Tonight I would see. Tonight I would know truth. One way or another, it was time to confront the elephant in the room.
With a sigh, I pulled my hand away. I tiptoed out of the baby’s room and down the hall, glancing at my closed bedroom door, pausing for just a moment to listen for Gerard’s deep breaths. He was well and truly asleep.
If he knew what I was about to do, he’d be furious. But this wasn’t about him or me. This was about her, our daughter. This was about making sure that no matter what, she got to choose the fate destined for her and not the one we desired.
This was about being the bigger person, even if it hurt like hell.
I walked out the back door into the yard and stared up at the full moon. My roses were in full bloom, and the world smelled of flowers, easing the terrible ache in my soul and the doubts that hammered away at me day and night.
“Rumpelstiltskin, come to me.” I knew he was not accustomed to being summoned so, but I also knew he would come.
And he did, not even a second later, stepping out of his tunnel of light, looking far older than I remembered. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin sallow.
“You look like death,” I said unkindly, fighting hard not to let the hate burn in my heart.
I wasn’t sure I could ever forgive him for trying to kill Gerard, but I was trying.
He grabbed at his chest and rubbed gently. “I am not well, it is true.”
My nostrils flared, and I glanced over my shoulder. When I turned back around, I saw him looking at the window of her room, at the soft wash of rose glow filtering from beneath her window shade. A look of terrible longing and pain shaded his eyes.
It was that look that finally allowed me to accept the facts. I would lose Shay to this man someday. Pain knifed through my chest.
“I made a deal with you, Rumpelstiltskin, months ago. And I will honor it, but not in the way you might imagine.”
His gaze cut to mine, and his eyes were flashing the red of blood. “What?”
I held up my hand. “You can see her tonight for five minutes only. And then you must leave. You cannot return until she turns twenty-one. You can have no contact with her at all. She cannot even know you exist.”
His chest heaved as he clutched at it, and a look of such utter despair caused me to stumble over my words. He looked like a man who’d just witnessed the death of the only thing that had ever mattered to him.
A prickling of guilt stabbed at my consciousness, but I was Shayera’s mother, and he would have to listen to me. I knew what was best. In this, at least, I understood what he could not.
“She is my world, my only reason for being—”
“She is a child!” I screamed, clenching my hands and shaking my head.
He gasped and scooted back on his heels until his back pressed up against the wall. “I... I know, Betty. It’s why I haven’t come yet. I love her so damn much it kills me, and it hurts that she is only a child. It’s wrong, but I can’t help it.”
I closed my eyes, wishing like hell I didn’t have to hear his pain, but I did, and it resonated deep in my soul. This was a man deeply in love. I hated that I truly hurt for him right now. I could imagine what was he was going through in this moment was the very worst kind of hell.
To have his love back, but still not. Not even close.
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me. She could meet someone new. She might not love me as she once did. She was nineteen before, Betty. Please, at least give me that.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No. I have to do what’s best for her.”
“What about what’s best for me?” He pounded his chest. “We had children together. Your grandchildren! Does that not mean anything to you?”
He was sobbing, openly grieving, and I hated that I felt like the monster. And though it hurt me to imagine these grandchildren I might never have, I couldn’t relent. I wouldn’t lie—a part of me hoped that Shayera would find another, not a man who could so easily walk in darkness and shadows, as he could. Maybe it was selfish and wrong of me, but I was a mother first.
“Twenty-one. That is the deal. Agree or leave.”
His nostrils flared, and when he turned to me, his eyes that burned a bright shade of blood red were shattered and broken as he whispered, “Aye. I have no choice but to accept.”
I couldn’t believe how easily he’d acquiesced, and a side of me wondered if I had done wrong. I could see the love for her in his eyes. There’d be no one who could possibly love her more than this man.
But then I remembered his stories, the tales of what he’d done, not just in his world but in this one, too. Rumpel lived his life in shades of gray. He wasn’t a hero by any measure. Could I really stand idly by and be okay with that? Could I really hand my daughter over to a man who could so easily become a monster?
No.
Why did that answer hurt me so much, though? Why did my throat burn with tears and heartache? I knew what Gerard would think if he saw the sorcerer here now. He’d be furious, mindless with rage.
I was doing the right thing. Right?
I clenched my fists. “Then go inside. You have five minutes. Make them count.”
~*~
Rumpel
I stared at her in numb shock, transfixed by her angelic beauty. I’d never known Shayera in the other life as I did now. She was perfectly formed, perfectly made, with a little button nose, smooth cheeks, and a little smile as she dreamed. She was not yet the woman I loved, but she was the promise of her.
Everything I’d done, all of it, had gotten me to this point. Ea Seko’s threats and Danika’s words echoed in my ear. The truth of them had finally come to fruition.
Gerard and Betty didn’t trust me. Not now. Maybe not ever. But Betty was trying. I could see it.
And yet I hated her. How dare she think to keep my bride from me? Did I not do everything to bring Gerard to her? Did I not maim and kill and torture to right these wrongs? No, I wasn’t a hero, but I was a man driven to save that which mattered most in this life. How dare she think to keep Shayera away from me? Who did she think she was?
The demon, that old friend, came rising up in me, whispering to me, and telling me there was nothing they could do to stop me. I was too strong for them. I could take her right now, and there wasn’t a bloody thing they could do about it.
I could raise Shayera with the help of a handmaiden, keeping my distance but always keeping an eye on her to make sure she was well. And also to make sure no lies were spoken about me, to make sure my wife grew up knowing that I was a good man for her and for our children. To make sure no poisons were fed to her that would cause her heart to twist away from me.
I reached into the crib and gently, oh so gently, brought her up to my chest. For the first time since the nightmare began, I felt peace shudder all the way through me.
And the tears that never seemed to stop choked me.
“My beloved,” I whispered to the fragile little being in my arms, so full of life, hope, and possibility. Shayera cooed gently, snuggling her sweet little face into my chest and sighing deeply. My eyes closed, and a deep shudder rolled through me. My home. In my arms. Such a fragile little thing that meant everything to me. Hope. Redemption. Love.
“I will love you until the day there is no breath left in my bones. Until the day the worlds stop spinning. Do not forget me, my love. Grow up. Hang on. And know the truth.”
I was desperate. Desperate she understood someday, why I’d done what I’d done. Desperate her heart remained pure. Desperate she would someday love me as I had never stopped loving her. Pulling on the strings of my magic I centered a powerful bolt of it on the very tip of my pointer finger.
It glowed as a radiant bolt of sunlight and I debated for only half a second before tracing my finger over the length of her tiny forehead, watching as the tether that would bind us tight sank deep into her flesh. True love was a powerful magic, but I’d done terrible things to get Shayera back. Things I knew full well she
would never love me for.
Things like what I did tonight. She would feel betrayed. And hurt. But at least she would be forced to listen to me. At least we would be together again. She might hate me for this, for taking her choice away, but I was selfish enough not to care. Because I knew that if my old Shayera were with me she’d tell me to do this, to do whatever it took to bring her back to me.
A tear spilled slowly out the corner of my left eye and I swallowed hard.
As much as I loved her, as much as I needed her, I knew she needed her parents more right now. I was not what Shayera needed. Not yet. But I would be.
And no matter what Betty said, I would always watch her. I would always keep her safe.
Bringing her tiny ear to my mouth I whispered, “My love, my heart, my strength, my shield, my body—it is all yours, only ever yours. Should you ever need me, just call, and I will come. And someday, when you are a woman, I promise I will never again leave your side. That is my vow to you.” Then I kissed her smooth, plump cheek.
She opened her eyes for just a moment, and the world stopped spinning. Clear blue, the color of frosty ice, gazed back at me, and a bright and brilliant smile cut across her cherubic features. Though I knew she could not speak, I heard words whispered on the breeze. Be brave. Be patient. Be strong for me. I come soon, Rumpel. I’ll love you for always...
“Give her to me.”
I glanced up, realizing I was on my knees in the center of Shayera’s room, huddled over her tiny body as though I were a shield.
My animal nature growled deep inside of me. We could not give up what was ours.
“Rumplestiltskin, give her to me.”
I closed my eyes, warring with my demons, knowing what would happen when I let her go. It would be over. I would be forced to live in shadows and darkness again, forced to be without her smiles and gentle words for years.
Betty’s hand landed gently on my shoulder, and I wanted to snap at her. Wanted to turn around and tear it off me. Wanted to rage and beat at my chest and damn her to the darkest depths of hell, just as I’d been banned for the last few months. Wanted her to feel the pain I felt breathing like a living entity deep inside of me.
But I didn’t.
Because Shayera would never love me if I did. She would hate me. She would loathe me. And I couldn’t live with that.
So though it took every ounce of courage I possessed, I handed my precious treasure over to Betty, who snatched her back up and pressed her tight to her chest, staring at me like I was a wild, caged animal.
The howl ripped up my throat, threatening to tear through their tiny home. I held it in, and with one last look of desperate longing, I turned and fled. Only once I was back outside and hidden within a thicket of trees did I give it wings.
My howl rang through the night, full of all the pain, sorrow, and tiny threads of hope that beat inside me. I transformed into a beast, a shaggy black dog with burning red eyes, and I stared at her window. Betty stood silhouetted in the light, a dark shadow hanging on to a tiny bundle.
With one final howl, I turned and fled.
In twenty-one years, I’d be back. Come hell or high water, I’d be back.
~*~
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The next book will be coming soon. If you want to know who’s next then keep an eye out on my FB page where I’m always dropping hints about what comes next. If you loved this book, consider leaving a review. Those things are a treasure in my world.
Other Books written as Jovee Winters
The Dark Queens
The Sea Queen, Book 1
The Passionate Queen, Book 2
The Ice Queen, Book 3
The Magic Queen, Book 4
The Dark Queen, Book 5
The Fairy Queen, Book 6
The Centaur Queen, Book 7
The Dark Kings
The Mad King, Book 1 (chronologically comes after The Fairy Queen)
The Jaded King, Book 2 (chronologically comes after The Centaur Queen)
If you love Fairy Tale Romances, then make sure to check out my other fairy tale themed stories written as Marie Hall
The Jaded King Page 16
