonight to just take care of the three of you with no lip.”
“Okay,” I croaked out, because really, what else was there to say?
“I’m gonna kiss you, Macy.”
Alec moved closer, his palms going to my neck, holding me close but loose enough I could move away if I wanted. Then his head lowered and his lips brushed against mine feather-light. My whole body came alive from the soft graze. It wasn’t even a kiss—not a real one—but it set me on fire. Good night, this man was lethal.
“I can still taste you on my tongue. I dream of you, the way your tits press against my chest. The way you soften under my hands. Fuck, Macy, five days later and I’m still hard for you.”
Christ on a cracker was right!
My legs were jelly, my heart was racing, my girly parts were definitely awake and raring to go, and I was in desperate need of clean panties.
I whimpered and Alec smiled.
“Soon, Macy.”
With a kiss to the top of my head, he left me standing in my kitchen.
Becky must not have gone very far because not even ten seconds after Alec disappeared, she appeared fanning her face, her mouth hanging open.
“Good God,” she breathed. “You are so fucked. I hope for your sake he’s half as good as he looks like he’d be.”
She wasn’t wrong. I was fucked, in more ways than one.
I decided to use my time wisely. With Becky and Rob there, I knew my kids would be comfortable with me slipping away and taking a shower, though Rory seemed to be just fine with Alec being in the house, and Caleb was warming up to him.
I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that even though he’d made it clear he was barging into my life whether I liked it or not. Something I didn’t have the energy to think about. Especially not when he was in the house muddling with my head. Alec had a way about him that made me want to give in when I knew I should’ve been running.
But right then, staring at myself in the mirror, all thoughts of Alec fled.
It wasn’t until that moment when I finally let it sink in. The pain of Josh hitting me, the crushing fear of him hurting Rory. It was like I had an out-of-body experience where shock and surprise hadn’t allowed the attack to register. I could feel the blows, I knew they hurt, but all of my concern was on keeping Josh away from my daughter.
And looking at myself now, I knew I’d been lucky. Josh Malone was a big guy, if he’d meant to hurt me worse, he would’ve.
No, this was a message.
The bruises on my face were mild compared to the pain Josh would inflict if Doug didn’t pay him back. Handprints on my arms where he’d shook me with bone-jarring force. My chest had another red mark where he’d caught me by my shirt as I tried to get away.
Why?
Why was I paying for Doug’s shit—again?
Why couldn’t I get out from under the cloud of devastation that Doug left in his wake?
Why did my kids have to continue to suffer?
I fucking hated him. But really, I hated myself more. I’d stayed. I’d allowed it to happen. I should’ve left him before we were even married. I knew he was an asshole. I knew he’d never change. I knew he was lying every time he told me he loved me and promised he wouldn’t hurt me again.
So stupid.
“Honey?” Becky called from the bathroom door.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
I couldn’t look away from my watery image in the mirror even though I could barely see my own features through the tears.
“What did I ever do but love him?”
“Nothing, Macy, you didn’t do anything to deserve this.”
Then I was wrapped in my robe with my best friend’s arms locked around my body and I lost it. She took my weight as I collapsed and we went to the cold tile floor.
“Macy, girl, you’re scaring me.”
I’m sure I was but I couldn’t stop the hate from leaking out, tears poured down my cheeks and mixed with the water still dripping from my wet hair, soaking the front of her shirt. But I couldn’t pull myself together. Not this time. Not with the threats Josh made. I couldn’t do it alone.
“I got her.”
Strong arms lifted me off the floor. The fresh manly smell of Alec surrounded me but I had no fight left. What did it matter if he saw? I was nothing but a punching bag. A loser with a shitty life and shitty ex-husband who constantly put my family in danger.
18
Alec knew it was coming.
Macy had been in denial and it was only a matter of time before everything hit her. He figured it would happen when she tried to go to sleep but he should’ve known the reality of what had happened was going to strike when she finally had a moment alone.
After Jameson and Kennedy showed with the pizza and Jocelyn, he’d sent Becky in to check on her, not wanting to barge in on Macy if she was still in the shower. Then they’d heard the sound of something crash and he no longer cared about the state of her undress—he just needed to get to her.
Alec settled himself on Macy’s bed with her soft, pliant body cradled in his arms. It was with herculean effort he tamped down his own fury, reminding himself this was about Macy and her pain, not his anger or need for retribution. The sobbing woman in his arms
was far more important than the vengeance he’d soon deliver.
With a look of concern, Becky left, closing the door behind her, and Alec was grateful the other woman trusted him enough to take care of Macy.
“Sweetheart, tell me what you’re thinking about,” he encouraged.
Macy shook her head and shoved her face deeper in Alec’s neck, burrowing closer. As fucking great as that felt, he couldn’t forget the circumstances that landed her in his arms.
“Macy, baby, you need to get it all out. Tell me.”
“No,” she croaked.
“You can’t bury this. It will eat away at you. It will rot your insides. Chafe and worsen until your anger and pain erupt. Let it out now. You’re safe here.”
“Aren’t you tired of my problems yet?”
“Macy, these aren’t your problems. You’re not creating them. What happened today is not your fault. The fucking prick brought this to you.”
“I hate him.”
Alec figured that was the first step in Macy purging all the shit she was bottling up. She needed to acknowledge that Doug was at fault, and it was okay to blame him.
“I know you do and I think that’s perfectly normal.”
“No, Alec, I hate him. I detest the man he is. He was a shitty husband, he’s a shitty father, he’s a shit human. I hate he’s the father of my children. There are days I wish him dead or that I’d never met him. What kind of person does that make me? One way I’m wishing my children away, the other option is that their father is dead.”
Macy's confession hit him square in the chest. She had no way of knowing he had similar feelings about Jaime, only his reality was the mother of his child was dead, and he couldn’t be sorry for it.
“What does it say about me that I married him? That I stayed after he cheated. Broken promise after broken promise. I knew he’d never change but I was too weak to leave. The entire marriage was a farce.”
“You’re being too hard on yourself. No one judges you for hating him, for wishing he was a good father. You’re not wishing them away, you’re a great mother. Everyone knows it but most importantly, they know it. Rory and Caleb know you love them.” Alec brushed some hair off her cheek and pressed a kissed on her forehead.
Macy’s head tipped back and glassy eyes stared up at him. Damn, he wanted to kiss her. Lay in bed and make out like a couple of teenagers forgetting her living room was full of people and their kids were waiting for them.
“I have to get up,” she said.
“Take your time. There’s no rush.”
“Caleb and Rory—”
“Are fine. You need to take a minute for you. Besides, Becky, Rob, Jameson, and Kennedy are out there with them. They’re being taken care of.”
Macy jolted and tried to scramble off Alec’s lap, causing him severe pain as her ass ground down on his cock.
“Babe!”
“I have to get up. My kids don’t know Jameson and Kennedy. Caleb…well… he’s… I don’t have time to explain what he is. Let me up.”
“They’re fine. Becky and Rob both know Jameson and Kennedy. When I came back, Rory was happily playing with Joss and Caleb was getting plates for pizza.”
“Jocelyn’s here?”
“That a problem?” His question came out harsher than he’d intended, but the way Macy’s eyes had rounded and her mouth had twisted pissed him off.
“Of course not.”
“Then why do you look so unhappy my daughter’s here?”
“Let me up.”
Macy shoved her hand against his chest trying to get free, but Alec held strong.
“No.”
“No?”
Macy’s eye sparked and Alec was happy to see some of the anguish morph into irritation. Annoyance he could work with, agony and tears gutted him. Macy sobbing in his arms made him feel helpless—it tore at him from the inside out. There was nothing he could do to ease her pain.
“Not until you tell me why you looked affronted that Jocelyn’s here.”
“Because, Alec, it reminded me that you have more important things to do than be here with me. It’s dinner time, you should be home with Jocelyn settling in for the night. Not here with me while I have another damn nervous breakdown and more drama. Go home and stop worrying about me.”
“That’s not gonna happen. And Jocelyn is just fine.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I told you why.”
“Alec, for the last time—”
This time when Alec kissed her, he didn’t go easy like he’d done in her kitchen. It was reminiscent of their first kiss. Hot, wet, and powerful. He took his time tangling his tongue with hers, making sure she didn’t miss it—the chemistry they had, the need that arced between them. Two seconds into the kiss, Macy had relaxed and given in. Her hand went into Alec’s hair, tugging him closer, heating his skin—making the hunger that blanketed his body damn near impossible to keep in check.
Fucking hell, he wanted this woman—it was more than sex. He wanted her loyalty, her steadfast devotion, he wanted his daughter to be surrounded by her goodness, he wanted all of it for himself. And yes, he wanted the sex, too. How could he not when all they’d done was kiss and he was ready to get on his knees and beg for her to use her mouth on other parts of his body.
There was so much about Macy he wanted to know. But what he’d learned in the short time he’d known her, he liked.
Macy’s hand left his hair and traveled down to his chest, then lower. And when she started to yank the fabric up, he knew it was time to stop.
Alec broke the kiss. Macy’s eyes slowly came open, lust-drunk and hazy. So fucking sexy he had to latch on to all of his control and remind himself their kids were in the other room. And her disappointed little whimper did nothing to help deflate his hard cock that very happily nestled under her ass, though both of them would’ve been happier had there not been clothing between them. No doubt she was wet and ready for him—it wouldn’t take much maneuvering for her to straddle his lap and take his cock. Yeah, that would’ve made them both much happier.
But they were fully clothed and had a house full of people, taking the option of burying himself in her and making her forget all about her shit day, off the table.
“Wow, you can kiss,” Macy whispered, her gaze locked to his, making him feel unusually vulnerable.
Alec didn’t do intimacy well, he didn’t know how, but Macy staring at him with soft, lazy eyes, body fully relaxed into his, felt more intimate than anything he’d ever experienced. What was shocking was, he didn’t want to run from it. He wanted to open himself to this beautiful woman, but what’s more, he wanted her to want it.
“It’s you,” he told her. “All you, my beautiful Macy.”
The pretty pink blush made Alec’s heart squeeze and anger well up all at once. How could she not be used to hearing how pretty she was? How sexy she was when she took what she wanted. The battle over who was going to control the kiss almost made him shoot off in his pants. The woman was crazy good with her tongue, which only made Alec think about how she’d dominate his cock when he finally got her mouth around him.
The silence stretched for a moment and he hated to break it because he knew as soon as he did, Macy would retreat.
“I’m not going anywhere, Macy.” He was correct, the moment the words left his mouth, the walls slammed down and her eyes lost their pretty glow. “I’m gonna break down every barrier you have until you see me, until you know I’m a man you don’t have to protect yourself from. I know it’s gonna take time, I’m gonna have to bust my ass, and it’s gonna be hard work.” Alec paused so he could kiss the wrinkled skin between her brows. “But I know you’re worth it.”
“I’m not,” she denied.
“Fucking kills me that you believe that. And that’s part of what’s gonna take time. I don’t make promises I can’t keep, so when I promise you that one day you’re gonna know you’re worth it—you’re gonna know it down to your toes that not
only are you worth the effort, but that the man who gets your time, your love, your loyalty, is the luckiest man alive. Add Aurora and Caleb to that and the bounty will be overflowing.”
With one last kiss to her forehead, Alec helped her off his lap.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed. Take your time.”
Macy didn’t move from her perch on the bed as Alec made his way across the room. He hoped she’d take some time for herself being as the kids were taken care of, but he knew Macy and she’d rush to get to Caleb and Rory, if nothing else than to check the pulse of her family.
Stubborn woman.
19
When I came out of my bedroom all eyes came to me. I ignored this. Partly because it made me uncomfortable that everyone was looking at me like they were preparing to rush to my side and catch me just in case I had a come-apart. But mostly because I was looking at my kids.
Rory of course, was sitting on the floor with Jocelyn. At some point my daughter had gone into her room and dragged out every stuffed animal she owned because my living room floor looked like a toy store had vomited a zoo of plush bears, horses, and monkeys. There were even some baby dolls thrown in.
Caleb sat at the table with the adults, eating. My son, who was no longer a little boy, locked eyes with me and my heart lurched. He was wise beyond his years, but also he was caring and kind under all the pain.
I walked across the room, calling out to Rory as I made my way to the kitchen, “How’s your tummy, Rory?”
“Better. Alec gave me more ginger ale and crackers.”
I couldn’t even think about Alec taking care of my sick daughter and how much it meant to me that he was being so nice to her.
“Good. Make sure Joss doesn’t put anything in her mouth, please.”
“Mamamama! Yes,” Joss screeched.
“Yes? Yes, what, baby girl?” I returned.
The baby bounced on her booty a few times before she pushed herself to her hands and knees. Crawling was still the fastest mode of transportation, therefore Jocelyn’s preferred method. Once she made her way to me, her little arms went up and she was once again bouncing.
Alec's Dream (Gemini Group Book 4) Page 13
